How do I decipher my religion?

March 11, 2006 4:19 PM

I am searching for my spirituality. I suppose I never lost it, but I yearn to pinpoint what it is I actually believe...

I have, since the end of high school (I am currently almost finished graduate school), proclaimed myself an agnostic. In some sense, I suppose I am. I believe in God, but I am unsure how to reconcile all my beliefs, if even possible. I will provide some background for context. (Forgive me, this is going to be long, but I urge you to read on if you feel you might have some contribution.)

My parents were raised Hindu in their home country. They migrated to the United States in their early adult lives where they raised my siblings and me, however, they never completely instilled Hinduism in us. This is not to say my parents were not religious at home (they indeed were, and my mom remains very religious), but our family never went to temple or anything like that. Many of my cousins' families who lived here went to temple and engaged in cultural activities, but my parents, although active themselves, never immersed us in the religion and culture. Although my siblings and I never officially attended any religious churches/temples, we were aware that God existed, first by reference to the Baba (or Guru) whom my parents revered as a saint (they knew the Baba personally in their young lives -- largely common in the Hindu religion).

Alongside my "exposure" to Hinduism, I learned about Christianity little by little throughout my early and young adult life -- almost all of my friends were either Catholic or Protestant. Because I identified with my friends, and had no close friends from my culture growing up, I often feel that I became even more familiar with Christianity than Hinduism. Indeed, I still feel comforted by holidays such as Christmas and Easter (which my family avidly celebrated growing up, although more secularly). Further, I feel some strange connection to the Christian church, which I attended from time to time while young with friends. I also at one point belonged to a Christian youth group -- during middle school and high school I felt I needed to identify with some religion, and I felt that Christianity was one with which I felt very comfortable.

I never told my parents that I considered converting in high school to Christianity. Actually, I was not even sure I would be "converting," as I never felt Hindu per se. Although, my parents have made it clear to me that one is "born Hindu," so I accepted that I was. But it bears mention that Hindus, contrary to popular belief, are very open to all religions (and also surprising -- Hinduism is a monotheistic faith). My parents indeed attended Catholic school their entire lives growing up, which was common for many able to afford it. As I mentioned earlier, they celebrated Christmas with reverence (a practice to which many Indians adhere). Yet, my parents sometimes teased me as being the "Christian" of the family, so I felt some embarrassment in voicing my beliefs at the time.

Finally, once I went away to college, at a diverse, intelligent university, I felt comfortable with the idea that I was Agnostic. This was the first time I found others who could identify with that "lost" feeling of believing in God, but not being able to find some cohesive framework with which to identify.

I felt comfortable as an Agnostic for a while, and I suppose, to some extent, I still am. Yet, I also feel that I need something more tangible sense of religion in my life right now (I lead a high-stress life that often overwhelms me). But I cannot reconcile any of my beliefs in a way that makes sense. For instance, I believe in God. I believe that Jesus Christ was a prophet, and, indeed he was even the son of God. Yet, I also believe that there are many prophets who have found their way here to allow God to present Himself to people of all colors, religions (or faiths or whatever), ethnicities, etc. In other words, I believe that God can express Himself in different ways to different people, but there is just one God.

Perhaps this is my way of reconciling an upbringing that somewhat conflicts with the religious education (or non-education) I received in life along the way. At any rate, can anyone suggest a religion into which I might fall (other than Agnosticism)? Further, is it possible to believe that Jesus is the son of God and yet believe that there were many other prophets (even ones whom the Christian church might not believe as such)? Sometimes, I feel people are closed-minded to that kind of thing because it is foreign to them. Just because it is foreign, does not make it wrong. Are there any actual religious faiths under which I fall? I really am in search of finding my faith and just being able to attend a religious meeting place where I can express my spirituality.

I understand this was long and all over the place, but I am writing as I think, and, as you can tell, am not even sure what I think. Please offer any ideas, comments, questions, suggestions, advice, etc. All contributions are highly appreciated.

posted by orangeshoe to religion & philosophy (25 comments total)

It might help if you restated your specific questions.
posted by aberrant at 4:24 PM on March 11, 2006

I have, since the end of high school (I am currently almost finished graduate school), proclaimed myself an agnostic. In some sense, I suppose I am. I believe in God, but...

