Curly haired Mefites, help me with my daughter
May 1, 2018 2:17 PM Subscribe
My daughter has has just become curly haired. I do not know how to care and maintain curly hair. What advice, technique, methods or what you wish happened for you on the curly hair front?
My daughter had straight hair until she turned eleven this year. Here is a picture of curl level for context. She likes her curls and right now wants to grow out her hair but that could change. Any advice, recommendations, products, method, pitfalls to be avoided, whatever is appreciated in this learning journey of the newly curly haired.
My daughter had straight hair until she turned eleven this year. Here is a picture of curl level for context. She likes her curls and right now wants to grow out her hair but that could change. Any advice, recommendations, products, method, pitfalls to be avoided, whatever is appreciated in this learning journey of the newly curly haired.
Best answer: The same thing happened to me when I hit puberty and I ended up with a frizzy mess for years because I kept trying to treat my hair like my mother and sister did - so good on you for asking! It's really basic, but the big thing is: touch it as little as possible. Especially don't brush it, and don't even comb it when it's dry or it'll just get staticky and bushy. Instead, comb it in the shower, keep it really well moisturized, and if necessary use a leave-in product that helps define the curls.
posted by northernish at 2:35 PM on May 1, 2018 [8 favorites]
posted by northernish at 2:35 PM on May 1, 2018 [8 favorites]
+10 to Weeping_Angel on comb/detangler. My eldest needed shampoo only at the roots during teen years, she rarely uses it now but conditioner was a must. And find a good stylist that works with curly hair and tip her well! I cannot tell you the anxiety and stress of a bad trim on a tween/teen.
posted by ReiFlinx at 2:41 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by ReiFlinx at 2:41 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
Oh, and don’t wash her hair every day. It will get too dry, and again, frizzy mess. Conditioner is okay. Some people never use shampoo at all. Google “no-poo” for that; I’ve never found it to work with my hair, but Y(daughter’s)HMV.
posted by Weeping_angel at 2:42 PM on May 1, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by Weeping_angel at 2:42 PM on May 1, 2018 [5 favorites]
Oh God, yes +1000 to ReiFlinx’s advice to find a GOOD curly hair stylist. Don’t just believe them when they say they can cut curls. (We don’t talk about the THREE different times I came out looking like a Christmas tree because I asked for layers and they thought that meant just two of them...) Check reviews and look at pictures. If you have curly-haired friends, ask them. We know and we understand. And if we have someone, we’re happy to sing their praises. (If you let us know where you are, someone might know someone. If you’re in Phoenix, AZ, for example, I’ve got a guy. )
posted by Weeping_angel at 2:48 PM on May 1, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by Weeping_angel at 2:48 PM on May 1, 2018 [4 favorites]
Best answer: Cute! I have big curls like hers, and they showed up when I was a tween/teen. Layers will help a lot with control, and I find the sweet spot for my hair is between chin length and mid-back (bra strap length). Too much longer than that and it gets too heavy and the curl pulls out; it becomes a wavy, frizzy mess.
I use the plop method to dry my hair, with a towel (not a t-shirt). I take the towel off while my hair is still damp and let it air-dry the rest of the way while I sleep. I do NOT use a hair dryer of any kind and I never ever touch it while it's drying! I use either mousse or sea salt spray, depending on how much volume I want, usually followed by a curl creme. On non-wash days, I refresh my curls by spraying a little extra sea salt spray or by putting a little argan oil on the ends. I style by turning my whole (completely dry!) head upside down, giving it a good shake and a couple scrunches.
Definitely find someone who's good with curly hair, but that doesn't have to mean spending a fortune! I have actually had some of my best-ever haircuts at Supercuts.
posted by assenav at 3:05 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
I use the plop method to dry my hair, with a towel (not a t-shirt). I take the towel off while my hair is still damp and let it air-dry the rest of the way while I sleep. I do NOT use a hair dryer of any kind and I never ever touch it while it's drying! I use either mousse or sea salt spray, depending on how much volume I want, usually followed by a curl creme. On non-wash days, I refresh my curls by spraying a little extra sea salt spray or by putting a little argan oil on the ends. I style by turning my whole (completely dry!) head upside down, giving it a good shake and a couple scrunches.
Definitely find someone who's good with curly hair, but that doesn't have to mean spending a fortune! I have actually had some of my best-ever haircuts at Supercuts.
posted by assenav at 3:05 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Don't brush it dry! My hair was poofy and frizzy for basically my whole life until I discovered this oh... a year ago. I also comb in the shower when it's wet and coated in conditioner.
posted by raspberrE at 3:06 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by raspberrE at 3:06 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Biggest piece of advice not offered so far - when it gets long enough, loosly bind it in a top ponytail (the pineapple technique) for sleeping. It makes a huge difference in minimizing tangles/matting, and helps keep the hair less oily between washes.
posted by smokysunday at 3:08 PM on May 1, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by smokysunday at 3:08 PM on May 1, 2018 [4 favorites]
Best answer: I have roughly the same level of curls at that length. What works best for me is conditioner (Pantene and Tresseme are my go-to common ones) and brushing it out with a boar bristle brush while it's still wet.
