Questions to share with a partner as a conversation starter, redux
May 19, 2019 12:40 PM
Many years ago my (now) wife put together a list of questions from Metafilter (perhaps this question) and other sources, printed them out, and cut them up into individual questions. I'd like to update our collection.
Since then when we're looking for something to talk about we pull some questions out of the bag and read them to each other as conversation starters. It works amazingly well, even some of the questions that seem inane or inapplicable at first glance have provoked interesting conversations.
We've gone through the current collection several times, so I'm turning to you folks to update it with some new ones.
Here are some examples pulled at random from the current collection:
* What's your favorite kind of rock and why?
* Which do you prefer, odd or even numbers?
* When and where have you felt the most uncomfortable being nude?
* There's a ship going to Mars, and you can go, but something physically changes in your body when you go, and you have to stay there for the rest of your life. Do you go?
* What do you think is at the edge/end of the universe?
* Which other culture would you choose to be born into?
* What is the most simple but life-changing advice you've been given?
* How would you complete this statement? In our marriage, I feel awkward when...
* Which of the places that you lived was your favorite?
* What's something that you have memorized? Why?
Since then when we're looking for something to talk about we pull some questions out of the bag and read them to each other as conversation starters. It works amazingly well, even some of the questions that seem inane or inapplicable at first glance have provoked interesting conversations.
We've gone through the current collection several times, so I'm turning to you folks to update it with some new ones.
Here are some examples pulled at random from the current collection:
* What's your favorite kind of rock and why?
* Which do you prefer, odd or even numbers?
* When and where have you felt the most uncomfortable being nude?
* There's a ship going to Mars, and you can go, but something physically changes in your body when you go, and you have to stay there for the rest of your life. Do you go?
* What do you think is at the edge/end of the universe?
* Which other culture would you choose to be born into?
* What is the most simple but life-changing advice you've been given?
* How would you complete this statement? In our marriage, I feel awkward when...
* Which of the places that you lived was your favorite?
* What's something that you have memorized? Why?
I love (most) "Would you rather..." questions as discussion starters!
- Would you rather swim in a pool of mayonnaise or ketchup?
- Would you rather have ten dogs and one cat or ten cats and one dog?
- Would you rather repeat elementary school or high school?
- Would you rather clean the bathroom or the kitchen?
- Etc.
posted by smorgasbord at 1:06 PM on May 19, 2019
- Would you rather swim in a pool of mayonnaise or ketchup?
- Would you rather have ten dogs and one cat or ten cats and one dog?
- Would you rather repeat elementary school or high school?
- Would you rather clean the bathroom or the kitchen?
- Etc.
posted by smorgasbord at 1:06 PM on May 19, 2019
*What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
*What was the first movie you remember seeing at a movie theater?
*Name all the different paycheck jobs you’ve had.
*Do you have any scars on your body? What are the stories behind them?
*What topics could you talk about for 30 minutes with no preparation?
*Are you more of a leader or more of a follower?
*What advice would you give your 18-year-old self?
posted by bookmammal at 1:12 PM on May 19, 2019
*What was the first movie you remember seeing at a movie theater?
*Name all the different paycheck jobs you’ve had.
*Do you have any scars on your body? What are the stories behind them?
*What topics could you talk about for 30 minutes with no preparation?
*Are you more of a leader or more of a follower?
*What advice would you give your 18-year-old self?
posted by bookmammal at 1:12 PM on May 19, 2019
There's a card deck called You Think You Know Me that gamifies this a little. The cards say things like "I know your biggest fear is _____" and you read it, fill in the blank, and your partner tells you if you're right. I've used them this way (without keeping any sort of score, just as conversation starters, because I don't do competition) but I've also used them to turn the card into a question to be answered by my partner: "What's your biggest fear?"
posted by rhiannonstone at 1:51 PM on May 19, 2019
posted by rhiannonstone at 1:51 PM on May 19, 2019
(Assuming parents are still alive) "If your mum/dad died tomorrow - would you have any regrets about what you did or didn't do or say to them?"
