Report Card Blues
November 27, 2018 8:10 AM Subscribe
DOT Jr. goes to magnet school. He's a certified smarty pants, with assessments at genius level, consistently high/honor roll grades, multiple student of the month awards, etc. His magnet program teacher (the same teacher he had last year as well) took around 10 weeks off for maternity leave (and had a happy, healthy baby! yay!) Last week, we got his report card for the first trimester of this year. In it, his extended-run substitute teacher praised him as a terrific student who does good work... and gave him a C and two F's.
This all seems due to ostensibly "missing" assignments. Our kid can be a bit scattershot, like most fourth graders, and I cannot say it is out of the realm of possibility that he missed something. But, looking over the list of these, I recognize several of them as things he and I worked hard on and most assuredly turned in, and on time at that.
We had not received any indication from his teacher that he was struggling in any way. (And again, her notes on his report card indicate he is doing great.) And it's not like she didn't know how to contact us. We got an email from her at one point noting that he was overly chatty during quiet work time. How does a teacher feel that "chatty" deserves a heads up, but "has gone from honor roll to failing multiple subjects" does not?
Interestingly, he has exactly one subject this teacher does not teach/grade for him, that is math... in which he received an A.
I wrote the substitute teacher an email and she said this:
What I am wondering is: how do I approach these meetings? I don't want to be unhinged parent of wrath, but I feel truly let down. Either our kid has a serious all-around problem about which nothing was done (which doesn't gibe with who we know him to be or how she describes him and his work), he is doing good work but isn't doing so hot at turning things in (not impossible, but DOT Jr. did mention a classmate who has had to turn in the same assignments multiple times to make sure she got credit) and no guidance/mentoring took place to correct this before it torched his grades, or the teacher is simply not tracking the work properly and it bit our kid in the butt.
(Gut feeling is it's mostly #3 with just enough of #2 thrown in to muddy the waters.)
And on a more immediate level, how do I help DOT Jr. tighten up on homework to make sure that he gets his grades up, no matter how disorganized his temporary teacher might or might not be? And how do I do this without torturing/putting the squeeze on a kid I'm not even convinced has done anything wrong?
This all seems due to ostensibly "missing" assignments. Our kid can be a bit scattershot, like most fourth graders, and I cannot say it is out of the realm of possibility that he missed something. But, looking over the list of these, I recognize several of them as things he and I worked hard on and most assuredly turned in, and on time at that.
We had not received any indication from his teacher that he was struggling in any way. (And again, her notes on his report card indicate he is doing great.) And it's not like she didn't know how to contact us. We got an email from her at one point noting that he was overly chatty during quiet work time. How does a teacher feel that "chatty" deserves a heads up, but "has gone from honor roll to failing multiple subjects" does not?
Interestingly, he has exactly one subject this teacher does not teach/grade for him, that is math... in which he received an A.
I wrote the substitute teacher an email and she said this:
I apologize for not notifying you earlier about missing assignments. I had given students extra time to turn in missing assignments and unfortunately, around the time they were due had a family emergency and was not in the classroom to verify what had and had not been turned in until the trimester was nearly over. I will make sure that I am on top of [DOT Jr]'s assignments and that we have clear communication about what is still missing so he can bring his grades up. Please let me know what time/day works for you so we can further discuss if necessary.I'm not particularly unclear on what my next steps should be. I'm going to arrange a time to talk to the teacher. I intend to meet with the principal as well to make sure our kid's status in magnet program isn't endangered from this and to voice my concerns about the situation. The real teacher for the class (who, for the record, is a magical fairy person from the Land of Unbelievably Perfect Teachers) will be back in less than three weeks and I know she can help him get right.
What I am wondering is: how do I approach these meetings? I don't want to be unhinged parent of wrath, but I feel truly let down. Either our kid has a serious all-around problem about which nothing was done (which doesn't gibe with who we know him to be or how she describes him and his work), he is doing good work but isn't doing so hot at turning things in (not impossible, but DOT Jr. did mention a classmate who has had to turn in the same assignments multiple times to make sure she got credit) and no guidance/mentoring took place to correct this before it torched his grades, or the teacher is simply not tracking the work properly and it bit our kid in the butt.
(Gut feeling is it's mostly #3 with just enough of #2 thrown in to muddy the waters.)
And on a more immediate level, how do I help DOT Jr. tighten up on homework to make sure that he gets his grades up, no matter how disorganized his temporary teacher might or might not be? And how do I do this without torturing/putting the squeeze on a kid I'm not even convinced has done anything wrong?
I think I agree with your assessment of this - the only long term risk I see is if they try to kick him out of the magnet program. The fourth grade grades won’t otherwise matter, he’s learning the stuff, and the teacher is a short timer.
I think the tone you want to strike with the principal is curious and mildly concerned. “We were really surprised that our first indication of a problem was in the report card. Of course we want to help Junior succeed here and in other ways it seems he is, but obviously if he is struggling to turn his work in we want to help him with that. Because of this I’m a little confused about why we haven’t heard about this sooner. Help me understand where the teacher is coming from here.”
Easier said than done, I know. Is this his first year in the program? If they’ve known him a while and they know it’s actually a good fit, I suspect they will not be rushing to show him the door.
What lesson would you like your kid to take away from this, after the teacher is gone? Are there some accountability/tracking habits that would be good to instill? If he has an assignment book where he keeps track of work, could you teach him to put a check mark next to each assignment after he hands it in? It’s not ironclad proof, but it is documentation and it could be a useful habit.
Good luck.
posted by eirias at 8:32 AM on November 27, 2018 [8 favorites]
I think the tone you want to strike with the principal is curious and mildly concerned. “We were really surprised that our first indication of a problem was in the report card. Of course we want to help Junior succeed here and in other ways it seems he is, but obviously if he is struggling to turn his work in we want to help him with that. Because of this I’m a little confused about why we haven’t heard about this sooner. Help me understand where the teacher is coming from here.”
Easier said than done, I know. Is this his first year in the program? If they’ve known him a while and they know it’s actually a good fit, I suspect they will not be rushing to show him the door.
What lesson would you like your kid to take away from this, after the teacher is gone? Are there some accountability/tracking habits that would be good to instill? If he has an assignment book where he keeps track of work, could you teach him to put a check mark next to each assignment after he hands it in? It’s not ironclad proof, but it is documentation and it could be a useful habit.
Good luck.
posted by eirias at 8:32 AM on November 27, 2018 [8 favorites]
Best answer: I apologize for not notifying you earlier about missing assignments. I had given students extra time to turn in missing assignments and unfortunately, around the time they were due had a family emergency and was not in the classroom to verify what had and had not been turned in until the trimester was nearly over.
