Nursing home time.

August 7, 2019 1:10 PM

An elderly relative with dementia has had a rapid decline, and can no longer be cared for by their spouse. How do we go about finding a nursing home?

Relative has Stage 6 dementia caused by multiple strokes. They need help with eating, personal care, walking, and they're at risk of falling. They are confused, agitated, and unable to remember why they are currently in the hospital.

The family has some preferences for a facility that:
Is located in or near Etobicoke (west side of Toronto)
Has racially diverse patients, especially with Caribbean or African people.

Spouse may need financial help and definitely needs logistical help.
Complication: spouse is also showing mild cognitive impairment (perhaps at Stage 3 dementia), is defensive, controlling, and difficult to manage, and wants to control the situation, without awareness that they are out of their depth.

Is there a service we can call to help us get an appropriate placement?

posted by nouvelle-personne to Health & Fitness (4 answers total)

Have you spoken to 311? If your relative is in hospital, there will be a social worker who can assist as well. My father was a resident at Fairfield Manor on Fairfield Avenue in Etobicoke but did not have Alzheimer's. His partner did, and was placed in a specialist Alzheimer's unit but I forget which hospital. Both placements came via social services and both were paid for from pensions.
posted by DarlingBri at 1:56 PM on August 7, 2019

Is your relative in a hospital or rehab unit? When I could no longer care for my dad at home and had to put him in a board and care home, I got help from the discharge planner at the rehab/nursing home where he was convalescing (broken hip). YMMdefinitelyV on discharge planners; I got very lucky with a nice and helpful one but some are burnt out and don't care anymore and just want to get rid of the patient as quickly and cheaply as possible. But I lucked into a good one. Being courteous, but firm, seems to help (firm as in don't put up with your relative being shoved out the door ASAP; you want help, not fobbing-off.)

Helpful discharge planner gave me a list of facilities and I went and checked them out. Be sure and tell the discharge planner that your relative needs to be in a racially diverse place, and any other requirements.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 4:34 PM on August 7, 2019

I haven't lived in Ontario for some time, so I'm not 100% on which LHIN (Local Health Integration Network) your relative falls in, since I think Etobicoke proper falls in the Toronto Central LHIN and North Etobicoke falls in the Central West LHIN. However, either way, you want to get your relative and their spouse connected with a care coordinator from their LHIN who can carry out assessments to get them referred to whatever home and community care they may need.

If your relative is still in the hospital, the hospital social worker should be able to get the ball rolling with a care coordinator as part of the discharge planning. However, you can also call the LHIN directly about this at 310-2222 (that's the Toronto Central number, but they should be able to redirect you if your relative is outside their catchment).

You may also want to contact the Concerned Friends of Ontario Citizens in Care Facilities, which is a volunteer organization that can help people choose a long-term care facility based on individual needs. They can be reached by phone at 416 489-0146 or toll-free at 1 855 489-0146.
posted by northernish at 9:04 PM on August 7, 2019 [1 favorite]

I was also going to suggest the LHIN. You can also call them and ask to speak to the case manager for Long Term Care Placement. Good luck!
posted by Dressed to Kill at 5:38 AM on August 8, 2019