Babies falling from the sky

January 22, 2016 1:58 PM

In the next 6 months I will be going to 7 baby showers. I have never been to a baby shower, I do not have a baby and I don't know anyone with a baby. I don't know what is helpful (pack of diapers?) what is too impersonal (pack of diapers?) vs what is too personal-preference (pack of diapers?). I'd like to come up with a standard gift package for my expecting friends and family.

None of these people are in dire straits. They are well-off and can buy whatever they actually will need for the baby. I am on a much tighter budget of $50 per gift.

For wedding showers I always give something small off the registry, a (small) piece of art and a knit washcloth.

I'd like to come up with something similar for baby showers. My original thought was knit booties + picture book + something off the registry but I feel like this is not enough? And I know new moms are inundated with crap and I don't want to add to the pile.

Is there like, a secret special brand of swaddle blanket or something in the ~$50 range that I could just give every time? Or is that just adding to the crap?

Please help.

posted by pintapicasso to Grab Bag (44 answers total)

Best answer: My original thought was knit booties + picture book + something off the registry but I feel like this is not enough?

This is perfect! Most people love homemade gifts and the thought is more meaningful than the dollar amount. Chances are they will buy themselves all the big items they need so the thoughtful and personal will be most appreciated.
posted by smorgasbord at 2:09 PM on January 22, 2016 [25 favorites]

Best answer: Yeah, that sounds perfect!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 2:09 PM on January 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

I vote against the fancy swaddle blankets. I've never found them to be any better than the slightly larger and much cheaper basic flannel square blanket (the kind used in the hospital). I vote for a book and something off the registry. If you add something handmade like knit booties, that's even better. It really is fun to read to a slightly older baby and a board book with lots of contrast can be great (we always give Mary Murphy's I Kissed the Baby!).
posted by Area Man at 2:11 PM on January 22, 2016

Best answer: Your original thought is perfect! My go-to gift for all baby showers anymore are a Sophie Giraffe teether, a onesie in 6 months (I can't knit), and a copy of the book Corduroy.
posted by kimberussell at 2:12 PM on January 22, 2016 [8 favorites]

New parents tend to overbuy adorable newborn clothes, which never get worn because the newborn doesn't remain a newborn for very long. What they don't buy as much of is adorable clothes for 12-18 month old babies, so that's always an option.

Although it has been proven that it is mathematically impossible to have too many cute onesies.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 2:18 PM on January 22, 2016 [6 favorites]

I usually give something off the registry because, like you, I don't have kids and don't know what new moms need. And I figure that, especially with second/third babies, they might already have certain toys, books, etc. from their older kids.

Another good option I have sometimes gifted is clothes in the one-year-old size. My mom suggested this to me because apparently at their shower, everyone gave them newborn clothing which I quickly grew out of, and then they had to scramble for clothes once I got a little older. This has always been appreciated, and it is pretty fun to see that cool t-shirt on the little toddler several months down the road!
posted by rainbowbrite at 2:19 PM on January 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

My go-to small-things package of baby stuff:
- 6 pack of baby socks (must be all the same style and color because otherwise you wind up with what seems like hundreds of unpaired baby socks)
- a pack of those old-school Gerber diapers that will be used for ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING (except diapers) forever and ever
- gas relief drops
posted by erst at 2:21 PM on January 22, 2016 [4 favorites]

I usually buy off the registry but it's also fun to buy something for when they're two. The whole idea seems ridiculous when you see the tiny newborn, but then it's so fun to see the hat you got years later on the toddler.
posted by sweetkid at 2:23 PM on January 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

I always do 3-4 TODDLER books and parents LOVE my gift. They will get tons of baby books but think ahead and get something for them to read 18-24 months for now. Always goes over great.
posted by pearlybob at 2:24 PM on January 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

Registry is good: they WANT that stuff.