This is a shitty teacher. Maybe it's due to some stuff beyond her control but at the end of the day, she .... sucks. She's disorganized and instead of like, checking that all of his work was in she just gave him two Fs. You remember your kid completing these projects. I'd take it all the way to top. MAKE THIS TEACHER SHOW HER WORK. Get his grades adjusted. While you're right that fourth grade doesn't really matter in the long-term, they could use these grades to evaluate him for other opportunities in the future or continued enrollment in the magnet program and I wouldn't gamble with that.
posted by kate blank at 8:37 AM on November 27, 2018 [46 favorites]
This is a shitty teacher. Maybe it's due to some stuff beyond her control but at the end of the day, she .... sucks. She's disorganized and instead of like, checking that all of his work was in she just gave him two Fs. You remember your kid completing these projects. I'd take it all the way to top. MAKE THIS TEACHER SHOW HER WORK. Get his grades adjusted. While you're right that fourth grade doesn't really matter in the long-term, they could use these grades to evaluate him for other opportunities in the future or continued enrollment in the magnet program and I wouldn't gamble with that.
posted by kate blank at 8:37 AM on November 27, 2018 [46 favorites]
Is the substitute teacher inexperienced? We had a first-year teacher once who did something without thinking much, and she flushed red to her scalp when we mentioned it. We weren't bent out of shape, because we caught it before there was trouble, but her mentor was at the table when we brought it up and I am sure she wanted to sink into the floor and disappear.
Also, does DOT Jr. have a planner for school? My fifth-grader does, and every kid in her school gets issued one every year. It helps track assignments day-by-day, and parents initial it nightly. I was also a smart kid in a magnet program who blew off homework in 4th grade, and I damn sure wish someone had taught me about planners. I ended up with a months-long deal in sixth grade where I had to be the only kid keeping a planner, which Mrs. Sagert would sign every afternoon. I am not blaming your son, just pointing out that a planner is a HUGE improvement in communication among student+teacher+parent(s) for the future -- and maybe for all the kids.
posted by wenestvedt at 8:38 AM on November 27, 2018 [3 favorites]
Also, does DOT Jr. have a planner for school? My fifth-grader does, and every kid in her school gets issued one every year. It helps track assignments day-by-day, and parents initial it nightly. I was also a smart kid in a magnet program who blew off homework in 4th grade, and I damn sure wish someone had taught me about planners. I ended up with a months-long deal in sixth grade where I had to be the only kid keeping a planner, which Mrs. Sagert would sign every afternoon. I am not blaming your son, just pointing out that a planner is a HUGE improvement in communication among student+teacher+parent(s) for the future -- and maybe for all the kids.
posted by wenestvedt at 8:38 AM on November 27, 2018 [3 favorites]
Response by poster: He has a planner into which he writes his assignments each day. We complete them together before dinner every night.
I got a call from the principal who was apologetic and said a lot of nice things about how this does not sound right and we will get this straightened out. She intends to get back to me no later than tomorrow.
After I hung up, I realized something that might be telling: she sounded sympathetic, concerned, anxious to help me, and a half dozen other things. She did not, however, sound at all surprised.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:41 AM on November 27, 2018 [61 favorites]
I got a call from the principal who was apologetic and said a lot of nice things about how this does not sound right and we will get this straightened out. She intends to get back to me no later than tomorrow.
After I hung up, I realized something that might be telling: she sounded sympathetic, concerned, anxious to help me, and a half dozen other things. She did not, however, sound at all surprised.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:41 AM on November 27, 2018 [61 favorites]
DOT: ah yes, I forgot to say, if spuriously lost assignments happened to you, it is unlikely that you are the only family.
posted by eirias at 8:46 AM on November 27, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by eirias at 8:46 AM on November 27, 2018 [5 favorites]
I do not yet have a school-aged child.
If your kid did the assignments and thus learned all the stuff (except possibly the organizational skills), does it matter what the grades are? I mean the PERMANENT RECORD is not actually a thing. If he knows how to do grade 4-level science/language arts/whatever, does it matter what it says on his report card?
Yes, it's upsetting that the teacher didn't give you heads up, but they'll be gone ridiculously soon (like seriously, 10 weeks mat leave? that's the most horrifying part of the story) I wouldn't bother trying to change teacher's ways etc. beyond what you've already done.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 8:50 AM on November 27, 2018 [3 favorites]
If your kid did the assignments and thus learned all the stuff (except possibly the organizational skills), does it matter what the grades are? I mean the PERMANENT RECORD is not actually a thing. If he knows how to do grade 4-level science/language arts/whatever, does it matter what it says on his report card?
Yes, it's upsetting that the teacher didn't give you heads up, but they'll be gone ridiculously soon (like seriously, 10 weeks mat leave? that's the most horrifying part of the story) I wouldn't bother trying to change teacher's ways etc. beyond what you've already done.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 8:50 AM on November 27, 2018 [3 favorites]
I mean the PERMANENT RECORD is not actually a thing.
DOT probably knows this, but that's not true. I don't know how the Illinois DOE works, but in the New York public school system grades matter---especially in fourth grade because of the entry point for middle schools at sixth grade.
I'm not a squeaky wheel, and I'm certainly not person who complains about grades. I never did it for myself and I've never encouraged my kids to do it -- it's just not my style.
But I have a kid in the largest public school system in the world (fun fact: 1 in 300 Americans is a current New York City public school student!) and here is what I have learned: advocates get outcomes. This sounds like bullshit and I would work to get those grades changed.
posted by The Bellman at 9:02 AM on November 27, 2018 [17 favorites]
DOT probably knows this, but that's not true. I don't know how the Illinois DOE works, but in the New York public school system grades matter---especially in fourth grade because of the entry point for middle schools at sixth grade.
I'm not a squeaky wheel, and I'm certainly not person who complains about grades. I never did it for myself and I've never encouraged my kids to do it -- it's just not my style.
But I have a kid in the largest public school system in the world (fun fact: 1 in 300 Americans is a current New York City public school student!) and here is what I have learned: advocates get outcomes. This sounds like bullshit and I would work to get those grades changed.
posted by The Bellman at 9:02 AM on November 27, 2018 [17 favorites]
Best answer: I manage teachers outside the US, and in a different context to a school like the one in this question, but honestly, as kate blank says above, this substitute teacher really does sound quite disorganised, and like they don't actually know who your child is. Their behaviour, I want you to know, is truly bizarre. The one administrative job that matters to parents more than anything else other than attendance/life safety is accurate recording of grades, and this teacher seems to simply not think that it matters that much.
For perspective: We email home if a child misses completing their weekly homework once. One time. It's not even for the students (who we've already spoken to) but for the parents, for them to know we are keeping a close watch on their kid's performance. It's pretty low-key; parents frequently email us back saying why the homework was missing, which is a good additional measure on the child's welfare: kids who never do homework with parents who never respond to me are on my radar much more for problems later on; they may be getting no help at all compared to their peers. The sub has missed 10 weeks of these stories.
