What to consider when moving to the suburbs?
July 21, 2019 2:28 PM Subscribe
We have lived in a city neighbourhood I love for 25 years. Now we’re looking at moving to a suburb. What factors should I consider to make this a positive thing?
Our daughter is disabled and our current 100 year old house is not adaptable to her needs for a variety of reasons. Houses that would be suitable in our neighbourhood are very few and don’t come on the market at prices we could afford. So, we’re looking further afield. We’ve found a house in a suburb that we like and which would be awesome from an accessibility perspective. However, I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the thought of leaving a neighbourhood I’ve lived in for 25 years which has countless cool places within walking distance for a suburb with very little in the way of anything nearby.
Knowing that it’s the right thing to do for my daughter is the main motivator, but even before we put an offer in for the suburb house I’m feeling uncertain about leaving the neighbourhood.
How have you worked with such a transition in the past? What made it easier for you?
More details: current neighbourhood has bakeries, a theatre, coffee shops, funky stores, bike shops, a market, parks, and my local bar where they know my name and beer preferences, and have monthly gatherings I go to. A large grocery store is nearby. My commute to work is a 5 minute drive or easy 10 minute bus. It’s 1km from the river, bike paths and green space. Downtown is easy to get to driving or on transit.
Suburb is about a 20-25 minute drive west (away from downtown) so add that to my commute. Bus transit would be more difficult as service is limited. We may have to look at getting a second car. It’s very close to the river, bike paths and green space which is great. There’s a park nearby for walking the dog. The only things within walking distance (we drove around the area this afternoon) are a small convenience store and a gas station which has a small diner. Groceries and other services are all at least a 15 minute drive away. I realize that may not be much compared to some suburbs but it would be a big change for me. (Yes we could look to buy further out nearer the grocery stores and other services but suitable houses are very limited there too and we’d rather have a shorter commute.)
Our daughter is disabled and our current 100 year old house is not adaptable to her needs for a variety of reasons. Houses that would be suitable in our neighbourhood are very few and don’t come on the market at prices we could afford. So, we’re looking further afield. We’ve found a house in a suburb that we like and which would be awesome from an accessibility perspective. However, I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the thought of leaving a neighbourhood I’ve lived in for 25 years which has countless cool places within walking distance for a suburb with very little in the way of anything nearby.
Knowing that it’s the right thing to do for my daughter is the main motivator, but even before we put an offer in for the suburb house I’m feeling uncertain about leaving the neighbourhood.
How have you worked with such a transition in the past? What made it easier for you?
More details: current neighbourhood has bakeries, a theatre, coffee shops, funky stores, bike shops, a market, parks, and my local bar where they know my name and beer preferences, and have monthly gatherings I go to. A large grocery store is nearby. My commute to work is a 5 minute drive or easy 10 minute bus. It’s 1km from the river, bike paths and green space. Downtown is easy to get to driving or on transit.
Suburb is about a 20-25 minute drive west (away from downtown) so add that to my commute. Bus transit would be more difficult as service is limited. We may have to look at getting a second car. It’s very close to the river, bike paths and green space which is great. There’s a park nearby for walking the dog. The only things within walking distance (we drove around the area this afternoon) are a small convenience store and a gas station which has a small diner. Groceries and other services are all at least a 15 minute drive away. I realize that may not be much compared to some suburbs but it would be a big change for me. (Yes we could look to buy further out nearer the grocery stores and other services but suitable houses are very limited there too and we’d rather have a shorter commute.)
When it’s not oppressively hot, how many people are walking around? (Can be checked early in the morning) How long are the driveways? Do you think you’d get trick-or-treaters? Having a good rapport with neighbors is easier when it’s easy to connect, and that can help with redirecting social hunger when convenience marketing becomes less frequent. You will find your new favorite places, and as a new regular there, you will make new connections and have more awesome people to enjoy. You’re close enough to stop in your old haunts for nostalgia’s sake.
How pressing is the move? Could you hold out for something even better?
Also have you seen what your state/county office on aging or disability might do to help people find accessible housing. I hope real estate databases cover this aspect.
posted by childofTethys at 6:44 PM on July 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
How pressing is the move? Could you hold out for something even better?