Agnostic is a specific term which means someone who believes it is not possible to know wether or not god exists.
posted by delmoi at 4:32 PM on March 11, 2006

You may want to check out the Bahai faith as they accept many prophets. I don't know much about them except the fact that they create and maintain incredible gardens at incredible expense.

NB - you are not an agnostic if you believe in God. Agnosticism is, broadly, the position that we cannot know whether or not there is a God.
posted by Ugandan Discussions at 4:37 PM on March 11, 2006

_{Well, you should stay away from meatbomb's cult.}

Also, what about unitarianism? From what I understand it's a basic mixture of 'spirituality' along with a healthy dose of skepticism and inclusiveness. Some people call it a church for athiests with kids, but it might be what you're looking for: sprituality without dogma.
posted by delmoi at 4:38 PM on March 11, 2006

Further, is it possible to believe that Jesus is the son of God and yet believe that there were many other prophets (even ones whom the Christian church might not believe as such)?

Of course, it's possible to belive whatever you want.

I have to wonder, what is it you're looking for in your faith? Is it just to feel spiritually uplifted, or do you want to join with a group of people, like at a church and do churchy things? Do you seek spiritually enlightenment for yourself, or do you want to be part of a community?

If all you seek is spiritual enlightenment, if I were in your position I would try to read up on various world religions. I've personally always been fond of Buddhism, and found Zen (as well as tartaric Buddhism, heh) fascinating. You should do research and come to your own conclusions.

As a non-religious person, to me all religious believes are equally valid, so there is no reason to believe what someone else tells you, you should be free to come to your own conclusions.

The Unitarian church, I think, will let you believe as you wish, without too much judgment. That's what it's there for, to provide the church community aspect to people who don't 'fit in' with other religious organizations.

I would stay away from monolithic religions like Islam, Mormonism, and Scientology, which were probably founded by people mostly seeking their own earthly power. You could say the same thing about Christianity, but Christianity is so fragmented now. There are Christian churches which are very close-minded and anti-intellectual (like evangelical) and much more laid back churches like the Anglican church (I think, I'm not really an expert).

But I think you should feel free to do your own research and come to your own conclusions about the nature of the world, rather then asking for a pre-defined set of beliefs that may have been come up with by someone with ulterior motives.
posted by delmoi at 4:49 PM on March 11, 2006

Have you tried the Belief-O-Matic over at Beliefnet.com? It sounds frivolous, but it actually pinpointed my place in the spiritual spectrum pretty closely.
posted by lhauser at 4:52 PM on March 11, 2006

lhauser: the belief-o-matic is very, very christian-centric.
posted by delmoi at 4:58 PM on March 11, 2006

You might fit in with Unitarian Universalists, or with Quakers.
posted by Jeanne at 5:16 PM on March 11, 2006

Suggested reading material:

The Gospel of Matthew. I re-read it every few years. Jesus is always somewhat shocking when you actually read about his words and deeds in the original written accounts -- far more vivid than the various flavors of Jesus you get from any one Christian denomination.

The Tao Teh Ching. The foundational book of Taoism, a series of 81 "chapters" (more like poetic verses). I prefer the Witter Bynner translation, which is fairly loose but very profound.

I don't know if that helps you find a particular religion or group to affiliate with. But you might check out the Episcopal Church (the American branch of the Anglican Church). It has a very traditional liturgy, beautifully written prayers and hymns, and a sense of seriousness that does not shade over into being somber or grim. And theologically, it's much less rigidly dogmatic than Catholicism, while being more grounded in specific teachings than Unitarianism (which is a little too wide open for my tastes). In fact, it's one of the more politically liberal Christian denominations.

Joke: Did you hear about the Jehovah's Witness who became a Unitarian? He went door-to-door to talk about nothing in particular.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 5:33 PM on March 11, 2006

I agree on reading about Buddhism, esp. Zen. And the Islamic poet Rumi, a Sufi mystic, is fantastic.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 5:33 PM on March 11, 2006

I have to wonder, what is it you're looking for in your faith? Is it just to feel spiritually uplifted, or do you want to join with a group of people, like at a church and do churchy things? Do you seek spiritually enlightenment for yourself, or do you want to be part of a community?