The principal, as well, has a lot to answer for if the sub's grading and record-keeping system is so poor that this kind of mismatch between comments in class and report-card grades has happened; I doubt you're the only family in the class with this issue. Honestly, where's the oversight? Do you as a parent trust these people to run a fire drill now? A field trip? Keep the bathrooms clean? Sheesh.
Echoing other commenters, there is definitely some usefulness in helping your child manage their own assignments and time with planners and calendars, but without guided routines built into lesson time about assignments done, reflections on what to do next or how the homework will help them, kids this age rarely record accurate information that they can use later to refer back to. Good teachers will build in copious amounts of time to help students write the lesson record, evaluate it, get the students to peer-check that it's all OK...it sounds like that isn't happening.
Honestly, though, what makes me so suspicious is the email. I see many, many red flags which make me think that the teacher doesn't know who anyone in the class is and that they are hopelessly behind on grading, have lost assignments, and have either just not returned any work ('oh, I'm not going to give that back - it was a quiz! surprise! I'll post your grades on the door after recess') or, worse, simply lied to the kids ('oh, I'm not going to give that one back just yet - I'm still marking it'; 'you'll get it back next week'; 'you never handed it in').
The family emergency bit, the failure to mention any specific assignments, the absence of any mention of how the grades don't match your child's personality...I truly, honestly don't believe the substitute knows who your son is. Ask them to identify him in the class photo. If they can't then you know what the problem is.
I'll offer you a translation of what I heard in my head when I read her email:
I apologize for not notifying you earlier about missing assignments.
I have to say this because starting with this makes it seem like I knew they were missing; I did not
I had given students extra time to turn in missing assignments
because I was behind on my marking and had not developed a system of marking or assignment collection that can last ten weeks, being used to only subbing for much shorter amounts of time
and unfortunately, around the time they were due
which I cannot tell you because I can't refer to them by date because I don't know what they are because, as above, I have no system for tracking student work
had a family emergency
which means I was not grading your kid's work during this time and can't tell you who was doing that, either
and was not in the classroom to verify what had and had not been turned in until the trimester was nearly over
because of the family emergency that I cannot describe or explain and which I am desperate that you not ask your child about
I will make sure that I am on top of [DOT Jr]'s assignments
though I cannot tell you when that date in the future is and cannot define what 'on top of' means here
and that we have clear communication about what is still missing so he can bring his grades up.
though I am leaving 'we' ambiguous here in the hope that you assume it is he and I, away from your direct purview, and not you and I, as I am terrified of having to deal with you
Please let me know what time/day works for you so we can further discuss if necessary.
because even though I failed your kid I want to put the onus on you to come to me with the next step by using this very indirect phrasing rather than directly ask you to come in and go over my gradebook/Excel since I don't have one
Just now, reading your update - I am happy to see that your principal gets it, and it sounds like you all will be fine. But this substitute, you need to make clear, will not be responsible for your child's grades again. The principal will demure; you will have to insist that someone else grade your child's work, because you have no confidence in the teacher's ability to do so. Hell, offer to mark it yourself.
posted by mdonley at 9:07 AM on November 27, 2018 [29 favorites]
For perspective: We email home if a child misses completing their weekly homework once. One time. It's not even for the students (who we've already spoken to) but for the parents, for them to know we are keeping a close watch on their kid's performance. It's pretty low-key; parents frequently email us back saying why the homework was missing, which is a good additional measure on the child's welfare: kids who never do homework with parents who never respond to me are on my radar much more for problems later on; they may be getting no help at all compared to their peers. The sub has missed 10 weeks of these stories.
The principal, as well, has a lot to answer for if the sub's grading and record-keeping system is so poor that this kind of mismatch between comments in class and report-card grades has happened; I doubt you're the only family in the class with this issue. Honestly, where's the oversight? Do you as a parent trust these people to run a fire drill now? A field trip? Keep the bathrooms clean? Sheesh.
Echoing other commenters, there is definitely some usefulness in helping your child manage their own assignments and time with planners and calendars, but without guided routines built into lesson time about assignments done, reflections on what to do next or how the homework will help them, kids this age rarely record accurate information that they can use later to refer back to. Good teachers will build in copious amounts of time to help students write the lesson record, evaluate it, get the students to peer-check that it's all OK...it sounds like that isn't happening.
Honestly, though, what makes me so suspicious is the email. I see many, many red flags which make me think that the teacher doesn't know who anyone in the class is and that they are hopelessly behind on grading, have lost assignments, and have either just not returned any work ('oh, I'm not going to give that back - it was a quiz! surprise! I'll post your grades on the door after recess') or, worse, simply lied to the kids ('oh, I'm not going to give that one back just yet - I'm still marking it'; 'you'll get it back next week'; 'you never handed it in').
The family emergency bit, the failure to mention any specific assignments, the absence of any mention of how the grades don't match your child's personality...I truly, honestly don't believe the substitute knows who your son is. Ask them to identify him in the class photo. If they can't then you know what the problem is.
I'll offer you a translation of what I heard in my head when I read her email:
I apologize for not notifying you earlier about missing assignments.
I have to say this because starting with this makes it seem like I knew they were missing; I did not
I had given students extra time to turn in missing assignments
because I was behind on my marking and had not developed a system of marking or assignment collection that can last ten weeks, being used to only subbing for much shorter amounts of time
and unfortunately, around the time they were due
which I cannot tell you because I can't refer to them by date because I don't know what they are because, as above, I have no system for tracking student work
had a family emergency
which means I was not grading your kid's work during this time and can't tell you who was doing that, either
and was not in the classroom to verify what had and had not been turned in until the trimester was nearly over
because of the family emergency that I cannot describe or explain and which I am desperate that you not ask your child about
I will make sure that I am on top of [DOT Jr]'s assignments
though I cannot tell you when that date in the future is and cannot define what 'on top of' means here
and that we have clear communication about what is still missing so he can bring his grades up.
though I am leaving 'we' ambiguous here in the hope that you assume it is he and I, away from your direct purview, and not you and I, as I am terrified of having to deal with you
Please let me know what time/day works for you so we can further discuss if necessary.
because even though I failed your kid I want to put the onus on you to come to me with the next step by using this very indirect phrasing rather than directly ask you to come in and go over my gradebook/Excel since I don't have one
Just now, reading your update - I am happy to see that your principal gets it, and it sounds like you all will be fine. But this substitute, you need to make clear, will not be responsible for your child's grades again. The principal will demure; you will have to insist that someone else grade your child's work, because you have no confidence in the teacher's ability to do so. Hell, offer to mark it yourself.
posted by mdonley at 9:07 AM on November 27, 2018 [29 favorites]
You need to have a one-on-one meeting with the teacher and, perhaps, the principal. If I were in your shoes, I'd approach it (at first) as wanting to hear her side of the story. You say that you worked on assignments with your child. Teacher says she never received those assignments. Perhaps this teacher is scatterbrained and disorganized. Perhaps it's your child who is the scatterbrained one. Perhaps it's a bit of both. Regardless, she deserves a bit of the benefit of the doubt.
