Work - should I stay or should I go?
March 19, 2016 8:19 AM Subscribe
Another MeFite here needing help deciding what career path to take. After working at the same place for almost 20 years, I'm in the process of interviewing with a new company. The new company is the polar opposite of where I am now, and I'm having a tough time making a decision. They haven't offered me the job yet but things are looking good – I want to be ready if they do.
Current company: large national company in the publishing industry, but not a publisher (it's in my profile if you're really interested.) I've been there for 16 years.
They're a very traditional company with no structured career advancement path, no opportunities to work from home (in my role), and no professional development. Bottom line is, I'm bored and wanting to improve my work life. Some more money wouldn't hurt but I can't honestly say that's my main motivation.
Pros:
* I know what I'm doing, and I'm good at it. My boss recognizes and values my contributions.
* My daily schedule is very flexible, in that other than meetings I can do what I want as long as my deadlines and goals are met.
* Sixteen years is a long time – I've got a lot of vacation time, goodwill, and friends at this place.
Cons:
* My boss tries really hard to show her appreciation, and it does come through, but not really recognized for my contributions except for a pat on the head from my boss.
* I worked hard for, and got, an advanced degree that is related to the work my company does. I didn't do it specifically for work, but did hope it would bring some recognition. It brought bupkus.
* Goals are not realistic, and I don't see them decreasing any time soon.
* We are terrible at inter-company communcation and training, so the people who have been there the longest tend to get stuck doing the work no one else understands.
* I'm started to dread going to work every morning.
New company: established about 20 years ago. VERY small staff – maybe 15 people or so. Owner is hands-on and a full-time member of the staff. I would work virtually.
Pros:
* Something new – yay!
* It sounds like they really encourage their staff to be full members of the team. They seem poised to make changes in their philosophy and are nimble enough to do it.
* The people I've talked to who work there seem really positive about this company and their role in it.
* The job is close enough to what I do now that I feel good about succeeding.
* Some travel
Cons:
* Something new – eek!
* I'm concerned about working from home. I don't want to be bored/distracted/lonely. Also my husband works from home now. Our house isn't that big.
* The new company works with independent publishers – not the Big Six. Even though intellectually I know better, it's hard to break out of the "self-published/independent presses are inferior" mindset that the traditional publishing industry perpetuates. I feel terrible about this attitude, but there it is.
* They do have one policy, relating specifically to my role, that is contrary to how I do my job now (think tools in deal negotiations.)
I would appreciate any advice or thoughts you may have, fellow MeFites!
Current company: large national company in the publishing industry, but not a publisher (it's in my profile if you're really interested.) I've been there for 16 years.
They're a very traditional company with no structured career advancement path, no opportunities to work from home (in my role), and no professional development. Bottom line is, I'm bored and wanting to improve my work life. Some more money wouldn't hurt but I can't honestly say that's my main motivation.
Pros:
* I know what I'm doing, and I'm good at it. My boss recognizes and values my contributions.
* My daily schedule is very flexible, in that other than meetings I can do what I want as long as my deadlines and goals are met.
* Sixteen years is a long time – I've got a lot of vacation time, goodwill, and friends at this place.
Cons:
* My boss tries really hard to show her appreciation, and it does come through, but not really recognized for my contributions except for a pat on the head from my boss.
* I worked hard for, and got, an advanced degree that is related to the work my company does. I didn't do it specifically for work, but did hope it would bring some recognition. It brought bupkus.
* Goals are not realistic, and I don't see them decreasing any time soon.
* We are terrible at inter-company communcation and training, so the people who have been there the longest tend to get stuck doing the work no one else understands.
* I'm started to dread going to work every morning.
New company: established about 20 years ago. VERY small staff – maybe 15 people or so. Owner is hands-on and a full-time member of the staff. I would work virtually.
Pros:
* Something new – yay!
* It sounds like they really encourage their staff to be full members of the team. They seem poised to make changes in their philosophy and are nimble enough to do it.
