Splitting time between two cities together?
October 25, 2019 7:29 AM Subscribe
My spouse is interviewing for a position based in New City, a place that we've always enjoyed visiting and have idly dreamed of moving to in the past. We're seriously entertaining the idea of keeping our home in Current City but also getting a place in New City and effectively becoming "working snowbirds". Have you split time between two places as a couple while still working, and if so, how did it work out?
We've paid off our house in Current City, which we love, and which is near family. I primarily do remote work, and my spouse will apparently have a high percentage of remote work in the position they're interviewing for.
Current City is northern with frigid winters, while New City is southern with hot summers, and both of us are attracted to the idea of spending winters in New City and summers in Current City, which at first glance would seem to give us the best of both worlds. With our current house paid off and a reasonable offer for the new position, we should be able to afford an apartment or small condo in New City. Flights are common between the cities, and it is possible to drive between the two cities in a single day if we both did driving shifts, although it would be a long day.
We've looked at the larger cost of living in New City and we're pretty confident we could make two places work economically, and we've both had prior professional positions that allowed us to work from home part-time. That said, the logistics of keeping two places seems a little daunting, and we wouldn't want upkeep on two places to dominate our life or our expenses. There's nobody we know in our peer group who has ever done anything like this.
Very interested in stories from others who have lived in two cities, especially with a spouse, and whether this is a pipe dream or something we could potentially pull off.
We've paid off our house in Current City, which we love, and which is near family. I primarily do remote work, and my spouse will apparently have a high percentage of remote work in the position they're interviewing for.
Current City is northern with frigid winters, while New City is southern with hot summers, and both of us are attracted to the idea of spending winters in New City and summers in Current City, which at first glance would seem to give us the best of both worlds. With our current house paid off and a reasonable offer for the new position, we should be able to afford an apartment or small condo in New City. Flights are common between the cities, and it is possible to drive between the two cities in a single day if we both did driving shifts, although it would be a long day.
We've looked at the larger cost of living in New City and we're pretty confident we could make two places work economically, and we've both had prior professional positions that allowed us to work from home part-time. That said, the logistics of keeping two places seems a little daunting, and we wouldn't want upkeep on two places to dominate our life or our expenses. There's nobody we know in our peer group who has ever done anything like this.
Very interested in stories from others who have lived in two cities, especially with a spouse, and whether this is a pipe dream or something we could potentially pull off.
It partially depends on how much connection you want with people other than each other. If you're gone for months at a time from each location, you may find it hard to maintain solid friendships in either location.
posted by Candleman at 8:07 AM on October 25, 2019
posted by Candleman at 8:07 AM on October 25, 2019
Well, if you're renting in New City, you should be able to find a place that has most upkeep done by the building (no mowing, roofing, etc.) It would be pretty trivial to hire someone to check in once a week and make sure there were no leaks in the ceiling and no one had broken in.
Old City, where you already own a house, might be harder, since you'd be gone all winter (when upkeep is most needed) and only back for the summers. One thing that popped into my mind is that here in Boston, you could probably rent a house for just the school year--grad students, visiting professors, etc. That's one way to keep the house lived in and tended to when you're not there.
posted by gideonfrog at 8:11 AM on October 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
Old City, where you already own a house, might be harder, since you'd be gone all winter (when upkeep is most needed) and only back for the summers. One thing that popped into my mind is that here in Boston, you could probably rent a house for just the school year--grad students, visiting professors, etc. That's one way to keep the house lived in and tended to when you're not there.
posted by gideonfrog at 8:11 AM on October 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
I'd look into whether New City has month-to-month furnished rentals. If it's a city where people travel frequently to do consulting work, or nursing, or vacations, it might be an option. This way, you don't have to worry about furnishing a place or leaving a yearly rental empty for half the year.
You could do the same with your place in Current City when you're not there if there's a market for it.
posted by vivzan at 10:36 AM on October 25, 2019
You could do the same with your place in Current City when you're not there if there's a market for it.
posted by vivzan at 10:36 AM on October 25, 2019
Were expats with a house we’re renting in one city and own a house in my husbands home country. It’s an exhausting 9 hour door to door trip... and it’s been more work than we expected. The winter upkeep, clearing moss, raking leaves, garden work... it’s gotten over grown. We got whacked with a big roof repair of 5000 euros in a storm this last winter- luckily we were already here when it happened. The list goes on. It’s more challenging than we anticipated.
posted by catspajammies at 10:54 AM on October 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by catspajammies at 10:54 AM on October 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
Oh, and doctors appointments and medical tests are a pain... you need a doctor in both places, if you don’t feel good and they want to do a test, or ongoing tests then it’s stressful if you’ve made plans to be at the other place, even if you can work either place then cancelling a trip means you still have to cancel your plane ticket. You have to plan out a lot of your travel plans far in advance to get the best deal on plane tickets. This is often before you know of stuff you might want to participate in (for example a friends birthday party, or a comedian is in big city you want to see) I realize you might have plenty of money, but nobody likes to throw 400 bucks out the window Willy nilly every month or two.
posted by catspajammies at 11:53 AM on October 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by catspajammies at 11:53 AM on October 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
God, sorry, one final thought. Socially it can be a little isolating... it’s a little uncomfortable when you’re meeting people and they start asking you questions... a lot of people can’t afford one house- and here you are taking up TWO???? We were constantly asked when we’d be back living full time, why we aren’t renting it out, what kind of job my husband has... when are we going or coming? a lot of personal questions really... my husband is extremely private so this bothers him A LOT. I’m not that way so it doesn’t bother me.
posted by catspajammies at 12:03 PM on October 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by catspajammies at 12:03 PM on October 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
Very common in northern climates. You can either winterize your house conpletely or, better option, semi-winterize it and hire a service to come by once a week and water the plants and make sure the heat is working. Downside is you cant easily come up for a weekend in the winter as the water is off, etx.
