What's the email etiquette?

February 3, 2020 9:59 AM

I have to set up a phone interview with an MD for a piece I'm writing for a nonprofit. I addressed him formally (Dear Dr. Smith), and in his response he signed off informally (Thanks, Joe). How should I address him in the next email? I think normally I would just go with Joe, but the nonprofit's CEO is cc'd on the email, so want to be sure I'm being professional.
posted by gigondas to Writing & Language (12 answers total)

Personally, I would probably not address the next email by name. Responding with his first name seems informal in a relatively formal situation, but responding with his full name would be rejecting his bid for friendliness. You can easily lead into an email without an opening greeting when it's a reply to an ongoing conversation and that allows you to skip answering this question.
posted by jacquilynne at 10:07 AM on February 3, 2020 [6 favorites]

I would continue to use Dr. Smith. I feel like MDs are kind of a special case and it's not overly formal to continue to use Dr. Lastname. They are not going to sign off with their title, but even the doctors I have known for years (in a patient capacity) I've never switched to first names.
posted by JenMarie at 10:14 AM on February 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

My rule of thumb is to continue addressing someone formally until they personally and directly say "Please, call me Joe". The email signature could be automated for all you know.
posted by JoeZydeco at 10:23 AM on February 3, 2020 [10 favorites]

In this particular situation where you are essentially entering into a one-off business relationship with a doc, I'd keep using Dr. Smith.
posted by lazaruslong at 11:18 AM on February 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

This happens to me all the time, and I do what jacquilynne suggested: I avoid using their name/title again for as long as possible. Quite easy if it's over email, since the conversation is already running. If you have to have some kind of salutation, I'd say something like, "Good afternoon! I hope you've been well. Regarding the logistics..."
posted by whitewall at 11:35 AM on February 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

If I'm trying to avoid using someone's name where I'm not sure (and I have a lot of cross-cultural communication, so that comes up pretty often), I just use time of day - "Good Morning,..", "Good Afternoon,...", etc.

It seems to go over fine as far as I know, and a bit less abrupt than skipping the greeting altogether.
posted by mosst at 11:37 AM on February 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Sent off the email, using "Dr. Smith." I think either the avoidance strategy or going with Dr. Smith were the best bets, since it is, as lazaruslong noted, a one-off interaction and we're not building a relationship.
posted by gigondas at 11:43 AM on February 3, 2020

Coming in late, I'm in a fairly formal profession, to the point that I would never lead off with anything but a title, but signing your response with a first name is the functional equivalent of "Call me Joe," to my mind. Unless it's someone with a social status very very much higher than mine. If a doctor and I are in a professional, rather than therapeutic, relationship, I see no reason why we shouldn't be using reciprocity of address.
posted by praemunire at 12:35 PM on February 3, 2020 [4 favorites]

My former dentist said "call me firstname". When I called him "firstname" his hygienist was shocked! that I was being so informal. So, probably use Dr. Lastname unless he insists.
posted by H21 at 1:33 PM on February 3, 2020

On the one hand, I really doubt that among colleagues they use honorifics. You're sort of a peer but definitely an outsider so I would probably go with your choice. Some doctors of medicine and education really, really hate it when you leave it off. On the West Coast, I go with whatever their email signature says, if anything. Or if they have a given name ("Charles") but sign a nickname ("Chuck") then they clearly are inviting you to use it.

I've always been amused that when introduced one calls the queen "your majesty", but on subsequent addresses it is most correct to call her, simply, "ma'am". Even the queen doesn't have her honorific used after the initial greeting.
posted by wnissen at 4:39 PM on February 3, 2020

From my experience, lean to the formal in email discussion. I was tapped lightly on the head for using Mr instead of Prof in an email exchange regarding loosely related matters where I wasnt a student.

Madmen style business culture in USA often moves quickly to first name basis, but the underlying rule is that you have to be explicitly invited to "call me Saul".
posted by ovvl at 5:30 PM on February 3, 2020

Use the formal title, and please don’t avoid using names when sending email to more than one person.
posted by oceanjesse at 7:10 PM on February 3, 2020