What's good about being short?

March 5, 2016 9:00 AM

My daughter is 5 and she is going to be quite a bit shorter than average. I'm worried she will go through a stage of being pretty sad about this.* Can you help me provide examples of when being small is a good way to be? For example, being small can help find really great hiding spots in "Hide and go seek." Mom and dad can pick her up and swing her around more easily. Any other ideas?

She went to dance class today and she's quite a bit shorter than the other kids in the class. Some of them are older than her, but not all of them. I know if she knew that not all the kids are older than her, she would have some questions and possibly tears. Kids often want to grow up to be big and strong and it can hurt when you realize the "big" part isn't going to happen. Did you also face a realization like this when you were growing up? Was there anything your parents did that helped you? I'd also love to hear from shorter men, because my son may end up being on the shorter side too (although his percentiles are much higher than my daughter).

Bonus points: Are there any role models in books or tv who use their small size to their advantage? Or who are heroes or extra happy because they are small? I don't want to compare her to Stuart Little because I don't want her to worry she's THAT much smaller. But any other ideas? I do remember when I was a teenager I read an article that said many Hollywood actresses are petite and that made me feel much better about myself. But my daughter is too young to care about Hollywood actresses, and of course I don't want her to compare herself to them.

*Maybe she won't care at all, but I doubt it. She gets her height from me and I remember this being a really tough realization for me. I realize that everyone has differences and that being petite is a relatively small (ha) cross to bear. But I still want to find a good way to talk to her about this. Also, being small does carry physical vulnerabilities and can be a disadvantage in some circumstances. So I will not dismiss her worries about it.

posted by areaperson to Society & Culture (48 answers total)

Being short makes being wedged into airplane seats (especially on long-haul flights) a lot easier. I'm 5'4", so on the borderline between petite and regular, and I just about barely manage to make myself comfortable. I have no idea how my taller friends manage.

Also? It's easy to get things that are too long hemmed, but not so easy to find things that are long enough if you're tall.
posted by Tamanna at 9:19 AM on March 5, 2016 [20 favorites]

Short people live slightly longer! And have fewer back problems.

If you get too tall, you can't be an astronaut. (Or a cosmonaut ... Yuri Gagarin was only 5'2".)

Famous short people:
James Madison was quite short, only 5'4"
Prince is only 5'2"
Lionel Messi and Diego Maradona are both short for soccer players
Laura Ingalls, of the Little House books was under 5 feet as an adult and she was pretty fierce, and known as strong
Barbara Boxer (D-CA) is 4'11"
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:21 AM on March 5, 2016 [8 favorites]

Best answer: The Princess and the Pony by Kate Beaton is a children's picture book about the littlest pony among the big warrior horses.

Gymnasts and circus acrobats are often short and powerful.
Jockeys are generally short and lightweight.

An old question here: what sports are suited for short people?

Certain movie-making roles require short women, e.g. to fit inside a costume to perform stunts.

There are industrial roles that benefit from someone being short and petite, to fit into tight spaces for e.g. repairing parts.

Great example: the recent amazing paleontological find in a cave in South Africa that required petite female paleontologists to fit into the excavation site
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:23 AM on March 5, 2016 [22 favorites]

Absolutely don't dismiss it, though don't be quick to assume it will be a problem for her because it was a problem for you. That said, you can point out that Martin Luther King Jr, Winston Churchill, Napoleon and Gandhi were all shorter than average. These and other famous short people are in this helpful list.

If she likes horses, being small is a sine qua non for being a jockey.
posted by ubiquity at 9:24 AM on March 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

Best answer: I came in to mention the Rising Star archaeological site too, and presumably in general being small has advantages for cave exploration.

I don't know how much emphasis it gets in selection criteria but there's an advantage in having low-mass astronauts because every single kilogram costs so much to lift into orbit.

Or if she would prefer a life of crime there's burglary and stealing things from art museums!
posted by XMLicious at 9:34 AM on March 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

Best answer: I'm on the taller side of petite, and female. I've always been small. I was really proud of it as a kid because I liked to play ninja. It made it easier to hide in small spaces, crawl through small tunnels, and disappear into shadows. Also cool ninja skills like flipping and cartwheeling are much easier to do when you're little (like this comment says, also confirmed anecdotally by my 6 foot tall friend who loved gymnastics but had to put in SO much work to do flips). So if she's a tomboy I recommend showing her lots of kid ninja movies from the 90s.