Renting or house sitting is more of a pain than its worth unless you luck into a good situation.
The other option is to sell the house and have two condos and very little maintenance.
posted by fshgrl at 12:43 PM on October 25, 2019
Renting or house sitting is more of a pain than its worth unless you luck into a good situation.
The other option is to sell the house and have two condos and very little maintenance.
posted by fshgrl at 12:43 PM on October 25, 2019
I assume you'd have mentioned them if you had them, but this is very difficult to do with children.
It sounds like you're thinking about switching cities only a couple of times a year. But if you're thinking about traveling back and forth more regularly, you should think about the environmental impact of what you're proposing.
posted by caek at 12:56 PM on October 25, 2019
It sounds like you're thinking about switching cities only a couple of times a year. But if you're thinking about traveling back and forth more regularly, you should think about the environmental impact of what you're proposing.
posted by caek at 12:56 PM on October 25, 2019
Lots of valid points already. I would just add that jobs and presence requirements can evolve over time. Your husband may be required to be in new city more/at different times than you anticipate at the moment. That may result in more travel back and forth than you are anticipating or in more time apart.
A lot of people struggle to imagine that kind of lifestyle so you will find a lot of people who can’t relate and won’t want to maintain close friendships with people who will be gone for x months a year.
If you are members of any clubs/societies/community groups consider if you can/want to continue to be involved. If you can actually limit moves back and forth to align with seasons that may be easier, but the lifestyle can make it difficult to commit to anything that requires some kind of regular participation.
posted by koahiatamadl at 1:22 PM on October 25, 2019
A lot of people struggle to imagine that kind of lifestyle so you will find a lot of people who can’t relate and won’t want to maintain close friendships with people who will be gone for x months a year.
If you are members of any clubs/societies/community groups consider if you can/want to continue to be involved. If you can actually limit moves back and forth to align with seasons that may be easier, but the lifestyle can make it difficult to commit to anything that requires some kind of regular participation.
posted by koahiatamadl at 1:22 PM on October 25, 2019
My spouse and I did this many years ago, and my main advice is that New City should be a condo. That's what we did, even though if you had asked us a few years earlier, we would have scoffed at the idea.
So, it turns out, condos are not always that bad? You pay to have someone take care of the property, major "surprise" expenses like leaky roofs or plumbing are either covered by the association or are fairly rare (assuming the former owner took care of the place).
We were also surprised by the social aspect of it, as a couple we lean heavily toward the introverted side, but we met some really nice and trustworthy people, and the community was more diverse than we expected.
Having said all that, we kinda lucked into this particular situation, the place we found was considered to be a "really good" community, but we didn't know that at the time. The monthly fees were consistent and didn't jump up dramatically.
If you end up going the condo route, here's what we learned, again, by accident: some states require the members of the condo board to be residents, some do not. Try to find a find a place where it is required, then schedule an interview with the president and get a sense of how they run the place: are they "hands on" or "hands off", ask them to introduce you to people in the community and try to get a read on the community's vibe. Do they have a high standard for letting people maintain their privacy and be anti-social if they want to? Etc.
As far as your other house goes, you will need to factor in expenses like a security system, or a monitoring system for broken pipes, heaters etc. Or at the very least, someone you trust (or pay) to check on the place weekly. In our case we had a trusted house-sitter, so we didn't have any issues.
posted by jeremias at 2:50 PM on October 25, 2019
So, it turns out, condos are not always that bad? You pay to have someone take care of the property, major "surprise" expenses like leaky roofs or plumbing are either covered by the association or are fairly rare (assuming the former owner took care of the place).
We were also surprised by the social aspect of it, as a couple we lean heavily toward the introverted side, but we met some really nice and trustworthy people, and the community was more diverse than we expected.
Having said all that, we kinda lucked into this particular situation, the place we found was considered to be a "really good" community, but we didn't know that at the time. The monthly fees were consistent and didn't jump up dramatically.
If you end up going the condo route, here's what we learned, again, by accident: some states require the members of the condo board to be residents, some do not. Try to find a find a place where it is required, then schedule an interview with the president and get a sense of how they run the place: are they "hands on" or "hands off", ask them to introduce you to people in the community and try to get a read on the community's vibe. Do they have a high standard for letting people maintain their privacy and be anti-social if they want to? Etc.
As far as your other house goes, you will need to factor in expenses like a security system, or a monitoring system for broken pipes, heaters etc. Or at the very least, someone you trust (or pay) to check on the place weekly. In our case we had a trusted house-sitter, so we didn't have any issues.
posted by jeremias at 2:50 PM on October 25, 2019
We live full-time in a summer resort area where about 80% of our neighbors are snowbirds. We had this exact conversation with them last summer at one of our neighborhood gatherings. Their comments ran along the line of "You did it right - living where you want to recreate instead of owning and maintaining two homes. We spend all our time on traveling back and forth and on upkeep, no matter which home we're in." Their comments confirmed that the thought process we went through when considering retirement and where we wanted to live was, although not the most common choice among our peer group, the correct one for us.
posted by summerstorm at 12:13 PM on October 26, 2019
posted by summerstorm at 12:13 PM on October 26, 2019
This thread is closed to new comments.
If you are talking about being gone for months at a time from each location, you might need locals that can check in on your property or you will be reopening the property each time you come home.
Do both states have state income tax? that will be something to be aware of, although it is the working in the state not the living in the state that counts.
posted by domino at 7:51 AM on October 25, 2019 [2 favorites]