My, and my mother's, go-to baby shower gift is a gift card to an easily accessible store with the note "This is for that thing you really wanted that nobody got you" (me) or "This is for diapers" (Mom). Not as personal as a handmade whatsit, but highly usable and so far, always welcome.
posted by telophase at 2:27 PM on January 22, 2016 [3 favorites]

Registry is perfect - no need to add-on if you're not crafty or made of money. If you do gift something that's not on the registry, pick something that's not for a newborn and include a gift receipt. I know many new parents who ended up with multiples of the same book, many Sophies, etc and would have appreciated trading them for things they didn't have.
posted by quince at 2:31 PM on January 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

I typically do books -- maybe one baby book, but mostly toddler or even older books. (If they have that book already, they can just regift, they will know other people with children, but I am pretty careful -- if I don't know well enough, I buy very recent books and not the classics.) I also occasionally add a toddler sized hoodie towel. I also often do homemade stuff. All my friends are inundated with friends who have slightly older children and so don't actually need clothes for the first two years.
posted by jeather at 2:33 PM on January 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

A favorite book, and something for when they're a bit bigger. If there's a children's book that's somehow meaningful to you, that's a good choice. No need for it to be specifically a baby book - babies can listen to any sort of picture book.

I got this spoon from my dad for my second child and loved it, and I've given it to a couple of people myself. A cute kid's bowl/plate is also something people don't get a ton of, and wind up needing sooner than they expect.

A cloth book can be fun because the kid can chew on/play with it, but it's also a story. Two we've enjoyed are Squishy Turtle and Friends, and Good Night, Teddy.
posted by telepanda at 2:57 PM on January 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

Maybe this is because our kiddo spits up a lot, but I've found it handy to have an embarrassingly large number of burp rags. So if I want to go off registry, I like adding this to the mix.
posted by craven_morhead at 2:57 PM on January 22, 2016

I always give a case of baby wipes and some clothing in the 12-24 month range. Books too.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 3:11 PM on January 22, 2016

My go-to now, after having a baby, is medicine cabinet stuff. Saline spray, baby chest rub, baby Tylenol, gas drops, maybe a nosefrida or some gripe water. Even if they don't need it all right away, they will eventually.
posted by bizzyb at 3:29 PM on January 22, 2016 [4 favorites]

I almost always give this set of Zutano booties + hat, in the size that will correspond to baby's first winter, plus this clip-on mobile. And maybe throw in a book or two if the parents are especially good friends or I find something cute on sale. The booties are trendy right now, but the biggest benefit is that because they snap, they're really hard for baby to kick off and lose. And the mobile has been a huge hit because babies love things that are really high contrast, and it can be clipped to strollers and carseats and such to distract baby while parents run errands or eat or whatever. These are recommendations finely honed over many years of friends having babies and experimenting with what I actually see them and their kids using.
posted by decathecting at 3:35 PM on January 22, 2016 [3 favorites]

It's all about the registry for showers. My go-to gifts were always Boppy pillows because they felt like big gifts but weren't materially more expensive than whatever I'd have guessed on my own, and they were almost always on the registry. For when the baby comes, you might develop a signature gift, though -- for me, that was always a Gymboree reversible blanket, because you don't outgrow a blanket.

But registry, registry, registry.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 3:39 PM on January 22, 2016

Best answer: I think your idea is great! Something practical and something meaningful. Books are terrific--they don't clutter up the house and everyone can use them. New parents will (eventually) really appreciate them but probably aren't inclined to start building a children's library right now.

At my son's baby shower people primarily brought books and, six years later, we're still discovering new ones he's growing into. We got everything from board books to "How Things Work" to read-alouds to T. S. Eliot. (One wonderful friend gave us "Pat the Bunny" with a "warranty" on it, because he'd eaten several copies as a child--we actually took him up on it when the first very well-loved copy was destroyed.) I love being reminded of the friends who picked them out, and my son loves to hear about the people who were imagining he might like this book even before he was born. If you have a favorite children's book, even for elementary age or as a read-aloud, that'd be an awesome "signature gift."
posted by cogitron at 3:52 PM on January 22, 2016 [2 favorites]

I'm going to two baby showers next weekend (for three babies -- one set of twins), so I feel you. I bought small things off the registry, made three hats, and bought some board books.

Registry gifts are GREAT. And useful. And I'm so thankful for those who use them. Normally, I do registry and a book and if it's not on the registry -- I'll just do a bunch of books.

