Consider the Pizza Roll

April 1, 2020 5:05 PM

Of all the stuffed foods in the world, which does the Pizza Roll most closely resemble? I will accept justification based on shape, fillings, encasement ingredients, history, etc. Apologies if this is too discussiony, but the best answer does have a real world application.

The real world application is a joke, along these lines, but still.

posted by Grandysaur to Food & Drink (16 answers total)

You need to establish whether we're talking generically about actually-rolled-up pizza rolls, or Totino's Pizza Rolls. The former are clearly just savory rugelach. The latter are high-test ravioli.
posted by cortex at 5:11 PM on April 1, 2020 [9 favorites]

They are reminiscent of an empanada
posted by sacrifix at 5:12 PM on April 1, 2020 [1 favorite]

St. Louis style toasted ravioli is the closest thing to pizza rolls. And also awesome.
posted by erst at 5:12 PM on April 1, 2020 [7 favorites]

Response by poster: Oh totino's, for sure. Or rather, the Costco-brand knockoff (which are way better.)
posted by Grandysaur at 5:13 PM on April 1, 2020

Calzones? I don't see why this is even a question.
posted by mark k at 5:24 PM on April 1, 2020 [11 favorites]

Isn’t a calzone just a subcategory of empanada, really?

I guess, if you’re Nebraskan, you could say they’re a variety of runza.
posted by kevinbelt at 5:31 PM on April 1, 2020

Ravioli
posted by Sparky Buttons at 5:32 PM on April 1, 2020

Eggroll, based on the similarity of the casing.
posted by punchtothehead at 5:42 PM on April 1, 2020 [2 favorites]

What Is the Difference Between a Calzone and a Stromboli? Bon Appetit sez: "...calzone is like a taco, and a stromboli is like a burrito. Tacos and calzones are always folded. Burritos and stromboli are always rolled. You seal a calzone by folding it in half and crimping the edges. You seal a stromboli by rolling it in a spiral and folding some extra dough back over the stromboli."

A Totino's pizza roll is like a machine-stamped, baked-wonton/deep-fried ravioli type appetizer, with a thicker/tougher crust. (Or: a burnt pierogi.)
posted by Iris Gambol at 5:44 PM on April 1, 2020 [4 favorites]

Came here to say toasted ravioli from St. Louis. By the way, Totinos pizza rolls are a nutritionally complete food - if you get the supreme, they contain all food groups and I will fight anyone on this point.
posted by honeybee413 at 6:32 PM on April 1, 2020 [3 favorites]

Gyoza/potsticker, maybe.
posted by wanderingmind at 7:20 PM on April 1, 2020

It's a dumpling, surely.
posted by rhiannonstone at 8:05 PM on April 1, 2020

Calzone
posted by STFUDonnie at 4:18 AM on April 2, 2020

Well, if you're going with the pizza model you cited, you could always describe all the ingredients followed by "encased in an artisinally formed flaky crust"
posted by Mchelly at 6:21 AM on April 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

What Is the Difference Between a Calzone and a Stromboli? Bon Appetit sez: "...calzone is like a taco, and a stromboli is like a burrito. "

They totally made that up, as I've never seen a calzone or stromboli served like that anywhere in the US.


And I say totinos pizza rolls are tiny ravioli.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:00 AM on April 2, 2020

I used to drunk-eat pizza rolls at this corner joint in Allston, MA.
These were like take-out Chinese egg rolls but stuffed with sauce and cheese and they were deep fried and cost a dollar each. Omg I’m fucking starving.
posted by jen14221 at 5:56 PM on April 2, 2020 [2 favorites]