Other pluses: Airplane seats pretty much never suck, and if I get lucky and have no one in my aisle I can sleep lying down with no problems. I never get hit in the face by tree branches while strolling around chatting with a friend. Climbing on top of counters and cabinets to reach things is totally reasonable. Traveling in countries where people are shorter on average is never a problem; the shower head is never too short and I don't have to bend my neck to fit into train cars. I also play hockey and people frequently misjudge my center of gravity and size. I had one person try to hit me and go tumbling head over heels because they missed.

Final note: Not sure how this contributed, but my mother would always look at me mournfully and say "you should have been taller, if only you had consumed more milk and slept more as a kid". As a contrary little git this only made me prouder to be small, but your kid's mileage may vary.
posted by rhythm and booze at 9:36 AM on March 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

Best answer: see also

I responded to that thread too, but: I'm way shorter than the people in my family and I'm from Wisconsin, where everyone is Nordic or German and six hundred feet tall. It's really been fine.

Benefits: Yeah, airplanes! That's actually huge, as a person who likes to travel. It's also easier to maneuver in crowds, generally. And I don't stand out when I visit parts of the world where people are shorter.

Role models: I watched The X-Files religiously in junior high and high school, and I loved what a badass Scully was in spite of being short. Ditto Princess Leia, and I started watching those movies (over and over again) when I was about your daughter's age.
posted by goodbyewaffles at 9:37 AM on March 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

This might never come up, but I'm a short adult (5'3" and change) and work with kids and two advantageous things happen:

1) I am either looking most tweens in the eye or am just taller than eye-level, so I'm less intimidating than the other adults and children are more likely to come talk to me and ask for help or just chat

2) I do not always trigger the "hey, an adult is watching" group radar in a crown of middle-schoolers, so I am more likely to sneak up on poor behavior a-brewin' and can gently put the kibosh on it before it's a whole big deal.

I have always fit in hammocks, bunk beds, airplane seats, Volkswagens, historical houses built for tiny historical people, roller coasters and rides, cubicles, and mascot costumes.

If she grows up to be a straight woman who likes tall men, her dating field is larger because there are more tall men relative to her height.
posted by blnkfrnk at 9:38 AM on March 5, 2016 [12 favorites]

Best answer: Rock climbing! Being tall has its advantages there, but like gymnastics and dance, being compact and flexible is a huge advantage.
posted by suelac at 9:49 AM on March 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

Is she actually sad or are you just concerned that she will be? My daughter is almost 9, has been 5th percentile or shorter for her entire life, has almost always been the shortest in her class, and is regularly mistaken for a first grader. This has never caused her a single moment of sadness. (I've asked.) She likes being short. There is no social stigma for girls.

I would personally not borrow trouble. But the book "Stand Tall, Mary Lou Melon," is fabulous anyway.
posted by xeney at 9:51 AM on March 5, 2016 [25 favorites]

Kristin Chenoweth is 4'11"

I was always the smallest person in my class. I remember it being tough as a kid, especially because everyone always thought that my brother, who is three years younger, was my twin. I really appreciated being smaller as I grew up a bit more. For better or worse, society markets fashion and clothing towards shorter/smaller women, and while I'm not super feminine, I love being able to rock a pretty dress.

I'm 5'4" as an adult now, and I love my size and figure. I read a lot younger than I actually am.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:56 AM on March 5, 2016

A bit under 5'2'' lady here. Seconding being more comfortable in all public transportation. As well as theatres, church benches, lecture halls... basically wherever you get crammed with no legroom.

Also, better fuel mileage. She'll need less energy and nutrients to function properly. Great advantage for participating in Survivor. Or the Mars mission!
posted by sively at 9:57 AM on March 5, 2016

I'm pretty sure the Shakespeare Theatre here in DC has its "though she be but little, she is fierce" t-shirt in regular stock, but they don't have that stock online. Etsy does seem to have an assortment of prints featuring the line, though.
posted by fedward at 10:02 AM on March 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

Response by poster: Yes, she has expressed sadness about this. I'm not worried that she will not eventually just accept her height. I'm looking for advice to help her deal with or feel ok with it now. Thanks for the answers!
posted by areaperson at 10:02 AM on March 5, 2016

Yes, she has expressed sadness about this.