The first thing to do is to compare stories with the teacher and find out how your stories line up, and how they don't. Don't go in there with guns blazing, don't start out with a defensive, accusatory stance. It won't do you, or the substitute, or your child, any good if you go in there on the attack.
HOWEVER.
Part of a 4th grade teacher's job is to be organized and to provide solid structure for the students. If her instructions on handing in assignments weren't clear, or if she was disorganized in her collection and grading of assignments, that's on her. If these assignments were so important, you should have heard about their absence long before the arrival of the report card.
Furthermore, (and this is just my opinion, but here goes,) Learning to turn things in on time, learning to keep track of papers and stay organized, all of those things are part of school. But there's a better way to teach these things than to expect students to hand in a few big important projects at key times. It's better to give them many small opportunities to build good habits, like a reading log they have to turn in every week. Sometimes they'll get it done, sometimes they won't. But there are many opportunities to succeed at a small, recurring task, and the stakes are a lot lower than one big project.
I've heard teacher friends say that in elementary school, turning in homework is often more a measure of the parents than the students, and I tend to think there's some truth to that.
posted by cleverevans at 9:16 AM on November 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
The first thing to do is to compare stories with the teacher and find out how your stories line up, and how they don't. Don't go in there with guns blazing, don't start out with a defensive, accusatory stance. It won't do you, or the substitute, or your child, any good if you go in there on the attack.
HOWEVER.
Part of a 4th grade teacher's job is to be organized and to provide solid structure for the students. If her instructions on handing in assignments weren't clear, or if she was disorganized in her collection and grading of assignments, that's on her. If these assignments were so important, you should have heard about their absence long before the arrival of the report card.
Furthermore, (and this is just my opinion, but here goes,) Learning to turn things in on time, learning to keep track of papers and stay organized, all of those things are part of school. But there's a better way to teach these things than to expect students to hand in a few big important projects at key times. It's better to give them many small opportunities to build good habits, like a reading log they have to turn in every week. Sometimes they'll get it done, sometimes they won't. But there are many opportunities to succeed at a small, recurring task, and the stakes are a lot lower than one big project.
I've heard teacher friends say that in elementary school, turning in homework is often more a measure of the parents than the students, and I tend to think there's some truth to that.
posted by cleverevans at 9:16 AM on November 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Also, when the sub's total incompetence comes out after you meet the teacher and the principal and the regular teacher is back, I'd take the kid out for ice cream and make 100% sure that they know that you'll stand up to school-level administrative bullshit like this for them whenever they need you to, but that the other side of this is that they've got to let you know what's going on and what they notice.
Advocacy from parents and families because of teacher malpractice and/or administrative arrogance - far from being annoying or a hassle - has made the schools I've worked in better places for children to learn - as well as safer in terms of facilities, more accessible to people without much English or with disabilities, more welcoming of different kinds of families, and even better places to work as teachers. It's also improved our ability to respond to complaints and made us improve our procedures for managing disputes. You're part of the decisions schools make and good schools will want to hear from you! Be that squeaky wheel.
posted by mdonley at 9:32 AM on November 27, 2018 [21 favorites]
Advocacy from parents and families because of teacher malpractice and/or administrative arrogance - far from being annoying or a hassle - has made the schools I've worked in better places for children to learn - as well as safer in terms of facilities, more accessible to people without much English or with disabilities, more welcoming of different kinds of families, and even better places to work as teachers. It's also improved our ability to respond to complaints and made us improve our procedures for managing disputes. You're part of the decisions schools make and good schools will want to hear from you! Be that squeaky wheel.
posted by mdonley at 9:32 AM on November 27, 2018 [21 favorites]
Response by poster: Thank you, everybody for all of the great comments.
Someday--maybe on his birthday-- I'll do a MeTa compiling all of my many posts and comments on DOT, Jr. He's ridiculously awesome: speaks Hungarian, plays mandolin, loves blues music, feminist, hates guns. He's such a ridiculously great kid. Clicking through my profile is a way of clicking through his life story.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:47 AM on November 27, 2018 [28 favorites]
Someday--maybe on his birthday-- I'll do a MeTa compiling all of my many posts and comments on DOT, Jr. He's ridiculously awesome: speaks Hungarian, plays mandolin, loves blues music, feminist, hates guns. He's such a ridiculously great kid. Clicking through my profile is a way of clicking through his life story.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:47 AM on November 27, 2018 [28 favorites]
Disclaimer: I don't have kids, and I don't teach kids. I am a professor, and I have failed only a few students in my years, and that weighs on me.
That said: grades should give you (parents and students both) information about learning. Getting an F should only happen if kid has not learned enough material sufficiently to move on, and it sounds like here the teacher is ... not even evaluating learning??? That is something I'd mention to the principal, because feedback about learning is hugely an important part of the process.
The F your kid got not only makes him feel bad for the wrong reasons, it totally Fails to give him feedback he needs about whether and what he's learning. Right now neither you nor DOT Jr have any idea about how that's going.
posted by Dashy at 10:01 AM on November 27, 2018 [6 favorites]
That said: grades should give you (parents and students both) information about learning. Getting an F should only happen if kid has not learned enough material sufficiently to move on, and it sounds like here the teacher is ... not even evaluating learning??? That is something I'd mention to the principal, because feedback about learning is hugely an important part of the process.
The F your kid got not only makes him feel bad for the wrong reasons, it totally Fails to give him feedback he needs about whether and what he's learning. Right now neither you nor DOT Jr have any idea about how that's going.
posted by Dashy at 10:01 AM on November 27, 2018 [6 favorites]
I think you've gotten excellent advice here but I wanted to add a perspective...
If your kid did the assignments and thus learned all the stuff (except possibly the organizational skills), does it matter what the grades are? I mean the PERMANENT RECORD is not actually a thing. If he knows how to do grade 4-level science/language arts/whatever, does it matter what it says on his report card?
Yeah, my son had /three/ different teachers, one of whom was abysmal, in grade 6, and he too went through this weird "oh he's failing because he didn't do any assignments, oh wait, here's one, but actually now he has to redo them and then maybe his grades will or won't change" cycle.
And now this year he's applying to an arts school and his grades are something we have had to provide.
