Don't know what this behavior is called, or how to safely replicate it.

January 28, 2018 12:02 PM

[ADHD Filter] I find that I am most productive when I am "playing hooky" or have just canceled plans. It can be really difficult for me to focus and find the enthusiasm to get things done, otherwise, even with years of help from ADHD therapy, meds, and life-hacks. Is there a name for this behavior, especially in the context of ADHD? If so, how do I replicate the circumstances without causing collateral damage to others?

Don't worry, I'm not calling out sick from work (in fact I rarely do this) or canceling all of my plans constantly. I've just noticed that I constantly feel the urge to do this. I'll be driving to work, or sitting at my desk at work, thinking, "Ugh, I feel so motivated right now to go home and get _____, _____, and _______ finally done!" Even when I'm feeling pretty focused and motivated to do my work, I'll have this sudden realization that if I could just unexpectedly leave early, I could get so much other stuff done. This feeling dissipates if I stay at work for all of my scheduled hours, so it doesn't carry into my day once work is over. This is, of course, because at that point I don't have that feeling like I just pulled a sudden, badass move to make the day more about what *I* want to do in that moment. It's a feeling that must be very primal and spontaneous.

And then when I actually do cancel plans/skip out on something/call out from work, I find that, indeed, I am just as productive as I fantasized! There's a very stimulating thrill in believing that I've just stolen back some time for myself. I'll run that errand I've been putting off for weeks or months, or rush home to deal with some chores or projects I've chronically neglected, or suddenly feel in the mood to finally cook that elaborate meal I've been saying I'd wanted to do since last year.

This doesn't feel so much like a "I now have time" - I have plenty of spare time, I just don't always use it wisely, because ADHD inevitableness. It just seems to scratch that classic ADHD itch of stimulation-seeking behavior that increases dopamine levels for better focus and concentration.

Whatever it is about the idea that I've just blown off plans (and the plans have to be 1. Something to which I wasn't totally looking forward - i.e. a mundane activity, a weekly group meet-up or because I simply feel too lazy to go through with it; as well as 2. Something where at least one other person was expecting me to be there), I find it really stimulating and exciting in a way that causes me a charge both creatively and motivation-wise.

So, my question: How can I replicate this feeling, without actually breaking plans with people, or skipping work/other obligations where at least one other person is counting on me being present? It doesn't seem to work if I create a "fake" situation where I simply pretend that I've RSVP'd for something and then don't show up. It really seems to predicate on an actual feeling that I'm playing hooky.

Additional info:
*Yes I take ADHD meds, see a therapist, and am well versed in all the ADHD lifehacks. Many of those lifehacks have and continue to work, but this is something about myself I have always noticed. I really want to understand how I can possibly replicate it for my own benefit (without causing harm or annoyance to others).
*I am not looking for ideas or advice on how to stop feeling this way. Only how to responsibly replicate and utilize, for positive outcomes alone, the energy those feelings create inside me.
*I'm familiar with the idea of "busy procrastinating" and while I see some parallels, no, it's not the same thing that I feel when I actively say, "Nope, not going to show up to my weekly meditation meet-up tonight!" or "You know what, I'm just going to call out sick from work today and get X, Y and Z finally done."

posted by nightrecordings to Health & Fitness (12 answers total)

I call it productive procrastination.
posted by aniola at 12:16 PM on January 28, 2018 [6 favorites]

All about that framing! I talk up situations to make them seem thrilling.

Work = scams — I get paid for this?!! LOL
Friend obligations = schemes
Chatting at a party = wheelin' & dealin'
Self-care = indulgence racket
Leave the room = stealing away
posted by fritillary at 12:19 PM on January 28, 2018 [29 favorites]

Do you have a friend who will play along with you? That's the first thing I'd do in your situation. I'd be like, hey, this is silly, but it'll help me get work done: can we make some "plans," and then I'll "cancel" them right before? (And maybe make sure you have some real plans to hang at a better time!)
posted by fiercecupcake at 12:22 PM on January 28, 2018

Best answer: This article gave me a name for it and really helped me reframe it.
posted by annathea at 12:28 PM on January 28, 2018 [11 favorites]

It sounds like you are talking about salvaging time when you are otherwise over-committed. These things that you are blowing off are tedious waste-of-time things that you feel beholden too, but don't really care about, and they involve another person (who is asking for your time). Maybe the reason that you feel so good about blowing them off and can get work done is that you are relieved of the torture of having someone or something suck up time when you really want to be working. I'm not sure you can replicate that without that feeling of having triumphed.
posted by paco758 at 12:44 PM on January 28, 2018 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I have ADD and experience something similar in the mornings as I'm getting ready for work. I often get more done in 15-30 minutes before work - unloading the dishwasher, sweeping, making the bed, etc etc, than in an entire evening ... even as I'm making myself late. I think it's because I know I *HAVE* to leave and in the evening when I have things to do I have all evening to do them and there's no sense of urgency - and I get nothing done.