* The people I've talked to who work there seem really positive about this company and their role in it.
* The job is close enough to what I do now that I feel good about succeeding.
* Some travel
Cons:
* Something new – eek!
* I'm concerned about working from home. I don't want to be bored/distracted/lonely. Also my husband works from home now. Our house isn't that big.
* The new company works with independent publishers – not the Big Six. Even though intellectually I know better, it's hard to break out of the "self-published/independent presses are inferior" mindset that the traditional publishing industry perpetuates. I feel terrible about this attitude, but there it is.
* They do have one policy, relating specifically to my role, that is contrary to how I do my job now (think tools in deal negotiations.)
I would appreciate any advice or thoughts you may have, fellow MeFites!
Every job change I've had has been good for me. I've learned new things and made more money.
The advantage of long tenure at one company is accrued vacation. That's pretty much it. Maintain your network with LinkedIn and go for it.
posted by LoveHam at 8:30 AM on March 19, 2016 [2 favorites]
The advantage of long tenure at one company is accrued vacation. That's pretty much it. Maintain your network with LinkedIn and go for it.
posted by LoveHam at 8:30 AM on March 19, 2016 [2 favorites]
As far as your concerns re working from home: You can rent a small office or look into coworking spaces in your town.
posted by bunderful at 8:45 AM on March 19, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by bunderful at 8:45 AM on March 19, 2016 [5 favorites]
The "starting to dread going in to work" part leapt out at me. If that's the case, not much can make up for that.
posted by rpfields at 8:55 AM on March 19, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by rpfields at 8:55 AM on March 19, 2016 [8 favorites]
I had been in a job for 12 years and arrived at a place much like you're describing: The environment and perks were good, but couldn't make up for the fact that there was very little keeping me there professionally and I was there only to avoid the perceived pain of making a change. When we had management and direction changes, there was nothing left in the perks category that could offset it, so I found something new.
I found that going into a new environment with habits and ideas that had served me well for so long in the previous environment was more of a challenge than I had expected. Being open to new ideas about things that you're experienced with will require patience and a bit of risk.
Going to a cube-farm employee to a virtual one was not without change for me - the daily ritual of the commute, the routine, the work friends, the stability. I didn't realize how dependent I had grown on them. You'll need time to work out new rituals, and you have to be ok with a bit of discomfort while that's going on.
In the end, it took two years and two different employers before I found the right place to land. I've learned a lot, grown my network and range a bit, and have happily landed at a new place that values my work and makes me happy. I couldn't have seen how this would have worked out, but I'm glad I did it.
tl;dr when pain points are more than comfy points and you need to grow again, find a good place to land and ( if you can handle the risk ) go for it. You'll have to unlearn some habits and learn new ones, and you'll have to grow again in new ways. Ultimately, it was worth it for me.
Best of luck, and go get 'em!
posted by HannoverFist at 9:28 AM on March 19, 2016 [1 favorite]
I found that going into a new environment with habits and ideas that had served me well for so long in the previous environment was more of a challenge than I had expected. Being open to new ideas about things that you're experienced with will require patience and a bit of risk.
Going to a cube-farm employee to a virtual one was not without change for me - the daily ritual of the commute, the routine, the work friends, the stability. I didn't realize how dependent I had grown on them. You'll need time to work out new rituals, and you have to be ok with a bit of discomfort while that's going on.
In the end, it took two years and two different employers before I found the right place to land. I've learned a lot, grown my network and range a bit, and have happily landed at a new place that values my work and makes me happy. I couldn't have seen how this would have worked out, but I'm glad I did it.
tl;dr when pain points are more than comfy points and you need to grow again, find a good place to land and ( if you can handle the risk ) go for it. You'll have to unlearn some habits and learn new ones, and you'll have to grow again in new ways. Ultimately, it was worth it for me.
Best of luck, and go get 'em!
posted by HannoverFist at 9:28 AM on March 19, 2016 [1 favorite]
Sixteen is way too long to stay at a company that is not regularly promoting you, and of which you have no ownership. It makes them take you for granted. Nothing makes people value them more than graciously walking away from them.