Also have you seen what your state/county office on aging or disability might do to help people find accessible housing. I hope real estate databases cover this aspect.
posted by childofTethys at 6:44 PM on July 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
Suburbs are often quite different from each other, and suburban communities that have grown around what were previously more isolated small towns often still have a core of stores, restaurants, post office, bars, pizza shops, etc. and the desire for "city living" has injected new energy into them. They are becoming very desirable. There is often newer, accessible housing being built in nearby areas to take advantage of the town's commercial and social core. They are also trying to figure out transit for older and handicapped residents, but this is usually highly locally variable.
Suburbs that were created from what was previously farmland are often based around maintaining distance from neighbors and depend on everyone driving everywhere, which makes getting a cup of coffee or a library book much more of a planned event, rather than a serendipitous pleasure. Is it possible to widen your search to include other suburbs where you might find a more familiar lifestyle? You might also find properties that were previously modified for less mobile elders might be appropriate for your daughter.
I've lived in the center of a large city for most of my life, with about a 10 year suburban detour when our children were in grade school. It wasn't awful, exactly, but we were never really happy there, and as soon as we could manage it financially we moved back into the city. We are currently considering what to do about our own older years, when we may be less mobile.
posted by citygirl at 8:08 PM on July 21, 2019 [2 favorites]
Suburbs that were created from what was previously farmland are often based around maintaining distance from neighbors and depend on everyone driving everywhere, which makes getting a cup of coffee or a library book much more of a planned event, rather than a serendipitous pleasure. Is it possible to widen your search to include other suburbs where you might find a more familiar lifestyle? You might also find properties that were previously modified for less mobile elders might be appropriate for your daughter.
I've lived in the center of a large city for most of my life, with about a 10 year suburban detour when our children were in grade school. It wasn't awful, exactly, but we were never really happy there, and as soon as we could manage it financially we moved back into the city. We are currently considering what to do about our own older years, when we may be less mobile.
posted by citygirl at 8:08 PM on July 21, 2019 [2 favorites]
I would struggle in the say way that you are. But, you like the suburb. You like the house. Green space and a convenience store are in walking distance so you can get out and enjoy nature, and you can pick up the milk you forgot.
We moved from somewhere that was 2 minutes drive to a huge new grocery store, to somewhere that's 10-15 minutes drive from a shabby grocery store. We get it delivered now. I will never willingly switch back to in-store shopping. We save money because we're don't make impulse buys and it takes up less time from our lives.
I think the key thing is working out how you will get to spend time with friends, or make new friends, in your new location.
posted by plonkee at 7:03 AM on July 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
We moved from somewhere that was 2 minutes drive to a huge new grocery store, to somewhere that's 10-15 minutes drive from a shabby grocery store. We get it delivered now. I will never willingly switch back to in-store shopping. We save money because we're don't make impulse buys and it takes up less time from our lives.
I think the key thing is working out how you will get to spend time with friends, or make new friends, in your new location.
posted by plonkee at 7:03 AM on July 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
citygirl is right - view this as temporary. Time really does fly. Try to buy a house that you'll also be able to easily sell, when the time comes.
Also - make sure you get something in the win-side of the equation for yourself. Everyone in the family should get at least one win.
I am about to move for the sake of a child (although we'll be renting), and I've started making a list of the things I gain in the move (even if they're humble gains.) Everything is a trade-off, but my most important thing is that there be plenty of light. Bonus points for being able to watch the weather change -- for us, we're moving back into the city, and that likely means a high rise. I don't need the best view, but I want to be able to watch weather fronts come in. This is because we owned a house for 10 years that was very dark. Because of the city neighborhood we lived in, and the closeness of the neighbor's house, we kept the curtains closed most of the time. NEVER. AGAIN.
posted by vitabellosi at 9:55 AM on July 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
Also - make sure you get something in the win-side of the equation for yourself. Everyone in the family should get at least one win.
I am about to move for the sake of a child (although we'll be renting), and I've started making a list of the things I gain in the move (even if they're humble gains.) Everything is a trade-off, but my most important thing is that there be plenty of light. Bonus points for being able to watch the weather change -- for us, we're moving back into the city, and that likely means a high rise. I don't need the best view, but I want to be able to watch weather fronts come in. This is because we owned a house for 10 years that was very dark. Because of the city neighborhood we lived in, and the closeness of the neighbor's house, we kept the curtains closed most of the time. NEVER. AGAIN.
posted by vitabellosi at 9:55 AM on July 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
For us, the equation was simply "we want [x] rooms for $[y], which = certain neighborhoods," which is what I imagine motivates many people. Some also include "we want [z] size yard" for family play space, or privacy/ buffer.