Then lose the defeatist language —  "she is going to be quite a bit shorter than average." You don't know that — she's only 5. Height is mostly genetic but partly environmental. It's affected by nutrition, so this is a great opportunity to encourage her to eat well. The future isn't written yet!
posted by John Cohen at 10:05 AM on March 5, 2016 [12 favorites]

There's a beautiful wordless version of the fable of The Lion and the Mouse by Pinkney.
posted by LobsterMitten at 10:07 AM on March 5, 2016

Then lose the defeatist language

Kids will pick up their cues from you. Me and my sister are below-average short (I'm 5'2", she's an inch and a half taller) and this was never presented as a problem in our family (even with much taller parents) it was just "Well, people are different" I understand that you are really trying to be empathetic and helpful to her, but it's also clear that you feel that this is a built in potentially BAD thing and, well, that's not really a given. In contrast my mother did play up the "It's so hard to be female!!" angle from when I was very small and that's been really hard to unlearn, I never think about my height.

So, here is what I like

- everything in the thrift store fits me, pretty much, and I can get "cute shoes" and underwear easily if I want to.
- airplane travel is a non-issue for me, I fit in seats, I am basically comfortable
- same with cars, I have a lot more flexibility in how I can fit into a car (front seat, back seat, driver) the only thing I've had trouble with was bench seat pickup trucks
- my food budget is TINY, it takes very little food to keep me alive
- my clothes are small which makes packing and traveling easier
- I look young for my age (I am sort of medium sized for my height)
- I am always shorter than the men I date (this is one of those things that I don't care about but with cultural baggage cishet people often talk about how it's tough to be a tall woman having to date tall men exclusively)
- I am buzzed after 1.5 beers which means drinking is cheap for me (and usually brief)

Honestly I just never thought about it much. I got teased a little about it in elementary school but by Jr High people found other things to be tease-y about. When people form MetaFilter meet me they are often surprised that I am this short.
posted by jessamyn at 10:14 AM on March 5, 2016 [14 favorites]

I work with a few women who are short. They use it to their advantage because people often underestimate them. They are low key and unassuming and then hi-yah! kick ass all of a sudden and win the day. Seriously, in any environment that it at all confrontational or full of conflict, they are amazing to watch in action.
posted by Beti at 10:15 AM on March 5, 2016

I should have said, first, people don't get as agitated around the shorter women as they do around some of our bigger dudes. Bigger dudes make them feel threatened and they feel like they have to puff up accordingly. The smaller women (and one smaller guy) start off on a better footing because the other people don't feel threatened to begin with. (This would make more sense if I said where I work but I can't. Just think of it as something like being a bar bouncer.)
posted by Beti at 10:18 AM on March 5, 2016

Best answer: I'm 5'3" and was a tiny child. My mother and her father were both 4'11" at their tallest.

I don't remember ever feeling sad about being small. I thought it was neat. I fit into small spaces, and identified with a lot of tiny characters in books I read. (The Borrowers, plus elves and hobbits, etc.) I saw myself as agile, ingenious, resourceful, clever. Basically, I learned to value attributes other than size and strength.

I do remember disliking how people treated me though. I particularly disliked people picking me up: I found that super offensive. Bigger kids would infantilise/mother me. Adults constantly called me cute. People seemed to want to pigeonhole me as vulnerable, fragile, younger than I was, physically weak, in need of help. Plus perky, ugh. A lot of that was gendered, especially as I got a little older and people started wanting me to have a boyfriend to protect me, etc.

My mother didn't like that and neither did I. She encouraged me to think of myself as strong, brave, capable -- which I think was awesome and good for me. So I would be wary of gender traps, and would try to avoid idealizing small in gendered ways. (You don't sound like you're doing that, but other people likely will.)

Good luck.
posted by Susan PG at 10:31 AM on March 5, 2016 [9 favorites]

Best answer: Formerly tiny kid here: if you're looking for short heroes, I loved Reepicheep (a mouse) in the Narnia books at that age. Aside from being the fiercest warrior, his height is actually an asset in battle since he can easily attack ankles but isn't easily seen.

