Don't say Toastmasters
December 30, 2015 3:15 PM Subscribe
How can I get better at talking about technical subjects on the fly in high-pressure situations?
I work in a technical field. I am much more visual than auditory when it comes to processing information (as a child I did much more reading than speaking), so I find it difficult to handle questions that are thrown at me in meetings. (I do poorly in job interviews too.) Add to that the fact that I am nervous about doing well in front of superiors, ones that have already told me that I need to get better at communicating, and I turn into a stammering, convoluted mess. It's not just that I'm communicating poorly - I'm not thinking well either. I freeze up. I want to be quick thinking, relaxed, clear.
I don't know how to practice this.
I am just fine in social situations - I have no problem going to parties where I don't know any people, first dates, etc. (The only exception being high-stakes things like dates with someone I'm super into - then I turn into a mess.) In fact, I am more than fine - I can talk to most anyone, make friends easily and have been complimented on my humor and quick wit. Why can't I be that person in work meetings?
I went to a Toastmasters group once, and it just provided no challenge because the subject matter was not technical, and it felt more social, so I was completely relaxed. I did one of their impromptu speaking prompts during that section of the meeting, and people complimented me afterward. Not that there isn't room for improvement, but it just wasn't the same. It was a group of strangers, so what did I care? There were no consequences or stakes for me, and thus there was no anxiety. People have suggested improv, but I fear it may be the same.
I have taken as many presentation opportunities as are available to me at work, but those are different too because I practice and practice and know the narrow subject matter so well. I try to anticipate questions I might get during meetings, but I can't always predict it. I also spend too much time worrying about what people will ask me and practicing things in my head, and then I don't pay attention.
I try deflection when possible ("I will get back to you later on that.") but I can't do it all the time, especially if it's a planning where we're trying to decide something.
So how can I practice this particular skill?
Thanks.
I work in a technical field. I am much more visual than auditory when it comes to processing information (as a child I did much more reading than speaking), so I find it difficult to handle questions that are thrown at me in meetings. (I do poorly in job interviews too.) Add to that the fact that I am nervous about doing well in front of superiors, ones that have already told me that I need to get better at communicating, and I turn into a stammering, convoluted mess. It's not just that I'm communicating poorly - I'm not thinking well either. I freeze up. I want to be quick thinking, relaxed, clear.
I don't know how to practice this.
I am just fine in social situations - I have no problem going to parties where I don't know any people, first dates, etc. (The only exception being high-stakes things like dates with someone I'm super into - then I turn into a mess.) In fact, I am more than fine - I can talk to most anyone, make friends easily and have been complimented on my humor and quick wit. Why can't I be that person in work meetings?
I went to a Toastmasters group once, and it just provided no challenge because the subject matter was not technical, and it felt more social, so I was completely relaxed. I did one of their impromptu speaking prompts during that section of the meeting, and people complimented me afterward. Not that there isn't room for improvement, but it just wasn't the same. It was a group of strangers, so what did I care? There were no consequences or stakes for me, and thus there was no anxiety. People have suggested improv, but I fear it may be the same.
I have taken as many presentation opportunities as are available to me at work, but those are different too because I practice and practice and know the narrow subject matter so well. I try to anticipate questions I might get during meetings, but I can't always predict it. I also spend too much time worrying about what people will ask me and practicing things in my head, and then I don't pay attention.
I try deflection when possible ("I will get back to you later on that.") but I can't do it all the time, especially if it's a planning where we're trying to decide something.
So how can I practice this particular skill?
Thanks.
I am in these situations all the time as I sell IT systems as part of my job. One of the best salespeople I know does what you call "deflection" as a mainstay. It is not just deflection to her; it's a way to set healthy expectations. Sometimes when we work together she'll catch me as I start to dive into the details and say something like, "this guy will just dive in but your situation is so complex that we'll need [amount of time X] and [resources Y] in order to get the result for you." She's told me her theory here many times, i.e. "the client should not expect that we will furnish half-arsed conclusions upon demand."