I've also experienced an intense, urgent desire to leave work and go home and write, paint, work on music, etc. I've even posted a question here trying to get ideas on how to stimulate creative energy when I actually have time, in case you find that helpful. At this point I care less about the urgency and more about just getting stuff done. The one thing that *does* pretty consistently create that urgency for me, at least with regard to housework, is having guests. I do put it off until the last minute but then I clean like a maniac. I have been known to invite people over just to get myself to clean.

Right now I'm trying to create habits to be more productive in my free time, so I don't have to be stressed just to get some stuff done. I come home from work and put on a pot of water for tea and use that time to look at the mail, look at my to-do list, etc. I'm still working on it but so far it seems to help.

My idea for you: Create deadlines for the things you want to feel more urgently about - deadlines with consequences. Use one of those services that makes a donation to an organization you hate if you miss your goal, or give an embarrassing childhood pic to a friend with instructions to post it on FB if you don't send them a pic of your reorganized spice rack by 10pm CST. Make tight deadlines with no wiggle room that you aren't completely sure you can make. It's not quite the same thing as what you're describing, as it doesn't use a competing commitment to create the urgency - but for some people this seems to do the trick.
posted by bunderful at 1:06 PM on January 28, 2018 [5 favorites]

I think the best term would be simply "fear".

My experience is that anything that gets your adrenaline pumping will have a very positive effect on those with ADHD. The increase in adrenaline leads to "hyper-focus" and you feel (and probably could) write an opera or create something that even impresses yourself.

I think the go-to strategy for many with ADHD is to procrastinate until there is absolutely no possible way that you could complete your task, and if you could, it would be undercooked at best. Yet, that fear kicks off a stream of adrenaline that leads to lofty ideas and a laser-like focus that not only completes the task on time (just barely, btw), but in a way that is pretty much genius.

The problem is that this yoyo-ing is unsustainable as there is a definite crash after. My understanding is that ADHD meds try to replicate much of this brain chemistry on a more sustainable fashion (have you noticed that Ritalin, which is basically methamphetamine, doesn't make ADHD people hyper? It has the opposite effect and makes them calm and focused). That being said, my own experience is that Ritalin and the like are poor substitutes to the effect of adrenaline, however there are those with ADHD that find it equally helpful and life-changing.

So, long story short, your little social rebellions are giving you a hit and that is having a calming and focusing effect. Whether you find that problematic in the big scheme of things is up to you.
posted by qwip at 1:13 PM on January 28, 2018 [5 favorites]

Best answer: Are you familiar with Gretchen Rubin's four tendencies theory? Doing some research on the Rebel tendency and strategies for motivating yourself as a Rebel might prove useful for you.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 1:15 PM on January 28, 2018 [2 favorites]

I have similar tendencies and can get overwhelmed when I try to schedule and plan too much. Sometimes I can counter it by planning a relatively short period, e.g what I call a "power hour" and telling myself I'm just going to do as much as I can in that woefully inadequate period. Usually I am way more productive than I expect and often end up motivated to get even more done.
posted by rpfields at 2:03 PM on January 28, 2018 [1 favorite]

I definitely have a similar feeling, and it doesn't have anything to do with being overworked with too much stuff. If anything, it's easier to end up doing when I only have a tiny number of major obligations that I can procrastinate on. What I've found works best is weaving two tasks together. Which works a lot better at home than at work when you're supposed to be focusing on one specific thing. If I need to get one thing done, but I really have an aversion to it for whatever reason my brain cooks up, I'll work on it for as long as I can focus, then switch to cooking/cleaning/anything productive for a little while until I lose momentum with that, then go back to the original task, and try to focus on it a bit more. It's bad if I let myself get away with mixing more than one other thing though, because then I just do all the avoidant stuff and never get what I'm supposed to do done or never focus on anything long enough to get anything done.
posted by Zalzidrax at 2:49 PM on January 28, 2018 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I have ADHD and have found the only way I can reliably get myself to undertake some big home-related project (deep-clean my apartment, organize my closets, spend that half-day at IKEA) is to send my dog to doggy daycare. It started because when I first moved into my current apartment, my dog was freaked out from the move and would literally throw up when I started unpacking boxes. So I sent him to doggy daycare two days in a row and got literally all my unpacking done in those two days. Now I do it once a month or so when I really need to get something like that done.

