Help me lie to a child about magic
May 10, 2020 3:46 PM Subscribe
Over the last few months my niece has repeatedly expressed the conviction that I know how to do "real magic" and will teach it to her once we're allowed to see each other. Is there a way to handle this that will delight her but not set her up for disappointment in the future?
More or less spontaneously, my almost-five niece has decided I know "real magic" and asserted to her parents on multiple occasions that I am going to teach her to do real magic with her wand. I'm sure there's some easy "magic" I can do to entertain her but I'm worried about a) disappointing her b) setting up a situation where I use a trick to "teach her to do magic" but then it doesn't work in the future because it was actually a TRICK and then what happens???
She's been doing a lot of drawing in lockdown, so I was thinking something like... I get her to make a drawing of something that I know exists in her house but ideally she DOESN'T know about (i.e. something belonging to my sister) and then tap a box with her wand, and then the thing "appears" in the box. Problems with this: it depends on my sister owning something that her five-year-old doesn't know about but can draw sight unseen. This is not impossible, but challenging. Also, what happens when I "teach" it to her and then it doesn't work in the future?
So I guess this question is twofold: First, for people acquainted with five-year-old psychology, is it going to be upsetting to her if she can't replicate the "magic" when I'm not there? She has a lot of the "smart kid" pathologies I relate to, like not wanting to do something if she can't do it perfectly, and I'm worried about whether she'll think she's doing something "wrong" if it doesn't work when she does it on her own. Second, leaving that aside, what's a fun way to convince a kid that SHE (not you!) is doing magic?
I'm mostly looking for Zoom-able ideas, but I wouldn't turn my nose up at something that requires us to be in the same room (I'm not sure how long she'll stay this credulous, though, and we're both in Brooklyn so I have no idea when we'll be able to see each other).
More or less spontaneously, my almost-five niece has decided I know "real magic" and asserted to her parents on multiple occasions that I am going to teach her to do real magic with her wand. I'm sure there's some easy "magic" I can do to entertain her but I'm worried about a) disappointing her b) setting up a situation where I use a trick to "teach her to do magic" but then it doesn't work in the future because it was actually a TRICK and then what happens???
She's been doing a lot of drawing in lockdown, so I was thinking something like... I get her to make a drawing of something that I know exists in her house but ideally she DOESN'T know about (i.e. something belonging to my sister) and then tap a box with her wand, and then the thing "appears" in the box. Problems with this: it depends on my sister owning something that her five-year-old doesn't know about but can draw sight unseen. This is not impossible, but challenging. Also, what happens when I "teach" it to her and then it doesn't work in the future?
So I guess this question is twofold: First, for people acquainted with five-year-old psychology, is it going to be upsetting to her if she can't replicate the "magic" when I'm not there? She has a lot of the "smart kid" pathologies I relate to, like not wanting to do something if she can't do it perfectly, and I'm worried about whether she'll think she's doing something "wrong" if it doesn't work when she does it on her own. Second, leaving that aside, what's a fun way to convince a kid that SHE (not you!) is doing magic?
I'm mostly looking for Zoom-able ideas, but I wouldn't turn my nose up at something that requires us to be in the same room (I'm not sure how long she'll stay this credulous, though, and we're both in Brooklyn so I have no idea when we'll be able to see each other).
In a lot of children's media involving magic, people don't gain magical powers or are not allowed to use their powers until they reach a certain age. In Harry Potter, it's age 11; in Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, she wakes up with magic on her 16th birthday. Can you find an age-appropriate story for your niece that involves this trope of magic being only for older kids/teens, and convince her that that's the kind of magic your family practices? Try to pick an age that's far enough in the future that by the time she reaches that age, she'll have a good laugh about her childhood dream of doing magic, rather than waking up on her 6th or 7th birthday in tears because she does not have magical powers. Then, you can entertain her with magic tricks to your heart's content, but always within the framework of "you are not old enough to do magic but I'll teach you when you are a teenager."
posted by clair-de-lune at 4:24 PM on May 10, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by clair-de-lune at 4:24 PM on May 10, 2020 [5 favorites]
TheatreFX
(That’s a link to one of the devices I used, they have others)
...I used some of their gear to impress my niece and nephew, worked great and then worked again when I later explained the devices.
