How to Survive Pre-Surgery Anxiety
September 23, 2017 11:52 AM Subscribe
Hi all, I'm having a surgery to remove stage 4 endometriosis in 1.5 weeks and the amount of anxiety I feel is so overpowering. How do I manage it?
I'll be on bedrest for 2 mos b/c multiple organs will be removed. I'll have friends checking in, but I have no support in any way from bio-family due to abuse and my shitty medicaid isn't covering much at all. I'm so terrified - physically, financially, etc. I started with a new therapist, and I have an anti-depressant and benzos and pain meds, but I don't want to increase my dose of those, and my psychiatrist is unsupportive of that. I do deep breathing, meditation, as much yoga as physically am able daily. I have been trying to keep as busy as possible but this anxiety is awful, and very constant. How do I get through these next 11 days without relapsing on alcohol or losing my mind or becoming suicidal? Any suggestions for managing anxiety and uncertain situations would be wonderful. (I should add that I've planned as much as I can in terms of post-surgical care).
I'll be on bedrest for 2 mos b/c multiple organs will be removed. I'll have friends checking in, but I have no support in any way from bio-family due to abuse and my shitty medicaid isn't covering much at all. I'm so terrified - physically, financially, etc. I started with a new therapist, and I have an anti-depressant and benzos and pain meds, but I don't want to increase my dose of those, and my psychiatrist is unsupportive of that. I do deep breathing, meditation, as much yoga as physically am able daily. I have been trying to keep as busy as possible but this anxiety is awful, and very constant. How do I get through these next 11 days without relapsing on alcohol or losing my mind or becoming suicidal? Any suggestions for managing anxiety and uncertain situations would be wonderful. (I should add that I've planned as much as I can in terms of post-surgical care).
- Massage. Get an awesome massage (or two.) The connection and oxytocin will help.
- Make sure you're taking your iron pills (if recommended).
- Get on a forum that talks about medical bills (they are often cut in half if you don't have insurance, and you can
take forever to pay them.)
- Walk in your favorite places.
- Find someone good to call and hug (I know, sometimes easier said than done.)
For recovery: As you probably know, get a stool softener and have an enema or two, just in case. Put a desk chair backwards by your bed to help you get up, and get one of those long gripper things from the drugstore in case you drop something. This is just to make recovery easier. The operation itself will be nothing. Either way, you will be so, so fine. I understand the fear, but it's truly not necessary. This is nothing that you cannot get through with a little help, which you will have. Please relax. You will be fine.
posted by serena15221 at 12:40 PM on September 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
- Make sure you're taking your iron pills (if recommended).
- Get on a forum that talks about medical bills (they are often cut in half if you don't have insurance, and you can
take forever to pay them.)
- Walk in your favorite places.
- Find someone good to call and hug (I know, sometimes easier said than done.)
For recovery: As you probably know, get a stool softener and have an enema or two, just in case. Put a desk chair backwards by your bed to help you get up, and get one of those long gripper things from the drugstore in case you drop something. This is just to make recovery easier. The operation itself will be nothing. Either way, you will be so, so fine. I understand the fear, but it's truly not necessary. This is nothing that you cannot get through with a little help, which you will have. Please relax. You will be fine.
posted by serena15221 at 12:40 PM on September 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
You write that your friends will be checking in. Please make it clear to them that this is major surgery, with 2 months of bedrest afterwards, and that you would benefit from more than just checking in. I know that asking for help is awkward, but they're your friends, they'll want to help you.
(Consider it from their perspective. For example, if we were friends in IRL, and I accidentally neglected you at this time because I had come away from our conversations with the wrong idea about what you're going through, either through my own obliviousness or because you'd been downplaying it somewhat to soothe your own anxiety -- which is not a criticism, I've done that myself, almost everyone does that at one time or another -- I would feel awful, and guilty, and awfully guilty that I hadn't done more to support you.)
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:39 PM on September 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
(Consider it from their perspective. For example, if we were friends in IRL, and I accidentally neglected you at this time because I had come away from our conversations with the wrong idea about what you're going through, either through my own obliviousness or because you'd been downplaying it somewhat to soothe your own anxiety -- which is not a criticism, I've done that myself, almost everyone does that at one time or another -- I would feel awful, and guilty, and awfully guilty that I hadn't done more to support you.)
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:39 PM on September 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
Years ago there were on-line (Yahoo Groups) and phone support groups for pregnant people who were on bedrest. Can you find something like that for your recovery? Your hospital's social worker might be able to put you in touch with one.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:44 PM on September 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:44 PM on September 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
As has already been said, please know that your anxiety is absolutely normal!
I found that my pre-surgical anxiety increased the more I read articles and message forums about my procedure online--so I forced myself to unplug. I had to find the balance between being informed and having too much information. It also helped to remind myself that, although my surgery was anything but routine to me, it was in fact a procedure that was done everyday--even multiple times a day--at my hospital, and that it was ok to "let my doctor do the worrying for me."
