How to write personal letter as a single home buyer?
April 17, 2018 12:19 PM Subscribe
If you sold your house to a single, childless person who submitted a personal letter with their offer, what did they write in that letter? Or, on the flip side, if you as single, childless person wrote a letter which helped you get your offer accepted, what did you say?
I've been advised to submit personal letters with all my offers because a lot of sellers in my market are swayed by them (I've already lost one house due to a lower offer with a nice letter). I gather that these letters generally include family information, pictures of kids etc. But I don't have any of that. I'm a female in my early 30s, work in a very interesting industry but can't namedrop, getting a lot of help from family (which will be evident in the offer). I can wax poetic about architecture (if applicable) and all the potential I see in the house, but not sure what else. What are some things that have worked for you (or your buyers) in the past?
I've been advised to submit personal letters with all my offers because a lot of sellers in my market are swayed by them (I've already lost one house due to a lower offer with a nice letter). I gather that these letters generally include family information, pictures of kids etc. But I don't have any of that. I'm a female in my early 30s, work in a very interesting industry but can't namedrop, getting a lot of help from family (which will be evident in the offer). I can wax poetic about architecture (if applicable) and all the potential I see in the house, but not sure what else. What are some things that have worked for you (or your buyers) in the past?
Best answer: I've both written and received letters like this. It doesn't ALWAYS help to send a personal letter -- some people are more sentimental and some have other priorities -- but I think a lot of sellers have anthropomorphic feelings about their houses and want to feel that they are leaving the house to a nice human who will take good care of it. So:
--Someone who wants to live in it, rather than knock it down or rent it out (so a brief biographical description of you, even a photo, could be helpful)
--Someone with a connection to the architecture, neighborhood, region. Local is great if true.
--Someone who will take care of the yard/plants
--Someone who will be a good neighbor
posted by hungrytiger at 12:34 PM on April 17, 2018 [4 favorites]
--Someone who wants to live in it, rather than knock it down or rent it out (so a brief biographical description of you, even a photo, could be helpful)
--Someone with a connection to the architecture, neighborhood, region. Local is great if true.
--Someone who will take care of the yard/plants
--Someone who will be a good neighbor
posted by hungrytiger at 12:34 PM on April 17, 2018 [4 favorites]
Best answer: Not speaking from personal experience, but I think talking about what you appreciate about their house would help. They obviously took great care care of it, and you would continue that tradition and bring the same pride of ownership. (Don't discuss any changes you are considering.) You could also highlight commonalities (e.g., if they have a cat dish visible and you have a cat).
posted by salvia at 12:39 PM on April 17, 2018
posted by salvia at 12:39 PM on April 17, 2018
Best answer: I just did this a couple weeks ago. I mentioned specifically things I liked about the house (big windows in the living room, the nice closets the owner had added), and I also mentioned that I loved that they'd preserved the historic details in the house, and that I intended to do the same. Then I included a photo of myself and my cat. The owner also has a very sweet cat, who I met while I was viewing the house. I don't think sellers are necessarily looking for adorable kids/families, they're looking for relatable humans. Think of a few things you and the owner might have in common (not in a creepy way) and play those up. For me, the cute cat and loving the history of the house worked. I'm sure there's something you can grab onto in your situation.
posted by backwards compatible at 12:40 PM on April 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by backwards compatible at 12:40 PM on April 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
Single, childless female here--I exclaimed over how wonderful and bright the interior was, and how much personality it had, and how great it would be to live in such a nice house so conveniently located to my job. I also complimented their dog. :D
posted by velvet_n_purrs at 12:42 PM on April 17, 2018
posted by velvet_n_purrs at 12:42 PM on April 17, 2018
I'd avoid too many specifics, also. I think there's a chance of falling victim to stereotypes ("oh this letter writer sounds like one of those awful tech people that are ruining the city"). You probably want to stick to details that you think they'll find appealing, especially commonalities that you can discern from your tour of the house.
posted by salvia at 12:44 PM on April 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by salvia at 12:44 PM on April 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
Honestly, the only house I've ever sold was part of a divorce, and gushy letters and pictures of kids would have just irritated me. So I don't think it's a given that you're at a disadvantage here. I think you're best off highlighting specific things you love about the house and feel particularly interested in -- the yard/garden, mature trees, the location. And, yeah, if there are updates the current owners made to the house, compliment them effusively.
