Books (or other resources) about workplace assertiveness?

April 8, 2018 8:23 AM

I am notoriously non-assertive and am starting a new job where assertiveness will be key. Can you recommend any books/resources that helped you with assertive workplace communication? Additional societal expectations wrinkle: I am a small young-ish lady and my new field & workplace is overwhelmingly men who are 10+ years my senior.

The tl;dr: I'm going to be a brand-new 'department of one' at the company, and my department is, uh, let us say... often devalued and a source of conflict because it is often seen as being responsible for accountability and bad news.

posted by flibbertigibbet to Work & Money (3 answers total)

Best answer: Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time by Susan Scott. I took the brand's formal training through my workplace and found it useful, but I think the book works as a standalone resource too.
posted by haruspicina at 8:28 AM on April 8, 2018

This seems small, but- I re-read my emails before I send them and take out “just”, “I think” and any question marks that are not actually questions. It helps me sound more authoritative because I suffer from “girl speak” more than I’d like to admit (“I just think that going forward I can be the point person for this meeting?” Becomes “Going forward, I will be point person for this meeting.”) No need to undermine yourself more than necessary!
posted by girlalex at 8:34 AM on April 8, 2018 [9 favorites]

Here's a simple trick: When you say X I feel Y because Z. When you ask me to stay late every day it makes me feel undervalued, because I am not paid to work overtime.

It just helps when figuring out how to address a topic that's difficult to bring up. Other than that, I have no specific recommendation but any textbook on negotiating should be helpful. A lot of people recommend Getting to Yes, but I've never read it.
posted by xammerboy at 6:20 PM on April 8, 2018