That is a good question. I do want to feel spiritually uplifted. I have been feeling very heavy-hearted lately. I just do not like all the negativity that seems to have overcome my life. I want to be able to turn somewhere to remind myself regularly that the small stuff does not matter sometimes. I have never been one that attended group spirituality type stuff, but maybe I need to!

Also, thanks for correcting my understanding of Agnosticism. Ironically, the real definition applies even more to my beliefs (at least the skeptic part of the belief). I have thought about Quaker meetings. Also, I am somewhat familiar with Buddhism as well.

What really sparked my whole spirituality search, I think, is the fact that I recently finished reading "Autobiography of a Yogi," in which a Hindu Yogi recounts tales of his journey into monastic life and all of the strange people along the way. The autobiography, although written by a Hindu guru, is so open-minded, it inspired me. I mean, throughout the account, the Yogi analogizes all religions to one another, especially espousing the type of view I laid out in my original question.

The Yogi holds all religions in such high regard, including Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Taoism, Jainism, etc., that it makes you wonder why anyone fights. He asserts that God manifests Himself in a way in which all people would understand in their own context. In other words, he does not believe there is a wrong religion out there. I really admire that viewpoint, because it is what I believe as well. However, I wonder whether I can join any church while still believing that there are other prophets, who are/were divinely inspired.

That is, I believe all those who believe in the God taught by their religion are not "damned," because they have not accepted the tenets of Christianity (or whatever faith may be the case). In other words, how do you agree with any religion that damns anyone who does not believe in it? It just does not make sense to me that people can believe that God is all-powerful and loving and without bounds, yet he cannot manifest himself in more ways than one, even though God may be one. Does this make any sense to anybody? Again, I ramble...
posted by orangeshoe at 6:33 PM on March 11, 2006

This is an something a friend of mine went through in college. He had pretty much the same background as you do and was confused about what Hinduism really was and how his parents reconciled it with going to Catholic school, celebrating Christmas etc. If I remember rightly his mother basically refused to answer specific questions, insisting that he had to figure it out for himself but told us that you could be Hindu and observe another religion at the same time as it was all one. I was fascinated by this response and it ties in to what you've said. He wasn't very happy that she wouldn't give him a straight answer about what he should do but I got the impression that was the point and that going through the questioning and seeking out answers that he could live with himself was the important thing to her from a spiritual point of view.
posted by fshgrl at 8:57 PM on March 11, 2006

You might consider looking "home," so to say, to your native spiritual tradition of Hinduism.

For a start, try reading the Bhagavad Gita (I can't vouch for this translation as I'm not a sanskrit scholar but it seems quite poetic), perhaps supplemented by a great Hindu saint/philosopher or two.
posted by shivohum at 9:10 PM on March 11, 2006

For instance, I believe in God. I believe that Jesus Christ was a prophet, and, indeed he was even the son of God. Yet, I also believe that there are many prophets who have found their way here to allow God to present Himself to people of all colors, religions (or faiths or whatever), ethnicities, etc. In other words, I believe that God can express Himself in different ways to different people, but there is just one God.

Doctrinally, this is essentially what Baha'is believe -- the Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, Krishna, etc., were messengers sent by God to give His teachings to humanity in different times and places.
posted by camcgee at 9:50 PM on March 11, 2006

Read up on Advaita Vedanta
posted by Gyan at 10:40 PM on March 11, 2006

Have you been to any church services of different faiths, recently?

If you're open and searching, it might be a good way to check it out. It's one thing to read up on, say, the Episcopals, it's another thing to go to an Episcopalian Mass. You get much more of an experience that way. So, I'd encourage to visit any faith traditions that even sound vaguely interesting - whether it be the Catholics, Episcopalians, Reform Jews, Mormons, Buddhists, Evangelicals, Unitarians, etc. Just attend, enjoy the experience, and talk to people afterwards. Even if seems like a bizarre choice, try it anyway. You never know what's going to 'click' until you stumble across it.

I went through a similar process (though on a much smaller scale), so you're not alone. If anything, I consider it one of the more vibrant aspects of living.
posted by spinifex23 at 11:32 PM on March 11, 2006

But I cannot reconcile any of my beliefs in a way that makes sense.

You might want to let this go. Religions seldom make sense by themselves, and they make even less sense in combination.

Relieved of this burden, you can feel free to pick and choose what comforts you from each religion, or just go freestyle and talk to god directly.