Drying it turns it into a dandelion-esque puff and is something to be avoided for me.
posted by Candleman at 3:10 PM on May 1, 2018
Drying it turns it into a dandelion-esque puff and is something to be avoided for me.
posted by Candleman at 3:10 PM on May 1, 2018
Target has a good choice of hair products: I like renpure argan oil and kinky curly custard.
Yeah, finding a stylist that makes you feel good about wanting curly hair (NOT the OMG blowouts are so beautiful) helps but can be tough.
posted by typecloud at 3:10 PM on May 1, 2018
Yeah, finding a stylist that makes you feel good about wanting curly hair (NOT the OMG blowouts are so beautiful) helps but can be tough.
posted by typecloud at 3:10 PM on May 1, 2018
Response by poster: We recently moved to Sydney. I can get product shipped, if necessary. On the conditioner front, does she just use then rinse? How about dandruff?
posted by jadepearl at 3:14 PM on May 1, 2018
posted by jadepearl at 3:14 PM on May 1, 2018
Best answer: Indisputable, inarguable basics:
-Never comb after showering. You can comb before showering, you can comb during the shower, but once you're out, DO NOT TOUCH YOUR HAIR WITH A COMB. Personally, I detangle right after applying conditioner.
-When using a comb, use a wide-toothed one.
-Find a good curly stylist.
-If you blow-dry, use a diffuser.
-Avoid using heat. Nothing ruins curly hair like heat.
-Never use a normal towel on her hair. Either a microfiber one or an old shirt.
Common techniques that people will tell you are essential but are not actually essential but may work for you:
-Cut down on shampooing. Consider using a gentler shampoo made for curly hair. If you want, you can co-wash in between (never worked for me though). There are people with curls who do shampoo every day though. YMMV.
-Add a curl styler to her routine, to be applied after she gets out of the shower. But honestly, if she has healthy hair and doesn't mind a bit of frizz, this can be skipped, especially since the wrong styler can often cause build-up or a waxy texture. I don't currently use one. YMMV.
-Look up 'plopping' if you want to find a mid-way between the inconvenience of the air-dry and the damage of blow-drying. Can be finicky. YMMV.
-Look up the scrunch technique and use it when applying conditioner or products. Honestly, this is the only thing I do differently from a straight-haired person beyond not washing my hair everyday. But YMMV.
-Buy a silk or satin pillowcase to cut down on frizz. I have not done this and can't testify if it's worth it. YMMV.
If you really want to go down the rabbit-hole of curly hair care (and it's a very, very deep rabbit hole): naturallycurly.com.
As for product recs: I've tried a lot of expensive products but the best conditioner I've used is Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle for $4. I tend to get build-up easily, so I alternate between a $2 clarifying shampoo (Suave Daily Clarifying) and the gentler Elucence Moisture Benefits.
posted by perplexion at 3:18 PM on May 1, 2018 [5 favorites]
-Never comb after showering. You can comb before showering, you can comb during the shower, but once you're out, DO NOT TOUCH YOUR HAIR WITH A COMB. Personally, I detangle right after applying conditioner.
-When using a comb, use a wide-toothed one.
-Find a good curly stylist.
-If you blow-dry, use a diffuser.
-Avoid using heat. Nothing ruins curly hair like heat.
-Never use a normal towel on her hair. Either a microfiber one or an old shirt.
Common techniques that people will tell you are essential but are not actually essential but may work for you:
-Cut down on shampooing. Consider using a gentler shampoo made for curly hair. If you want, you can co-wash in between (never worked for me though). There are people with curls who do shampoo every day though. YMMV.
-Add a curl styler to her routine, to be applied after she gets out of the shower. But honestly, if she has healthy hair and doesn't mind a bit of frizz, this can be skipped, especially since the wrong styler can often cause build-up or a waxy texture. I don't currently use one. YMMV.
-Look up 'plopping' if you want to find a mid-way between the inconvenience of the air-dry and the damage of blow-drying. Can be finicky. YMMV.
-Look up the scrunch technique and use it when applying conditioner or products. Honestly, this is the only thing I do differently from a straight-haired person beyond not washing my hair everyday. But YMMV.
-Buy a silk or satin pillowcase to cut down on frizz. I have not done this and can't testify if it's worth it. YMMV.
If you really want to go down the rabbit-hole of curly hair care (and it's a very, very deep rabbit hole): naturallycurly.com.
As for product recs: I've tried a lot of expensive products but the best conditioner I've used is Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle for $4. I tend to get build-up easily, so I alternate between a $2 clarifying shampoo (Suave Daily Clarifying) and the gentler Elucence Moisture Benefits.
posted by perplexion at 3:18 PM on May 1, 2018 [5 favorites]
Wash with shampoo, add conditioner. Wash with just water, add just a little conditioner. The shampoo plus conditioner in a single product never worked all that well for me.
The specific brands don't matter so much as trying a couple things on the local market and seeing what works best. As you might see from some of the very different responses, similar looking hair can respond very differently for different people and there's a certain amount of trial and error to find what works for each individual. It may even vary based on humidity and specific length.
posted by Candleman at 3:21 PM on May 1, 2018
The specific brands don't matter so much as trying a couple things on the local market and seeing what works best. As you might see from some of the very different responses, similar looking hair can respond very differently for different people and there's a certain amount of trial and error to find what works for each individual. It may even vary based on humidity and specific length.
posted by Candleman at 3:21 PM on May 1, 2018
Best answer: I discovered that my poofy, frizzy hair was wavy/curly at the ripe old age of 33, so I am obviously still figuring things out. I think the most important lesson I've learned is that technique matters more than product. This means no brushing, and touching my hair as little as possible after I've plopped. In addition to the other techniques mentioned, I also really like "squish to condish" which encourages curl hydration/formation.
