Where are all the queer pregnancy and parenting blogs?

June 29, 2018 1:41 PM

My partner and I (both cis queer women) are starting down the baby-making path. My way of managing stress is to read ALL THE THINGS and blogs from people who have gone before me make me feel normal and less alone. I'm looking for all the queer pregnancy and parenting resources, especially lived-experiences of choosing sperm donors, navigating being a visibly pregnant and also queer person, answering all the invasive questions I'm guessing are coming, raising cool woke kids, and like, cute nursery ideas that go a little beyond just "gender neutral is grey or yellow."

I loved the autostraddle's Baby T-Rex series, a lot of articles from A Practical Wedding, the old Offbeat Families was great, This article from Slate about being so visible in your family planning hit home like whoa.

But like, where are the cute little family blogs? Where is the queer version of hellobee? Where is that one article that made you excited to be a parent?

I want to avoid most things written by fertility centres to drum up business, and to absolutely steer clear of anything TERFy.

Send me in the direction of anything that's going to make me feel less like I'm the first person to go down this route so I feel less scared! I'd also love to hear happy stories of your journey if you're feeling extra generous.

throwaway email is [e-mail] if you'd like to reach out directly.

posted by anonymous to Human Relations (13 answers total)

The Offbeat blogs Family category might be a good place to start; I found a good amount of stuff on there looking for queer/poly/non-traditional lifestyle stuff.
posted by miratime at 2:02 PM on June 29, 2018

There's a lot of interesting content on the Longest Shortest Time podcast on queer pregnancy and parenting from a lot of different perspectives, for example this one and this one and this one.

Though different from your circumstances, the multipart series on the Accidental Gay Parents is good listening and inspiring in general. (And good luck on your journey!)
posted by vunder at 2:07 PM on June 29, 2018

This episode of Matt & Doree's Eggcellent Adventure features with a lesbian couple who talk pretty extensively about the particularities of the sperm donor + IVF process and everything else they did before they got to that point.
posted by wowenthusiast at 2:36 PM on June 29, 2018

Another podcast: The Gayest Show on Birth
posted by purpleclover at 3:39 PM on June 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

Reddit seems to dominate pregnancy nowadays and there is a subreddit for queer parents here: https://www.reddit.com/r/queerception/
posted by k8t at 4:57 PM on June 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

Hayley Jude’s Queer Mama series tracked a lot of these topics.
posted by freya_lamb at 5:30 PM on June 29, 2018

I wouldn't describe it as a cute little family blog, but you might like to read the Getting Pregnant with Michelle Tea series that ran on xoJane. Her posts dropped off quite a bit once she got pregnant, so most of it focuses on the process of getting pregnant, but she covers a lot of ground there (trying DIY insemination with a friend's sperm, meeting her partner and doing IVF with her partner's eggs and a known donor's sperm, and also a miscarriage). Best of luck to you and your partner!
posted by radiomayonnaise at 7:29 PM on June 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

Not a blog, but pick yourself up a copy of Pregnant Butch, a graphic novel autobiography piece on (you'll never guess!) being pregnant as a butch queer woman.
posted by bile and syntax at 8:15 PM on June 29, 2018

The Reddit queerception community liked above also has a pretty active discord (linked from the subreddit). There's a Facebook group called Queer Parents with 18k members - a majority of the posts are about parenting, but there's a bunch of stuff about making a baby and pregnancy too.

My wife and I are both cis queer women too, and we have a 2yr old (conceived via directed donor, I carried). Please feel free to memail me if you want to chat 😀
posted by insectosaurus at 4:40 AM on June 30, 2018

If you’re open to Facebook groups, Queer Parents has lots of queer folks (18k+ currently!) with similar experiences and goals. They also have regional meet ups and sub groups which is really nice. (Full disclosure: my friend founded the group. They worked super hard at it and cultivated I think a very positive, well-moderated, inclusive space.)

The group grew out of a queer family photo and essay series The Pride & Joy Project which may perhaps be a good source of warm fuzzy queer fam feels too! (Second disclosure: I wrote an essay on the goal trans motherhood for them.)

Hope you find encouragement and support and excitement one way or another! :)
posted by elephantsvanish at 6:24 AM on June 30, 2018

Also check the blue: A family, not a pregnant man.
posted by bile and syntax at 10:21 AM on June 30, 2018

One more queer parenting podcast for you: If These Ovaries Could Talk is hosted by two lesbians who are married (not to each other, to other lesbians) and have had kids. They interview other queer folks about their experiences with conception, pregnancy, and birth.
posted by possibilityleft at 9:26 PM on June 30, 2018

This Mummy Can is by two mums, who also have chronic health conditions, and write about all of those things as well as routine parenting stuff.
posted by penguin pie at 1:19 PM on July 1, 2018