One of the things that you might need to be prepared for is that people go overboard. One of my most uncomfortable experiences was a babyshower where the Mom explicitly said that she just wanted everyone to bring a book. I brought a book and a little knit toy. Everyone else brought a book and ALL THE ONESIS AND BLANKETS AND OTHER BABY THINGS. And I felt awful because there was an unspoken expectation by the rest of the guests and I didn't fill it. That was five years ago and I've now grown up a bit to realize it wasn't my fault for following instructions and I shouldn't feel bad about it, but in case you find yourself in that situation, you are not alone.
posted by JustKeepSwimming at 3:53 PM on January 22, 2016

My standard baby gifts are baby bodysuits, in neutral colours, the ones that come in packs of 4 at any department store, for less than $10 a pack. They're so cheap that I get a few packs in different sizes, some short-sleeved, some long-sleeved, to cover the baby's growth and different seasons. My friends who are parents tell me that you can't have enough of these.
posted by essexjan at 3:59 PM on January 22, 2016 [2 favorites]

Best answer: knit booties + book + registry item is perfect.

If you're looking for more ideas...my go-to baby shower gift is a 4-pack of the Aden and Anais classic muslin swaddle blankets, because they're cute, don't take up much room, they are highly versatile (swaddle, sunshade, on-the-grass blanket, nursing cover, peek-a-boo cover). Plus when your kid gets attached to them (as both of mine did) you have 4 of them so the One True Blankie is never lost or in the wash when you need it. And they are on the expensive side so I think parents are less likely to buy them for themselves. Make sure you get the large Classic blanket and not the smaller and less expensive version, which are not as good for swaddling.
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis at 4:19 PM on January 22, 2016 [4 favorites]

Clothes can be a bit tricky. They'll get an infinite amount of newborn sizes, and then the larger sizes can be a bit hard to predict season-wise. Will they be 9 months size in winter? Or will they be a big baby and blow through the size 9 months in the summer and never get to wear the 9 month winter clothes people buy them. I would have loved a handmade gift, book, and tiny registry item myself. I think your instincts are good.
posted by instamatic at 4:36 PM on January 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think your instincts are right-on. FWIW, my experience (having gone to both baby showers and weddings) is that the average baby shower gift comes in at a lower price-point than the average wedding gift. In my experience--which has been among the "can buy anything we need ourselves" crowd--$50 is at the mid- to high end if you're not immediate family. I think knit booties + book would be fine, or something off the registry would be fine, and all three together is going above and beyond into great present-giving.
posted by iminurmefi at 4:58 PM on January 22, 2016

Best answer: Seconding Aden and Anais blankets. We used ours for years & multiple kids.
posted by lizifer at 4:59 PM on January 22, 2016 [2 favorites]

Seconding medicine cabinet items. My standard baby gift is a gift basket with items I don't think they will receive. I typically get wipes (can never have too many of those!), medicines, diaper rash medicine, disposable bags for used diapers, spoons, wash cloths, whatever I find. Since you are doing multiple showers you could get a variety of things and just distributed them.
posted by Giailh at 5:16 PM on January 22, 2016 [2 favorites]

My wife used to coach field hockey when she was pregnant with our first. Her team all got together and threw her a diaper shower. Hands down, if they have storage space - the greatest thing as a parent is having like 30 big boxes of diapers of every size. Sure, we'd eventually run out of one size and supplement at the store - but as the boy grew we were able to test sizes and brands for the first few packs. It turns out, for our son Pampers were great to about 9 months then we really really liked the Huggies. Similarly, Luvs wasn't great, but was great for a daytime pinch. The eco friendly ones were like sandpaper and resulted in our kid crying in addition to copious leaking. So, don't knock diapers. Diapers are a frickin godsend.
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:21 PM on January 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

Yes, follow the registry.

Books are good. Board books are particularly good - fewer things to be ripped up by curious babies when they start crawling and grabbing things. My daughter LOVES lift-the-flap books and they've kept her entertained over the last six months or so as her motor skills have developed - which is pretty much the longest any of her entertainment objects has managed to keep her attention day after day. +1 to lift-the-flap board books. (The "Spot" series is popular here, as is "Dear Zoo.")

A warning on booties and hats: yes, they are cute. I got a lot from lovely crafty friends when my daughter was born. Unfortunately, she was born in the height of a very hot summer and we moved to the tropics when she was two months old, so there was literally 0 opportunity for the cute knit things to be worn or used. The same goes for the cute knit sunhats we've gotten as she's grown - they're WAY too heavy for our climate. Be mindful of when the baby is due and the size of any crafty things you're giving to make sure that if they are going to be useful in cold weather, they're appropriately sized for the age the kid will be.