For about a year I was using the "Curly Girl method" which means no sulfates in shampoo and correspondingly no silicones in conditioner. The cheapest product combination was the Suave conditioner as a cleanser followed by Tresemme Botanique no-silicone conditioner.
This worked great until I moved to a new town and had a really bad dandruff/dermatitis flareup and had to go on a medicated shampoo. My hair is definitely dryer with shampoo but honestly my curls aren't much worse. I do a deep condition every so often to counteract the shampoo.
posted by muddgirl at 3:34 PM on May 1, 2018
For about a year I was using the "Curly Girl method" which means no sulfates in shampoo and correspondingly no silicones in conditioner. The cheapest product combination was the Suave conditioner as a cleanser followed by Tresemme Botanique no-silicone conditioner.
This worked great until I moved to a new town and had a really bad dandruff/dermatitis flareup and had to go on a medicated shampoo. My hair is definitely dryer with shampoo but honestly my curls aren't much worse. I do a deep condition every so often to counteract the shampoo.
posted by muddgirl at 3:34 PM on May 1, 2018
Best answer: Your daughter has beautiful curls! I have very wavy 2B/C hair, so not as curly as hers, but the curly care works best for my hair. Hers looks like a 3A maybe? I'd find a DivaCurl stylist in your area; they seem to know best.
Best thing for me to cut down on frizz and define the wave/curl is to use moisturizer, and lots of it! I wash and condition a couple times a week with Kirkland's Moisture shampoo, which is free of sulfates and phalates. It's the best shampoo I've ever used, based on some expensive brand I forgot the name of. Pharmacy or something.
Sometimes I condition a second time in the shower with Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie (orange bottle, at Target). This stuff is EXCELLENT at hydrating - it literally disappears into your hair and my hair LOVES it.
Then I get out, use a Turbie Towel, and leave that on for a bit while getting ready for work - about 5-10 minutes.
I then flip my hair around like I'm headbanging to separate the waves/curls, style my hair how I want it (but touching it as little as possible) and scrunch the curls in place by using a pea-sized amount of R&Co High Dive. This is effectively moisturizing a third time (yes, a third time), but it keeps my hair from frizzing out and keeps the wave/curl together.
Moisture is the biggest thing.
posted by onecircleaday at 4:04 PM on May 1, 2018
Best thing for me to cut down on frizz and define the wave/curl is to use moisturizer, and lots of it! I wash and condition a couple times a week with Kirkland's Moisture shampoo, which is free of sulfates and phalates. It's the best shampoo I've ever used, based on some expensive brand I forgot the name of. Pharmacy or something.
Sometimes I condition a second time in the shower with Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie (orange bottle, at Target). This stuff is EXCELLENT at hydrating - it literally disappears into your hair and my hair LOVES it.
Then I get out, use a Turbie Towel, and leave that on for a bit while getting ready for work - about 5-10 minutes.
I then flip my hair around like I'm headbanging to separate the waves/curls, style my hair how I want it (but touching it as little as possible) and scrunch the curls in place by using a pea-sized amount of R&Co High Dive. This is effectively moisturizing a third time (yes, a third time), but it keeps my hair from frizzing out and keeps the wave/curl together.
Moisture is the biggest thing.
posted by onecircleaday at 4:04 PM on May 1, 2018
Best answer: Things I use on my curly and sometimes dandruffy hair and fine hair
- Definitely don't wash more than 2 times a week.
- I do not spend money on fancy shampoos or conditioners. I've bought store brand conditioners and they are just fine.
- To control my dandruff I use a natural brand that contains neem oil.
- I DO spend money for nice styling products.
- I start with a light application of leave-in conditioner. Again, I have fine hair and don't want too weighty a product.
- Then I like to use a mousse or very light gel. The Deva brand mousse is pretty good.
- I really, really love Bumble & Bumble anti-humidity gel-oil. This stuff help my hair keep it's curl without any crunch.
- I rarely use a hair dryer. My hair always is less frizzy if I don't. But if I absolutely need to give my hair a head start on drying (too cold to go out with wet hair, or need to look nice fast), then I use a diffuser and turn my head upside down to blow dry. I gently lift the curls to my scalp (while upside down) and hold the diffuser there for 20-30 seconds. Do that in sections. My stylist referrs to this as "hair yoga."
posted by brookeb at 4:05 PM on May 1, 2018
- Definitely don't wash more than 2 times a week.
- I do not spend money on fancy shampoos or conditioners. I've bought store brand conditioners and they are just fine.
- To control my dandruff I use a natural brand that contains neem oil.
- I DO spend money for nice styling products.
- I start with a light application of leave-in conditioner. Again, I have fine hair and don't want too weighty a product.
- Then I like to use a mousse or very light gel. The Deva brand mousse is pretty good.
- I really, really love Bumble & Bumble anti-humidity gel-oil. This stuff help my hair keep it's curl without any crunch.
