How do I stop waking up after about every sleep cycle?
April 1, 2020 6:45 AM Subscribe
Lately I've been waking up about every hour-and-a-half to two hours. I can go back to sleep (usually) but then I'm up again another 90-120 minutes later. I figure it's after I hit the first REM cycle or so because I generally wake up after dreaming. The dreams are not bad dreams, and there's nothing in them that would jar me awake. Sleep habits haven't changed. What's going on?
My sleep habits aren't the greatest (I use my laptop and phone in bed, but generally not before I turn the lights off), but like I said, they haven't changed from before this began. I don't feel particularly anxious and I stop all stimulants before 3pm. I go to bed around 9-9:30pm. Bed is pretty comfortable. What happened?
My sleep habits aren't the greatest (I use my laptop and phone in bed, but generally not before I turn the lights off), but like I said, they haven't changed from before this began. I don't feel particularly anxious and I stop all stimulants before 3pm. I go to bed around 9-9:30pm. Bed is pretty comfortable. What happened?
When you wake up turn on your sense and try to perceive if anything is different, such as different light or noise levels. You might be used to the sound of heavy traffic to signal it is safe to sleep and the lack of noise might be waking you.
When you are half awake talk to your subconscious and tell yourself that it is safe to go to sleep again and that you don't need to wake up and if you do wake up you can go straight back to sleep again. Do this whenever you are falling asleep or starting to wake up when you don't need to. Make sure that you do not have anxious thoughts, even minor ones popping into your mind during these waking periods. Observe your thoughts the same way you observe your senses the way I described above.
Pick a thought as an substitute to immediately move into if you realise that there is an alarming thought entering your mind when you are waking and train yourself to move from the alarming thought to the safe one, before the alarming thought can get stronger. One good type of substitute thought is a happy ending to the story so that the transition from say, 'pandemic fear' is to 'Monty Python, plague victims are actually alive and healthy and anyway, just actors' or 'gonna watch the Nobel prizes when they hand out the prize for the treatment that turned it all into a fizzle'. It is easier for your mind to transition to a related good thought than to suppress a bad one you don't want, as in trying to not think of a white bear is hard, but thinking about black bears to stop thinking about a white bear is much easier.
For many people anxieties are well controlled during the daytime but when the brain has to do the sleep processing they can come out and create weird images or sleep problems. There are people who go into high-functioning mode and set a good and reassuring example to other people when there are scary thing going on, but they have often trained themself to displace their anxiety and often think that they aren't scared, or angry, or grief-struck, when they are and it is waiting to come out. It needs to come our at some point or it may somatize. There is a decent chance that you now feel things are under control enough that you are ready to process your troubles and feel them more.
And of course anxiety does not have to relate to the headlines in the news. It could relate to much more personal things. Try journaling in the middle or the day so that thinking of bad thoughts does not become associated with either falling asleep or waking up.
posted by Jane the Brown at 7:12 AM on April 1, 2020 [5 favorites]
When you are half awake talk to your subconscious and tell yourself that it is safe to go to sleep again and that you don't need to wake up and if you do wake up you can go straight back to sleep again. Do this whenever you are falling asleep or starting to wake up when you don't need to. Make sure that you do not have anxious thoughts, even minor ones popping into your mind during these waking periods. Observe your thoughts the same way you observe your senses the way I described above.
Pick a thought as an substitute to immediately move into if you realise that there is an alarming thought entering your mind when you are waking and train yourself to move from the alarming thought to the safe one, before the alarming thought can get stronger. One good type of substitute thought is a happy ending to the story so that the transition from say, 'pandemic fear' is to 'Monty Python, plague victims are actually alive and healthy and anyway, just actors' or 'gonna watch the Nobel prizes when they hand out the prize for the treatment that turned it all into a fizzle'. It is easier for your mind to transition to a related good thought than to suppress a bad one you don't want, as in trying to not think of a white bear is hard, but thinking about black bears to stop thinking about a white bear is much easier.
