Raising Happy Confident Kittens
January 18, 2018 12:48 PM Subscribe
I recently got the opportunity to foster a Momma and her three kittens. We believe they're about eight weeks old. Poor Mom is in rough shape and she's at the vet getting IV fluids and antibiotics. They're all feral-ish. How do I best get them ready for adoption? Details inside.
I raised one of my cats from a kitten but he was probably four months old, so this is my first rodeo. The two boys (Sassafrass and Caraway are the biggest and I'm not too worried about them. In the past three days they've gone from cowering to being largely fine with my presence. They're too busy playing to be afraid.
Rosemary (we call her Rosie) on the other hand is really insecure. I feel like I have a limited amount of time to get her comfortable around people. At the shelter, kittens have the best shot of being adopted. We like to say the cat will find you. She isn't going to find anybody hiding in a corner or in a litter box.
She's the runt, and before Mom went to the vet she was constantly using Mom for comfort. She'll allow me to pick her up, and she's stopped hissing but that's about the best I can say. So far I'm holding her and reading, wiping her with a wet paper towel (she has random sticky bits on her, i think she's stepping or rolling in food). I've tried playing with her but she's completely inert. She just gray rocks me. I feed her every few hours and don't allow her dry kibble. I know it's a good idea to allow kittens to free feed but I'm hoping if she associates me with food that she'll be better off? If I'm wrong on that let me know. I've read that it helps having a radio in with them so they get used to human voices. I really want to do right by these kittens. Is there anything else I should be doing?
I raised one of my cats from a kitten but he was probably four months old, so this is my first rodeo. The two boys (Sassafrass and Caraway are the biggest and I'm not too worried about them. In the past three days they've gone from cowering to being largely fine with my presence. They're too busy playing to be afraid.
Rosemary (we call her Rosie) on the other hand is really insecure. I feel like I have a limited amount of time to get her comfortable around people. At the shelter, kittens have the best shot of being adopted. We like to say the cat will find you. She isn't going to find anybody hiding in a corner or in a litter box.
She's the runt, and before Mom went to the vet she was constantly using Mom for comfort. She'll allow me to pick her up, and she's stopped hissing but that's about the best I can say. So far I'm holding her and reading, wiping her with a wet paper towel (she has random sticky bits on her, i think she's stepping or rolling in food). I've tried playing with her but she's completely inert. She just gray rocks me. I feed her every few hours and don't allow her dry kibble. I know it's a good idea to allow kittens to free feed but I'm hoping if she associates me with food that she'll be better off? If I'm wrong on that let me know. I've read that it helps having a radio in with them so they get used to human voices. I really want to do right by these kittens. Is there anything else I should be doing?
The best thing we ever did for our kitten was take metafilter's advice and get the book "Clicker training for cats". It's a thin book, a quick read, and omg is it amazing to be able to communicate with a kitten. Then you can reward for behaviour you want to encourage (consistently!).
We used dry kibbles as clicker-training treats because we figured it was good to teach the kitten to like all sorts of food, so that if they ever got lost they wouldn't have food issues with whoever found them.
I don't think the family that ended up adopting our cat stuck wtih the clicker training, but I do think it helped set our kitten up to be a well-adjusted cat.
Keep at it! Someday she'll be all grown up and you'll be like "remember when...."
posted by aniola at 1:46 PM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
We used dry kibbles as clicker-training treats because we figured it was good to teach the kitten to like all sorts of food, so that if they ever got lost they wouldn't have food issues with whoever found them.
I don't think the family that ended up adopting our cat stuck wtih the clicker training, but I do think it helped set our kitten up to be a well-adjusted cat.
Keep at it! Someday she'll be all grown up and you'll be like "remember when...."
posted by aniola at 1:46 PM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Oof, that sounds rough.
Making her eat with your company is definitely a good idea. I've even done feeding the wet food directly off your finger, though it's kinda gross. (If she isn't food-motivated enough for this, maybe a higher-value treat of some kind?)
