What are my options here?
October 28, 2016 10:09 AM Subscribe
My job is a sick system and I feel burnt out, miserable, and trapped. This UK employer sponsors my Tier 2 work visa. If I quit, I will have to return to the US immediately, which I have absolutely no intentions of doing. Current UK visa rules mean it's nearly impossible for me to find a different employer, moreso since the Brexit outcome. I have three more years living here under a work visa until I can apply for citizenship, which is my long-term goal. As crazy as it sounds, I'd like to stay with them, but how do I survive this?
I am from the US and have been living in the UK on a work visa for two years so far (and four years in the UK on a student visa prior to that). My employer is generous, pays me very well, and the company has great benefits. I am also in a new role with a lot of potential for career advancement elsewhere — I'm learning so much already.
However, my work environment is terrible. I am overworked, undermined on a daily basis, my work isn't valued, nobody understands what I do, I deal with sexism frequently, do a boatload of thankless emotional labor and diversity work, and I just generally feel terrible when I'm there. I spend the hours that bookend my work days trying to let it go and defending myself from letting it damage my self-worth. The company itself is mismanaged, there is very little leadership, and little to no process or accountability. Despite this, they've managed to be a quite successful startup and that will likely be a continuing trend. They are also on a (verrrry slow and babysteps) path toward improving the company culture and fixing the systemic problems.
I love living in this small city in the UK. I love my friends and the activities I belong to. I love not being in America (oh god don't make me go back there). And I love who I am here.
I have looked extensively and there are no other visas that I qualify for. Under the current Tier 2 work visa rules, finding another employer means that they must A) apply for or already have a sponsor license, B) pay me at least £35K/year, and C) pass the RLMT. These are three significant hurdles that didn't exist/apply when I started working for my current employer. That doesn't even factor in employers who don't want to deal with the faff of hiring foreigners or whatever else social reasons that are making it increasingly difficult for us others.
I am seeing a great therapist here and we meet weekly. The majority of our work focusses on discussing my job. They've been helpful, but I would like to hear MeFites' perspectives on how to get through this time … happily and with my self-confidence intact.
I am from the US and have been living in the UK on a work visa for two years so far (and four years in the UK on a student visa prior to that). My employer is generous, pays me very well, and the company has great benefits. I am also in a new role with a lot of potential for career advancement elsewhere — I'm learning so much already.
However, my work environment is terrible. I am overworked, undermined on a daily basis, my work isn't valued, nobody understands what I do, I deal with sexism frequently, do a boatload of thankless emotional labor and diversity work, and I just generally feel terrible when I'm there. I spend the hours that bookend my work days trying to let it go and defending myself from letting it damage my self-worth. The company itself is mismanaged, there is very little leadership, and little to no process or accountability. Despite this, they've managed to be a quite successful startup and that will likely be a continuing trend. They are also on a (verrrry slow and babysteps) path toward improving the company culture and fixing the systemic problems.
I love living in this small city in the UK. I love my friends and the activities I belong to. I love not being in America (oh god don't make me go back there). And I love who I am here.
I have looked extensively and there are no other visas that I qualify for. Under the current Tier 2 work visa rules, finding another employer means that they must A) apply for or already have a sponsor license, B) pay me at least £35K/year, and C) pass the RLMT. These are three significant hurdles that didn't exist/apply when I started working for my current employer. That doesn't even factor in employers who don't want to deal with the faff of hiring foreigners or whatever else social reasons that are making it increasingly difficult for us others.
I am seeing a great therapist here and we meet weekly. The majority of our work focusses on discussing my job. They've been helpful, but I would like to hear MeFites' perspectives on how to get through this time … happily and with my self-confidence intact.
If becoming a UK citizen truly is one of your highest goals right now, then, yes. Put your head down. Do your assigned work. Don't take on extra unvalued work like emotional labor or diversity work. Don't fight with people over things unless absolutely necessary to maintain the quality of work associated with you. You can make it.
I used to work in a high-pressure, intermittently abusive (for some of its employees) environment and I protected myself considerably by always keeping in mind that my interests and theirs were separate and indeed often inimical. The salary they paid me only went so far towards overcoming that. In the end, I was responsible for determining the extent of my commitment; if I didn't set boundaries as to what they could take of my life, no one would. I worked long hours and made a great effort because I needed to for self-respect, to maintain my reputation, and to develop my skills, but I didn't take on extra work for no good reason and my highest priority always remained myself. (I fully recognize that this approach is usually not available to people in low-wage jobs, etc., but for the kind of professional job this sounds like, it generally is.)