The question I'd ask myself would be, "Where will I learn more (about stuff I want to learn about)?"
posted by musofire at 9:32 AM on March 19, 2016 [2 favorites]
The question I'd ask myself would be, "Where will I learn more (about stuff I want to learn about)?"
posted by musofire at 9:32 AM on March 19, 2016 [2 favorites]
The new role sounds great except that it's new and unfamiliar. "Start[ing] to dread going in to work every morning" sounds like it's time for a change. It's not clear from your question--is this effectively a promotion? Would you be making more money? Or is it just a different role at the same level?
I do think it will take some time to adjust to the new role, but if you go into it with that attitude, I don't see that it would be a problem. I would definitely look into a coworking space for at least once or twice a week so that you have some socialization and outside interaction.
And really, a 16 year tenure at a single company is now the exception rather than the rule, so if you're in it for 2 years and decide you'd really rather be in an office, you could probably make that move without burning any bridges.
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis at 9:35 AM on March 19, 2016 [1 favorite]
I do think it will take some time to adjust to the new role, but if you go into it with that attitude, I don't see that it would be a problem. I would definitely look into a coworking space for at least once or twice a week so that you have some socialization and outside interaction.
And really, a 16 year tenure at a single company is now the exception rather than the rule, so if you're in it for 2 years and decide you'd really rather be in an office, you could probably make that move without burning any bridges.
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis at 9:35 AM on March 19, 2016 [1 favorite]
Before you go, check to see if there is any retirement benefit at the existing place, and what you might need to do to be eligible for it. If there is a benefit, with 16 years in it might be possible to just fill out a few forms on your way out, then wait 'til you are the right age, then come back and claim it.
posted by CathyG at 9:42 AM on March 19, 2016
posted by CathyG at 9:42 AM on March 19, 2016
I'm started to dread going to work every morning.
If they offer you the new job, take it. I agree with others mentioning coworking space. Maybe working sometimes at a coffee shop or library could also work. Gym time and a weekly or monthly volunteer commitment could help alleviate any loneliness.
If they don't offer you the job, I would start applying for others. Once you're starting to dread going into work, that's not a healthy job.
posted by Lay Off The Books at 9:45 AM on March 19, 2016
If they offer you the new job, take it. I agree with others mentioning coworking space. Maybe working sometimes at a coffee shop or library could also work. Gym time and a weekly or monthly volunteer commitment could help alleviate any loneliness.
If they don't offer you the job, I would start applying for others. Once you're starting to dread going into work, that's not a healthy job.
posted by Lay Off The Books at 9:45 AM on March 19, 2016
Vacation time is a really big deal. No amount of money can buy you time.
Most companies will try to hire new people at two weeks of vacation, but vacation time is negotiable just like your salary, especially if you are experienced. If you go for the new job, try to negotiate more vacation time if that is important to you.
posted by JackFlash at 11:44 AM on March 19, 2016
Most companies will try to hire new people at two weeks of vacation, but vacation time is negotiable just like your salary, especially if you are experienced. If you go for the new job, try to negotiate more vacation time if that is important to you.
posted by JackFlash at 11:44 AM on March 19, 2016
As for the working from home part, I do that, and our place isn't that big (by typical US standards – very small, indeed!). My husband's work is contract, so he's mostly home, unless he's totally away on site. It's okay for us, because even though we're in a small space, we give each other psychic space; he works on his stuff in his little work area, I work on stuff in my little work area, and it's nice to have the other person there, but we don't insist on getting attention or distracting the other person when they are busy doing their thing – and that includes, when needed, after-work hours. Even if you work from home, you still have a need for down time after work, however you prefer it. Sometimes I just want to veg a bit before coming together to cook and chat, etc.
