Survival Kit: Moving with Small Children Edition

July 16, 2019 8:09 AM

Am helping my kid move her two young children to their new home. We are going via train, grandkids are 2 and 4. Would love tips on helping her and the kids survive and manage the 4 days before the 4-hour train trip and the 3 days after we arrive.

I am helping my over the course of one week. The help is simply being the best possible grandma, not moving boxes. The 4-year-old is intense, probably neuroatypical (and don't @ me please, so am I, so are others in the family). I have activity books, etc. but am looking for tips, tricks, strategies for helping the tots and my kid ease into a completely new town with lots of woods nearby (yay) but no structure to speak of (it is summer!). Easy, age-appropriate ways to help keep the kidlets happy, ideas for a reasonable schedule, etc. would be most welcome.

The kids have access to an iPad; what I want is ideas that keep them happy away from the screen for realistic chunks of time (15 minutes? 20 minutes?). Also a structure we can actually use that is not overly rigid but still gives us a foundation for each day, a foundation I can communicate to the little ones. Thanks, hive mind!

posted by Bella Donna to Grab Bag (7 answers total)

With lots of woods nearby, I think exploration would be a great focus/structure to work from. Like, "Today we're going to see what's down this path! What do you think we'll find?" Then you could take pictures or keep a list of the cool things you saw that the 4-year-old can tell their parents about. Bring some snacks and maybe a picnic blanket and this should be good for a couple hours at a stretch. Maybe bring a carrier or something for the 2-year-old if your daughter has one and you can use it without straining your back/etc.
posted by number9dream at 8:40 AM on July 16, 2019

It's so fun at that age to make collections and sort things! You can collect rocks, flowers, leaves (being very careful of things like poison ivy), fallen bark, twigs, nuts, etc. Here's a link showing what a 2.5 year old collected for reference. You can sort by type, then by color, size, etc. It is also fun to glue natural materials to paper in interesting ways- plus glue is like forbidden fun but pretty easy clean-up if you do it outside. If you need something fast sidewalk chalk and bubbles are fun for a short break.
posted by Mouse Army at 8:53 AM on July 16, 2019 [4 favorites]

Do the kids already have screen time limits? I would talk to your daughter and see what they're already used to. That way, even if you do something different, you'll know what they're used to and can say, "yes, you usually get the iPad in the morning but this morning is different since I'm here and we can go out and explore!"

Is it hot where you are? If so, anything water related will probably keep them busy for a long time.

Here are some other ideas:
- plant something at the new house (in the garden or in pots) (this could look like going to buy all the supplies as one activity and then coming home to plant, etc as another - you could even paint the pots on one day and plant the next)
- help them get to know their new room(s) - maybe they could do some artwork before the move/train ride and hang it up in their room when they get there
- maybe help make snacks for the other grownups who are helping with the move. they'd feel important and like they're contributing
posted by dawkins_7 at 8:56 AM on July 16, 2019 [1 favorite]

My children were 1, 2 and 3 at the time we moved across the country. My mother came to help on the new end. She was a big help. Here is why. One, she was a familiar and comforting presence to the kids. So much change and newness and having someone to provide stability was huge. Two, she did lunch with them. We all had breakfast together, but then me and my (ex) wife went about working with the movers and unpacking. My mother made them lunch or took them out to lunch those first few days allowing us to get a lot done. Three, she was staying in a hotel nearby and took them there to nap. Four, my kids were pretty happy in the car listening to either Raffi or some kids books on tape so she would take them exploring in the car and stop at the grocery or some store that would kill 20-30 minutes.

Five, she took them to the park to play on the swings and other playground equipment. She also took them fishing at the same park that had a pond. Walmart had $10 fishing poles. It ended up being a toss bread at the pond and watch the fish eat fishing trip, but it took time! Six, one afternoon, she took them to a movie. Seven, she would tell them stories about their Dad (Me!) when he was there age. Lots of poop and puke stories. They would laugh and laugh. Eight, she would engage them on their level. She would ask them questions. What is your favorite color? I am not sure how she did it, but up until the day she died, she could have 20-30 minute conversations with each of my kids from the age of 1 through the preteens and teenage years and into their college years. Years when I could only get a grunt out of them, she would talk to them on the phone for a long time.

Nine, while the one place she found was closed, she was going to take them to one of those indoor playground places with trampolines, etc. A tired grandchild is a happy grandmother as she always said. Ten, they made blanket forts. Eleven, never underestimate the power of TV to keep a kid occupied.

We as parents were very good about keeping our children to a schedule including naps, etc. She told the kids it was special time with grandma and they could do things like have milkshake with their lunch and could stay up 20 minutes later, etc. Sort of made it like they were on a special adventure.
posted by AugustWest at 9:54 AM on July 16, 2019 [12 favorites]

I'm assuming, with all the moving, the parents will want them to be out of the house(s) as much as possible. So weather will be an important factor in what you can do. If it is very hot, they will struggle being outside all day, even in the woods. So scope out some good indoor activities too before you go.

Suggestions to google include commercial indoor play places, the local library, a mall with an indoor playground, or (if you're really stumped and your town has public transport) riding around on the air-conditioned bus.*

Find out from their parents what their 'best' and 'worst' times of day are. Our kid is great first thing in the mornings but a grump in the afternoons, so we plan all major activities to start around 9am and be done by 11ish. This helps creating structure because the day is then: breakfast, big activity outside the house, lunch, nap, quiet activity, dinner and bedtime.

Don't be afraid of the screens. These are unusual stressful circumstances and a bit of flexibility will make your lives a hell of a lot easier. Especially when trapped in the train.

Also consider that most kids that age care more about having your undivided attention, than actual activities. As long as you are focused on and interacting with them 100%, it will be fine. Grabbing a bunch of toy cars and heading somewhere cool and shady is likely to be enough, as long as you're prepared to get down on your hands and knees and play too :-) Likewise, just walking around looking at things is fun, if you're happy to go very very slowly at the kids' pace, stop and look at everything they notice, and show enormous excited interest in the bugs/weird sticks/trash they find on the ground!

*not kidding: this is one of my 3 year old's favorite things.
posted by EllaEm at 10:03 AM on July 16, 2019

Something that has really helped some of the families I work with in terms of structure around moving is to take the time up front to get the kiddos' stuff into the new house and then set up their room(s) first thing so that they have a more familiar environment to go to as a downtime space. Gma could maybe help with that piece of it - so their sheets and blankies are on their beds, their toys are where they expect them to be, etc. It reduces the stress of the unknown for a lot of kids. Good luck!
posted by fairlynearlyready at 10:39 AM on July 16, 2019 [2 favorites]

I've moved with a 2 year old and I've moved with a 4 year old.

The 4 year old benefited from the book Moving Home from Usbourne books. The 2 year old didn't need it.

Either case, keeping things as similar and familiar as possible can help a lot.
I would absolutely bring their things -- bedding, favorite toys, hair brush, dolls/stuffies -- in a suitcase and get them set up with the familiarity as soon as humanly possible. Do not pack these in some sort of moving vehicle where they will be away from them for a long time and hard to find on the other end.
Order online all of their favorite foods and snacks and have them ready to go to put in the new house fridge/kitchen/pantry. Don't make an adult go to the store for this - have it all delivered. Also have plates and utensils and paper towels and stuff delivered in the same shipment.

If I had a grandma on hand for a move, I would ask her to remove the children from the new house as much as humanly possible and go do AWESOME STUFF with them all day while I unpacked and arranged the new home.
posted by k8t at 1:43 PM on July 16, 2019