For many people anxieties are well controlled during the daytime but when the brain has to do the sleep processing they can come out and create weird images or sleep problems. There are people who go into high-functioning mode and set a good and reassuring example to other people when there are scary thing going on, but they have often trained themself to displace their anxiety and often think that they aren't scared, or angry, or grief-struck, when they are and it is waiting to come out. It needs to come our at some point or it may somatize. There is a decent chance that you now feel things are under control enough that you are ready to process your troubles and feel them more.
And of course anxiety does not have to relate to the headlines in the news. It could relate to much more personal things. Try journaling in the middle or the day so that thinking of bad thoughts does not become associated with either falling asleep or waking up.
posted by Jane the Brown at 7:12 AM on April 1, 2020 [5 favorites]
To name the elephant in the room, most people I know, including myself, are having minor or major sleep issues due to the underlying stress of life right now. Even if things are objectively ok for someone (ie, not sick, family members aren't sick, job is stable, etc.), we are all being bombarded with terrible news and "what-if"s all day long. And, socially distancing means less social contact, less going out, and so on -- all things that make us healthy and relaxed.
For myself, really upping the "sleep hygiene" stuff (ie, no screens before bed, less caffeine, etc) has helped, but doesn't totally solve it; I'm not expecting my sleep to fully go back to normal until the situation is more normal.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:12 AM on April 1, 2020 [3 favorites]
For myself, really upping the "sleep hygiene" stuff (ie, no screens before bed, less caffeine, etc) has helped, but doesn't totally solve it; I'm not expecting my sleep to fully go back to normal until the situation is more normal.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:12 AM on April 1, 2020 [3 favorites]
Here's what I think: I think that you are getting older.
Okay, this is obvious. We're all getting older. But from my personal experience, and from talking with others, this is something that some folks struggle with as they age. In my case, I first noticed that I was waking after every sleep cycle (90 minutes almost every time) during my mid thirties. This has only become more pronounced over the past fifteen years. (I just turned 51.)
It bugged me for a long time, but eventually I just learned to embrace it. I wake up, check the clock, think "it's been 90 minutes", then go back to sleep.
The real trouble is that eventually I had trouble falling back asleep! That's what really sucks. But I've solved that by playing audiobooks all night long. The constant droning of a reader helps me fall back asleep without my mind starting to spin. I wake up every ninety minutes, listen to to a minute or two of Frodo and Sam walking to Mordor, then drift off again.
Anyhow, I think this whole "waking every sleep cycle" thing is relatively common and a byproduct of aging. But I could be wrong.
posted by jdroth at 7:17 AM on April 1, 2020 [10 favorites]
Okay, this is obvious. We're all getting older. But from my personal experience, and from talking with others, this is something that some folks struggle with as they age. In my case, I first noticed that I was waking after every sleep cycle (90 minutes almost every time) during my mid thirties. This has only become more pronounced over the past fifteen years. (I just turned 51.)
It bugged me for a long time, but eventually I just learned to embrace it. I wake up, check the clock, think "it's been 90 minutes", then go back to sleep.
The real trouble is that eventually I had trouble falling back asleep! That's what really sucks. But I've solved that by playing audiobooks all night long. The constant droning of a reader helps me fall back asleep without my mind starting to spin. I wake up every ninety minutes, listen to to a minute or two of Frodo and Sam walking to Mordor, then drift off again.
Anyhow, I think this whole "waking every sleep cycle" thing is relatively common and a byproduct of aging. But I could be wrong.
posted by jdroth at 7:17 AM on April 1, 2020 [10 favorites]
Could you possibly have sleep apnea?
posted by wooh at 7:28 AM on April 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by wooh at 7:28 AM on April 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
When this happens to me, it usually means I'm not tired enough when I go to bed. Keep your wakeup time but stay up a little later, doing something relaxing that doesn't involve glowing screens. Or add a half hour of vigorous exercise at some point in your day.
posted by BrashTech at 7:33 AM on April 1, 2020
posted by BrashTech at 7:33 AM on April 1, 2020
Your sleep habits may not have changed, but what about everything else? On top of the increased level of background stress at the moment - you may not be feeling particularly anxious, but that doesn't mean you're not affected by what's going on - if your area's in lockdown then you're likely getting less exercise than usual, and perhaps also eating and drinking different things at different times from usual. (Perhaps you're eating your main meal earlier or later, for instance.)