I had a pair of siblings that were pretty feral/terrified of people and the foster coordinators eventually advised putting them in separate rooms so humans were their only option for company. A little Stockholm-Syndrome-y, maybe, but it immediately helped with one of them (like an hour later he was mewling for me to come cuddle him) and...kind of helped with the other? (She would come and snuggle up with us, but only when we were lying down. She wasn't scared, though, just had her own agenda, which mostly involved saying prrrrt prrrrrt and finding a way under the bedspread.)
Your guys look a bit older than eight weeks to me, though it's always hard to say from pictures... it definitely gets harder to socialize them the older they get, but they're still little enough that it should be fine.
I haven't tried the radio thing but I have heard it recommended -- worth a shot! And just constant contact -- holding and reading, watching TV in the room with her, etc. -- helps.
posted by little cow make small moo at 1:46 PM on January 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
Making her eat with your company is definitely a good idea. I've even done feeding the wet food directly off your finger, though it's kinda gross. (If she isn't food-motivated enough for this, maybe a higher-value treat of some kind?)
I had a pair of siblings that were pretty feral/terrified of people and the foster coordinators eventually advised putting them in separate rooms so humans were their only option for company. A little Stockholm-Syndrome-y, maybe, but it immediately helped with one of them (like an hour later he was mewling for me to come cuddle him) and...kind of helped with the other? (She would come and snuggle up with us, but only when we were lying down. She wasn't scared, though, just had her own agenda, which mostly involved saying prrrrt prrrrrt and finding a way under the bedspread.)
Your guys look a bit older than eight weeks to me, though it's always hard to say from pictures... it definitely gets harder to socialize them the older they get, but they're still little enough that it should be fine.
I haven't tried the radio thing but I have heard it recommended -- worth a shot! And just constant contact -- holding and reading, watching TV in the room with her, etc. -- helps.
posted by little cow make small moo at 1:46 PM on January 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
PS - we used a clicking noise we made with our mouths instead of an actual clicker, because it meant we didn't have to find a clicker any time we wanted to do clicker training.
posted by aniola at 1:47 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by aniola at 1:47 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
TinyKittens to the rescue! They've been socializing/adopting out feral cats for years. I think step 1 is just being around them, not even necessarily interacting with them, but showing them that you aren't scary. Agree about handling their paws, and holding them upside-down for a couple of seconds at a time so they get used to that as well. Be gentle and consistent. Good luck! You're doing a great thing.
posted by orrnyereg at 1:50 PM on January 18, 2018
posted by orrnyereg at 1:50 PM on January 18, 2018
Also, w/r/t Rosie: Is she pooping? If she's super attached to Mom she might still be needing some, uh, assistance with that. Constipation would make me really unhappy, too.
posted by orrnyereg at 1:52 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by orrnyereg at 1:52 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks so much for the suggestions, please keep them coming! Rosie is in my lap right now.
orrnyereg -They all seem to be eating and using the box. Initially when mom left they had really wet stools, but the shelter had me feed them goat milk and they seem to be fine on that front now.
little cow - Rosie is 1 lb. 10 oz. if that helps with figuring out her age. Sassafrass is the biggest and he's 2 lb. 6 oz. They're guessing this is Mom's first litter and they estimate her to be 10 months old.
I think separating them is a good idea, the brothers keep tackling her and I'm sure that doesn't help her with her nervousness. I'm also supposed to be monitoring her food/water intake and poop so it would be easiest to keep her somewhere else.
posted by Bistyfrass at 2:06 PM on January 18, 2018
orrnyereg -They all seem to be eating and using the box. Initially when mom left they had really wet stools, but the shelter had me feed them goat milk and they seem to be fine on that front now.
little cow - Rosie is 1 lb. 10 oz. if that helps with figuring out her age. Sassafrass is the biggest and he's 2 lb. 6 oz. They're guessing this is Mom's first litter and they estimate her to be 10 months old.