posted by aramaic at 5:23 PM on May 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
(That’s a link to one of the devices I used, they have others)
...I used some of their gear to impress my niece and nephew, worked great and then worked again when I later explained the devices.
posted by aramaic at 5:23 PM on May 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
Maybe get her a real magic trick, the sliding coin box is a good one for that age. She'll get the idea that it's perceptual and a good one can actually mess with adults, which is really fun for that age.
posted by sammyo at 5:34 PM on May 10, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by sammyo at 5:34 PM on May 10, 2020 [5 favorites]
When my kids were five they also loved magic. A witch is pretty much the only pop cultural icon girls are shown that allows them to have power without a man. And often it wasn’t just “doing” magic as much as having the acrotemonts to look like they could do magic. So, a hat (witch or top hat), a cape, a special wand. They also were amazed at the power to name things - that I could identify a tree etc. Can you send her seeds to grow (green witch magic is definitely magic) with a special pot etc? We went out and “controlled” the weather on windy days. The science mentioned above is especially good. Teach yourself how to make slime (cloud slime etc) and bring the supplies so she can make her own - including danoulous containers to put it in, various scents and food colouring. Go on nature walks together - there is always magic in stones, leaves, and mushrooms. You are overthinking this in wanting a big showy magic. The magic of being kind - make fairy doors together, birdhouses, and soup are all the type of power she is probably looking for.
posted by saucysault at 5:36 PM on May 10, 2020 [21 favorites]
posted by saucysault at 5:36 PM on May 10, 2020 [21 favorites]
During your zoom chats, a flower magically blooming in the glass tea cup at your elbow could be neat. When she can visit you again, maybe the same 'magic' will happen in her cup?
posted by Iris Gambol at 7:00 PM on May 10, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by Iris Gambol at 7:00 PM on May 10, 2020 [6 favorites]
Science is magic! Try this one: glass of water, put egg in it and it sinks. Next: add magic powder (salt), stir with magic wand, ta dah! Egg floats.
posted by warriorqueen at 7:08 PM on May 10, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by warriorqueen at 7:08 PM on May 10, 2020 [5 favorites]
She's telling herself a story. I don't think she's asking, or needs, for you to take over writing that story.
it sounds like a good story and as long as she's young enough to be making weird logical leaps and expecting other people to follow along, you can keep her going with questions longer than you could with answers.
posted by queenofbithynia at 7:11 PM on May 10, 2020 [33 favorites]
it sounds like a good story and as long as she's young enough to be making weird logical leaps and expecting other people to follow along, you can keep her going with questions longer than you could with answers.
posted by queenofbithynia at 7:11 PM on May 10, 2020 [33 favorites]
I have an almost-five-year-old myself, and I'm with queenofbithynia. I could see mine saying something like your niece has, not one breath later saying "magic isn't really real but we can pretend," and then seamlessly falling back into that pretend world where it just is real. In your place, I might ask something like, "How will I teach you?" or "What sorts of magic do I do?" or other open-ended questions that basically invite her to flesh out the story. Somewhere along the line, she might even tell you precisely what she'd like you to do! You might also get to a point where it makes sense to say something like, "Some people do magic tricks, would you like to learn one of those together?" or "This [science thing] is just like [magic thing], do you want to try it?" Letting her see behind the curtain won't break the experience.
posted by teremala at 8:18 PM on May 10, 2020 [29 favorites]
posted by teremala at 8:18 PM on May 10, 2020 [29 favorites]
If you google "kitchen chemistry" you can find some easy and safe magic-like activities for young kids.
My favorite one is boil some red cabbage, strain it and it's a very colourful ph indicator. You can add household acids and bases like lemon juice, soap etc to change the colour. I would suggest testing a few things yourself ahead of time for the demo, since some things don't make a huge visible difference, but she could also test whatever she wants after that and see for herself.
posted by randomnity at 10:10 PM on May 10, 2020 [2 favorites]
My favorite one is boil some red cabbage, strain it and it's a very colourful ph indicator. You can add household acids and bases like lemon juice, soap etc to change the colour. I would suggest testing a few things yourself ahead of time for the demo, since some things don't make a huge visible difference, but she could also test whatever she wants after that and see for herself.
posted by randomnity at 10:10 PM on May 10, 2020 [2 favorites]
Coin magic involves familiar and available objects for kids. My kid really loved the idea of misdirection for fooling people. You could talk about the magic circle and "bring them into the club" and that feels super-special for kids that age.
