Need a nerdy, ball-shaped gift for a testicular cancer survivor

July 15, 2016 8:20 PM

My friend is celebrating his five year testicular cancer-free diagnosis in December, and I'd really like to get him something amusing and wonderful as a gift. He's a pretty big nerd with a wonderful sense of humor about being post orchiectomy, so I'd love to get him something that's both commemorative and slyly hilarious - something he'd see and smile at every day that doesn't scream Lance Armstrong's missing testicle.

My crap ideas so far:
- a golden snitch
- a death star
- something round made from wood that's pretty but not nerdy maybe?

Help!

posted by santojulieta to Shopping (29 answers total)

Best answer: Surely a crystal ball. Future and all that. And a great thing to both make jokes about (Madame Zelda etc) and also beautiful to hold and to look at.
posted by taff at 8:24 PM on July 15, 2016 [5 favorites]

Best answer: Clearly a happy testical plushie.

If you want something more sly I bought my husband a small vintage brass figurine of a sperm whale after his vasectomy. Heh. Sperm.
posted by Crystalinne at 8:27 PM on July 15, 2016 [7 favorites]

Best answer: An orchid?
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis at 8:52 PM on July 15, 2016 [3 favorites]

Baoding balls, aka Chinese exercise balls. You can find some that come in a classy box so he can display them proudly. They come in all kinds of materials, gemstone and enamel and metal, some chime and some don't. You can probably find him some brass balls.

I have a couple sets that I've had since childhood and they actually do help me work out aches in my hands (I do a lot of repetitive stressful hand things as hobbies) as well as, I think, helped me get my non-dominant hand more on par with the other when I had a weird phase about that. They are great fidgeting devices.
posted by Mizu at 8:54 PM on July 15, 2016 [4 favorites]

Those chiming silver balls that you juggle in one hand are selling on eBay for next to nothing.
posted by ostranenie at 9:13 PM on July 15, 2016 [3 favorites]

...brass balls, heh.
posted by ostranenie at 9:13 PM on July 15, 2016

Best answer: A polished stone sphere?
posted by The Architect at 9:16 PM on July 15, 2016

Dorodango?
posted by OneSmartMonkey at 9:48 PM on July 15, 2016

Best answer: How nerdy? Given the statistical nature of something like a cancer diagnosis how about a 120 sided die? It ends up being pretty round.
posted by mce at 9:51 PM on July 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

A friend had testicular cancer, his mom bought him a set of those magnetic balls you can make shapes with and he found it pretty amusing.

Buckyballs
posted by permiechickie at 10:04 PM on July 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

disease balls?
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 10:08 PM on July 15, 2016

Best answer: Doesn't exactly *scream* "lance armstrong's missing testicle", but maybe... a bust of Einstein? (assuming multilingual puns are nerdy enough.)
posted by smcameron at 10:37 PM on July 15, 2016 [4 favorites]

Neuticles keychain
posted by spacewrench at 11:27 PM on July 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

Sheet music for the Colonel Bogey March.
posted by Trivia Newton John at 1:07 AM on July 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

For a nerd, I bet a Sphero would be a lot of fun!
posted by brianogilvie at 1:38 AM on July 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

I don’t know your/your friend’s opinions on this sort of thing, but there are various products made out of tanned animal scrota—stuff coin purses, pocket knife cases.

Bring an avocado dish to the party. The similarity between avocados and testes has been noted for centuries.
posted by Fongotskilernie at 4:02 AM on July 16, 2016

One of those colored glass 'gazing balls' on a pedestal for his yard? (They even come in different sizes!)
posted by easily confused at 4:34 AM on July 16, 2016

A set of interchangeable balls? (There's a bunch on ebay.)
posted by trip and a half at 5:07 AM on July 16, 2016

Best answer: If you're suitably wealthy, a Gömböc.
posted by scruss at 5:08 AM on July 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

Spheros are so much fun! If his nerdiness includes being a Star Wars fan, how about a BB8 version?
posted by SuperSquirrel at 6:29 AM on July 16, 2016

A Magic 8 Ball.
posted by _Mona_ at 6:32 AM on July 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

This t-shirt from the Truck Nutz website.
posted by AugustWest at 6:56 AM on July 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

Kangaroo scrotum coin purse to put said gift in.
posted by wwax at 8:16 AM on July 16, 2016

This sleep monitor thing is super nerdy (produces data, analyzes data) and is beautiful and very BALL.
posted by fingersandtoes at 9:17 AM on July 16, 2016

Best answer: Grow some marimo?
posted by sukeban at 9:42 AM on July 16, 2016

Truck Nutz?
Bike Balls?
posted by adamrice at 10:22 AM on July 16, 2016

Death Star TEA infuser for added immature giggles.
https://www.amazon.com/ThinkGeek-Officially-Licensed-Star-Wars/dp/B00A2UUC88/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1468691202&sr=8-1&keywords=death+star+tea+infuser+ball

Sorry. Sense of humor of a 13 year old boy here.
posted by pearshaped at 10:47 AM on July 16, 2016

If your friend is a fan of the tv show Silicon Valley you could get him a couple of Hoberman switch pitch balls that they toss in the show.
posted by homesickness at 2:32 PM on July 16, 2016

Bike Light? Seriously, take a look!
posted by cameradv at 5:57 PM on July 17, 2016