Happily, you do not need 45 different perfect houses to live in -- you just need one. Your house is out there. You'll get it.
posted by kate blank at 12:48 PM on April 17, 2018 [7 favorites]
Happily, you do not need 45 different perfect houses to live in -- you just need one. Your house is out there. You'll get it.
posted by kate blank at 12:48 PM on April 17, 2018 [7 favorites]
Best answer: I think I get what you mean, but there's no reason to feel inferior about your status as a single childless woman with regard to this, and no need to apologize for it in the letter.
What most middle-class home buyers with loans are up against is the investor market. Investors tend to have cash, and they often make offers well above the asking price. So they have that advantage over the rest of us.
Some sellers just want to make a sale, but others have a sentimental bent and would like to picture the house in good hands. Perhaps the seller in your case wants to know that, instead of being rented out and possibly trashed by a succession of short-term tenants, it will instead be lovingly cared for by a buyer who will stick with it, repair it, celebrate in it, and appreciate all its good homey vibes. These people loved their home, and they'd like to hear that you're going to care for the place with the same kind of attentive concern.
Just be yourself in the letter. Do wax poetic about architecture. The compliment (I'm assuming the house has good bones?) will be appreciated. Is this your first house? I would also mention your parents. Most people can relate to having had help with the down payment. What else about this experience is special for you? Just be clear how much this house means to you, and how grateful you are for this chance to have a real home of your own.
Here's hoping you get it! Sending you lots of good-luck vibes!
posted by cartoonella at 12:51 PM on April 17, 2018 [3 favorites]
What most middle-class home buyers with loans are up against is the investor market. Investors tend to have cash, and they often make offers well above the asking price. So they have that advantage over the rest of us.
Some sellers just want to make a sale, but others have a sentimental bent and would like to picture the house in good hands. Perhaps the seller in your case wants to know that, instead of being rented out and possibly trashed by a succession of short-term tenants, it will instead be lovingly cared for by a buyer who will stick with it, repair it, celebrate in it, and appreciate all its good homey vibes. These people loved their home, and they'd like to hear that you're going to care for the place with the same kind of attentive concern.
Just be yourself in the letter. Do wax poetic about architecture. The compliment (I'm assuming the house has good bones?) will be appreciated. Is this your first house? I would also mention your parents. Most people can relate to having had help with the down payment. What else about this experience is special for you? Just be clear how much this house means to you, and how grateful you are for this chance to have a real home of your own.
Here's hoping you get it! Sending you lots of good-luck vibes!
posted by cartoonella at 12:51 PM on April 17, 2018 [3 favorites]
One of my friends highlighted the appealing wood floors, as she's an avid ballroom dancer who could see herself practicing at home, and mentioned how her little rescue pup would appreciate the postage-stamp yard.
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:09 PM on April 17, 2018
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:09 PM on April 17, 2018
Best answer: I just did this! And got the place. I leaned harder into the "when I meet someone" than is actually accurate. But I happened to run into the seller, and when I said that the house would only be for me, she was surprised and said "But you're so pretty!". And this didn't seem like the feminist hill to die on. I also binged the Netflix series "Buy Herself", which was a short reality show of women buying Canadian property on their own. It's not good television, but it was very good watching in that it helped me de-stigmatize myself as a single woman.
