God said to dump you.
August 24, 2018 9:21 AM Subscribe
I am (still) not over my friends jettisoning me as part of their religious upgrade. I know I'm not the only one this has happened to. Please comfort me with your story.
For many years, this couple were my husband's and my closest local friends. We met through our shared religious/cultural and political activities but came to socialize closely. They were a bit more religious than us - like we're maybe at a 4-5, and they were at about a 7 - but it was close enough that we were happily simpatico for many years, celebrating holidays at each others' homes, with our families and even extended families. I live far away from my own family and childhood friends, and their friendship was a great pleasure and comfort to me. (Yeah, I place more value on friendship than a lot of adults do, I know.)
A couple of years ago, they - all of a sudden - started getting more intensely religious. I don't want to put in too many details, but let's say they were taking it from a 7 to around a 9.5. And they stopped, all at once, returning our contacts. The holidays, that we'd always celebrated together, passed with no word. No fade-out, no "oh we're not going to be able to celebrate with you this year..." One day we're at their house drinking beer, and then: radio silence.
At first I thought they were busy when emails went unreturned. So I texted. And those went unreturned. So I called. Didn't pick up, no call back. It was clear it was not accidental. I can't think of another reason for this, other than the religious thing. It's been over a year now. A few days ago, on a whim, I thought, juuuust in case, just in case they really WERE just busy last summer, or maybe just in case something else was going on, just in case there's a bridge that can be mended, I texted her. I'd seen her post vacation pictures so I texted "miss you guys, are you back in town?" No response.
So that's it. And I'm so hurt. And I still miss them so much. And the approach of the holidays makes it sting all new-like. Like I literally found myself trying not to cry in the grocery store this morning.
If you've been friend-dumped as part of someone's religious change, it would comfort me to hear about it.
For many years, this couple were my husband's and my closest local friends. We met through our shared religious/cultural and political activities but came to socialize closely. They were a bit more religious than us - like we're maybe at a 4-5, and they were at about a 7 - but it was close enough that we were happily simpatico for many years, celebrating holidays at each others' homes, with our families and even extended families. I live far away from my own family and childhood friends, and their friendship was a great pleasure and comfort to me. (Yeah, I place more value on friendship than a lot of adults do, I know.)
A couple of years ago, they - all of a sudden - started getting more intensely religious. I don't want to put in too many details, but let's say they were taking it from a 7 to around a 9.5. And they stopped, all at once, returning our contacts. The holidays, that we'd always celebrated together, passed with no word. No fade-out, no "oh we're not going to be able to celebrate with you this year..." One day we're at their house drinking beer, and then: radio silence.
At first I thought they were busy when emails went unreturned. So I texted. And those went unreturned. So I called. Didn't pick up, no call back. It was clear it was not accidental. I can't think of another reason for this, other than the religious thing. It's been over a year now. A few days ago, on a whim, I thought, juuuust in case, just in case they really WERE just busy last summer, or maybe just in case something else was going on, just in case there's a bridge that can be mended, I texted her. I'd seen her post vacation pictures so I texted "miss you guys, are you back in town?" No response.
So that's it. And I'm so hurt. And I still miss them so much. And the approach of the holidays makes it sting all new-like. Like I literally found myself trying not to cry in the grocery store this morning.
If you've been friend-dumped as part of someone's religious change, it would comfort me to hear about it.
This post was deleted for the following reason: I am sorry this happened to you but there isn't a question in here. -- jessamyn
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This hits me hard. Friendship is one of the most important things to me, and I can totally understand why you feel so at a loss. You have all my sympathies, for what that's worth.
posted by Alensin at 9:48 AM on August 24, 2018 [1 favorite]