Don't give up on this one until your son has had an opportunity to be properly graded and/or find out where those assignments went. From here forward, when he turns something in, ask him to have his teacher sign off on his agenda that she received them and call it "communicating about his organization.
posted by warriorqueen at 10:17 AM on November 27, 2018
If your kid did the assignments and thus learned all the stuff (except possibly the organizational skills), does it matter what the grades are? I mean the PERMANENT RECORD is not actually a thing. If he knows how to do grade 4-level science/language arts/whatever, does it matter what it says on his report card?
Yeah, my son had /three/ different teachers, one of whom was abysmal, in grade 6, and he too went through this weird "oh he's failing because he didn't do any assignments, oh wait, here's one, but actually now he has to redo them and then maybe his grades will or won't change" cycle.
And now this year he's applying to an arts school and his grades are something we have had to provide.
Don't give up on this one until your son has had an opportunity to be properly graded and/or find out where those assignments went. From here forward, when he turns something in, ask him to have his teacher sign off on his agenda that she received them and call it "communicating about his organization.
posted by warriorqueen at 10:17 AM on November 27, 2018
Best answer: After I hung up, I realized something that might be telling: she sounded sympathetic, concerned, anxious to help me, and a half dozen other things. She did not, however, sound at all surprised.
I think there is a 100% chance the sub doesn't know where any of the work of any of the kids is. I would suggest the following strategy for any meetings:
1. Thank everyone profusely for everything they do for DOT Jr. Thank the sub for filling the enormous shoes of the spectacular permanent teacher. Tell her how much you appreciate her hard work.
2. Share how worried you are that DOT Jr. is not completing or turning in his homework. You are very worried that he's getting discouraged with school or not understanding what homework to do. You want to do anything you can to make sure DOT Jr. turns in his completed work.
3. Ask to discuss as a group how DOT Jr. records his homework, completes it, and turns it in. Bring his homework planner. Review a sample week. Make sure the sample week is one with one of the projects you remember working on with him. Ask teacher, does it look like he's recorded the assignments correctly? Not accusatory. Just checking.
3. Share your procedure for work at home. Again, not judging. "We sit at the table and he works independently on ELA and then takes a break. We put his completed work in his red folder and it goes back in his backpack. We don't do any homework on Thursdays bc we go to church." Whatever. You aren't insisting that he has done every assignment and turned it in. You are just describing the steps in the process of homework so the group of you can figure out where homework is going wrong.
4. Ask the teacher to explain how work is collected. Share your understanding of how work is collected, to see if there is any mismatch between what DOT Jr. tells you and what the teacher thinks she has in place.
5. At this point, give the teacher a rope if she needs one (if it's clear she doesn't have a good system) OR act totally baffled by what has gone wrong if she's trying to save face and not give you a straight answer. Say that you are worried because the current system is clearly not getting completed homework turned in. You need a different system. Does anyone have any ideas for a different system?
6. See what the teacher suggests. If she doesn't suggest "I confirm each morning in writing that he has turned in his completed homework," suggest it.
7. Thank everyone again.
8. By the way, you are a little worried that you as a group have not identified where the homework system went wrong and where the missing assignments might be. Is it possible that we can all check again to see where those assignments are? You will check at home. Teacher will check at school. Do we need to schedule another meeting to discuss the missing assignments and how they may change DOT Jr.'s grades? You are concerned that the grades are not an accurate reflection of his learning. If they are accurate, you are veeeeery concerned and might need several more meetings about his progress and organizational skills. If they are not accurate, is there something we could do about the report card? Don't answer now. Let's meet again in a week when we've all looked for the missing assignments.
You might have to get the principal alone a few days after this to be like "hey I'm really worried about DOT Jr.'s grades bc of middle school application process, what's the what?" but I suspect it will work out ok.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 10:44 AM on November 27, 2018 [15 favorites]
I think there is a 100% chance the sub doesn't know where any of the work of any of the kids is. I would suggest the following strategy for any meetings:
1. Thank everyone profusely for everything they do for DOT Jr. Thank the sub for filling the enormous shoes of the spectacular permanent teacher. Tell her how much you appreciate her hard work.
2. Share how worried you are that DOT Jr. is not completing or turning in his homework. You are very worried that he's getting discouraged with school or not understanding what homework to do. You want to do anything you can to make sure DOT Jr. turns in his completed work.
3. Ask to discuss as a group how DOT Jr. records his homework, completes it, and turns it in. Bring his homework planner. Review a sample week. Make sure the sample week is one with one of the projects you remember working on with him. Ask teacher, does it look like he's recorded the assignments correctly? Not accusatory. Just checking.
3. Share your procedure for work at home. Again, not judging. "We sit at the table and he works independently on ELA and then takes a break. We put his completed work in his red folder and it goes back in his backpack. We don't do any homework on Thursdays bc we go to church." Whatever. You aren't insisting that he has done every assignment and turned it in. You are just describing the steps in the process of homework so the group of you can figure out where homework is going wrong.
4. Ask the teacher to explain how work is collected. Share your understanding of how work is collected, to see if there is any mismatch between what DOT Jr. tells you and what the teacher thinks she has in place.
5. At this point, give the teacher a rope if she needs one (if it's clear she doesn't have a good system) OR act totally baffled by what has gone wrong if she's trying to save face and not give you a straight answer. Say that you are worried because the current system is clearly not getting completed homework turned in. You need a different system. Does anyone have any ideas for a different system?
6. See what the teacher suggests. If she doesn't suggest "I confirm each morning in writing that he has turned in his completed homework," suggest it.
7. Thank everyone again.
8. By the way, you are a little worried that you as a group have not identified where the homework system went wrong and where the missing assignments might be. Is it possible that we can all check again to see where those assignments are? You will check at home. Teacher will check at school. Do we need to schedule another meeting to discuss the missing assignments and how they may change DOT Jr.'s grades? You are concerned that the grades are not an accurate reflection of his learning. If they are accurate, you are veeeeery concerned and might need several more meetings about his progress and organizational skills. If they are not accurate, is there something we could do about the report card? Don't answer now. Let's meet again in a week when we've all looked for the missing assignments.
You might have to get the principal alone a few days after this to be like "hey I'm really worried about DOT Jr.'s grades bc of middle school application process, what's the what?" but I suspect it will work out ok.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 10:44 AM on November 27, 2018 [15 favorites]
Response by poster: OK, look you guys, I am way past reasonable limits of reasonable limits of reasonable limits. Please let me go home.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:51 AM on November 27, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:51 AM on November 27, 2018 [3 favorites]
Response by poster: Just got a call from his principal. Looks like he is okay.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:06 AM on November 27, 2018 [18 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:06 AM on November 27, 2018 [18 favorites]
Something like this happened to me as a kid, with a teacher who, it turned out, expected most children's grades to be a C or below. Because children cannot achieve the results that an adult sitting in a 5th grade classroom could (literally their reasoning). Ultimately those grades were completely erased from the record, and the new teacher's grades applied for the whole year. Just wanted to let you know that this kind of stuff happens sometimes, and I'm glad your principal is on top of it.
posted by tchemgrrl at 11:51 AM on November 27, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by tchemgrrl at 11:51 AM on November 27, 2018 [7 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks again, everyone. I was too stressed out to function, but I think things look manageable now,
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:47 PM on November 27, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:47 PM on November 27, 2018 [4 favorites]
Hello, a lot of people above have answered with clear appropriate steps on how to approach this situation from your end and with your child.