Apart from that, I nth getting her involved in sports where smallness is an asset. For me that was ice-skating and equestrian sports. Being small as an equestrian is not just about being a jockey, it means you can ride any horse/pony, which is a big deal if you want to compete, since competition category levels are generally determined according to the horse, not the rider. And riding in general can be pretty empowering for a small person, since you're up so high and in control of a two-ton animal.
posted by veery at 10:45 AM on March 5, 2016 [6 favorites]

I'm less tall than average and it's awesome because I'm more efficient since I pack the same components into a smaller footprint.

It also gives me advantages when scuba diving because I can make a tank of air last longer, so I get to stay down for the max time.
posted by mightshould at 10:48 AM on March 5, 2016

A lot of earlier film heroes were on the small side because I guess, we naturally want to root for "the little guy". So Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton...and she might enjoy Popeye or any of the Bugs Bunny cartoons where the bad guy is some big hulking brute.
posted by bonobothegreat at 10:48 AM on March 5, 2016

Best answer: I'm female and 5'2", and I hate being short. Pretty much always have. People saying it's not a big deal "for women" are making generalizations. I always wanted to be tall, all my aunts are tall and I was pretty devastated never to get my late growth spurt. However, there are some consolations. The leg room factor is huge. More generally, as I get older, I notice that I do much less damage to myself when I fall. I've taken tumbles that would have put my dad in traction at my age with nary a bruise. I trip a lot so this is a big deal for me.

My cousins and aunts complain that men aren't interested in dating a woman taller than them. I always point out that a guy who'd reject them over something so silly isn't worth their time anyway, and it's nice to have a filtering function.
posted by town of cats at 10:49 AM on March 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

The most widely accepted height for Kim Kardashian appears to be about 5' 2", and it hasn't slowed her down too much, I'd say.
posted by jamjam at 11:09 AM on March 5, 2016

I was a very small child, always one of the shortest kids in class, and I am a short adult. When I was a child I did not mind being small, because I was very agile and flexible - I could climb almost anything and gymnastics came easily to me. So if she's feeling sad now about being short, I would put her in activities where being small is an advantage, as others have said above.

Now as an adult I do mind being short, especially when shopping for clothes. But I've found people tend to overestimate my height, and this seems to be due to my standing very straight, with my shoulders back. So do encourage your daughter to have good posture, and to stand in a way that takes up all the space she needs, and not to hunch or shrink upon herself, which I notice a lot of women tend to do.
posted by needled at 11:53 AM on March 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I'm in here first to echo many of the sentiments that folks have already shared re: actual advantages to being short, but wanted to caution you against inadvertently instilling in your daughter too much "short pride" or any amount of pride based on something she has no control over. Your daughter is going to be short - she is also going to always be the same race as she is now, and probably also the same sex. There's no reason to go out of your way to instill pride in things she didn't actually do. Save pride-building for her accomplishments, not on her qualities, and the result is a more well-rounded kid with higher self-esteem. So what if the other girls are taller than her? It has absolutely no bearing on how well they all performed on that test, how well they can tuck a somersault, how well they excavated dinosaur bones once they all got in that cave, etc.

An emphasis on how people come in all shapes and sizes and they're all absolutely okay is the message I'd personally want to convey.
posted by juniperesque at 11:56 AM on March 5, 2016 [13 favorites]

Lionel Messi and Diego Maradona are both short for soccer players

I was just going to say, there are *lots* of short soccer players! Messi's 5'7", Maradona's 5'5". Sebastian Giovinco, the best player in MLS last season, is also 5'5". And on the women's side, Megan Rapinoe is 5'6", Mallory Pugh is 5'4", and Meghan Klingenberg is 5'2".
posted by asterix at 11:58 AM on March 5, 2016

I am about 5'2". I wouldn't mind being taller (why is the cereal always on the highest shelf at the bodega?) but it's pretty rarely something I think about, and I definitely never thought about it growing up. I was able to wear the clothes I wanted and boys liked me just fine. I usually forgot I was shorter than most people in my grade. I do like being able to curl up comfortably anywhere I want, and I also sort of like when people underestimate me because I seem little and young and inconsequential, and then I get to surprise or scare them. Tiny, fierce women I related to include Princess Leia, Buffy Summers, and Veronica Mars.
posted by Yoko Ono's Advice Column at 12:25 PM on March 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

