Why is my bed doing this?
February 25, 2020 5:17 AM Subscribe
My bed is giving me hip pain and sciatica. Why? What other bed might be better? Details within.
About a year ago I got a new bed. It's very firm but unavoidably has a "luxury" topper with regular and memory foam built in. I got the new bed to solve a lot of back problems I'd been having from a nightmare memory foam mattress - I couldn't walk very far without terrible back and leg pain, I could feel my spine sort of twisting as I sank unevenly into the foam, etc.
I'm a lot better now, actually, and can walk a couple of miles at a stretch with only a little pain. But in the past couple of months I've started getting terrible shooting pains down the sides of my legs, seemingly starting in my hips, when I first get out of bed and straighten up. Most days, I can walk it off, but not always. I believe it to be the bed because I'll go to work, sit up all day, feel pretty decent on the way home and then if I lie down in bed for twenty minutes, I'll have the same symptoms that I'd walked off earlier.
What is even happening? What kind of bed do I need? I obviously need a firm bed, but not this bed. (I hate memory foam. Do not recommend memory foam anything; I sink into it and cannot move without terrible pain.)
About a year ago I got a new bed. It's very firm but unavoidably has a "luxury" topper with regular and memory foam built in. I got the new bed to solve a lot of back problems I'd been having from a nightmare memory foam mattress - I couldn't walk very far without terrible back and leg pain, I could feel my spine sort of twisting as I sank unevenly into the foam, etc.
I'm a lot better now, actually, and can walk a couple of miles at a stretch with only a little pain. But in the past couple of months I've started getting terrible shooting pains down the sides of my legs, seemingly starting in my hips, when I first get out of bed and straighten up. Most days, I can walk it off, but not always. I believe it to be the bed because I'll go to work, sit up all day, feel pretty decent on the way home and then if I lie down in bed for twenty minutes, I'll have the same symptoms that I'd walked off earlier.
What is even happening? What kind of bed do I need? I obviously need a firm bed, but not this bed. (I hate memory foam. Do not recommend memory foam anything; I sink into it and cannot move without terrible pain.)
My first thought was PT as well... why type/brand/firmness bed do you have and why do you think it is the problem?
posted by Grither at 6:37 AM on February 25, 2020
posted by Grither at 6:37 AM on February 25, 2020
I would consult a doctor. It may not be the bed itself (or the bed alone) but the position of lying down or the impact of the day catching up to you?
posted by sallybrown at 6:39 AM on February 25, 2020
posted by sallybrown at 6:39 AM on February 25, 2020
This seems... more likely to be the sitting all day part than the lying down part? When we sit all day, the hip muscles that usually hold everything in place slowly weaken. Then, in certain positions, the sciatic nerve gets squeezed and aggravated. Source: my physical therapist, who helped me fix it. See also, this page. I mean, I guess the bed could be related, but I've only ever had this pain when I reduced my activity level (after I stopped bike commuting, and after I stopped martial arts).
posted by zennie at 6:43 AM on February 25, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by zennie at 6:43 AM on February 25, 2020 [2 favorites]
I've battled sciatica for an extended period a few years ago. We switched to an all-memory-foam mattress and at around the same time, I started using a standing desk for part of the day. I also (yes) visited a chiropractor and started doing piriformis stretches daily on the affected side. One or all of these things cleared it up gradually and it's never come back. I feel for you. Sciatica sucks a lot.
posted by jquinby at 6:46 AM on February 25, 2020
posted by jquinby at 6:46 AM on February 25, 2020
It's very firm but unavoidably has a "luxury" topper with regular and memory foam built in.
I can't say whether or not a genuinely firm sleep surface would help, but I can say that when you have a mattress that's not designed to be flipped, the "wrong" side -- the actually firm side -- is the only one worth sleeping on. try turning it over to the side without the topper, see if it's any better.
this is what I do for similar issues. but every spine is unhappy in its own way
posted by queenofbithynia at 6:54 AM on February 25, 2020
I can't say whether or not a genuinely firm sleep surface would help, but I can say that when you have a mattress that's not designed to be flipped, the "wrong" side -- the actually firm side -- is the only one worth sleeping on. try turning it over to the side without the topper, see if it's any better.
this is what I do for similar issues. but every spine is unhappy in its own way
posted by queenofbithynia at 6:54 AM on February 25, 2020
Response by poster: To clarify - I have had PT, I sleep in a sciatica-friendly position and I am literally better after sitting in a chair than lying in my bed. I get in to work with pain, I leave work with no pain. (Also, my job involves getting up at least once an hour to walk around and do stuff.) Believe me, I am fairly confident that the bed is the issue.
Please trust that I have seen doctors, do stretches, etc.
posted by Frowner at 6:54 AM on February 25, 2020
Please trust that I have seen doctors, do stretches, etc.
posted by Frowner at 6:54 AM on February 25, 2020
As someone that got really bad sciatica and bursitis for years and accidentally cured it when I got a softer mattress that would be my suggestion, except it sounds like you need the firmer mattress for your back In my case it was literally being caused by the pressure of how I was sleeping at night on a mattress with no give. No amount of falling asleep in the right position helped because as soon as I was asleep I'd just roll out of it. Your current pillow top might not be enough as you sink down through them to the hard/firm underneath, in my case a full memory foam mattress solved the problem, but you need a firmer mattress for your back in which case I'd suggest trying out more & thicker pillow tops or as you seem to know the sciatica friendly positions to sleep I'd maybe make sure I was staying in them when asleep with vast numbers of pillows & body pillows.
posted by wwax at 7:46 AM on February 25, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by wwax at 7:46 AM on February 25, 2020 [2 favorites]
I have been struggling with hip pain and sciatica that sometimes gets worse when lying down, or sitting or standing. It is so frustrating.