I sent you my letter, which felt slightly too personal to post here. But feel free to crib some phrasing if you're suffering writers block.
posted by politikitty at 1:28 PM on April 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
I sent you my letter, which felt slightly too personal to post here. But feel free to crib some phrasing if you're suffering writers block.
posted by politikitty at 1:28 PM on April 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
Wow. I live in CT and have never heard of this practice! Is it only in very hot markets? Or is it a relatively new thing? I'm kind of shocked that people would include pictures - seems like that would lend itself to all sorts of potential discrimination. Mind kind of blown...
posted by widdershins at 2:00 PM on April 17, 2018 [8 favorites]
posted by widdershins at 2:00 PM on April 17, 2018 [8 favorites]
My husband and I wrote a letter with our offer and the seller loved it. We talked about our future in the home, but also how much we loved the neighborhood. We wrote that we liked how the house was updated but retained some of its originality from the 1950s. I don't think you specifically need to mention a theoretical spouse or kids, but why the house will be great for you now and in the long term.
posted by Katie8709 at 2:40 PM on April 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Katie8709 at 2:40 PM on April 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
I just sold my house, and did pick the not-highest offer. It did come with a very nice letter, but that wasn't what sold me. It was that the people seemed to want the house the most - offered to make up any appraisal shortfall, but also said they wouldn't ask for anything found in an inspection up to the first $2500. It was an older house; I'd already had one sale fall through, and wanted a buyer who would be realistic about the condition of the house. I had other, higher, offers, but the one I picked really seemed like it would go through with the least amount of hassle and quibbling.
The letters I got were fun to read, but really not a factor in my decision.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 2:45 PM on April 17, 2018 [7 favorites]
The letters I got were fun to read, but really not a factor in my decision.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 2:45 PM on April 17, 2018 [7 favorites]
Best answer: There's been a lot of great advice already but I want to chime in with a little story about someone who is trying to buy in the same housing market as you. First, my sympathies because it's an incredibly competitive and expensive market for buyers there. Second, my story: my sister and her husband, who have been together for over a decade and hope to have many children and pets, were second out of nearly 20 offers with their generous amount and amazing letter that was genuine but also fit a lot of the expected cliches. They lost out to someone who offered to let the sellers stay in the house rent-free for an extra year and a half?! That's crazy and something few people would even consider and even fewer could afford.
As others have said, not every seller is looking for the "perfect" picket-fence family with 2.4 kids and a dog named Daisy. Regardless of what my future holds, I would always have a soft spot for a someone like you, a solo professional woman buying her first home because I can relate to it so much. Be genuine, be you in those letters -- you never know!
While I haven't watched much, there's an old Canadian home show on Netflix called "Buy Herself" featuring a real estate agent helping first-time, single female homebuyers. It might give you some insight or inspiration (or just be entertaining!) I agree that the right house for you is out there and that you will eventually find it, and sooner rather than later, I hope!
posted by smorgasbord at 3:01 PM on April 17, 2018 [3 favorites]
As others have said, not every seller is looking for the "perfect" picket-fence family with 2.4 kids and a dog named Daisy. Regardless of what my future holds, I would always have a soft spot for a someone like you, a solo professional woman buying her first home because I can relate to it so much. Be genuine, be you in those letters -- you never know!
While I haven't watched much, there's an old Canadian home show on Netflix called "Buy Herself" featuring a real estate agent helping first-time, single female homebuyers. It might give you some insight or inspiration (or just be entertaining!) I agree that the right house for you is out there and that you will eventually find it, and sooner rather than later, I hope!
posted by smorgasbord at 3:01 PM on April 17, 2018 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Make sure you write the letter, because IT WORKS. It wasn’t a common thing in the market when we submitted ours, but the selling agent told us at closing that the letter made all the difference in price negotiation and seller credits, and that the older selling couple was referring to us as “the kids”.
We aren’t going to have children or get married, but we still talked about how excited we were to start a family in that house. Be genuine with emotion, but they aren’t going to fact-check it.
posted by hwyengr at 3:10 PM on April 17, 2018
We aren’t going to have children or get married, but we still talked about how excited we were to start a family in that house. Be genuine with emotion, but they aren’t going to fact-check it.
posted by hwyengr at 3:10 PM on April 17, 2018
Yes, widdershins, this would not happen in CT because CT is draining population.