- I rarely use a hair dryer. My hair always is less frizzy if I don't. But if I absolutely need to give my hair a head start on drying (too cold to go out with wet hair, or need to look nice fast), then I use a diffuser and turn my head upside down to blow dry. I gently lift the curls to my scalp (while upside down) and hold the diffuser there for 20-30 seconds. Do that in sections. My stylist referrs to this as "hair yoga."
posted by brookeb at 4:05 PM on May 1, 2018
Best answer: I discovered I had curly hair when I was 35ish (!) in an Ask Metafilter thread about how to make my hair less of a disaster. If your kid is a no-maintenance kind of kid, this advice from DarlingBri is how I get my hair looking decent every day (my product of choice is a small amount of Aveda Be Curly, Bumble and Bumble Curl Creme or a couple small poofs of generic curl mousse from the grocery store if I have run out of the fancier options). It takes about 90 seconds. If I don't shower in the morning I wet it with a spray container of water and add a little more product.
posted by charmedimsure at 4:09 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by charmedimsure at 4:09 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Kudos to your daughter for wanting to embrace her natural texture! I'm sure you've already figured out based on the responses here that some things work for some folks while they don't for others. As a person with essentially the same texture and length as your daughter has, here are a few things I do/don't do:
- I don't use any products with sulfates or silicones. I detangle in the shower and don't use a comb/brush after I shower. Currently, I wash & conditiion every other day. I wet my hair every day, however.
- After I get out of the shower, I gently wrap my hair with a regular towel or microfiber towel. The results ARE better with the latter, but sometimes I can't be bothered. I leave said towel on my head for approximately 3 minutes.
- After removing the towel, I sparingly use styling products contain shea butter and natural oils, but I am careful not to put too much in my hair so that it doesn't get greasy. In my day 2/non-wash day hair, I hardly use any product. I use the scrunch method to get the product in. Once the product is distributed, I take 1-2 minutes to then take individual curls and twist them in the direction I'd like them to dry.
- I air dry my hair most days. Some days I may need to get out of the house quicker so I'll briefly use a dryer with diffuser attached on the low setting.
- Note: I never go to bed with wet hair hoping to wake up with great looking hair. If I do this, I end up with my hair going in all kinds of nutty directions. In order to get the style I want, I have to start with wet hair.
Good luck on this journey! It typically takes a few tries to find the right products and methods, so I wish you both patience along the way!
posted by singinginmychains at 4:09 PM on May 1, 2018
- I don't use any products with sulfates or silicones. I detangle in the shower and don't use a comb/brush after I shower. Currently, I wash & conditiion every other day. I wet my hair every day, however.
- After I get out of the shower, I gently wrap my hair with a regular towel or microfiber towel. The results ARE better with the latter, but sometimes I can't be bothered. I leave said towel on my head for approximately 3 minutes.
- After removing the towel, I sparingly use styling products contain shea butter and natural oils, but I am careful not to put too much in my hair so that it doesn't get greasy. In my day 2/non-wash day hair, I hardly use any product. I use the scrunch method to get the product in. Once the product is distributed, I take 1-2 minutes to then take individual curls and twist them in the direction I'd like them to dry.
- I air dry my hair most days. Some days I may need to get out of the house quicker so I'll briefly use a dryer with diffuser attached on the low setting.
- Note: I never go to bed with wet hair hoping to wake up with great looking hair. If I do this, I end up with my hair going in all kinds of nutty directions. In order to get the style I want, I have to start with wet hair.
Good luck on this journey! It typically takes a few tries to find the right products and methods, so I wish you both patience along the way!
posted by singinginmychains at 4:09 PM on May 1, 2018
Best answer: I'm going to repeat other people here, I'm sure, but I have curly hair similar to your daughter's and this is what works for me.
1. Wash 2-3 times a week.
2. DON'T USE SHAMPOO. Use a sulfate-free, paraben free, "cleansing conditioner" or "co-wash." Happy to give product recs if you MeMail me, but I haven't found much of a difference between products once I included those criteria.
3. Comb hair in shower if necessary (using fingers is also fine if that works). NEVER USE A BRUSH. EVER. After shower, use a microfiber towel to blot out excessive moisture. Keep it a little wet, though.
4. Add a styling cream (not gel, not oil, not mousse) specifically for curly hair, again sulfate and paraben free. This will take some product experimentation - everyone's hair likes a slightly different formula. Put about a nickel to quarter-sized amount in your hands, rub together, and distribute through hair with a mix of palm and finger action.
5. Turn head upside down and scrunch/twirl hair. You want to let the hair reset and all clump together, so that when it dries it goes into its natural curl pattern. Let air dry.
She can also try sleeping on a silk pillowcase which helps with frizz.
For what's it worth, I've tried a bunch of different hair stylists and I haven't found that using Ouidad or Devacut is much of a difference for this kind of thick, wavy-curly hair texture. I think they're better for long hair or people whose curls form a big triangle.
posted by ohsnapdragon at 4:18 PM on May 1, 2018
1. Wash 2-3 times a week.
2. DON'T USE SHAMPOO. Use a sulfate-free, paraben free, "cleansing conditioner" or "co-wash." Happy to give product recs if you MeMail me, but I haven't found much of a difference between products once I included those criteria.
