Addressing a Buddhist monk by email
June 2, 2017 2:57 PM Subscribe
I recently met a Buddhist monk who asked for my email address so we could stay in touch. He introduced himself in person with a name like "James" and begins his email with, "I'm James, the monk who met you today." But his email also includes the sentence, "Below is my title and ordained name." He signed the email with his ordained name. How do I most respectfully address a reply to him? With James? Or the ordained name? Or "venerable" + ordained name?
If you were in a culture where Buddhist monks are part of "normal" life, you would probably already know the proper way to address them from your upbringing. But you probably aren't in such a culture, and the monk is (or should be) aware of this, so there is no expectation for you to use any special form, unless you are a member of the community, in which case you will pick up on such norms. Just being respectful in general is enough.
posted by mbrock at 3:48 PM on June 2, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by mbrock at 3:48 PM on June 2, 2017 [2 favorites]
He signed with his ordained name, and he drew your attention to it in his letter. Use the ordained name and title. Then if he wants to, he can say "call me James." Much less awkward than if it goes the other way.
His using James in person might have been related to the context of your meeting.
posted by FencingGal at 3:49 PM on June 2, 2017 [3 favorites]
His using James in person might have been related to the context of your meeting.
posted by FencingGal at 3:49 PM on June 2, 2017 [3 favorites]
I would ask him, actually. "Do you prefer to go by James, or do you use Title? It's important to me to be respectful."
He is probably James to people he knows personally, but goes by his title at work or at gatherings, but really only he can answer this for you. Monks get asked weirder questions than that, I bet, and assuming makes and ass of U and me, so you might as well.
posted by blnkfrnk at 4:33 PM on June 2, 2017 [9 favorites]
He is probably James to people he knows personally, but goes by his title at work or at gatherings, but really only he can answer this for you. Monks get asked weirder questions than that, I bet, and assuming makes and ass of U and me, so you might as well.
posted by blnkfrnk at 4:33 PM on June 2, 2017 [9 favorites]
Response by poster: His using James in person might have been related to the context of your meeting.
Ah, I should have said so. Yes, we met in a context where he needed to use his legal name.
posted by adiabat at 4:42 PM on June 2, 2017
Ah, I should have said so. Yes, we met in a context where he needed to use his legal name.
posted by adiabat at 4:42 PM on June 2, 2017
Best answer: If he signed the email with his ordained name, and is not a legal email, then addressing with Ordained Name is fine.
Or you can just ask him. Monks are people too.
Source: Buddhist who had spent a lot of time with Ordained monks.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 7:11 PM on June 2, 2017 [3 favorites]
Or you can just ask him. Monks are people too.
Source: Buddhist who had spent a lot of time with Ordained monks.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 7:11 PM on June 2, 2017 [3 favorites]
I once met a rabbi in a context where I didn't know he was a rabbi, and introduced myself in a friendly way to him, using only my first name. He replied in kind, with his own first name. It wasn't until I was actually in the temple and saw him onstage that I realized how unbelievably gracious he had been to me, meeting me precisely on my own terms. All of which to say, you should probably ask him, but the way he introduced himself to you might not be totally indicative of how you should address him.
posted by merriment at 4:07 PM on June 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by merriment at 4:07 PM on June 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
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posted by DarlingBri at 3:22 PM on June 2, 2017 [1 favorite]