I think separating them is a good idea, the brothers keep tackling her and I'm sure that doesn't help her with her nervousness. I'm also supposed to be monitoring her food/water intake and poop so it would be easiest to keep her somewhere else.
posted by Bistyfrass at 2:06 PM on January 18, 2018
I was feeding a feral stray kitten on the street who danced away from me anytime I got too close. After regularly feeding her little colony, I reached out to pet her once while she was eating and she purred and purred. After that, I kept touching her when she was eating. I trapped her and her kin and brought her inside. She was very skittish for awhile, but is now a friendly, happy housecat. So, I think food--make her associate food with people.
posted by Mavri at 2:46 PM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Mavri at 2:46 PM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
When we first adopted our beautiful cat Millionaire at six months she was nervous and hid under the sofa. She would come sniff us if we would lie on the floor but never came to us when we stood or sat. She is very friendly with us now but doesn't like strangers, unless those strangers offer her treats, in which case she will spend a very short time in their company. So I would recommend those two things - lying down and treats.
posted by Emmy Rae at 2:52 PM on January 18, 2018
posted by Emmy Rae at 2:52 PM on January 18, 2018
Best answer: It occurs to me that another thing I do with shy ones is to just sit on the floor with legs straight out (maybe with a book, it's pretty boring) and ... wait.
I generally Very Discourage hands as toys, but I make exceptions at this stage, maybe wiggle my fingers a little, tap the floor, but not too much or too loudly or suddenly.
It's pretty interesting that you're on the floor. Your socks are interesting. They have smells. Maybe it would be fun to swat your toes really fast pat-pat-pat. Maybe eventually your legs are interesting. Short forays up onto my legs and down again are exciting, if they are feeling brave. Also squeezing between my back and the wall, that can be fun. I talk softly at them occasionally, but not too much, and don't try to pet or touch them -- hands are pretty scary.
Of course it helps if they are at a playful stage, or have a playful sibling -- this is pretty much sitting very still and waiting for them to conclude I am a jungle gym. It's a start!
posted by little cow make small moo at 3:51 PM on January 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
I generally Very Discourage hands as toys, but I make exceptions at this stage, maybe wiggle my fingers a little, tap the floor, but not too much or too loudly or suddenly.
It's pretty interesting that you're on the floor. Your socks are interesting. They have smells. Maybe it would be fun to swat your toes really fast pat-pat-pat. Maybe eventually your legs are interesting. Short forays up onto my legs and down again are exciting, if they are feeling brave. Also squeezing between my back and the wall, that can be fun. I talk softly at them occasionally, but not too much, and don't try to pet or touch them -- hands are pretty scary.
Of course it helps if they are at a playful stage, or have a playful sibling -- this is pretty much sitting very still and waiting for them to conclude I am a jungle gym. It's a start!
posted by little cow make small moo at 3:51 PM on January 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
Lots and lots and lots of gentle sweet talk. They need to get used to associating you and your presence with safety and calm, and if you sit nearby but not too close you can tell them how pretty they are and all sorts of other compliments one might offer to a kitty friend. If they catch you staring at them, blink very slowly at them so they can see that eye contact doesn't mean that they are being challenged. (Later that can change; my cat knows now that if I quirk a smile at her it's time to play). I also do the gentle clicking sounds with my tongue and not a clicker -- it's easier to modulate the volume and tone of the click that way.
Good luck, please share more photos.
posted by Hermione Granger at 10:01 PM on January 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
Good luck, please share more photos.
posted by Hermione Granger at 10:01 PM on January 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Wash the heck out of the kittens. Inspect the inside of their ears with a sightly damp wet wash cloth, pay lots of attention to their butts, and groom them until they feel like they must be being prepared for a beauty pageant. Predators eat, but mothers wash. Cats groom each other to make them feel more at home. So wash, wash, wash. A very sightly damp coarse wash cloth is ideal as it feels a bit like mother's tongue. It should not be so wet that the inner fur gets wet unless you separate the top hairs to do some sedulous digging.
Carry Rosemary around in your shirt. Basically don't leave her alone, make her spend all her time in a position where she is staying snug and warm because of your body heat. You can let her amble off or scurry off - she's not trapped, but just pick her up again after a few moments and put her back up against your body. Offer her milk. A dolly feeding bottle of milk might please her and comfort her if she is the runt and young enough.
Make the cats sleep with you in a kitten pile. If that means you are all sleeping in the bottom of a closed cupboard, oh well.