I am an acrobat. I am big, but I lift people over my head a lot, and those people are often small. Now, I like to see a diversity of styles in acrobatics, and I am always pleased to see small bases and large flyers. And a large flyer can swap positions and lift me in the middle of a routine. But simple physics dictates that it will always be easier to throw a small flyer into a double somersault. So, I'm not saying you should encourage your daughter to run away and join the circus, but from tiny to huge, everyone has something amazing that they are perfect for.
posted by Nothing at 12:32 PM on March 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

I am 5'2 and I always hated how the other children picked on me because I was the smallest. There are definitely advantages, and I have worked with children and insubordinate men and had no more trouble than others would because I have practised the "are you freaking kidding me" look, but I could have done without the teasing and still hate the "you're short" comments. (I get a lot less of them since I am surrounded by Japanese people.*)

When your daughter reaches middle school and is still on the short side, maybe have her read Song of the Lioness by Tamora Pierce? The heroine is short, but kicks ass.

Also, I would tell her that people who pick on others for their size lack actual greatness of heart, even if they may be tall.


* Not to play into the stereotype of Japanese people being small, not all are and the younger generation is growing, but they don't seem to comment on women being small. They love to comment on people's weight, though - being small means weight gain is more visible, too.
posted by LoonyLovegood at 12:44 PM on March 5, 2016

Yeah, don't worry too much when she's just five. I'm a guy who started high school at 4'11", 95 pounds. Two years later when I got my driver's license, I was 5'4". Now, I'm 6', ~200 pounds, which is above average. I didn't really hit a growth spurt until college. So it's possible to be really, really short for a really, really long time, and still end up normal-sized.

Now that I'm normal-sized or bigger, I'm actually a little sad. Being called "Shorty" or "Pee Wee" stinks, but in general, it's a lot easier to keep a low profile, which is helpful if you're an introvert. When you do succeed at something, it generally gets you some extra acclaim - you feel better doing the same things that normal-sized people do.

As a guy, I was into sports as a kid, and I naturally looked up to small athletes. I played hockey specifically, and Doug Gilmour was my hero. (Side note about hockey: being small can save you a fortune on equipment. My feet are still tiny, but just big enough to be adult-sized in skates. Junior skates are so much cheaper!) I never really got into basketball, but Spud Webb and Muggsy Bogues were fun. It's not too hard to find smaller athletes. For girls, gymnasts are a good start.

Ultimately, it's out of her control. Just embrace what you are!
posted by kevinbelt at 12:51 PM on March 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Best answer: My 5'0 friend was a cheerleader in school and got to do all the best and coolest high flips because she was the smallest. She was always the top of the pyramid, too.
posted by mochapickle at 12:56 PM on March 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Good news for 5 year olds who love cuddles. She can fit perfectly on your lap for hours!
Good news for people who like shoulder rides and piggy backs! When I was a tall, gangling kid, I was so jealous of my much shorter sister who got loads more cuddles and rides.
Good news for those who love tree climbing. Same sister could skittle up a tree in no time, whilst I was ground level falling all over my out of control limbs.
posted by honey-barbara at 1:08 PM on March 5, 2016

Do you know why your daughter is upset about being short? It will inform your response. I was upset about my age and intellectual abilities being underestimated due to my size. Becoming a serious athlete helped with my own appreciation of my body and with adults praising my physical activities while taking me seriously. I recommend gymnastics or rock climbing, both of which are easier for shorter people. It helped me appreciate my (very capable) body.

Dressing more maturely (like a mini-adult with sweater sets, pearls, current fashion trends, etc. instead of t-shirts and shorts) cut down on people (mostly adults) assuming I was younger than I was and helped most dramatically. It really helped to know that I could change how I was perceived and didn't have to wait around for my height to change.

