How well does CBT work for assertiveness issues?
August 25, 2016 7:01 AM Subscribe
I have come to realize that I have issues with assertiveness and am looking into therapy. How would I look into this? Would CBT be a good fit?
I found a local therapist who does assertiveness training using CBT. I've never done CBT so I don't know if it's good for my needs. My problem is that I either tend to be too aggressive and tell people to back the fuck off or I can be too passive, indecisive and let myself and my ideas be run over. I want to find the middle ground and learn to be assertive yet calm by nature.
I read somewhere online that CBT involves going over your week to try to go over parts that illustrate the issue at hand. However my regular day to day isn't very social so I don't have interactions with others that illustrate my problem most weeks. Does this mean this form of therapy wouldn't work for me?
I found a local therapist who does assertiveness training using CBT. I've never done CBT so I don't know if it's good for my needs. My problem is that I either tend to be too aggressive and tell people to back the fuck off or I can be too passive, indecisive and let myself and my ideas be run over. I want to find the middle ground and learn to be assertive yet calm by nature.
I read somewhere online that CBT involves going over your week to try to go over parts that illustrate the issue at hand. However my regular day to day isn't very social so I don't have interactions with others that illustrate my problem most weeks. Does this mean this form of therapy wouldn't work for me?
If your problem is that you're exhibiting behavior that you don't like and you can't fix on your own, and you're not particularly interested in the Deep Roots of the behavior and really teasing out why and how and how come and just want to stop, then definitely give CBT a shot.
posted by griphus at 7:22 AM on August 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by griphus at 7:22 AM on August 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
CBT (in my own experience) was more about being given some homework to do w/r/t behaviors, and then reporting back on how that went, how to adjust, and then going out and doing things to enforce the behaviors I want in the ways that work for me. So I think it may work for assertiveness, for sure.
posted by xingcat at 7:58 AM on August 25, 2016
posted by xingcat at 7:58 AM on August 25, 2016
I found a local therapist who does assertiveness training using CBT.
The fact that this therapist exists means that someone, with training in therapy, thinks that CBT is useful for assertiveness training. It might not work for you, but maybe it will. The best way to find out is to make an appointment and try it.
It will cost you money and time to try it, but it can't hurt.
Make sure that you tell your therapist about your concerns in your first session. I'm willing to bet that they've heard them before and will have an idea of how to advise you.
posted by sparklemotion at 8:21 AM on August 25, 2016
The fact that this therapist exists means that someone, with training in therapy, thinks that CBT is useful for assertiveness training. It might not work for you, but maybe it will. The best way to find out is to make an appointment and try it.
It will cost you money and time to try it, but it can't hurt.
Make sure that you tell your therapist about your concerns in your first session. I'm willing to bet that they've heard them before and will have an idea of how to advise you.
posted by sparklemotion at 8:21 AM on August 25, 2016
I did a course of CBT for social anxiety at a time when I did not have very much day-to-day interaction with people (job with few coworkers, etc) and I will say that that was a challenge for me with the way the program was structured.
If your days aren't sufficiently social, you could potentially seek out experiences that allow you to practice certain skills. Or your therapist might be able to modify things for you--my program was part of a study so there were specific protocols to follow. Also, my program was still helpful to me, despite the challenges.
I think it is worth trying if you can afford it. Another option might be looking for an assertiveness group course--I have never done one but those would have the advantage of a built-in space to practice the skills with the other participants (even if the scenarios are fake/created.)
posted by needs more cowbell at 1:49 PM on August 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
If your days aren't sufficiently social, you could potentially seek out experiences that allow you to practice certain skills. Or your therapist might be able to modify things for you--my program was part of a study so there were specific protocols to follow. Also, my program was still helpful to me, despite the challenges.
I think it is worth trying if you can afford it. Another option might be looking for an assertiveness group course--I have never done one but those would have the advantage of a built-in space to practice the skills with the other participants (even if the scenarios are fake/created.)
posted by needs more cowbell at 1:49 PM on August 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
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That's just one specific example of what CBT actually does. It certainly isn't a rigid "sit down and tell me exactly what you did this exact week" thing. I think it would help you, yes.
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:12 AM on August 25, 2016 [2 favorites]