It works because it gives me a deadline (I want to get my project or to-do list done before I have to pick him up) and I've spent money on having him there for the day, and will feel like I wasted my money if I don't get shit done.

Anyway, I think your thing is somewhat similar. It gives you a specific, bounded set of time (the time you would have spent doing the other thing) to get your project done AND you probably have a bit of a sense of opportunity cost (instead of the cost of doggy daycare for the day, it's the sick day that you used or the fact that your friend might be annoyed that you bailed) that gives you that extra motivation. Could you do something similar to help give you motivation? I don't know what your version of doggy daycare would be but I think if you can find something that is similarly time-bound and involves either spending money or a similar opportunity cost, that might help. Like maybe if you have an understanding friend, you could enlist her in a pact where you will hang out Saturday night, but only if you've gotten X done that day (kinda sucks for her if you don't get X done though, so only do this if you think it'll work!).
posted by lunasol at 3:04 PM on January 28, 2018 [1 favorite]

I used to harness exactly this by procrastinating on things I needed to do with other things I needed to do. It works well if you have enough things you need to do that you can always be shifting focus to something else that is probably equally important but that catches your attention in a new way. It was a very productive strategy for me until I had to go back to focusing on a single thing at a time for long periods again. So if you can find a way to structure your life and the tasks you need to do so that you're always procrastinating on something you need to do with something else you need to do, that might be productive for you.

Note: I have not been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, but I have procrastinated to a pathological degree for my entire life. Reading some of what's been posted here makes me wonder whether I should be diagnosed with ADHD. I do tend to veer from noticing every single thing in my immediate environment to hyperfocus, which might explain why I tend to have trouble in an office setting unless I set up a lot of structure for myself. And I do often underestimate how long it'll take to finish tasks and run into trouble when I don't have a routine. I remember when I told my mother I had taken a job as an editor at a magazine, she immediately asked whether I thought that was a good idea, because I'd always procrastinated so much. And I said in fact, it's probably the only way I'll ever do anything of merit, because having deadlines will force me to do it. And that did work for me for the better part of a decade—I was very productive and wrote a lot because it was sink or swim, and I had no choice other than to do so. But I also had trouble sleeping every time I was on deadline, which is something I'm experiencing again now that I'm writing more. So that's a potential downside of that strategy. Time-boxing in general, though, has been productive for me—time-boxing plus a feeling of urgency seems to work well.

I like qwip's theory about fear or urgency, because it describes a thing I was trying to describe recently about wanting to find a way to harness the massive productivity I experience when I finally get down to work after procrastinating—I think what I was describing was definitely hyperfocus, when it feels like everything else is stripped away and the only option is to do the thing, and I do feel fear at that point because I have limited time to get the thing done. It's clarifying in a way that nothing else is. I hate it, of course. I used to get a lot done in the office and also used to feel a lot of fear in the office, like people were always looking over my shoulder. It was kind of unhealthy.

That ADDitude article annathea linked is also very interesting; I feel like I do have an "interest-based nervous system" to some degree. I also feel like I have some "rejection sensitivity dysphoria"—one of the few things that would consistently get me to cry growing up was when I felt embarrassed or rejected. I have definitely recognized this in a couple guys I know with ADHD as well—for them, it manifests as preemptive defensiveness. Emotional hyperarousal is probably in the mix there as well. But it's of course hard, in all our cases, to separate that from impulses that come out of having been legit teased as a kid, being geek kids, having difficult home lives growing up, etc.

Anyway, to return to the topic at hand, the other idea this brings to mind, which I see in myself a little bit, but also see as a much stronger tendency exhibited by someone I know with undiagnosed ADHD and/or an autism-spectrum disorder, is pathological demand avoidance. It seems like a bit of a cousin behavior to the similar ADHD-related behaviors we've been discussing, so even if you don't see yourself in all of the clinical indicators for that and you're not on the spectrum, researching some of the strategies for dealing with it might be a productive avenue. It's been a useful concept for me to think through, as I do feel like something akin to "demand avoidance" can characterize some of what makes it hard for me to get down to work at times.

I hope some of these thoughts are useful!
posted by limeonaire at 3:27 PM on January 28, 2018 [2 favorites]