Mumble softly at the cats a lot in a vibrating sort of voice, in a human purr. Snuzzle them. Say, "Me... me... me," to the kittens a lot. This is cat language for "Where are you? I'm lost! Here I am!" If you hear the kittens squeak that way with the same "Me" sound, go to them right away and warm them up with your body heat. Don't say "Meow." The -ow part of the word has a different meaning and is sort of a challenge sound. An angry cat says, "Owwww!" as a warning.
You actually have a better chance of domesticating Rosemary than Sassafras and Caraway as they will learn human culture more slowly having already started towards independent kittenhood. The earlier you teach them that you are just another cat mother, the more likely you are to fool them into believing you.
Feed often and small amounts as you are trying to get them to make the association of you with food - if you can feed them a couple of times in the middle of the night as well as eight times during the day they will soon pick up on the idea that you are the source of a full tummy and safe to be around.
Spend as much time as you can cuddled with all three of them - reading in bed is an ideal activity for the four of you.
posted by Jane the Brown at 7:33 AM on January 19, 2018 [5 favorites]
Carry Rosemary around in your shirt. Basically don't leave her alone, make her spend all her time in a position where she is staying snug and warm because of your body heat. You can let her amble off or scurry off - she's not trapped, but just pick her up again after a few moments and put her back up against your body. Offer her milk. A dolly feeding bottle of milk might please her and comfort her if she is the runt and young enough.
Make the cats sleep with you in a kitten pile. If that means you are all sleeping in the bottom of a closed cupboard, oh well.
Mumble softly at the cats a lot in a vibrating sort of voice, in a human purr. Snuzzle them. Say, "Me... me... me," to the kittens a lot. This is cat language for "Where are you? I'm lost! Here I am!" If you hear the kittens squeak that way with the same "Me" sound, go to them right away and warm them up with your body heat. Don't say "Meow." The -ow part of the word has a different meaning and is sort of a challenge sound. An angry cat says, "Owwww!" as a warning.
You actually have a better chance of domesticating Rosemary than Sassafras and Caraway as they will learn human culture more slowly having already started towards independent kittenhood. The earlier you teach them that you are just another cat mother, the more likely you are to fool them into believing you.
Feed often and small amounts as you are trying to get them to make the association of you with food - if you can feed them a couple of times in the middle of the night as well as eight times during the day they will soon pick up on the idea that you are the source of a full tummy and safe to be around.
Spend as much time as you can cuddled with all three of them - reading in bed is an ideal activity for the four of you.
posted by Jane the Brown at 7:33 AM on January 19, 2018 [5 favorites]
You mentioned separating the kittens but it sounds like you haven't done that yet; that would probably be the first thing I'd try. Rosie may just be intimidated by her bigger brothers, especially if she's used to them playing too roughly with her, and she may be expecting them to try to take the "good stuff" (ie you, food, toys etc) away from her. You don't necessarily need to keep them apart full time - I would probably start with taking her into a separate room to feed/pet/play with her and see if she opens up a bit when the other kittens aren't nearby.
posted by aaebig at 12:23 PM on January 19, 2018
posted by aaebig at 12:23 PM on January 19, 2018
If she’s grey rocking you, I would think she’s sick. That’s just not normal behavior. Running from you, squirming to get away - that’s what I’d expect from a non-socialized kitten. But just lying there? That’s worrying. As someone asked upthread, is she pooping? Even if she is, this sounds like a vet visit is called for.
posted by MexicanYenta at 7:34 PM on January 19, 2018
posted by MexicanYenta at 7:34 PM on January 19, 2018
Response by poster: Thanks, everyone! I separate Rosie during the day and carry her around with me. She's still timid but she's doing a lot better! I decided not to completely cut her off from her brothers because while they do pounce on her, she has started pouncing back. I see this as a good sign. She and her brother also sleep in a pile together and I think that's good for both of them. The shelter had me do a fecal test on them and we'll go from there. I will post a boatload of pictures later in the day.
posted by Bistyfrass at 11:47 AM on January 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Bistyfrass at 11:47 AM on January 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
Checking in--how's Rosie doing? *cough*youpromiseduspictures*cough*
posted by orrnyereg at 6:45 AM on January 31, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by orrnyereg at 6:45 AM on January 31, 2018 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Weeping_angel at 1:43 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]