3. Comb hair in shower if necessary (using fingers is also fine if that works). NEVER USE A BRUSH. EVER. After shower, use a microfiber towel to blot out excessive moisture. Keep it a little wet, though.
4. Add a styling cream (not gel, not oil, not mousse) specifically for curly hair, again sulfate and paraben free. This will take some product experimentation - everyone's hair likes a slightly different formula. Put about a nickel to quarter-sized amount in your hands, rub together, and distribute through hair with a mix of palm and finger action.
5. Turn head upside down and scrunch/twirl hair. You want to let the hair reset and all clump together, so that when it dries it goes into its natural curl pattern. Let air dry.
She can also try sleeping on a silk pillowcase which helps with frizz.
For what's it worth, I've tried a bunch of different hair stylists and I haven't found that using Ouidad or Devacut is much of a difference for this kind of thick, wavy-curly hair texture. I think they're better for long hair or people whose curls form a big triangle.
posted by ohsnapdragon at 4:18 PM on May 1, 2018
Best answer: Get the book Curly Girl. I read it in my 20s and cried because someone finally understood my hair! It specifically has a lot of information for parents caring for curly kids, which I totally wish my arrow-straight-haired mom had had available to her to head off years and years painful curl-wrestling to try to make it look neat, with entirely the wrong techniques!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:29 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:29 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
Best answer: A lot of stylists will tell you they can cut curly, only for you to discover afterwards that they can't. This can lead to an extraordinary number of problems, and it's why I spent the last three years growing out my hair to all one length. That said, the best way to find a good curly stylist is to find someone with similar hair (curl level and thickness) to your daughter's and then go see that person's stylist.
Also be careful with cleansing conditioners and dry shampoo. Both can block the pores on the scalp and lead to hair loss.
posted by Violet Blue at 5:24 PM on May 1, 2018
Also be careful with cleansing conditioners and dry shampoo. Both can block the pores on the scalp and lead to hair loss.
posted by Violet Blue at 5:24 PM on May 1, 2018
Best answer: Talk to other local moms with happy curly haired girls. I collared one at a party and she gave me great tips for our local weather conditions. In NZ my daughter's hair is soft fluffy clouds, here it's little glossy ringlets. Local weather makes a big difference to curls.
A+ to less frequent washing, the book Curly Girl and being careful with drying. I usually air dry with a brief towel scrunch. The hair dryer is only for rare occasions when she wants flat hair.
Try a round brush with big set bristles. That's my kid's favourite for wrangling her curls. She likes to go 1940s and brush them in waves to one side and the brush will let them pop right back up. No comb.
The biggest difference is a bottle of hair coconut oil. We put about a palmful into her hair every 2-3 days when it looks fried, mostly the ends, working it in till her hair is a slick smooth cap. She goes to sleep and wakes up with huge soft bouncy curls. I have to change pillowcases more but it's worth it.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 5:26 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
A+ to less frequent washing, the book Curly Girl and being careful with drying. I usually air dry with a brief towel scrunch. The hair dryer is only for rare occasions when she wants flat hair.
Try a round brush with big set bristles. That's my kid's favourite for wrangling her curls. She likes to go 1940s and brush them in waves to one side and the brush will let them pop right back up. No comb.
The biggest difference is a bottle of hair coconut oil. We put about a palmful into her hair every 2-3 days when it looks fried, mostly the ends, working it in till her hair is a slick smooth cap. She goes to sleep and wakes up with huge soft bouncy curls. I have to change pillowcases more but it's worth it.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 5:26 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]
Seconding The Curly Girl Handbook. I got the kindle version for a few bucks. It has a chapter specifically for parents of Curly Girls
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 5:27 PM on May 1, 2018
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 5:27 PM on May 1, 2018
Best answer: Beautiful hair!
In addition to the Curly Girl Handbook (which is excellent) I like the website Naturally Curly, which has a TON of ideas for styles, products, healthy hair care.
The number one rule is no hairbrush, EVER. Wide-tooth detangler comb. Be gentle! Curls will snarl if you attack them, and then you end up with a rats' nest at the base of your skull that your mother has to cut off with a pair of kitchen shears. Ask me how I know.
The number two rule is minimize hair dryers. I don't own one. If you must use one, use the lowest possible heat setting and hold it as far away as possible from the head. Airdrying is best. I use a Turkish towel to squeeze out the actual drippy hair immediately post-shower, then let it be. When it's about halfway dry, I run my fingers through the roots to lift them up a bit and avoid flathead. Other than that, no touching!
Depending on length, she may find that the curls get weighed down/weighed out. Picking a hairstyle/stylist is fraught for curly girls. Generally, should be cut dry, because when wet it'll seem at least twice as long as it really is.
I do use shampoo, VO5 (specifically the moisturizing ones) and have gotten a ton of compliments on shiny healthy hair. Bonus, it is super cheap, at least in the States. I once bought the "clarifying" shampoo + conditioner two-pack because it was all I could find, and my hair looked terrible. Some people like the no-poo or co-wash method. She may have to experiment a bit to see what works well for her. I wash every other day in the summer, about once a week in the winter. One trick I learned was to apply conditioner only to the hank of hair (not the roots), leave it on as long as possible, and do a final rinse in cold water before stepping out of the shower. (That last is brutal in winter.)