I was of-the-charts small until age 16. They had to draw my data points in the bottom margin of the graph at the doctor's; I was the size of a 5-year-old as a 5th grader. Now I'm a tall adult. I would encourage you not to make being small a core part of her identity at such an early age, since if she does grow it will make it harder for her to transition. This applies also to weight. If she internalizes that she is and must always be "petite," it may be hard for her if she is normal weight or overweight as a teenager or adult.
posted by harmonia at 1:22 PM on March 5, 2016

Oh, yeah, I forgot that in high school, I was asked to join both cheerleading and crew because of my size. The cheerleading team needed a top for their pyramid (I didn't want to be a cheerleader, but my tiny 4'11" friend who wound up joining the team was incredible at it and getting her to join the team was considered a real coup; she could do these really sick backflips the taller girls couldn't) and the crew team needed a coxswain. The crew team was particularly insistent but I didn't want to get up at 5am every day. They had to go with someone taller but were grumbly about it. I still feel rather bad I didn't agree.
posted by Yoko Ono's Advice Column at 3:11 PM on March 5, 2016

I bow my head to no lintel.
posted by lucidium at 3:31 PM on March 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Second sonogram: wife says it is obviously a boy and I say he's got your legs and he is going to be short.

If I get down on my knees my arse rests just over my ankles. His rests half down his calves. Shortest kid in 4rth grade.

So I asked him to take a look at this question and provide input. He says that nobody has ever been able to punch him in the head but he doesn't like straining his neck to talk to tall people. Do you feel bad about yourself because you are small? No, but (...stares out the window for a full minute...) I think most bad things are big. It's kind of like the mammals versus the dinosaurs.

Being me I pulled up Short People and emphatically sang along. Being him, he told me to take my glasses off before doing a pullup on the back of my chair and taking backwards me to the floor and assuring me that short people have some reason to live.

He can't do a jump shot but nobody gets that ball away from him. Harlem Wizards were here for a school fundraiser and he was going right through their legs. Kid can turn.

I don't get as much help in the kitchen as my mom got from me. He can hoist himself on the counters but there have been some spectacular dishdrops so he is the one who makes sure things don't burn in the oven. The spirit is willing and the flesh is not weak, he's just small and it is OK.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 4:00 PM on March 5, 2016 [4 favorites]

Short people have a more stable centre of gravity. Any climbing activities will be an advantage for them. Also, some anecdata for you. I have a tall friend who married a tall man and has very tall children. She is always complianing about how people look at her kids and assume they are older based in their height. Several times, people have chastised her toddler about behaviour, and she has had to explain that the kid may look big, but she's still quite young. Being tall is not always the nirvana you may think it is :-)
posted by JoannaC at 5:46 PM on March 5, 2016

I am 5'2" and the plane seats thing was the first thing to come to mind. Also I am really not sporty but I found my proportions were great for skiing, which seemed to come really naturally to me -though I am heavy for my height, which may have contributed.

To be honest as an adult I really don't notice my height that much - and I say that as someone whose partner is about 6', and my two younger sisters are 6" and 7" taller than me.

Possibly she is a bit passé as an example, but Kylie Minogue is 5'2" like me.
(Some of the examples above aren't good ones given that average height for women in the USA is somewhere between 5'2.5" and 5'5" depending on racial background, according to this.)
posted by Cheese Monster at 7:15 PM on March 5, 2016

When I was a kid, I was always tied for being the shortest girl in the class, although there was another girl around my height so at least I wasn't alone. I grew so slowly. In 7th grade I finally reached 5'0", my maximum height. I never had the flexibility for gymnastics, figure skating, or dance. I was a spunky kid though, and although I was aware I was the shortest and did wish I could be just a couple inches taller, I don't recall ever really feeling like my height was a hindrance to anything I wanted to do. I had some fun with it too. And she will eventually run into other people her age that are around her height or maybe shorter.

I think maybe playing sports helped me in the confidence area. I loved Little League, tee-ball and minor league.