If you'd feel better doing this with a community, the Universalist-Unitarians are a good place to start. You might have to attend a few different churches before you find the one for you.
posted by tkolar at 11:46 PM on March 11, 2006

Orangeshoe, you are never going to find any religion that makes perfect sense because none of them do. I find the people who are happiest in religion belong to a group where they are comfortable and have people they enjoy around. In many ways, a lot of religions seem more social groups than anything else.

As far as your beliefs go, they are as valid as anyone else's and spirituality, in one form or another, is a lifelong quest, even for a jaded old atheist like myself. If there were a god, I think all he would ask is for us to live our lives well and try to be half-way decent people. Relax, enjoy the journey, both spiritual and otherwise. It is not a matter of being right, but being.
posted by phewbertie at 3:20 AM on March 12, 2006

orangeshoe, I'm going to answer this like you're seeking what's true about God, not just what makes you feel good. (If that's what you want, then you're the best judge of that.)

Anyway, to one extent or another, I've been Christian all my life. I've looked at other religions and philosophies, and found some good ideas there. My attempts to harmonize other religions with Christianity brought two results: a greater understanding of others and their ideas; and ultimately the understanding that to see true harmony in Christianity, you have to commit to it.

I'm not talking about reading 40 Days of Purpose, plastering a smile on your face, and clapping your hands until the dissenting voices quiet. I mean that the questions and stumbling blocks to real faith were hurdled only after I committed to have faith.

An engineering background and a logical approach force me to look for logical consistency in things. In Christianity I've found it, but happy-happy-joy-joy doesn't, in and of itself, do it for me. Studying the ancient nitty-gritty is what does it for me.

Harmony with other religions? That's a happy thought. Jesus just a prophet? That might wiggle-up some harmony. Sorry, but Jesus was either a madman, a liar, or God. If you're looking for truth, it's all or nothing with Him.

The situation with your parents is obviously of concern to you. If you commit yourself to Christ, (a) it sounds like your parents will be good sports and still love you, maybe even more so to see you growing and thinking for yourself, and (b) it can only compel you to continue your deep abiding love and respect for your parents.

Bottom line is that a lot of people want to be nice and make everyone happy. That's noble, but just saying "everyone is right" is the easy way out and can only lead to a fleeting, tenuous peace. The Jesus of the Bible and of history screams that He is the Way to the Father. If you commit yourself to Christ, have faith, dig deep, and learn all you can.

Though I think the specific dating of her story was skewed to make room for a more interesting novel, the Author's Notes in Anne Rice's Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt is great and contains a great list of books spanning liberal to conservative historical scholarship on Christ.

Another I'd mention is Wegner's Journey from Texts to Translations. It helped me to understand the progressive improvements that have been made over time in Biblical scholarship and translation.
posted by mumeishi at 9:45 AM on March 12, 2006

Mumeishi, with all due respect, while I understand where you are coming from, it is exactly what you say that prevents me from committing to Christ.

Bottom line is that a lot of people want to be nice and make everyone happy. That's noble, but just saying "everyone is right" is the easy way out and can only lead to a fleeting, tenuous peace. The Jesus of the Bible and of history screams that He is the Way to the Father. If you commit yourself to Christ, have faith, dig deep, and learn all you can.

I understand tihs fundamental tenet of Christianity. I do not mean to assume your background, but when your entire ancestry is of a peaceful eastern religion, like Hinduism, how can I honestly subscribe to a religion that would exclude my entire history? It is sad that the religion my parents observe is open-minded enough to accept all others.

But, lately, my parents and I have gotten into these pretty big fights over my possible conversion if I marry my Roman Catholic fiance (whom my parents by the way, adore). He was raised going to church every week and therefore wants to be married in a Catholic church. I never attended any religious temples, etc. growing up as I indicated before, but my parents insist that I have two ceremonies -- that is, a Hindu and a Catholic. Thus, they have NO problem with me marrying in a Catholic church, yet they would have a huge problem if I did not have traditional wedding.

I am not even sure if a priest would marry a couple knowing they were going to have a separate ceremony of another religion. And because my fiance cares more about the issue than I do, I figured I would concede to him. My parents hate the idea, which is just one more reason I am trying to find my faith so I can assert myself in situations like this (or at least know where even to begin).
posted by orangeshoe at 12:21 PM on March 12, 2006

I haven't read anything by him, so I can't say for sure, but I suspect you might be interested in some of the works of Joseph Campbell. For instance, Myths to Live By.