Also, if it hasn't been said enough, good on you for asking this question. I'm the curly daughter of a formerly-curly-now-permanently-frizzy mother who spent her twenties trying to unlearn the bad hair habits I'd been taught.
posted by basalganglia at 6:14 PM on May 1, 2018
In addition to the Curly Girl Handbook (which is excellent) I like the website Naturally Curly, which has a TON of ideas for styles, products, healthy hair care.
The number one rule is no hairbrush, EVER. Wide-tooth detangler comb. Be gentle! Curls will snarl if you attack them, and then you end up with a rats' nest at the base of your skull that your mother has to cut off with a pair of kitchen shears. Ask me how I know.
The number two rule is minimize hair dryers. I don't own one. If you must use one, use the lowest possible heat setting and hold it as far away as possible from the head. Airdrying is best. I use a Turkish towel to squeeze out the actual drippy hair immediately post-shower, then let it be. When it's about halfway dry, I run my fingers through the roots to lift them up a bit and avoid flathead. Other than that, no touching!
Depending on length, she may find that the curls get weighed down/weighed out. Picking a hairstyle/stylist is fraught for curly girls. Generally, should be cut dry, because when wet it'll seem at least twice as long as it really is.
I do use shampoo, VO5 (specifically the moisturizing ones) and have gotten a ton of compliments on shiny healthy hair. Bonus, it is super cheap, at least in the States. I once bought the "clarifying" shampoo + conditioner two-pack because it was all I could find, and my hair looked terrible. Some people like the no-poo or co-wash method. She may have to experiment a bit to see what works well for her. I wash every other day in the summer, about once a week in the winter. One trick I learned was to apply conditioner only to the hank of hair (not the roots), leave it on as long as possible, and do a final rinse in cold water before stepping out of the shower. (That last is brutal in winter.)
Also, if it hasn't been said enough, good on you for asking this question. I'm the curly daughter of a formerly-curly-now-permanently-frizzy mother who spent her twenties trying to unlearn the bad hair habits I'd been taught.
posted by basalganglia at 6:14 PM on May 1, 2018
Best answer: My hair is not quite as curly, but it has the curly "texture." I stopped using conditioner when I was 14 and then years later discovered "no poo" (linked earlier) is a whole thing. Same with brushing. Actually, my mom's hair is more like your daughter's and until she started straightening it a few years ago, she used to use an Afro pick for her hair, which works really well for post-conditioning combing. But I think any wide-toothed comb would work similarly. You can really only comb curly hair when it's wet.
My old standby conditioner is Garnier Fructis Sleek. It's been paraben/sulfate-free since before that was a thing, and it's nice because it's cheap and available everywhere. I have some friends who swear by Deva Curl which is both a line of products and a method of curly hair cutting/styling. You may want to look for a Deva Curl certified stylist nearby (also look at online reviews) and when you go to the salon, buy a few products to try out, if she's interested in that (maybe just conditioner for now).
posted by lunasol at 6:15 PM on May 1, 2018
My old standby conditioner is Garnier Fructis Sleek. It's been paraben/sulfate-free since before that was a thing, and it's nice because it's cheap and available everywhere. I have some friends who swear by Deva Curl which is both a line of products and a method of curly hair cutting/styling. You may want to look for a Deva Curl certified stylist nearby (also look at online reviews) and when you go to the salon, buy a few products to try out, if she's interested in that (maybe just conditioner for now).
posted by lunasol at 6:15 PM on May 1, 2018
Best answer: The best way to detangle curly hair is with FINGERS.
posted by brujita at 8:22 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by brujita at 8:22 PM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]
Best answer: One thing I do for optimal curls is to shower and do my hair routine at night. My hair curls the best overnight. When I do it in the morning I get very mixed results.
posted by toomanycurls at 8:53 PM on May 1, 2018
posted by toomanycurls at 8:53 PM on May 1, 2018
Best answer: As puberty struck, I too, became a curly girl, and tried for years to straighten my hair. If you've ever heard of ppl wearing orange juice or beer cans for curlers, or ironing their hair (!), yup, that's how we did it when I was a teen. Blowing my hair dry and straight led to more split ends and frizz, which is when I learned not to apply heat to my hair and to never brush or comb it. Years passed and I finally found a stylist who really does know how to cut curls so I didn't end up with a triangle head like Alice in the comic strip Dilbert or a "bell". My curls are closest to 2B/C, curly when wet, wavy when dry; my hair texture is thin and fine.