I also relied a lot on a guided meditation app in the days before to help me relax and sleep.
Best of luck to you.
posted by bookmammal at 2:04 PM on September 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
I found that my pre-surgical anxiety increased the more I read articles and message forums about my procedure online--so I forced myself to unplug. I had to find the balance between being informed and having too much information. It also helped to remind myself that, although my surgery was anything but routine to me, it was in fact a procedure that was done everyday--even multiple times a day--at my hospital, and that it was ok to "let my doctor do the worrying for me."
I also relied a lot on a guided meditation app in the days before to help me relax and sleep.
Best of luck to you.
posted by bookmammal at 2:04 PM on September 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
One thing that helped me a lot dealing with anxiety about surgery was thinking about the fact that surgeons do these operations every day multiple times of day. It's similar to the way I deal with anxiety about flying, thinking about how literally thousands of planes take off and land safely every hour of every day. So this operation is a very unusual event for you, but in the world of medicine, it's just normal life. Literally thousands of these procedures are performed every day all over the world. So in my own case, I would just use that as a mantra: They do this every day.
posted by FencingGal at 3:51 PM on September 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by FencingGal at 3:51 PM on September 23, 2017 [4 favorites]
I recently had surgery and had a lot of anxiety about it. I do this thing when I have anxiety where I imagine a button that is an on/off button. In my mind, I turn the button off. It works for me but I realize it won't work for everyone--visualization, that is. I do think, like was said, it's normal to have anxiety and it's good to realize doctors do successful operations all the time. Surgery has never been safer! You mentioned anti-depressants and benzos being prescribed. Are there any anti-anxiety meds that aren't benzos? I would try those, if they are available. Drink lots of water, eat well, sleep well (if you can). You may not decrease your anxiety but that won't keep you from having a successful operation. One day at time.
posted by DixieBaby at 7:14 PM on September 23, 2017
posted by DixieBaby at 7:14 PM on September 23, 2017
Response by poster: Thank you so so much for these wonderfully supportive and helpful answers!! <3
posted by Kombucha3452 at 9:15 AM on September 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Kombucha3452 at 9:15 AM on September 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
Two suggestion that I have found helpful for anxiety in other situations that might work for you:
1. Make a list (on paper, not in your head) of everything you are worried about. Under each item, write down either why you should't worry (eg. Worried I'm going to die. Doctor is very experienced, people have this surgery all the time, odds are vanishingly small etc.) or what you are going to or have done about it (can't move around: plan meals, arrange for delivery, talk to friends about hep etc.) Every time you start to worry ask yourself: is it on the list? If no, add it. If yes, do need to do something? if yes, either do it or schedule it. If no or if already scheduled then I'm not allowed to worry about it now.
2. Imagine your worry is like a baby hedgehog. Every time it wakes up, its quills stand up and try to poke. Your job is to talk to it in as soothing a way as possible. (Don't argue like you would with an adult, treat it like a young thing and be reassuring.) The anxiety hedgehog says "What if" and you say (in the most soothing voice ever) "It's OK, I've taken care of it/it's on my list/ it will be alright. Find videos of cute hedgehogs and image as you talk to your worry that you are stroking its little head and belly until it relaxes and goes to sleep.
posted by metahawk at 8:08 PM on September 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
1. Make a list (on paper, not in your head) of everything you are worried about. Under each item, write down either why you should't worry (eg. Worried I'm going to die. Doctor is very experienced, people have this surgery all the time, odds are vanishingly small etc.) or what you are going to or have done about it (can't move around: plan meals, arrange for delivery, talk to friends about hep etc.) Every time you start to worry ask yourself: is it on the list? If no, add it. If yes, do need to do something? if yes, either do it or schedule it. If no or if already scheduled then I'm not allowed to worry about it now.
2. Imagine your worry is like a baby hedgehog. Every time it wakes up, its quills stand up and try to poke. Your job is to talk to it in as soothing a way as possible. (Don't argue like you would with an adult, treat it like a young thing and be reassuring.) The anxiety hedgehog says "What if" and you say (in the most soothing voice ever) "It's OK, I've taken care of it/it's on my list/ it will be alright. Find videos of cute hedgehogs and image as you talk to your worry that you are stroking its little head and belly until it relaxes and goes to sleep.
posted by metahawk at 8:08 PM on September 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
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I'm coming up on my 3rd c-section and am finding I have increasing anxiety around the procedure this time around. I have largely managed it by creating freezer meal plans and seriously prepping my freezer full of easy meals for after the baby is here. In some ways it's lucky that I lost all of my prep to hurricane Irma because now I'm doing it all over again. Maybe finding busy prep work can help you move through this time. Best wishes for an uneventful surgery and smooth recovery!
posted by PorcineWithMe at 12:29 PM on September 23, 2017 [3 favorites]