I am just writing to mention that long term substitutes, at least here in California, are not necessarily required to have a full on credential, depending on how many school days they are hired to teach in the same classroom. They may just be a person who got an emergency 30 day credential, which means they are OK at math and English, but may not have any background in pedagogy or best practices.
It sounds to me like your school administration or HR picked someone unqualified for the job, putting everyone in a difficult position.
I would assume best intentions but maybe sub-par skills. The person is probably panicking because she knows she's bungled it and left a mess for the regular teacher to clean up.
I'm sorry for everyone involved, it sounds stressful!
posted by Temeraria at 3:28 PM on November 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
I am just writing to mention that long term substitutes, at least here in California, are not necessarily required to have a full on credential, depending on how many school days they are hired to teach in the same classroom. They may just be a person who got an emergency 30 day credential, which means they are OK at math and English, but may not have any background in pedagogy or best practices.
It sounds to me like your school administration or HR picked someone unqualified for the job, putting everyone in a difficult position.
I would assume best intentions but maybe sub-par skills. The person is probably panicking because she knows she's bungled it and left a mess for the regular teacher to clean up.
I'm sorry for everyone involved, it sounds stressful!
posted by Temeraria at 3:28 PM on November 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: We're setting up an appointment for me to meet with the teacher and the principal to come up with a plan for getting the missing assignments either credited or replaced.
And Mrs. DOT (the MeFite known as Comrade Doll) has suggested I might benefit from seeing a therapist again, as I spent the entire day in a state of mumbling, groaning nauseous anxiety over this. So that is probably happening, too.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 5:26 PM on November 27, 2018 [12 favorites]
And Mrs. DOT (the MeFite known as Comrade Doll) has suggested I might benefit from seeing a therapist again, as I spent the entire day in a state of mumbling, groaning nauseous anxiety over this. So that is probably happening, too.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 5:26 PM on November 27, 2018 [12 favorites]
It sounds like this is getting resolved in a different way, but honestly, I'd do nothing. Good teacher will be coming back and recognize that the grades are wrong. The situation will resolve itself without you having to do anything.
posted by metasarah at 6:23 PM on November 27, 2018
posted by metasarah at 6:23 PM on November 27, 2018
Ditto on the ice cream and unequivocal expression of support. I had a grade school teacher who would say people hadn't handed in work when they had, and I can still remember how confusing it was that an adult would keep acting that way. A run-in with an incompetent authority figure can be a pretty big deal for a kid.
posted by BibiRose at 6:57 AM on November 28, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by BibiRose at 6:57 AM on November 28, 2018 [2 favorites]
One thing you might bring up, in addition to the suggestions above, is that you need to not be surprised by bad grades. Especially at these lower grade levels, there should be a fair amount of teacher-parent communication over the course of the term if the kids isn't doing well, so that the parents can do their part in helping their kids do better. If someone is suddenly doing much worse than usual, then finding out only at the end of a term is much too late.
(Also depending on what the grades are for, I find it weird to get an F just for missing assignments - what about exams, class participation, etc? What is the grading rubric?)
posted by trig at 12:47 PM on November 28, 2018
(Also depending on what the grades are for, I find it weird to get an F just for missing assignments - what about exams, class participation, etc? What is the grading rubric?)
posted by trig at 12:47 PM on November 28, 2018
Hi, DOT. Don't even know if you're checking back. But I wanted to tell you a quick story. I transferred to a new school in 11th grade. My schedule got all kinds of messed up from the transfer, and the only English class that fit was the remedial version. So I went on independent study in the library for College Prep English.
Report cards come around, and I've got a C- in English. Which is highly out of character for me. My dad asks me what's going on. I had to tell him I had absolutely no idea; I'd never gotten a paper back or any kind of grade on anything.
Parent-teacher conference time, my parents are eager to talk to all my new teachers, but most of all, my English teacher. He had very nice things to say about me to my parents. Which is all well and good. But when Daddy asks why I've got a C-, my teacher says "I thought that was what she deserved." He goes on to explain that he didn't bother grading anything I wrote, but just gave me the grade he thought I should have.
I have never loved my dad more than that night when he told me that wouldn't be a problem any more.
posted by The Almighty Mommy Goddess at 3:25 AM on November 29, 2018
Report cards come around, and I've got a C- in English. Which is highly out of character for me. My dad asks me what's going on. I had to tell him I had absolutely no idea; I'd never gotten a paper back or any kind of grade on anything.
Parent-teacher conference time, my parents are eager to talk to all my new teachers, but most of all, my English teacher. He had very nice things to say about me to my parents. Which is all well and good. But when Daddy asks why I've got a C-, my teacher says "I thought that was what she deserved." He goes on to explain that he didn't bother grading anything I wrote, but just gave me the grade he thought I should have.
I have never loved my dad more than that night when he told me that wouldn't be a problem any more.
posted by The Almighty Mommy Goddess at 3:25 AM on November 29, 2018
Response by poster: UPDATE:
I met with his teacher and the principal this morning.
I had spent last night preparing a withering, highly damning, legal-style argument that dismantled this crap teacher in progressive stages.
And then I went in and was nice anyway, because it's one thing to script a perfect dressing down in your mind and it's another to be shitty to a smiling person offering to help you at eight o'clock in the morning.
They started off by admitting that whatever else happened, it was a serious dropped ball that I first heard about missing assignments in the forms of my A student getting F's.
Even though they made no effort to make this about the sub it her problems, I found myself empathizing with her because she got a last minute ten week sub gig teaching comparatively complicated stuff to the smartest kids in the district and has been responsible for them personally even though she had to miss class around twenty percent of the time herself. The subs upon subs upon subs are likely where the wires got crossed.
It looks like the C in English is going to hold because his in-class work has seen a drop off since the sub came in. Which... would have been awesome to know about earlier, but okay.
The two F's were in Science and Social Science. His graded work was B level across the board (again, a drop off) but there was one big take home project and a stack of in class stuff she says he never turned in.
I was able to describe the exact contents of the Social Science project in detail, as we had worked on it together at length. He took an entire little bag of stuff from Transylvania, where his mom is from.
"Maybe he just forgot to bring it to school?"
"He carried it to school every day for a week until he got nervous he would lose his mom's family heirlooms."
They gave us an A on that one.
