"Oh, it has its Ups and Downs"
July 15, 2019 10:04 AM   Subscribe

Herr Duck is in need of elevator-related Dad-style jokes. Help!

Herr Duck is moonlighting as an usher for the Minnesota Twins this season. He sometimes gets assigned to Elevator Duty. Since the elevators go to all levels (stadium seating, service corridors, fancy suites, and the players clubhouse areas), each elevator gets a good old-fashioned Elevator Operator to keep things moving and to keep random people from accessing forbidden parts of the stadium.

He chats a lot with the elevator riders, and he gets asked "How do you like working here?" or "How's the night going here in the elevator?" dozens of times a day. He gives the same tired "Oh, it has its ups and downs" line over and over and is getting tired of it.

Mefites, do you have a good response to "how do you like being an elevator operator?" or "How's it going tonight [in the elevators]?" Dad-style jokes seem to go over well with both him and the crowd. Baseball-adjacent jokes would also be a hit *cough* with this crowd.

Thanks!
posted by Gray Duck to Human Relations (23 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
 
"My first time operating the elevator was an uplifting experience."

"Have you seen my elevator dance? It has no steps!"
posted by xingcat at 10:10 AM on July 15, 2019 [5 favorites]


An old-timey web experience: this elevator company has assembled a bunch of somewhat weak-sauce elevator jokes and puns.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 10:16 AM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]


However, "I'm really hittin' em out of the park tonight!" might go over OK, although I'm not sure what the difference is between an acceptable elevator ride and a really really successful one.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 10:17 AM on July 15, 2019


Did you hear about the guy years ago who used to flash little old ladies right here in this very elevator?

It was wrong on so many levels.
posted by mochapickle at 10:23 AM on July 15, 2019 [10 favorites]


People of a certain age would laugh if he did a bit of the Are You Being Served theme song, which is just an elevator operator talking e.g.

Ground floor: perfumery
Stationery and leather goods
Wigs and haberdashery
Kitchenware and food
Going up
posted by w0mbat at 10:43 AM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]


"how do you like being an elevator operator?"
"i kinda feel like my boss gave me the shaft"
posted by joecacti at 10:47 AM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]


"How's the night going here in the elevator?"

It's been fun on so many levels!
posted by MonkeyToes at 10:48 AM on July 15, 2019 [12 favorites]


"Hey man, I'm just tryin' to get a rise out of you."
"Hey man you don't push my buttons and I won't push yours"
"Hey everyone, let's get down tonight"
"Hey things are looking up / Hey lets get down to the bottom of things"
"Hey, we have to wait for a sec - half a dozen sumo wrestlers are on their way."
"They told me this was the VIP lounge but I'm starting to think I've been deceived."
"Not a bad office - I've got an open door policy." (door closes) "Never mind"

(when door opens up) "3rd floor: housewares, men's wear, werewolves, there wolves" and so on
posted by jquinby at 10:49 AM on July 15, 2019 [10 favorites]


Consider the weatherman.
posted by ouke at 10:57 AM on July 15, 2019


Not sure this will work, but I can't pass up the opportunity to relate basically my favorite joke ever:

Q: What's blue and goes up and down?
A: A blueberry in an elevator.
posted by holborne at 11:00 AM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]


"Otis! My man!"
posted by thelonius at 11:14 AM on July 15, 2019


"Well, you know what they say: when one door closes... it opens right up again!"
posted by teremala at 11:32 AM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]


How do you like working here?

(going up) It's an absolute high/Lifts my spirits no end
(going down) Oh you know, pretty down to earth/Very grounding

In both cases, I think you'd want to cast significant glances in the appropriate direction.
posted by trig at 11:45 AM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]


"So I've just heard about an amazing opportunity. I might be able to get you in on the ground floor."
posted by ODiV at 11:55 AM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]


"So I've just heard about an amazing opportunity. I might be able to get you in on the ground floor."

Wanna hear my elevator pitch?
posted by MonkeyToes at 12:15 PM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]


Recently rode the elevator in Coit Tower here in SF, as a new dad.

I asked the guy working the elevator if it was hard to get to the top in his line of work. I then offered him some empathy that it must be frustrating working with people always trying to push his buttons.

I then asked him if he ever had an arrogant criminal on his elevator. He said he wasn't sure and I told him if he did, it would have been a condescending con descending.

It was a long ride, so I had time to muse on how really his job is investigatory in nature. He just needs to focus on getting to the bottom of things.

A lot of ups and downs in his work...

there were others I'm sure, I have no shame
posted by allkindsoftime at 12:41 PM on July 15, 2019 [6 favorites]


What makes you grumble when it happens at home, but makes you scream when it happens in an elevator?

When the cable goes out.

I don't really recommend this joke as it may cause a feeling of tension in the room.
posted by aws17576 at 1:40 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]


It’s gotta be nice to have that kind of flexibility - beats workin’ 9 to 5 when you can get to all the floors
posted by mce at 1:42 PM on July 15, 2019


One word of caution: elevator jokes, like the stock market, can go up or down badly.

This chap did the old "first floor, ladies' lingerie" gag, quite innocently (so he says), and wishes he hadn't.
posted by MinPin at 1:59 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]


Did you hear that Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader?

Now she’s EllaVader.
posted by jenkinsEar at 2:09 PM on July 15, 2019 [3 favorites]


Doors keep opening for me

It pushes my buttons

I keep things from escalating

I try to keep things light

I try to rise to the occasion

Sometimes it lets me down

I'm not operating at my maximum capacity

I'm overcoming inertia

I keep my expectations up

It keeps my hopes up and my doubts down
posted by amtho at 3:27 PM on July 15, 2019 [3 favorites]


See this elevator sign that was allegedly found in the Smithsonian (I have my doubts).
posted by alex1965 at 8:07 PM on July 15, 2019


Did you know that an elevator is the best place to hide an elephant?
(wait 2 beats)
You've never seen an elephant in an elevator, have you? See how well it works?
posted by jquinby at 7:44 AM on July 16, 2019


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