I think he takes sort of a holistic approach to this kind of stuff that may appeal to you.
posted by willnot at 1:35 PM on March 12, 2006

Hi again, orangeshoe. I suspect I'm (intentionally) answering your question from an angle that causes some trouble for you. You are, if I get this right, seeking a "religion" that allows harmony between your family's religion and your fiance's religion, and maybe fishing for a solution to the family turmoil. That, I can't solve, except to say that I feel for you and your fiance and your family. You all love each other, but there this one thing. The 800 pound gorilla in the corner.

In my mind, converting to Christianity would mean (as you no doubt already know) that you accept Christ as God, as your Savior, and work through the details of faith. Now, in Christianity itself, there's no dictate that you abandon tradition, family, your culture, or love for deep, abiding respect for your heritage. On the contrary, in your case it should compel you to NOT abandon it. The only thing you must abandon is doubt in Christ (not intellectual doubt, which inspires us to learn, but spiritual doubt). The trappings of Hinduism are probably prevalent in your family traditions. Unless you're worshipping some other god, or not trusting Christ and the Holy Spirit to steady you, then I think you should revel in your family history.

Jesus loves Hindus just as He loves Christians and Muslims and everyone else -- and commands us to do the same. But belief in Him means there are some realities that we must face. But, you're going to have to face difficult realities either way you go. You will either have to abandon your fiance and the Holy Spirit tugging on you, OR you will have to work hard to help your family understand that they aren't losing you and that you are following your heart with your eyes wide open. Both are tough, and you know which I think is right.

If you don't really care whether Jesus is God, then it doesn't matter what "religion" you choose. If you only want to find someone to marry you, just shop around and I have no doubt that you'll find a priest or pastor who will marry you.

Now, one other thing that may or may not be an issue. I'm a protestant who has points of disagreement with, but great respect for, the Catholic Church. From what I know, they will want you to be not just Christian, but the Roman Catholic flavor, which can be pretty exclusive and have it's own pretty obvious trappings. Some protestant denominations are similar (exclusive and obvious). All of that may be pretty tough for your family to swallow.

Is it possible for you and your fiance to attend a non-denominational protestant church, at least initially? Most recognize a simple profession of faith and some can be quite flexible with other traditions (not religions, but traditions :-). Perhaps you could get married in such a church? Maybe include your family's cultural traditions in the Christian ceremony? I know of similar situations where the couple married in a Christian ceremony, then had a semi-traditional Indian (or Japanese, or Chinese, or Mexican) ceremony either locally or "back home" (if their families were located abroad). This may go a long way to easing any instinctive cringing that your parents may have.

(BTW, have you read anything by Ravi Zacharias? If not, he may have some insight for you that I can't personally provide. I heard him speak once and was pretty impressed with his story.)

As I said, I feel for you. It can't be easy, and must be tearing you up inside.
posted by mumeishi at 2:25 PM on March 12, 2006

As others have pointed out, you are in no way agnostic if you can assert belief in god.

I would ask you to ask yourself why you have that belief. Ask it, and answer it with as much honesty and detail as you can. I believe doing that is the start of a path to enlightenment. But it may not be the sort of enlightenment you think you want...
posted by Decani at 4:33 PM on March 12, 2006

I don't understand how mumeishi can use, "if you're going to blindly accept religion, you have to stick to one" as a serious argument.

Why not toss out the entire equation? It seems like 'spiritual discoveries of oneself' like these only lead to people ultimately 'finding' some faux-deep 'truth' encapsulated by some meaningless astrological phrase. And then the person is even less likely to give up their spirituality, since it's perfectly ambiguous and can rest in any person's mind by just "knowing" that there's "something" "out there" "somewhere" that's "otherworldly."
posted by Lockeownzj00 at 9:27 AM on March 13, 2006

Lockeownzj00 -- while I think I understand what you might be saying, do you mind clarifying? I am interested in understanding your viewpoint, because I think you might be saying what it is I am feeling inside, something which I cannot articulate.
posted by orangeshoe at 9:33 PM on March 13, 2006