We're all different, but for me, stress level, amount of exercise during the day, alcohol consumption, caffeine consumption and room temperature are the things most likely to affect my sleep. Insufficient exercise and too much stress are the factors most likely to see me waking up over and over the way you describe.
You could try installing a sleep tracker app on your phone, and see if it helps you figure out what's going on. The one I use (Sleep Cycle, on an iPhone) lets me track all sorts of factors that might affect sleep, which is how I'm able to tell you which specific things tend to make my sleep worse.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 7:48 AM on April 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
We're all different, but for me, stress level, amount of exercise during the day, alcohol consumption, caffeine consumption and room temperature are the things most likely to affect my sleep. Insufficient exercise and too much stress are the factors most likely to see me waking up over and over the way you describe.
You could try installing a sleep tracker app on your phone, and see if it helps you figure out what's going on. The one I use (Sleep Cycle, on an iPhone) lets me track all sorts of factors that might affect sleep, which is how I'm able to tell you which specific things tend to make my sleep worse.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 7:48 AM on April 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
Me too. I've been told that I am a "serial sleeper." My pattern seems to resemble yours.
I count the night successful if I wake up only once. Most times I just go to the bathroom (optional, but it's something to do), then go back to bed. Sometimes I do an hour of improve on my guitar. Every now and then the night is a disaster, sleepwise.
I've learned to not turn on any lights (if that's possible). That often leads me back to dreamland. For some reason it seems like I need to just get out of bed and do something (visit the toilet, get a drink, eat a strawberry, play the guitar; any of that). I used to turn on the bed lamp and read. Often that causes me to nod off after a few paragraphs--the last thing I'll remember is the sound of the book hitting the floor.
This has been going on since the '60s. I have mentioned this to several doctors over the years. A composite of their reaction is: a mild raising of the eyebrows and a response such as "Oh, is that so?"
posted by mule98J at 7:50 AM on April 1, 2020
I count the night successful if I wake up only once. Most times I just go to the bathroom (optional, but it's something to do), then go back to bed. Sometimes I do an hour of improve on my guitar. Every now and then the night is a disaster, sleepwise.
I've learned to not turn on any lights (if that's possible). That often leads me back to dreamland. For some reason it seems like I need to just get out of bed and do something (visit the toilet, get a drink, eat a strawberry, play the guitar; any of that). I used to turn on the bed lamp and read. Often that causes me to nod off after a few paragraphs--the last thing I'll remember is the sound of the book hitting the floor.
This has been going on since the '60s. I have mentioned this to several doctors over the years. A composite of their reaction is: a mild raising of the eyebrows and a response such as "Oh, is that so?"
posted by mule98J at 7:50 AM on April 1, 2020
It might be time to experiment with an earlier caffeine cutoff, or eliminating it entirely.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 8:03 AM on April 1, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 8:03 AM on April 1, 2020 [2 favorites]
If you live in an apartment, the noises and vibrations from neighboring apartments might be different now that everyone's schedule has changed.
I've found that brown noise and deep red noise work best for blocking out neighbor noises, better than plain white noise. There are 8+ hour tracks on YouTube of both.
posted by Jacqueline at 8:57 AM on April 1, 2020
I've found that brown noise and deep red noise work best for blocking out neighbor noises, better than plain white noise. There are 8+ hour tracks on YouTube of both.
posted by Jacqueline at 8:57 AM on April 1, 2020
For me, this was a combination of age and remote working. If you think of sleep as a way to recuperate and organize new things, it sorta trails off as you get older and spend most of your time in the same place every day. You just don't need as much sleep as you do when you're up and about and a bazillion new things cross your mind every day. I started waking up after 3 hours, take a piss, 3 more and I'm done and won't sleep anymore. Then I started just drifting from dream to awake and the only difference was thinking "what the hell have I been thinking for the past 3 hours?" So I usually just spend a few minutes going backwards trying to remember little details about that dream that just happened. Some of them would make good movies. Some of them I can map the "map of the places" onto maps of real places like that bit of space is a real space. Then back to sleep or wake up.