We were gifted ten identical kitchen towels for our wedding for some inexplicable reason, and they became the most used objects in our house once our daughter was born - great for every bodily or other liquid that ends up on you, the sofa, the floor, the table, etc. So yeah, any sort of cloth/rage/towel, as many as you can offer so they can basically just leave one within easy reach of any seat in the house. We have an Aiden and Anais bamboo muslin that I really like and take everywhere in my handbag without it taking up much room. Pajamas (particularly the swaddling type) and diapers were all trial-and-error so some we used all the time, some we gave up on after the first use. At 14 months my daughter is pretty agnostic about stuffed animals and always has been; she has a few she'll cuddle from time to time but no particular attachment, so we have a big drawer full of them we've gotten as gifts along with the vague hope she'll be interested in them as she gets older. As toys go, my daughter's been unpredictable on what she has and hasn't liked, but this ball was gifted to us by a friend and it's been awesome -- very easy as a first toy because those holes make it easy to grab on to, it makes noise, and as she's gotten older and understands throwing a ball, it's still usable.

Clothes! Between hand-me-downs and gift we basically didn't have to buy clothes for the first 6 months of her life. That was great. What's even better is having the same adorable outfit in two sizes (preferably post-six-month sizes) because a when a (parent's) favorite outfit is finally outgrown it's very sad, so having the next size up to move into is fantastic.

For parent gifts: sure, gift cards to Target or wherever they're registered. Food delivery service gift cards (it was hard for me to allow myself to spend the money on food delivery versus eating yet another PB&J sandwich). Some sort of "do something nice for yourself" voucher when either the primary caregiver or both parents is/are ready to have some time away.
posted by olinerd at 5:38 PM on January 22, 2016

Registry item is always appreciated. Another item would be a gift card to come over and feed the parents sometime in the first month, and overlook the mess, the tired faces, the odd stains. Someone to listen to them, or talk about their adult lives outside of Planet Baby that they will inhabit. One worry is that your friends B.B. (Before Baby) won't come around anymore and it's nice to see them more.
posted by nickggully at 5:51 PM on January 22, 2016

I am a new mom.

Problem with diapers is that people prefer different brands, or may plan to do a service.

Books are good - go for board books.

For clothes, we really needed but didn't get very many a) footed sleepers, b) long sleeve onesies, c) footed pants. (We had a late fall baby.) We also got tons of bigger sizes and NO newborn or 0-3 clothes and then had a surprise small early baby.

Booties are cute but I would go for a hat instead. Ask other knitters who are moms about what is practical in terms of size/shape/materials.
posted by vunder at 6:04 PM on January 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

Also, first favorite toys are this soft cube and this wobbly guy.
posted by vunder at 6:10 PM on January 22, 2016

Best answer: As others have said, your original idea was great. And it has been 16 years (!) since we had a baby. But if you wanted to act like you really knew the inside scoop on babies, you could present everyone with a book and a tub of "Butt Paste" and tell them that your internet friends told you it was the greatest thing in the world for diaper rash.
posted by sheldman at 6:10 PM on January 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

I don't think I'm saying anything new, but wanted to chime in to add weight to these specific comments.

Aden & Anais blankets, as mentioned, would be the great super secret special brand of swaddling blankets in the $50 range. They are generic enough to work for people you don't know well, and generous enough to still seem thoughtful for those you do.

While it's a lovely gesture, I'd avoid giving anything knit - booties, hats, or even blankets. I never used a single piece of the hand-made clothing we were given - it was all too futsy and not right for the season when it fit and also never my style. And the blankets are lovely but I needed to wash my babies' stuff frequently and often with hot water and/or bleach (thank you, super poopers) and hand-knit blankets just really don't fit that lifestyle.

I tend to go through the registry and do A&A blankets, or a combo gift of a bunch of matching things: bath towel, wash cloth, soaps, lotions, etc, or bottles/nipples/cups/drying rack/pumping supplies or something like that. And always a small board book, with an accompanying book plate (which I don't stick in, in case they get multiples of the same book, but I love remembering who gave us all the books that we read and re-read and re-read, and I'd never remember except for our book plates).
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 6:44 PM on January 22, 2016 [2 favorites]

My go-to is the All White Basics box. I just buy all the white onesies, socks, burp cloths, etc in various sizes and configurations based on whatever my budget might be. I do this all at Target. Then I often throw in some lotion, Butt Paste, etc. It's just... all white. So it's gender neutral and I've never had a parent complain they had too many white t-shirts when their baby is barfing up on everything. Nothing's expensive or precious, nothing is going to generate cute pics, but I've had good feedback on how USEFUL it actually is to have those things.
posted by marylynn at 7:15 PM on January 22, 2016 [4 favorites]