For the others, they agreed it was "odd" that
work everyone agrees he did in class vanished into the ether. I didn't beat this poor lady up or waste time pointing the finger, but I did note that this had not happened before she came in and had not happened ever in the math class he takes from another teacher.
They agreed to exempt him on the less important stuff and sent me home with what he needs to re-do the rest. I think we should be able to knock it out this weekend.
I will be honest with you: the stuff I can personally remember him doing once already, I will write down all of the answers and let him copy. I'm not going to torture this kid because chaos at school swallowed his paperwork.
In addition to sending the written work in, I will be scanning it and emailing it, copying the principal.
I know we can work with his regular teacher when she comes back to get him back on track. The English grade is a high C that just missed being a B. The two F's should be B's when we are done with the make-up work.
These will still be his lowest grades yet, but given the drop-off in teaching from normal and given that my kid does need a bit of shepherding here and there he hasn't been getting... this probably accurately represents his work.
I cannot wait for his regular teacher to come back. I don't so much feel like his education has continued without her so much as the decay of the knowledge and skills he had accumulated was slowed/partially staved off.
I advocated for my kid as best I could and I hope I both mitigated the damage and made this something he can learn from.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:22 AM on November 30, 2018 [5 favorites]
I met with his teacher and the principal this morning.
I had spent last night preparing a withering, highly damning, legal-style argument that dismantled this crap teacher in progressive stages.
And then I went in and was nice anyway, because it's one thing to script a perfect dressing down in your mind and it's another to be shitty to a smiling person offering to help you at eight o'clock in the morning.
They started off by admitting that whatever else happened, it was a serious dropped ball that I first heard about missing assignments in the forms of my A student getting F's.
Even though they made no effort to make this about the sub it her problems, I found myself empathizing with her because she got a last minute ten week sub gig teaching comparatively complicated stuff to the smartest kids in the district and has been responsible for them personally even though she had to miss class around twenty percent of the time herself. The subs upon subs upon subs are likely where the wires got crossed.
It looks like the C in English is going to hold because his in-class work has seen a drop off since the sub came in. Which... would have been awesome to know about earlier, but okay.
The two F's were in Science and Social Science. His graded work was B level across the board (again, a drop off) but there was one big take home project and a stack of in class stuff she says he never turned in.
I was able to describe the exact contents of the Social Science project in detail, as we had worked on it together at length. He took an entire little bag of stuff from Transylvania, where his mom is from.
"Maybe he just forgot to bring it to school?"
"He carried it to school every day for a week until he got nervous he would lose his mom's family heirlooms."
They gave us an A on that one.
For the others, they agreed it was "odd" that
work everyone agrees he did in class vanished into the ether. I didn't beat this poor lady up or waste time pointing the finger, but I did note that this had not happened before she came in and had not happened ever in the math class he takes from another teacher.
They agreed to exempt him on the less important stuff and sent me home with what he needs to re-do the rest. I think we should be able to knock it out this weekend.
I will be honest with you: the stuff I can personally remember him doing once already, I will write down all of the answers and let him copy. I'm not going to torture this kid because chaos at school swallowed his paperwork.
In addition to sending the written work in, I will be scanning it and emailing it, copying the principal.
I know we can work with his regular teacher when she comes back to get him back on track. The English grade is a high C that just missed being a B. The two F's should be B's when we are done with the make-up work.
These will still be his lowest grades yet, but given the drop-off in teaching from normal and given that my kid does need a bit of shepherding here and there he hasn't been getting... this probably accurately represents his work.
I cannot wait for his regular teacher to come back. I don't so much feel like his education has continued without her so much as the decay of the knowledge and skills he had accumulated was slowed/partially staved off.
I advocated for my kid as best I could and I hope I both mitigated the damage and made this something he can learn from.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:22 AM on November 30, 2018 [5 favorites]
Response by poster: Having made that entire comment from a constructive, positive stance, I will now lower myself to make one pointed/cynical observation.
I just realized that all of the "missing" assignments she "exempted" or hand waved off with rubber stamp A's were the homework stuff she knew I could and would argue with. The only stuff she presented as "proof" that he had legitimately missing work was in-class stuff she knew I had no way to dispute.
Eh, whatever.
It's still a chance to mitigate the page to his grades and teach him an early lesson about unreliable people who can torch your shit.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:58 AM on November 30, 2018 [2 favorites]
I just realized that all of the "missing" assignments she "exempted" or hand waved off with rubber stamp A's were the homework stuff she knew I could and would argue with. The only stuff she presented as "proof" that he had legitimately missing work was in-class stuff she knew I had no way to dispute.
Eh, whatever.
It's still a chance to mitigate the page to his grades and teach him an early lesson about unreliable people who can torch your shit.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:58 AM on November 30, 2018 [2 favorites]
Best answer: DOT! What an update. Thank you, speaking as a teacher with integrity, for defending your child like this - I wish every parent did what you did here. It must have been so awkward watching that sub squirm. One initial thought:
I found myself empathizing with her because she got a last minute ten week sub gig teaching comparatively complicated stuff to the smartest kids in the district
Everywhere I've ever worked, the teachers chosen to teach gifted/talented students must have additional experience and qualifications to have access to those classes, and they can be highly sought-after by teachers for their (perceived!) lack of discipline problems and stimulating coursework that demands a highly flexible approach; this sounds like your kid's normal teacher but not the sub, and it's odd that a sub who couldn't handle the simple workload demands of this pretty benign group of learners was chosen, unless they were incredibly stretched for personnel. It is also very worrying to me that this sub is described as 'last minute' - maternity leave is the very definition of a pre-planned absence that can be mitigated extremely well by an organised school. Why wasn't this all sorted out weeks in advance? Why wasn't a sub chosen who could handle the workload? What if this happens again?
Additional thoughts on what should come next:
- The sub's astonishingly bold lies about your son not handing in this highly specific and insanely personalised project (Transylvania! Family heirlooms!) would have been transparent to the principal and further illustrate that she really hasn't taken the time to get to know her students at all, and the fact that she would so openly lie to the principal in this way is a huge problem for me in terms of integrity. What are other teachers lying like this about? What barriers exist between the principal of this magnet (a highly coveted position!) and them seeing what's really happening in classes?
- The lesson for your son is the importance of protecting your own data, and the value of the nuance that is lost when you stop keeping track of the data that tells the full story - it is worrying that his performance was suffering but that this wasn't apparent until so late in the day. As commenters above mentioned, it sounds like it's time to start keeping a 10-minutes-a-week Google Sheet or something tracking assignments, grades and due dates, because this won't be the only bad teacher or professor DOT Jr. meets.
- It's going to take time for the normal teacher, while dealing with her own exhaustion as a new parent, to sort out the mess his sub has left in terms of paperwork, which will be nightmarish. Welcome the old teacher back with an email, perhaps, a week or so after their return with a brief bullet-point summary of what took place but do expect more speed bumps in the next report card if your kid's results next time depend on what happened over the subbed period.