My teammate wrote a poem. Sometimes I think all you're trying to prove is that you're not an overseas investor.
posted by batter_my_heart at 5:01 PM on April 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
My teammate wrote a poem. Sometimes I think all you're trying to prove is that you're not an overseas investor.
posted by batter_my_heart at 5:01 PM on April 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I'll throw out one more data point. I sold a house in a hot market in 2016 and ended up with six or seven serious offers in the first day the house was on the market. Two of them came with letters. All of the offers were clustered within about a two or three percent range around the asking price. For me, the deciding criteria ended up being contingencies (or lack thereof). Both of the letter writers included complicated contingencies in their offers that made me skeptical about whether they could predict a closing date or even close at all. The offer I accepted was monetarily the third highest, didn't have a letter, but was an all cash deal with zero contingencies and a quick closing. I see zero downside to a heartfelt letter, and agree with your advisers that you should include one with your offer, but don't underestimate the value of making a clean offer.
posted by kovacs at 5:58 PM on April 17, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by kovacs at 5:58 PM on April 17, 2018 [3 favorites]
The people we sold our house to included a picture of their baby and all that, but they also were clear that they understood what they were getting. They mentioned that he went to high school down the street (so I knew that they weren't going to be surprised by the mixed nature of the neighborhood), that they appreciated all the historic details that we kept, that they didn't have an electric car but would like the charger to be included because they wanted one one day and that her dad was a contractor. That meant to me that they knew the value of the upgrades we did, weren't going to fill it with cheap Home Depot disposable flipping garbage, but were aware of the upgrades that it needed and wouldn't curse our names when they went to redo the garage. They weren't going to rent it as an AirBnB or divide it up into rentals.
We didn't have time to write a letter in our current place, but apparently our realtor telling their realtor that we liked the (totally crazy looking but fun and newly renovated) bathroom sealed the deal as they went through so much to update it and were sick of people negging the bathroom. (Hanging out with the people who used to live in your house is a weird thing.)
So, be honest. Compliment the things you like and what makes it unique. Talk about how perfect it is for your taste, goals, etc. The reason they make owners leave during open houses is that himes are an extension of their taste and lives. Letters bridge that with a sense that you actually care about the things they love about it.
posted by Gucky at 7:08 PM on April 17, 2018
We didn't have time to write a letter in our current place, but apparently our realtor telling their realtor that we liked the (totally crazy looking but fun and newly renovated) bathroom sealed the deal as they went through so much to update it and were sick of people negging the bathroom. (Hanging out with the people who used to live in your house is a weird thing.)
So, be honest. Compliment the things you like and what makes it unique. Talk about how perfect it is for your taste, goals, etc. The reason they make owners leave during open houses is that himes are an extension of their taste and lives. Letters bridge that with a sense that you actually care about the things they love about it.
posted by Gucky at 7:08 PM on April 17, 2018
I didn't write a letter when I bought my first house, but I did briefly meet the seller when viewing it, and apparently she chose my offer because she wanted to help out a single woman buying her first house. So, with the right seller, your status can work in your favour!
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 10:18 PM on April 17, 2018
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 10:18 PM on April 17, 2018
My experience (as a childless seller) of a house we had and loved for more than 10 years...we weren't expecting letters, and were a little put off by the whole experience. It made what is essentially a business decision a personal one, but I gather that's the point. We were always going to pick the highest offer, and our high offer was significantly higher than the other contenders, so it was an easy pick. Had the offers been comparable, my next factor would have been the likeliness of the buyer obtaining funding. After that, then maybe I could see that the letters could have swayed our decision. However, it would have been based on highly personal and individual factors. For us, childless with cat(s) would have been a winner unless something else annoyed me; or maybe they had a characteristic that I thought would fit in well with the neighborhood. I found it odd when the letter writers spoke about how much they liked the house...of course they do! That's why they want to buy it. My point is, money will be the deciding factor unless you're even with the other offers. Then, I don't think there is a way to predict the seller's sympathies unless you know more about them.
posted by PosterGirlwithNoPoster at 4:00 AM on April 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by PosterGirlwithNoPoster at 4:00 AM on April 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I'm just one data point, but I bought a house as a single, 30s woman in a hot market and included a letter. My relatively inexperienced realtor was skeptical, but I had read about letters on MeFi and insisted.