Now my regimen is thus: I wash my hair 3 times a week, gently with both Head and Shoulders and Sauve Clarifying shampoos (at the same time) and rinse thoroughly. Apply conditioner, rinse. Squeeze but do not towel dry. Then, I sit down with a towel on the floor between my feet that my wet hair can drip onto. I bend over and gently work a squirt of Redken Curvaceous Ringlet Anti-Frizz through my drippy hair with my fingers, and then I squirt about a ping-pong ball-sized glop of Paul Mitchell Awapuhi Wild Ginger Hydrocream Whip into my hands and work that through my hair from roots to tips. Then with head and hair still hanging, I use a microfiber towel and "scrunch" my hair by handfuls. Then I whip my head back upright, stand up, finish my after-shower routine and never touch my hair again until it's time for the next shampoo.
posted by Lynsey at 9:42 PM on May 1, 2018
Now my regimen is thus: I wash my hair 3 times a week, gently with both Head and Shoulders and Sauve Clarifying shampoos (at the same time) and rinse thoroughly. Apply conditioner, rinse. Squeeze but do not towel dry. Then, I sit down with a towel on the floor between my feet that my wet hair can drip onto. I bend over and gently work a squirt of Redken Curvaceous Ringlet Anti-Frizz through my drippy hair with my fingers, and then I squirt about a ping-pong ball-sized glop of Paul Mitchell Awapuhi Wild Ginger Hydrocream Whip into my hands and work that through my hair from roots to tips. Then with head and hair still hanging, I use a microfiber towel and "scrunch" my hair by handfuls. Then I whip my head back upright, stand up, finish my after-shower routine and never touch my hair again until it's time for the next shampoo.
posted by Lynsey at 9:42 PM on May 1, 2018
Best answer: I think you've gotten a lot of good advice so far (YMMV a lot on the shampoo/conditioner debate, personally I shampoo on the reg because otherwise my hair is a greaseball), but one thing to mention that I didn't figure out until I got older is that the shorter your hair is, the more it's going to curl, just because hair has a weight to it. I've had curls all my life, but they didn't really come to life until I cut my hair to chin length, and it's even curlier now that I have a men's haircut. It looks like your kiddo doesn't mind short hair, but it takes FOREVER to grow it out and she might be disappointed by the result if it gets longer than shoulder-length-ish. And when I say forever, I mean, it took me like 8 years to grow out some ill-advised bangs to shoulder-length (bangs are not a good idea, you look poodle-y). I use a pick to comb wet after the shower and never comb dry or use a brush. Good luck!
posted by possibilityleft at 4:58 AM on May 2, 2018
posted by possibilityleft at 4:58 AM on May 2, 2018
Best answer: You're getting a lot of capslocked advice here that doesn't apply to all curls. Your kid will probably need to do some experimenting to find out what works with her particular texture. I'll tell you what I've learned in 33 years as a 2C curly-haired person.
* Brushing or even touching my hair much while it's dry just turns it into a fluffball.
* I can use a wide-toothed comb to comb my hair after I get out of the shower. I then part it and twist it gently into ropes (maybe 20 sections all over my head). I let the ropes air dry and then gently fluff them so they look less like curling-iron curls and more natural.
* I use the DevaCurl DeLight shampoo and conditioner and I really love it. I rarely need to use any additional product on my hair after showering. Sometimes I use a very light leave-in conditioner or anti-frizz spray. Any kind of mousse or gel just weighs my hair down and makes it crunchy.
* I wash my hair two or three times a week, but I have to get it wet every day to style it properly.
* It is indeed essential to find a stylist who is experienced at cutting curly hair. You can google this or ask people you meet who have great curly hair who their stylist is.
posted by woodvine at 7:23 AM on May 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
* Brushing or even touching my hair much while it's dry just turns it into a fluffball.
* I can use a wide-toothed comb to comb my hair after I get out of the shower. I then part it and twist it gently into ropes (maybe 20 sections all over my head). I let the ropes air dry and then gently fluff them so they look less like curling-iron curls and more natural.
* I use the DevaCurl DeLight shampoo and conditioner and I really love it. I rarely need to use any additional product on my hair after showering. Sometimes I use a very light leave-in conditioner or anti-frizz spray. Any kind of mousse or gel just weighs my hair down and makes it crunchy.
* I wash my hair two or three times a week, but I have to get it wet every day to style it properly.
* It is indeed essential to find a stylist who is experienced at cutting curly hair. You can google this or ask people you meet who have great curly hair who their stylist is.
posted by woodvine at 7:23 AM on May 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
Best answer: My curly hair is also very fine, so my experience may not apply in full.
Products: Using sulfate-free shampoo and conditioner seems to have made a small but noticeable improvement in appearance and manageability for my hair. I also use moisturizing shampoo and conditioner, but nothing too heavy (eg. straight Moroccan oil treatment will weigh down my hair too much, because of how fine it is). This has also led to improvements, slightly more noticeable for me than using sulfate-free products. I get the fairly basic sulfate-free and moisturizing (eg. with coconut oil) products - I go for "organic"-ish products as much as possible, but don't spend a lot of money for the super high end ones. I also don't use a wide variety of styling products. Without bleach or dye, I washed my hair with shampoo once or twice a week, occasionally used a leave-in conditioner or very light curl cream, and only rarely used conditioner in the shower. Bleaching and dying my hair really dries it out, requiring daily use of both in-shower conditioner and something leave-in after showering (but still shampooing only once, or at most twice, per week).
Process: I often comb my hair with a wide tooth comb as the very first thing I do after getting out of the shower, the do some very minor styling (I've never been big on hair product or any style that required more than a minute or two of fussing; I tend to do half-assed finger curls rather than scrunching though). I never towel my hair, nor do I ever blow dry it (even with a diffuser) - it's air drying all the way for me (see: very fine hair). This means that half an hour to an hour later I do a tiny little bit of flooding: turn my head upside down, just break up the largest clumps of curls with my fingers if necessary, give my hair a brief shake. But itherwise, like others, I avoid touching or fussing with it when dry.