So you might consider that it really is unreasonable for a client to expect you to come up with a well-thought-out answer directly, even if you are in a planning meeting.
You might also consider that anybody who expects you to plan with them on the fly in a technical field might be flat out unreasonable.
Beyond that, I do two things before I pitch to or communicate with demanding people: 1) I role play with my coach, and 2) I write out a few worst-case scenarios and my responses. In negotiation work it is common to write out e.g. a "GUAL" point (point at which you disqualify yourself, Get Up And Leave); this is pretty common.
The role playing seemed corny at first but has been really helpful. I can say, "really push me here" and it's like I'm there in person with the most difficult individual in the world. In a few minutes I can work out a bunch of different responses.
But I'd consider that you could be letting your need to demonstrate competence get in the way of a healthy working style, one wherein you leave your brain on social-norm level and just tell people when you need more time. In order to develop such a working style you may even need to write out phrases you can use to respond, like "I understand [current time pressures] but that question goes deep and it's important that we grasp the details. Let me take a day or two and do some work on it."
If you are familiar with Meyers-Briggs, INTJ personalities, many of whom are found in technical fields, often put competence on a high pedestal but also tend to fear they'll break down under demanding in-the-moment negotiations or pushy situations. Instead of learning to push back they instead try to put their competence into overdrive and become workaholics or apologetic, overworked droids. But pushing back is expected and normal.
posted by circular at 4:03 PM on December 30, 2015 [23 favorites]
So you might consider that it really is unreasonable for a client to expect you to come up with a well-thought-out answer directly, even if you are in a planning meeting.
You might also consider that anybody who expects you to plan with them on the fly in a technical field might be flat out unreasonable.
Beyond that, I do two things before I pitch to or communicate with demanding people: 1) I role play with my coach, and 2) I write out a few worst-case scenarios and my responses. In negotiation work it is common to write out e.g. a "GUAL" point (point at which you disqualify yourself, Get Up And Leave); this is pretty common.
The role playing seemed corny at first but has been really helpful. I can say, "really push me here" and it's like I'm there in person with the most difficult individual in the world. In a few minutes I can work out a bunch of different responses.
But I'd consider that you could be letting your need to demonstrate competence get in the way of a healthy working style, one wherein you leave your brain on social-norm level and just tell people when you need more time. In order to develop such a working style you may even need to write out phrases you can use to respond, like "I understand [current time pressures] but that question goes deep and it's important that we grasp the details. Let me take a day or two and do some work on it."
If you are familiar with Meyers-Briggs, INTJ personalities, many of whom are found in technical fields, often put competence on a high pedestal but also tend to fear they'll break down under demanding in-the-moment negotiations or pushy situations. Instead of learning to push back they instead try to put their competence into overdrive and become workaholics or apologetic, overworked droids. But pushing back is expected and normal.
posted by circular at 4:03 PM on December 30, 2015 [23 favorites]
Tagging onto erst's comment, if you're a woman, are there women-only technical events in your city? Groups like Women Who Code often take real pains to have a technical culture that is welcoming to various levels of expertise. Perhaps there's an equivalent for your geography and field?
posted by deludingmyself at 4:05 PM on December 30, 2015
posted by deludingmyself at 4:05 PM on December 30, 2015
I address technical bits with the Technician to the Executive level frequently. I do national and international conferences. I often get peppered with hard-ish ones by my peers.
actually practicing in front of user groups or whoever is great. but - practice what?
a) For me, considered, intentional, thoughtful silence: "forgive me, I need just a moment to gather my thoughts on that..."
