Drastic change? Bipolar episode? Suicide concern?
An up-front disclosure: Not trying to substitute professional diagnosis by asking this question here. I did search and read the relevant postings from the past, and while there was lots of helpful information, I didn’t really see a response for my eventual question. Here we go:
I’m a 30 year old male, she’s 34. No kids. We’ve been together for 4 years in a serious, committed relationship that’s been, truthfully, about as good as it gets. Years ago, she was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder and it runs in her family. To date, there was only one prior episode that I witnessed and it happened when she tried switching to an alternate medication. It was a little confusing to me, but not too extreme and not all that hard to get past. What’s happening now, though, has blown my mind. I really can’t believe some of the things I’m hearing and seeing.
In recent months, her entire personality has changed. I’ve noticed that she has odd, interrupted sleep patterns. There are wild mood swings, going from elation to depression with no apparent reason. She’s clumsy and awkward, stumbling and dropping things. There are ever-changing flights of fancy where she’ll be totally enthralled with something new for a period of time, and then she loses interest just as fast. There seems to be a constant distraction all the time and it’s profoundly difficult to speak with her. It’s like she has a loss of self-awareness, bumping into people at stores, being inexplicably wide-eyed and talking in an unnecessarily loud voice much of the time. She blurts out some incredibly tactless statements when talking to anyone, whether or not she knows them. She used to be seriously into sewing, and just gave away all of her equipment and thousands of dollars worth of nice fabric to some random person. It was a lifelong hobby of hers. “Not interested anymore.” Our beautiful house here in the city that we’ve been tuning up; it’s all of a sudden “no good” and she doesn’t like it because there’s “bad energy.” Her close friends have noticed bits and pieces of this behavior too, even though she chooses to rarely see them anymore. “They don’t understand me.”
Then, there are the pets. I’m a genuine animal lover, and she certainly acted like she was one too. Our dogs and cats have all been rescued from horrible situations of abuse and neglect, and we’ve willingly spent gobs of time caring for them, ensuring that they’re healthy and happy. However now, she says she’s “sick of them” and “just wants them gone,” knowing full well that they’d likely be put down because of age and/or their physical handicaps. Let me reassure you that this *will not* happen. All of this is out of character to a degree that I can’t begin to describe. I’m thunderstruck.
She was always cool, calm and collected. Well spoken. Grounded. In control. She has a high-paying job and has worked hard to advance her career over the years, and I now have reason to suspect it might be in jeopardy because of some recent nonsense on her part.
I’ve tried broaching some of these subjects as respectfully and compassionately as I can, and I get nowhere. The reactions range from disinterest to white-hot rage to a manufactured arrogance that’s completely pathetic. It’s like I’m talking to her body with someone else’s mind in it. Her speech zig-zags all over the place and there isn’t a hint of rationality to much of what she says.
According to some of the bipolar-related text on Wiki, some of what she’s displaying falls under the category of either a manic , mixed or major depressive bipolar episode. She is taking her regular medications on the proper schedule, but I’m of the understanding that the requirements can change over time. Maybe that’s a factor here? She’ll have a glass of wine now and then, but nothing illegal/hardcore.
I’m not opposed to trying to work through this, but I am confused as hell and definitely at a loss for what to do next. This is really my main question here. What next? Wait it out a little bit and see if there’s a turn around? Get her in front of a professional a.s.a.p. at all cost? I’ve no idea. I’ve considered the famous cut ‘n’ run too, but I’d feel better if I gave it a real honest try before doing so.
Any insight you can share will be greatly appreciated, obviously. You’re welcome to use my email address if you’d rather not have your response displayed publicly. Thank you so much.
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posted by Pollomacho at 12:26 PM on February 24, 2006