I only recently sort of figured out why it's been sort of natural for us: I'm a bit of a introvert who would always steal away into a nook to read, etc, and my husband is an extrovert who grew up in a very small place with his family; if they didn't figure out how to give each other mental/emotional space in that small physical area, it would have been an unhappy scene ... so he grew up knowing how to gracefully live with others in small places. If you guys have some skills in that department, it will go easier. If one or both is going to be interrupting the other and expecting that presence = on-demand attention, much harder.
Aside from that question, it sounds to me like the (likely) new offer is really promising and I would probably make the jump. If you were feeling like you were being appreciated and advanced by the current company (as opposed to just your manager making something of an effort) it would be more of a two-way street, but it seems like they are taking you for granted as an old hand who is probably settled in, and they're depending on you to pick up slack because you've been there a long time, but aren't acknowledging it with advancement, respect, or other quality of life/work recompense to ensure your continued happiness there. And the unrealistic goals thing as standard operating procedure is a miserable way to work.
Mostly this: "I'm started to dread going to work every morning. "
I'd at least give this new possibility a very, very serious look.
posted by taz at 11:52 AM on March 19, 2016 [1 favorite]
I only recently sort of figured out why it's been sort of natural for us: I'm a bit of a introvert who would always steal away into a nook to read, etc, and my husband is an extrovert who grew up in a very small place with his family; if they didn't figure out how to give each other mental/emotional space in that small physical area, it would have been an unhappy scene ... so he grew up knowing how to gracefully live with others in small places. If you guys have some skills in that department, it will go easier. If one or both is going to be interrupting the other and expecting that presence = on-demand attention, much harder.
Aside from that question, it sounds to me like the (likely) new offer is really promising and I would probably make the jump. If you were feeling like you were being appreciated and advanced by the current company (as opposed to just your manager making something of an effort) it would be more of a two-way street, but it seems like they are taking you for granted as an old hand who is probably settled in, and they're depending on you to pick up slack because you've been there a long time, but aren't acknowledging it with advancement, respect, or other quality of life/work recompense to ensure your continued happiness there. And the unrealistic goals thing as standard operating procedure is a miserable way to work.
Mostly this: "I'm started to dread going to work every morning. "
I'd at least give this new possibility a very, very serious look.
posted by taz at 11:52 AM on March 19, 2016 [1 favorite]
Personally, I would totally go for it - it sounds like a great chance to get some new energy in life and some upside potential in your career.
My one advice to think seriously about how you will get your social needs met when you are working from home - unless you are highly introverted, you can't rely on just your husband for all of your social contact.
posted by metahawk at 3:30 PM on March 19, 2016
My one advice to think seriously about how you will get your social needs met when you are working from home - unless you are highly introverted, you can't rely on just your husband for all of your social contact.
posted by metahawk at 3:30 PM on March 19, 2016
I left my big corporate employer after 14 years, and returned there after a year at another company. The reasons I think my move failed was: I was so desperate to leave that I took the first opportunity, I didn't adequately value the perks and reputation I had built up, and I hadn't really explored my options for internal advancement before I left.
These might not apply to you, but I totally thought I was making the right choice at the time and it turned out to be the wrong one. Luckily, my old boss found out I was looking again and asked me to come back to a new position, and I got my service credit (and thus vacation time and pension) back. It was a hard lesson but it definitely taught me to think very hard about the next time I start thinking about greener grass.
posted by cabingirl at 4:06 AM on March 20, 2016
These might not apply to you, but I totally thought I was making the right choice at the time and it turned out to be the wrong one. Luckily, my old boss found out I was looking again and asked me to come back to a new position, and I got my service credit (and thus vacation time and pension) back. It was a hard lesson but it definitely taught me to think very hard about the next time I start thinking about greener grass.
posted by cabingirl at 4:06 AM on March 20, 2016
Response by poster: Thanks everyone! I took all of your advice to heart, negotiated some extra vacation, and my first day at my new gig is May 2nd.
posted by lyssabee at 9:02 AM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by lyssabee at 9:02 AM on March 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
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