- If you really want to go down in the history of the school as That Parent (and why shouldn't you after what they've put your son through?), call the principal a month after the normal teacher returns and ask them what procedures they've put in place so long term subs have more support in delivering on the mission of the school, both in the school and at a district level, and how the principal is personally addressing the integrity problem within the staff culture.
- In all your dealings with these people, from now until your child leaves this school with his correct and fully certified transcripts, never forget that at no point did the sub or the principal tell you the truth about where these missing assignments are: in her car, on her desk at home, or simply in a dumpster somewhere. The principal may have told her not to mention it, but between them at least one of them knows, and neither told you this. This is a wider cultural problem at the school so it's worth keeping an eye out in all his classes there for irregularities like what took place here.
Again - great work advocating for your child and holding the school to the standards it purports to uphold.
posted by mdonley at 5:40 AM on December 5, 2018 [2 favorites]
I found myself empathizing with her because she got a last minute ten week sub gig teaching comparatively complicated stuff to the smartest kids in the district
Everywhere I've ever worked, the teachers chosen to teach gifted/talented students must have additional experience and qualifications to have access to those classes, and they can be highly sought-after by teachers for their (perceived!) lack of discipline problems and stimulating coursework that demands a highly flexible approach; this sounds like your kid's normal teacher but not the sub, and it's odd that a sub who couldn't handle the simple workload demands of this pretty benign group of learners was chosen, unless they were incredibly stretched for personnel. It is also very worrying to me that this sub is described as 'last minute' - maternity leave is the very definition of a pre-planned absence that can be mitigated extremely well by an organised school. Why wasn't this all sorted out weeks in advance? Why wasn't a sub chosen who could handle the workload? What if this happens again?
Additional thoughts on what should come next:
- The sub's astonishingly bold lies about your son not handing in this highly specific and insanely personalised project (Transylvania! Family heirlooms!) would have been transparent to the principal and further illustrate that she really hasn't taken the time to get to know her students at all, and the fact that she would so openly lie to the principal in this way is a huge problem for me in terms of integrity. What are other teachers lying like this about? What barriers exist between the principal of this magnet (a highly coveted position!) and them seeing what's really happening in classes?
- The lesson for your son is the importance of protecting your own data, and the value of the nuance that is lost when you stop keeping track of the data that tells the full story - it is worrying that his performance was suffering but that this wasn't apparent until so late in the day. As commenters above mentioned, it sounds like it's time to start keeping a 10-minutes-a-week Google Sheet or something tracking assignments, grades and due dates, because this won't be the only bad teacher or professor DOT Jr. meets.
- It's going to take time for the normal teacher, while dealing with her own exhaustion as a new parent, to sort out the mess his sub has left in terms of paperwork, which will be nightmarish. Welcome the old teacher back with an email, perhaps, a week or so after their return with a brief bullet-point summary of what took place but do expect more speed bumps in the next report card if your kid's results next time depend on what happened over the subbed period.
- If you really want to go down in the history of the school as That Parent (and why shouldn't you after what they've put your son through?), call the principal a month after the normal teacher returns and ask them what procedures they've put in place so long term subs have more support in delivering on the mission of the school, both in the school and at a district level, and how the principal is personally addressing the integrity problem within the staff culture.
- In all your dealings with these people, from now until your child leaves this school with his correct and fully certified transcripts, never forget that at no point did the sub or the principal tell you the truth about where these missing assignments are: in her car, on her desk at home, or simply in a dumpster somewhere. The principal may have told her not to mention it, but between them at least one of them knows, and neither told you this. This is a wider cultural problem at the school so it's worth keeping an eye out in all his classes there for irregularities like what took place here.
Again - great work advocating for your child and holding the school to the standards it purports to uphold.
posted by mdonley at 5:40 AM on December 5, 2018 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: There was originally a highly-qualified, lured from semi-retirement long term sub in place, but after having been slowly on-boarded with the teacher and having been brought in to meet the kids to ease the transition twice, she had a family medical emergency and could no longer take the job. With about a week to spare. The teacher they ended up with was an ordinary sub who had at least been a gifted child and has her own gifted children. That was about as well as they could do, I gather.
Anyway, DOT Jr. and I have identified the handful of areas where his actual real grades could bear improvement. For instance, even when he was getting A's in general, he often got a C on his magnet group's highly challenging vocab tests drawing on root words. We're doubling down on those as a way of getting his grades up. He got a 100 on the vocab test from last week!
He's already finished every bit of the makeup work.
The next order of business is welcoming back the regular teacher and making her aware of the ground that was lost and needs to be regained without in any way to any degree making her feel guilty about taking the pittance of maternity leave to which she was absolutely entitled (and then some).
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:35 AM on December 5, 2018 [3 favorites]
Anyway, DOT Jr. and I have identified the handful of areas where his actual real grades could bear improvement. For instance, even when he was getting A's in general, he often got a C on his magnet group's highly challenging vocab tests drawing on root words. We're doubling down on those as a way of getting his grades up. He got a 100 on the vocab test from last week!
He's already finished every bit of the makeup work.
The next order of business is welcoming back the regular teacher and making her aware of the ground that was lost and needs to be regained without in any way to any degree making her feel guilty about taking the pittance of maternity leave to which she was absolutely entitled (and then some).
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:35 AM on December 5, 2018 [3 favorites]
I came here to make the point about the lessons your kid will take from this, and it looks like you handled it in a fantastic way. I clearly remember all the times my parents stepped in on my behalf when the school messed something up. It might be the root of my indignant litigiousness when I’m clearly being wronged, actually. Teaching him to have confidence when he’s right and an authority figure is blatantly messing up will be a great lesson. Other great lessons are that you will have his back in these situations, that people holding authority are not always right, that you shouldn’t get away with misusing people you have power over, that he is trusted, and that it matters for him to have justice. I guess a shitty—but stil valuable—lesson is that sometimes you just have to carry the water to dig yourself out of a bad situation that’s not your fault.
posted by lostburner at 10:44 PM on January 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by lostburner at 10:44 PM on January 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
If it is the end of the period and there is no way to change the grades, I would go up the chain and speak with the administration. No child should get F's without warning. Period.
As far as your child, fourth grade is a good time to work on time management and deadline skills. Starting in middle school (6th grade here), my boys were solely responsible for tracking assignments. My kids school had mandatory spiral planners for everyone. On top of that, they had a pretty extensive online school system to track things. The kids and the parents could see assignments and grades. It was a lifesaver for me, and the kids really took to the system (not that much different from what they use in college now:).
Good luck! And try not to freak out just yet. It is shocking to see those grades for the first time, but it will work out.
posted by jraz at 8:25 AM on November 27, 2018 [12 favorites]