posted by praemunire at 11:12 AM on October 28, 2016 [1 favorite]
I used to work in a high-pressure, intermittently abusive (for some of its employees) environment and I protected myself considerably by always keeping in mind that my interests and theirs were separate and indeed often inimical. The salary they paid me only went so far towards overcoming that. In the end, I was responsible for determining the extent of my commitment; if I didn't set boundaries as to what they could take of my life, no one would. I worked long hours and made a great effort because I needed to for self-respect, to maintain my reputation, and to develop my skills, but I didn't take on extra work for no good reason and my highest priority always remained myself. (I fully recognize that this approach is usually not available to people in low-wage jobs, etc., but for the kind of professional job this sounds like, it generally is.)
posted by praemunire at 11:12 AM on October 28, 2016 [1 favorite]
One of the very best things I did in a difficult situation recently was disengage. I still did my work to the best of my ability, but I no longer expected 'job satisfaction' - instead, I got that satisfaction from going to industry-related meetups and volunteering to teach my skill in under-resourced high schools. I originally meant to do it as networking in order to find a new job, but it ended up showing me that I do know what I'm doing and that my skills are valued.
In the end the bad situation passed and things have gotten better at my company, but I think it's so much better to have these other sources of satisfaction.
posted by maggiemaggie at 11:14 AM on October 28, 2016 [7 favorites]
In the end the bad situation passed and things have gotten better at my company, but I think it's so much better to have these other sources of satisfaction.
posted by maggiemaggie at 11:14 AM on October 28, 2016 [7 favorites]
Agreed with others who have said to disengage. Work on creating a firm boundary between work and the rest of your life. Don't volunteer for shit, don't stick your neck out, don't take on that unpaid emotional and diversity labor. Just do your job, continue to do it well, and try not to think about work the second you walk out the door. This is how I've survived similar situations. I've gotten very good at thinking to myself, "Don't worry about that right now, that's work. It'll still be there tomorrow."
posted by fiercecupcake at 11:34 AM on October 28, 2016
posted by fiercecupcake at 11:34 AM on October 28, 2016
I have been working in a sick system for over four years. It is possible if you have a VERY motivating light at the end of the tunnel! I agree with the other posters that disengaging will help, but to throw out another idea: is it possible to transition to working fewer hours or working remotely for some of your hours? Also, make sure you are doing everything possible to make the other areas of your life (friends, living space, fitness, etc) healthy and fulfilling to help you 'heal' and renew in your off-hours.
posted by carlypennylane at 1:00 PM on October 28, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by carlypennylane at 1:00 PM on October 28, 2016 [6 favorites]
I did this! I stayed with a horrific job for almost 2 years longer than I would have, purely because my visa was dependent upon it. Like you, I was trapped and couldn't leave. It was a toxic environment.
But, the day my Visa as granted, was the day I started applying for other jobs. I was out of there within a couple of weeks I think. And it was glorious.
I wouldn't change a thing. I would stick it out again and again if I had to, because it really is the old cliché of short term pain, long term gain.
Yes, it's awful while you are there, but as soon as you walk out of that door for the last time, you'll immediately forget how bad things were....a little bit like childbirth I assume!
So, knuckle down, heed all of the EXCELLENT advice above, get your CV ready, and focus on the long-term game plan and all of the positives that you can... because you'd absolutely KICK yourself if you lost your Visa because of this.
posted by JenThePro at 1:33 PM on October 28, 2016 [5 favorites]
But, the day my Visa as granted, was the day I started applying for other jobs. I was out of there within a couple of weeks I think. And it was glorious.
I wouldn't change a thing. I would stick it out again and again if I had to, because it really is the old cliché of short term pain, long term gain.
Yes, it's awful while you are there, but as soon as you walk out of that door for the last time, you'll immediately forget how bad things were....a little bit like childbirth I assume!
So, knuckle down, heed all of the EXCELLENT advice above, get your CV ready, and focus on the long-term game plan and all of the positives that you can... because you'd absolutely KICK yourself if you lost your Visa because of this.
posted by JenThePro at 1:33 PM on October 28, 2016 [5 favorites]
I was in a sick system, and a friend recommended this, which helped a lot: identify who has firing power over you (probably your boss) and continue being very responsive and attentive to them. All others, heads down, when they approach your desk with a request, say "I'm really on deadline right now", or "I must finish this project this week". Same answer when they ask why you haven't responded to their email or textmsg. Just let stuff fail.
posted by at at 3:50 PM on October 28, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by at at 3:50 PM on October 28, 2016 [4 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
No one understands what you do and no one values your work? Do less of it! Are *you* getting anything out that emotional labor and diversity work? Stop doing it!
I mean, this might be terrible advice that will get you fired. But it's worked for me before.
posted by mskyle at 10:53 AM on October 28, 2016 [16 favorites]