(More) yard space means the opportunity for a garden, trees, landscaping, pets, yard games, having more friends and family over for a party or spend the night (depending on how much indoor space you have). You could grow (more) fresh produce, plant fruit trees, get flowers and trees that change with seasons, walk barefoot in your own lawn, play croquet or badminton, or throw a toy for a doggo.
Having the option to get a bigger house means more space for projects, hanging art, (more) rooms for specific purposes. You could brew your own beer, get a piano, have a music room, movie room, and/or reading room.
If you walk, run, or bike in your neighborhood, you'll likely see the same folks after a while, so you might make new friends, or casual acquaintances.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:23 AM on July 22, 2019 [3 favorites]
(More) yard space means the opportunity for a garden, trees, landscaping, pets, yard games, having more friends and family over for a party or spend the night (depending on how much indoor space you have). You could grow (more) fresh produce, plant fruit trees, get flowers and trees that change with seasons, walk barefoot in your own lawn, play croquet or badminton, or throw a toy for a doggo.
Having the option to get a bigger house means more space for projects, hanging art, (more) rooms for specific purposes. You could brew your own beer, get a piano, have a music room, movie room, and/or reading room.
If you walk, run, or bike in your neighborhood, you'll likely see the same folks after a while, so you might make new friends, or casual acquaintances.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:23 AM on July 22, 2019 [3 favorites]
Are you commuting into the rising and setting sunlight?
Ask the neighbors. Do not wait until you put down money. Find out from them what they like and dislike about the neighborhood and whether they would buy in a different part of the community.
This was a major aspect of finding our home.
And neighborhoods change. Don't assume that your current location will still suit your needs ten years from now.
Good luck!
posted by TrishaU at 11:38 AM on July 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
Ask the neighbors. Do not wait until you put down money. Find out from them what they like and dislike about the neighborhood and whether they would buy in a different part of the community.
This was a major aspect of finding our home.
And neighborhoods change. Don't assume that your current location will still suit your needs ten years from now.
Good luck!
posted by TrishaU at 11:38 AM on July 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
Spent 40 years living in a large, East Coast city and was moved to a mid-sized Midwestern city a few years ago. We settled on a house in a suburb roughly 20 minutes from the city core. It continues to be a bit of a culture shock.
Plusses: Green space, walking trails, a small lake in our subdivision, a general sense of safety that was lacking in my urban neighborhood, quiet at night, great schools for our littles, more house for our dollar
Minuses: Suburban planning makes the local grocery impossible to walk to turning what would be a 5 minute walk into a 12 minute drive, we don't really know our neighbors as they tend to keep to themselves, yardwork, purchase of a second car to accommodate a much longer commute, have to drive 15 minutes for signs of life like a non-chain restaurant or coffee shop
Our kids love it here. They have room to play and love their schools. We, on the other hand, are in a holding pattern until they go to college. After that, it will either be retirement or relocation to a city. We miss it a lot.
posted by extraheavymarcellus at 2:09 PM on July 22, 2019
Plusses: Green space, walking trails, a small lake in our subdivision, a general sense of safety that was lacking in my urban neighborhood, quiet at night, great schools for our littles, more house for our dollar
Minuses: Suburban planning makes the local grocery impossible to walk to turning what would be a 5 minute walk into a 12 minute drive, we don't really know our neighbors as they tend to keep to themselves, yardwork, purchase of a second car to accommodate a much longer commute, have to drive 15 minutes for signs of life like a non-chain restaurant or coffee shop
Our kids love it here. They have room to play and love their schools. We, on the other hand, are in a holding pattern until they go to college. After that, it will either be retirement or relocation to a city. We miss it a lot.
posted by extraheavymarcellus at 2:09 PM on July 22, 2019
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Could getting groceries delivered be an option for you? Sometimes larger supermarkets offer this kind of service. Alternatively, there might be a more independent grocery delivery service available to you, or a CSA.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 4:40 PM on July 21, 2019