Slightly less open/direct: if you have a "magic" object unique to you, you can let her do the wand-waving to make it disappear, which can be entertaining if you come up with some set procedure that has to be done or it doesn't work (tap the wand while saying the name of the object 3 times, or similar). The failure/consternation of it "not working" adds to the fun.
posted by Wrinkled Stumpskin at 3:55 AM on May 11, 2020
Slightly less open/direct: if you have a "magic" object unique to you, you can let her do the wand-waving to make it disappear, which can be entertaining if you come up with some set procedure that has to be done or it doesn't work (tap the wand while saying the name of the object 3 times, or similar). The failure/consternation of it "not working" adds to the fun.
posted by Wrinkled Stumpskin at 3:55 AM on May 11, 2020
I LOVE the idea of teaching neat chemistry as potions! I mean, it's truly magical.
posted by advicepig at 11:13 AM on May 11, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by advicepig at 11:13 AM on May 11, 2020 [1 favorite]
When I was 6, my best friend's mum was literally the village witch (I'm old). I wasn't really supposed to play with her, but she lived next door and my mum wasn't very good at controlling anything, duh.
Anyway, mostly we'd just make potions out of dandelions and other wild plants and pretend to give them to our Cindy dolls. At other times we'd try to put spells on my brother, or one of the two other children in the village, and if they didn't work, we'd just blame ourselves for not doing it perfectly. Inventing a spell that can give her some sense of control is a very good idea, such as if you say these secret words with me, your mum will bake cookies. I'm taking it for granted that you can make your sister bake cookies, or whatever it is.
When I had my own children, they completely believed that I knew magic. Our food processor had broken, and it only worked if I inserted a chopstick (my magic wand) where the safety lock thingy used to be. That was all. They told all their friends about my skills and also spent years worrying that I might use my magic powers if they lied or something. The friends still talk about it today.
What I'm saying is that you don't need to worry. Apart from that I strongly support the ideas for home chemistry magic.
posted by mumimor at 5:33 AM on May 12, 2020 [2 favorites]
Anyway, mostly we'd just make potions out of dandelions and other wild plants and pretend to give them to our Cindy dolls. At other times we'd try to put spells on my brother, or one of the two other children in the village, and if they didn't work, we'd just blame ourselves for not doing it perfectly. Inventing a spell that can give her some sense of control is a very good idea, such as if you say these secret words with me, your mum will bake cookies. I'm taking it for granted that you can make your sister bake cookies, or whatever it is.
When I had my own children, they completely believed that I knew magic. Our food processor had broken, and it only worked if I inserted a chopstick (my magic wand) where the safety lock thingy used to be. That was all. They told all their friends about my skills and also spent years worrying that I might use my magic powers if they lied or something. The friends still talk about it today.
What I'm saying is that you don't need to worry. Apart from that I strongly support the ideas for home chemistry magic.
posted by mumimor at 5:33 AM on May 12, 2020 [2 favorites]
Like kitchen chemistry... there's math magic:
Beautiful Card Trick - Numberphile
Mind-boggling Card Trick (you can try at home)
Quick Mathematical Card Trick
Apologies, probably not yet.... Show her how to take off a bra without taking off the shirt.
String Through Neck
How to do Smoking Fingers Trick
9 AMAZING ICE experiments you must see (4k)
posted by zengargoyle at 8:35 PM on May 12, 2020 [1 favorite]
Beautiful Card Trick - Numberphile
Mind-boggling Card Trick (you can try at home)
Quick Mathematical Card Trick
Apologies, probably not yet.... Show her how to take off a bra without taking off the shirt.
String Through Neck
How to do Smoking Fingers Trick
9 AMAZING ICE experiments you must see (4k)
posted by zengargoyle at 8:35 PM on May 12, 2020 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
Is there some reason why she's decided you know magic? Like, do you have a job or some ability that might seem magical to a kid? Maybe you could show her how to do something related to that. FWIW I think it'd probably be pretty harmless if you played along with her belief to some extent, especially if you kept her guessing about whether you can do real magic or not. She may already understand that you can't really do magic, and this is just a fun little pretend thing for her.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 4:16 PM on May 10, 2020 [27 favorites]