Lady Gaga is 5'1", for what it's worth.
posted by wondermouse at 7:30 PM on March 5, 2016

Best answer: I am short, have always been short, and I hate being short. My particular physicality means people take me less seriously, and my height is part of that. People also get physical with me in ways they don't with bigger people. I find none of this acceptable. I have heard all the arguments for why shortness is great and I don't really find any of them compelling.
That said, I don't think it's ever too early to teach girls that their bodies belong to them, that their bodies have strengths and limitations, and that no one has the right to tell them there's anything wrong with the way their bodies are. If your daughter's life is like mine, she will have someone pick her up, or she will have someone lean on her like she's furniture, as a "joke" - I think my teenage and young adult life would have gone better if someone had taken those opportunities to teach me that it was OK to say "hey, don't do that", because being touched against your expressed wishes is a violation whether it's being picked up or whether it's being touched sexually. It is never too early to teach about consent, about dignity, and about the kinds of jokes you should and shouldn't ignore.
posted by gingerest at 8:54 PM on March 5, 2016 [4 favorites]

I am 4'11".
This is ALL in how you market it. I loved being small when I was young, it's what set me apart from the pack. I really can't remember a single instance where my height made me feel bad. I am kind of unsure where this stigma is coming from? It is a good thing to be a small female where I grew up!
I am the second-tallest of my fourteen female cousins, who range from 4'8-5'0. All of us were raised as though we were perfectly normal. Because we are!
I hope I'm not coming on too strong but I have never ever wanted to be any bigger than 4'11.
I'm wondering if you are not super small, and you're wondering if it is weird to actually physically exist in a world built for people larger than yourself? Because I can assure you that it is fine. The most annoying thing is cooking at regular counters.
Some things she has to look forward to:
- always getting a part in the school play (someone has to play the kid)
- dodgeball and capture the flag favor small people
- xxs and petite 00 are always on clearance
- you can fit into kids clothes forever
- public transport is very comfortable
- all cars are very comfortable.

Good luck to you and your daughter !
posted by pintapicasso at 9:38 PM on March 5, 2016

I'd echo what some above mentioned about attributing any normative value to her height. It shouldn't be seen as a problem to be overcome, that she can still be awesome "despite" her size. Such subtle messaging can attach from a young age and give body image problems down the road. That said, as a small kid I took great pleasure in the song Little People from Les Miserables. It's a fun song for a kid to sing at the top of their voice!

I'd always been the smallest in class since kindergarten, and eventually topped out at 5'. It's never bugged me much (except that point when I realised I didnt meet the minimum height required to join the police force).
posted by hellopanda at 11:40 PM on March 5, 2016

- xxs and petite 00 are always on clearance

This is very very dependent on the demographics of your area. If you happen to live in a place with lots of petite women, the small sizes can get very picked over because stores tend to order fewer of them by default and aren't as data-driven as they could be. If you are a size 4 you'll always be able to find the dress you want in your size; if you're a 4P, maybe not; if you're a 00P, it can be a toss-up. Despite my small height I have size 8.5 feet and a very average bra size, and I love that they're pretty much always in stock compared to the teensy-ass clothes I have to dig to find.

gingerest makes a *great* point about teaching her about bodily autonomy and reinforcing that it is NEVER okay for people to do stuff to your body without your consent. I remember being picked up against my will and carried like a baby when I was in the second grade and having adults who should have known better tell me to lighten up because "It's just because they think you're so cute and fun," as if I were a doll rather than a human being. Luckily I think there is more awareness now than there was in early 90s that kids should always be allowed to say "Don't do that to my body" no matter what "that" happens to be.
posted by town of cats at 12:05 AM on March 6, 2016 [1 favorite]

Best answer: The Nac Mac Feegles from Terry Pratchett's 'Tiffany Aching' stories are excellent role models for small people being utterly fierce.
posted by h00py at 4:17 AM on March 6, 2016

"And though she be but little, she is fierce."

When I read your question, the first thing that popped into my head was imagining Andre the Giant's mom writing her question, how to give her big boy a positive outlook on being larger than all the other kids!

Your daughter is five. Gently, I suspect you are projecting some of your own feelings here. Let her know you think she's perfect, and don't bother comparing her with other kids. There will come a time where she may mention her height, or wish to be taller. This is what heels and platform shoes are for! Lol! I am just 5' 2". It was a big deal when I was allowed to get high heels, at age 14. We all have so many options to be more (or less) than the way we are born. There are much bigger things to worry about. Enjoy everything!
posted by LaBellaStella at 6:30 AM on March 6, 2016

Another job for short people: costumed characters that walk around Disneyworld. My boss' daughter was disappointed that she was too short to be a Disney princess, until she found out that ONLY short people can be Olaf. That's her job now, and she loves it.
posted by CathyG at 10:33 AM on March 6, 2016 [2 favorites]