I find that I need to get my hair thoroughly wet every morning in order to have it not look matted down. I don't do anything in particular with it while sleeping.
posted by eviemath at 8:56 AM on May 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
Products: Using sulfate-free shampoo and conditioner seems to have made a small but noticeable improvement in appearance and manageability for my hair. I also use moisturizing shampoo and conditioner, but nothing too heavy (eg. straight Moroccan oil treatment will weigh down my hair too much, because of how fine it is). This has also led to improvements, slightly more noticeable for me than using sulfate-free products. I get the fairly basic sulfate-free and moisturizing (eg. with coconut oil) products - I go for "organic"-ish products as much as possible, but don't spend a lot of money for the super high end ones. I also don't use a wide variety of styling products. Without bleach or dye, I washed my hair with shampoo once or twice a week, occasionally used a leave-in conditioner or very light curl cream, and only rarely used conditioner in the shower. Bleaching and dying my hair really dries it out, requiring daily use of both in-shower conditioner and something leave-in after showering (but still shampooing only once, or at most twice, per week).
Process: I often comb my hair with a wide tooth comb as the very first thing I do after getting out of the shower, the do some very minor styling (I've never been big on hair product or any style that required more than a minute or two of fussing; I tend to do half-assed finger curls rather than scrunching though). I never towel my hair, nor do I ever blow dry it (even with a diffuser) - it's air drying all the way for me (see: very fine hair). This means that half an hour to an hour later I do a tiny little bit of flooding: turn my head upside down, just break up the largest clumps of curls with my fingers if necessary, give my hair a brief shake. But itherwise, like others, I avoid touching or fussing with it when dry.
I find that I need to get my hair thoroughly wet every morning in order to have it not look matted down. I don't do anything in particular with it while sleeping.
posted by eviemath at 8:56 AM on May 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I have hair that's somewhere between a wavy 2C and a curly 3A. I'm also horribly lazy when it comes to hair care.
What works well for me is the following:
1) Find a salon that can cut curly hair. For me, in my small city, this turned out to be the local styling school, where reputable teachers watch them like a hawk, and actually check their work to make sure they're doing my beloved "long round layers" properly. I have my hair just past my shoulders, so I tend to also opt for face framing (but no bangs, which become little pillows of frizz on my forehead in the FL humidity).
2) I'm allergic to a common ingredient found in most shampoos, and the kind I can use for my medical issues is very harsh and trying, so I try to just keep it to my scalp and ears. For the rest of my head, I will use 2-3 times as much conditioner as I did shampoo, and really work it through my hair with my fingers. I also tend to wash my hair with my head upside down, so I can really get at the back of it easily.
3) I use these microfiber towel turbans to dry my hair after a shower. An old towel will also work, but I really like the elastic holder on these towels. I wrap my head up and let it dry some while I finish getting ready.
4) I'll scrunch some hair gel, mousse, or a combination there of into my hair. No comb, no brush, just my head upside down over the tub as I scrunch product into my damp hair. Then I part it, and let it air dry.
5) For day two/three hair, I'll either get it damp, and scrunch in more product, or put it up and use hairspray to keep the frizzies on the top of my head down.
posted by PearlRose at 11:31 AM on May 2, 2018
What works well for me is the following:
1) Find a salon that can cut curly hair. For me, in my small city, this turned out to be the local styling school, where reputable teachers watch them like a hawk, and actually check their work to make sure they're doing my beloved "long round layers" properly. I have my hair just past my shoulders, so I tend to also opt for face framing (but no bangs, which become little pillows of frizz on my forehead in the FL humidity).
2) I'm allergic to a common ingredient found in most shampoos, and the kind I can use for my medical issues is very harsh and trying, so I try to just keep it to my scalp and ears. For the rest of my head, I will use 2-3 times as much conditioner as I did shampoo, and really work it through my hair with my fingers. I also tend to wash my hair with my head upside down, so I can really get at the back of it easily.
3) I use these microfiber towel turbans to dry my hair after a shower. An old towel will also work, but I really like the elastic holder on these towels. I wrap my head up and let it dry some while I finish getting ready.
4) I'll scrunch some hair gel, mousse, or a combination there of into my hair. No comb, no brush, just my head upside down over the tub as I scrunch product into my damp hair. Then I part it, and let it air dry.
5) For day two/three hair, I'll either get it damp, and scrunch in more product, or put it up and use hairspray to keep the frizzies on the top of my head down.
posted by PearlRose at 11:31 AM on May 2, 2018
Best answer: I do not have curly hair, but I hear that Reddit's Curly Hair forum has excellent resources, check out the sidebar.
posted by radioamy at 5:44 PM on May 2, 2018
posted by radioamy at 5:44 PM on May 2, 2018
Best answer: For dandruff, try rinsing with apple cider vinegar.
posted by oceano at 8:31 PM on May 3, 2018
posted by oceano at 8:31 PM on May 3, 2018
Response by poster: Thank you all! My daughter is happy and we are on the path towards curl care. This thread is GOLD, curly gold!
posted by jadepearl at 6:34 PM on May 28, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by jadepearl at 6:34 PM on May 28, 2018 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Weeping_angel at 2:32 PM on May 1, 2018 [18 favorites]