My theory is that this sort of thing, especially when doctors and imaging can't find anything, is caused by pre-existing minor trauma that gets inflamed in certain positions, which causes a cycle of pain. A half inch shift in position might make all the difference between a nerve getting pinched or a sore muscle getting reinjured or not.
I tried to find the magic mattress, and while I did make a change and that really helped, it wasn't a total fix. I ended up with a super-hard and cheap Amazon mattress-in-a-box topped with the more expensive type of Tempur-Pedic mattress topper. There's a big difference between mattress toppers and I recommend getting a Tempur-Pedic instead of a $50 slab of blue foam. They are not even in the same league. Something else I considered, but did not try, was a high quality traditional-style futon mattress.
I suggest taking a very careful look at your mattress and bed and heavily experiment. Is your mattress slightly uneven? Try rotating your mattress and see if that helps, or at least changes the pain. Do you tend to twist to one side or another even a tiny bit when lying down? Even an inch or two might matter. Keep your legs, back and arms in different positions and see how that feels. Use pillows in every configuration. I got an orthopedic pillow to go between my legs and that really helped. Try different beds if possible, or the floor, or an exercise mat, in different positions. I even found that the way I was making my bed was interfering with how I was lying down, and changing that helped.
I also do PT stretches and realized that when I do one particular stretch in the morning it causes a particular pain that goes away with the stretch and doesn't return in that specific way until the next morning. This both feels good and is useful to know.
Also, not bed related, but also try experimenting with deep massage of various parts of your body. I sometimes use a Thera Cane but you can use your fist if you're strong enough. When you're in pain, try digging in -- without injuring yourself, be reasonable here -- to various parts of your thighs, bottom, and lower back and see what happens. Maybe nothing, maybe some weird release of tension that feels good.
I hope this helps, and please feel free to MeMail me if you want to discuss further.
posted by bright flowers at 10:01 AM on February 25, 2020
My theory is that this sort of thing, especially when doctors and imaging can't find anything, is caused by pre-existing minor trauma that gets inflamed in certain positions, which causes a cycle of pain. A half inch shift in position might make all the difference between a nerve getting pinched or a sore muscle getting reinjured or not.
I tried to find the magic mattress, and while I did make a change and that really helped, it wasn't a total fix. I ended up with a super-hard and cheap Amazon mattress-in-a-box topped with the more expensive type of Tempur-Pedic mattress topper. There's a big difference between mattress toppers and I recommend getting a Tempur-Pedic instead of a $50 slab of blue foam. They are not even in the same league. Something else I considered, but did not try, was a high quality traditional-style futon mattress.
I suggest taking a very careful look at your mattress and bed and heavily experiment. Is your mattress slightly uneven? Try rotating your mattress and see if that helps, or at least changes the pain. Do you tend to twist to one side or another even a tiny bit when lying down? Even an inch or two might matter. Keep your legs, back and arms in different positions and see how that feels. Use pillows in every configuration. I got an orthopedic pillow to go between my legs and that really helped. Try different beds if possible, or the floor, or an exercise mat, in different positions. I even found that the way I was making my bed was interfering with how I was lying down, and changing that helped.
I also do PT stretches and realized that when I do one particular stretch in the morning it causes a particular pain that goes away with the stretch and doesn't return in that specific way until the next morning. This both feels good and is useful to know.
Also, not bed related, but also try experimenting with deep massage of various parts of your body. I sometimes use a Thera Cane but you can use your fist if you're strong enough. When you're in pain, try digging in -- without injuring yourself, be reasonable here -- to various parts of your thighs, bottom, and lower back and see what happens. Maybe nothing, maybe some weird release of tension that feels good.
I hope this helps, and please feel free to MeMail me if you want to discuss further.
posted by bright flowers at 10:01 AM on February 25, 2020
I think you are me! I had months of PT, but what cinched the soft-bed diagnosis was two nights in a B&B with a plain mattress. My pain was gone. I then spent 3 hrs in the mattress store, laying for a long time on each one and bought pretty much their cheapest mattress. Medium-firm, no topper. My husband grieves for the plush memory foam, but too bad for him.
posted by gryphonlover at 10:24 AM on February 25, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by gryphonlover at 10:24 AM on February 25, 2020 [2 favorites]
I loathe memory foam, even the toppers. I am larger person with a curved lower back, and memory foam just exaggerates that curve, which pinches and twists my nerves, pelvis and lower spine. I have observed that smaller people and people who aren't as bottom heavy as me do not appear to have this problem. Inner spring mattresses with a topper that isn't memory foam feel much better, but are difficult to find.
posted by Feminazgul at 1:17 PM on February 25, 2020
posted by Feminazgul at 1:17 PM on February 25, 2020
This thread is closed to new comments.
Give it two months with those changes before you give up on the bed.
posted by bilabial at 6:29 AM on February 25, 2020 [1 favorite]