The seller was the sister of a middle-aged woman who had passed away (very sad), and I made sure to mention in my letter that I knew it was a tough time for the family, and that I would feel honored to be able to live in a well-loved house.
I can't say that the letter was the deciding factor, but it certainly didn't hurt. And it probably helped later in the process when things looked like they might not happen right before closing. Try to find out some information about the sellers, write a sincere letter, and GOOD LUCK!
posted by eulily at 9:03 AM on April 18, 2018
The seller was the sister of a middle-aged woman who had passed away (very sad), and I made sure to mention in my letter that I knew it was a tough time for the family, and that I would feel honored to be able to live in a well-loved house.
I can't say that the letter was the deciding factor, but it certainly didn't hurt. And it probably helped later in the process when things looked like they might not happen right before closing. Try to find out some information about the sellers, write a sincere letter, and GOOD LUCK!
posted by eulily at 9:03 AM on April 18, 2018
Response by poster: Aww, thanks everyone for soothing what has been a huge anxiety/worry. You people are just the best. You've given me lots of ideas and I don't feel so shy or self-conscious about writing a letter anymore. Special thanks to politikitty for sending me her letter. Even better, I think I *maybe* found the perfect house yesterday, and met the seller, who is also single and childless, and got along great with him. Will update later!
posted by acidic at 10:15 AM on April 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by acidic at 10:15 AM on April 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
So a lot of the sellers that want letters basically just want to know a few things and this depends on the neighborhood, a lot of them tinged with bigotry:
1. That the house will be owner occupied and not a slum lord or section 8 income property.
2. That you are not some new money gentrifying hipster.
3. That you are not a poc moving into a neighborhood that was predominantly white.
I'm pretty against letters, but if you must, I would just mention the house and not yourself at all. I think letters are discriminatory. Can you imagine having to write a letter about why your offer should be selected to buy a car or an expensive piece of jewelry? The offer with the best business terms should win out (best money and contingencies balance). I don't think anyone would be disappointed because you are a single childless female unless you are buying in a rapidly gentrifying area and the seller doesn't want "those hipsters" or whatever "ruining" their working class neighborhood.
I may be jaded from living in Philadelphia, but that's my take of offer letters.
posted by WeekendJen at 8:56 AM on April 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
1. That the house will be owner occupied and not a slum lord or section 8 income property.
2. That you are not some new money gentrifying hipster.
3. That you are not a poc moving into a neighborhood that was predominantly white.
I'm pretty against letters, but if you must, I would just mention the house and not yourself at all. I think letters are discriminatory. Can you imagine having to write a letter about why your offer should be selected to buy a car or an expensive piece of jewelry? The offer with the best business terms should win out (best money and contingencies balance). I don't think anyone would be disappointed because you are a single childless female unless you are buying in a rapidly gentrifying area and the seller doesn't want "those hipsters" or whatever "ruining" their working class neighborhood.
I may be jaded from living in Philadelphia, but that's my take of offer letters.
posted by WeekendJen at 8:56 AM on April 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Just want to share that I closed on a house (the one in my last comment) today! Even better, the seller shared that my letter made him very emotional and put my offer over the top. It was smooth sailing from there. Thank you all SO MUCH for all of your words of encouragement and letter-writing suggestions!!!
posted by acidic at 4:15 PM on June 8, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by acidic at 4:15 PM on June 8, 2018 [6 favorites]
« Older Identity theft, bots, and the seamy side of the... | Technical Help for a Watercolor Nature Journal Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by the agents of KAOS at 12:33 PM on April 17, 2018