So... it's probably being stuck in lockdown and age. Maybe you can exercise enough to wear yourself out more. Maybe stay up later and get up earlier because in the current situation you just don't kneed that solid 8 hours or whatever of sleep at the moment. Stay up until you're really tired, get up when you wake up. Actually staying in bed and sleeping "just because you think you need that 8 hours" ends up messing you up even more by making you tired all day long because you got too much sleep.
Try polyphasic sleep, sleep for 4 hours, stay up 8, sleep 4 more, stay up 8, repeat. Trade an afternoon nap for staying in bed for a full-nights sleep. Many things have changed.
posted by zengargoyle at 9:13 AM on April 1, 2020
So... it's probably being stuck in lockdown and age. Maybe you can exercise enough to wear yourself out more. Maybe stay up later and get up earlier because in the current situation you just don't kneed that solid 8 hours or whatever of sleep at the moment. Stay up until you're really tired, get up when you wake up. Actually staying in bed and sleeping "just because you think you need that 8 hours" ends up messing you up even more by making you tired all day long because you got too much sleep.
Try polyphasic sleep, sleep for 4 hours, stay up 8, sleep 4 more, stay up 8, repeat. Trade an afternoon nap for staying in bed for a full-nights sleep. Many things have changed.
posted by zengargoyle at 9:13 AM on April 1, 2020
I've solved that by playing audiobooks all night long. The constant droning of a reader helps me fall back asleep without my mind starting to spin. I wake up every ninety minutes, listen to to a minute or two of Frodo and Sam walking to Mordor, then drift off again.
I do this too! a familiar book read in a pleasant voice, volume nice and low, and I drift back off to sleep no problem.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 4:10 PM on April 1, 2020
I do this too! a familiar book read in a pleasant voice, volume nice and low, and I drift back off to sleep no problem.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 4:10 PM on April 1, 2020
Change of diet? A while back, I started having proteins in the morning and just salad for dinner every night. Insomnia followed. I added a little more protein to accompany my salad, and now I sleep much better. My theory is that the brain needs protein to manufacture melatonin; not enough protein and my sleep becomes disordered.
posted by SPrintF at 4:56 PM on April 1, 2020
posted by SPrintF at 4:56 PM on April 1, 2020
How old are you?
Do you have a few drinks in the evening? Some weed?
Your age is the big one.
posted by dustpuppy at 5:36 PM on April 1, 2020
Do you have a few drinks in the evening? Some weed?
Your age is the big one.
posted by dustpuppy at 5:36 PM on April 1, 2020
Don't know how to make it stop. If you are awakening after a dream, sometimes it helps to try to get back into the dream and further the action along. A kind push toward lucid dreaming. Other times, turning on bedtime story telling with Sleepwithmepodcast.com can lull me back to sleep or, at least, entertain my wakefulness.
posted by Gino on the Meta at 11:45 AM on April 2, 2020
posted by Gino on the Meta at 11:45 AM on April 2, 2020
Response by poster: I'm 34. This happens despite working out, and I don't drink (usually) or smoke. I was afraid aging might be a factor. :(
I'll implement some of these suggestions and report back!
posted by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on April 5, 2020
I'll implement some of these suggestions and report back!
posted by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on April 5, 2020
This thread is closed to new comments.
This happens to me---"this" being waking after almost every sleep cycle---but since I usually go right back to sleep, it doesn't lead me to think anything is wrong. This is just my experience for most all of my life.
posted by tmdonahue at 7:07 AM on April 1, 2020 [1 favorite]