Zip-up sleepers in sizes 9 months or 12 months. They won't get as many of these in advance and they will need them. Unless the baby will live in a warm climate, in which case the Aden&Anais swaddlers blankets are really helpful. I think an outfit paired with a book is a great shower gift. I'm not sure how your friends roll, but in my circles shower gifts are closer to $25-$40 price range. For a good friend, I'd also hand make something and spend a bit more. Oh, and if they register for a white noise machine, buy that! They will use it every day and think of you fondly.
posted by areaperson at 7:36 PM on January 22, 2016

Your idea is lovely and just the right scale: what I have below is a bonus in case it doesn't feel right. I have a kid, and one of my go-to baby gift things is actually a gift for the parents. An added advantage for someone without a lot of baby experience is that you're getting a gift for the friend you know and not the new one you haven't met yet.

What I do is get a basket or similar thing that can be easily maneuvered one-handed, and add a mix of things that would appeal to someone who is hungry, thirsty, bored, tired, gross feeling, and stuck under a baby. A baby with a loving family has everything they need; most of the time it's the parents that need a hand. Any combo of iTunes/Audible gift card, trashy novel, snacks (a giant container of a thing you know they like), notepad and pen, earplugs, nice Thermos that can be opened one-handed, hand sanitizer, lotion, etc. At the shower, the response is meh, but a month after the kid is born, I get thanks for The Basket, which has grown capital letters because it gets used so often.
posted by tchemgrrl at 7:36 PM on January 22, 2016

If the mom has the right sense of humor, Boudreaux's Butt Paste could be an option.
posted by bendy at 8:01 PM on January 22, 2016

I like to give a book, a piece of clothing, and a toy. For the toy, my go-to gifts are either this Green Toys sorting set or these Green Toys stacking cups.
posted by gatorae at 8:15 PM on January 22, 2016

Best answer: Registry is a great idea. Include the gift receipts.

Anything with a gift receipt from a store near them is good, honestly. I - gratefully - returned so many gifts to Babies R Us and Target. Some of them were even things I'd registered for but realized later weren't smart requests, and it was absolutely wonderful to have a lot of credit at those stores to buy the things I really did turn out to need.
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:45 PM on January 22, 2016

You know, someone got me Butt Paste and I thought the name and packaging was so funny but the stuff turned out to be worthless on my daughter's diaper rash compared to Triple Paste.

We often get a Miracle Blanket for new parents. Accept no substitutes! Our daughter could break out of every swaddle from the time she was about 8 hours old, except for this one.
posted by town of cats at 10:10 PM on January 22, 2016 [2 favorites]

I put loads of things on my registry that I never ended up using. My go to gifts for baby showers are: for people I know well, but wouldn't buy a huge gift: a book and special piece of clothing (a friend got the baby a puffy vest and fingerless gloves for my baby shower, I got his baby a two year old sized vintage jean jacket). For close friends who I want to go overboard- either bath stuff: soap, towels, washcloths, and all the accoutrement-finger nail clippers, comb and brush, nasal squeezy thing. Or, a baby food kit with a food mill, bibs, cookbooks, and utensils and dishes.
posted by momochan at 5:15 AM on January 23, 2016

If you don't have a baby yourself, don't bother with anything medicine cabinet related (there's too many options and every mom has their own preference). Yes to the Aden & Anais blankets, and yes to books. I love giving books as gifts.

I really like these two:

A moving child is a learning child

Mayo Clinic guide to your baby's first year

Oh or also this one, which I don't have but I looked through it at a friend's house.

American Academy of Pediatrics - Caring for your baby and young child
posted by CrazyLemonade at 7:06 AM on January 23, 2016

My go-to baby shower gift is some Lava bar soap, a set of nice kitchen tongs, and some heavy-duty gloves. Yes, it's a joke gift, but all of those things are also genuinely useful.
posted by themissy at 8:37 AM on January 23, 2016

Response by poster: Thank you for the reassurance and suggestions! I am going to give booties + picture book + small registry item. For close friends I will add an Aden + Anais swaddling blanket.

But, oh my gosh - overwhelmed with cute baby things. I knew I had to stop when I was considering buying a Lovey for myself.
posted by pintapicasso at 10:41 AM on January 23, 2016