"What social class do you identify with, and how do you think that's affected you in life?"
"What do you consider your 3 biggest weaknesses / strengths?"
I like questions that go deep ;)
posted by beccyjoe at 2:03 PM on May 19, 2019
"What social class do you identify with, and how do you think that's affected you in life?"
"What do you consider your 3 biggest weaknesses / strengths?"
I like questions that go deep ;)
posted by beccyjoe at 2:03 PM on May 19, 2019
What was your luckiest day (not happiest or most achieved, but that day you felt great things were happening to you almost inexplicably and over and over again)? Your unluckiest?
The trickiest problem you ever solved, and how?
Fondest memory of an animal?
posted by sallybrown at 2:04 PM on May 19, 2019
The trickiest problem you ever solved, and how?
Fondest memory of an animal?
posted by sallybrown at 2:04 PM on May 19, 2019
This is not partner specific, I actually use this as a regular small talk I just met a person topic.
"What would be your eating contest food?"
It's a bit more complex than what's your favorite food, because it's something you gotta be able to eat a lot of and not get sick of.*
* For me it would be Indian buffet or mashed potatoes
(In this imaginary eating contest, speed doesn't matter as much, mostly because I don't eat very fast).
posted by spamandkimchi at 3:58 PM on May 19, 2019
"What would be your eating contest food?"
It's a bit more complex than what's your favorite food, because it's something you gotta be able to eat a lot of and not get sick of.*
* For me it would be Indian buffet or mashed potatoes
(In this imaginary eating contest, speed doesn't matter as much, mostly because I don't eat very fast).
posted by spamandkimchi at 3:58 PM on May 19, 2019
❤️ From the New York Times: The 36 Questions That Lead to Love
posted by maya at 11:38 PM on May 19, 2019
posted by maya at 11:38 PM on May 19, 2019
I am bookmarking this thread!
For the lazy or time-pressed (or those looking for gifts along these lines) I will add links to these two similar products I think are great: School of Life Conversation Cards and Richard Herring’s Book of Emergency Questions.
posted by archy at 12:19 AM on May 20, 2019
For the lazy or time-pressed (or those looking for gifts along these lines) I will add links to these two similar products I think are great: School of Life Conversation Cards and Richard Herring’s Book of Emergency Questions.
posted by archy at 12:19 AM on May 20, 2019
My husband and I love to choose nightly themes whenever we play what we like to call, rather humbly, “question game”.
For example, if the theme is “film”:
- What would be your role in a film crew (director, sound editor, cinematographer, gaffer, costume designer, craft services, camera operator, location scout, etc) and why?
- What movie would you like to see remade with actors who are all persons of color? Who would you choose to perform each of the characters?
- What book would you adapt for film, that has never been previously made into a movie?
- If you had an unlimited budget to produce a historical drama, what era/event would it be about?
Or if the theme is “art”:
- If you could pull an art heist of *one* work of art, which artwork would it be and how would you pull it off?
- You’re a sculptor who has been tasked to build a monument. It can be a monument to whatever or whomever you so desire. What or who do you choose? What does it look like?
posted by nightrecordings at 4:51 PM on May 20, 2019
For example, if the theme is “film”:
- What would be your role in a film crew (director, sound editor, cinematographer, gaffer, costume designer, craft services, camera operator, location scout, etc) and why?
- What movie would you like to see remade with actors who are all persons of color? Who would you choose to perform each of the characters?
- What book would you adapt for film, that has never been previously made into a movie?
- If you had an unlimited budget to produce a historical drama, what era/event would it be about?
Or if the theme is “art”:
- If you could pull an art heist of *one* work of art, which artwork would it be and how would you pull it off?
- You’re a sculptor who has been tasked to build a monument. It can be a monument to whatever or whomever you so desire. What or who do you choose? What does it look like?
posted by nightrecordings at 4:51 PM on May 20, 2019
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