And then, do it. It's uncomfortable as hell the first 100 times. Then it works.
b) public speaking is a dialog, not a broadcast. interact and be sure you are answering the right question at the right level. ask clarifying questions. solicit further discussion from the room.
c) "I don't have a clear response right now - I'd like to consider it further; my email/twitter/blog/whatev is on the program/syllabus."
posted by j_curiouser at 4:14 PM on December 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
actually practicing in front of user groups or whoever is great. but - practice what?
a) For me, considered, intentional, thoughtful silence: "forgive me, I need just a moment to gather my thoughts on that..."
And then, do it. It's uncomfortable as hell the first 100 times. Then it works.
b) public speaking is a dialog, not a broadcast. interact and be sure you are answering the right question at the right level. ask clarifying questions. solicit further discussion from the room.
c) "I don't have a clear response right now - I'd like to consider it further; my email/twitter/blog/whatev is on the program/syllabus."
posted by j_curiouser at 4:14 PM on December 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
It sounds like situational anxiety is part of the issue, then also maybe needing a bit of habituation. I have a fair lot of anxiety, from time to time, and if I had my druthers I would do most things via text where I can properly sort out my thoughts and take time to parse the other person's message. My suggestion is to look into Dale Carnegie courses.
I did about 4 weeks of Toastmasters and absolutely hated it (I thought the rules were ridiculous and capricious and not helpful for me, I also thought the forms we were required to speak in were unnatural and obnoxious) but I think back on (and use) skills from the eight week DC class on a daily basis. It's also a program that's generally not too difficult to get your employer to fund as professional development.
In the DC course (at least the one I took, the instructors are supposed to tailor them a certain amount) we practiced negotiation, disagreeing with people, interjecting politely, getting interrupted, explaining technical topics to non-expert audiences (as long as you manage to get a diverse enough group) and in general the work was to build skills for effective communication and widen our comfort zones in situations where we must speak.
Now, I'm not 100%. I still periodically think of trying to get my doc to hook up some propanalol for speaking events to quell the full-body shakes I can get going, but for the most part these days once I get up front and get rolling it's pretty OK -- DC was a turning point in that.
posted by Matt Oneiros at 4:19 PM on December 30, 2015
I did about 4 weeks of Toastmasters and absolutely hated it (I thought the rules were ridiculous and capricious and not helpful for me, I also thought the forms we were required to speak in were unnatural and obnoxious) but I think back on (and use) skills from the eight week DC class on a daily basis. It's also a program that's generally not too difficult to get your employer to fund as professional development.
In the DC course (at least the one I took, the instructors are supposed to tailor them a certain amount) we practiced negotiation, disagreeing with people, interjecting politely, getting interrupted, explaining technical topics to non-expert audiences (as long as you manage to get a diverse enough group) and in general the work was to build skills for effective communication and widen our comfort zones in situations where we must speak.
Now, I'm not 100%. I still periodically think of trying to get my doc to hook up some propanalol for speaking events to quell the full-body shakes I can get going, but for the most part these days once I get up front and get rolling it's pretty OK -- DC was a turning point in that.
posted by Matt Oneiros at 4:19 PM on December 30, 2015
Are there formal teaching opportunities you can explore?
That might give you the immediate questions and feedback, as well as the challenge of adapting to individual personalities.
I am not a teacher so maybe others can pipe in with a reality check...
posted by calgirl at 4:22 PM on December 30, 2015
That might give you the immediate questions and feedback, as well as the challenge of adapting to individual personalities.
I am not a teacher so maybe others can pipe in with a reality check...
posted by calgirl at 4:22 PM on December 30, 2015
...further...
prep is great. but you don't have esp. you never know what your leaders will ask. what you are after is A Facility With The Facts.
If I were to spontaneously ask, "tell me about where your hometown", you'd consider what you know, what you think I would find interesting or valuable, and frame it in a way that I could understand your message. Same with <technicalThing/>.
Not In Possession Of The Right Facts At The Right Time is a different problem - this is kind-of the prep angle you describe doing.
posted by j_curiouser at 4:23 PM on December 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
prep is great. but you don't have esp. you never know what your leaders will ask. what you are after is A Facility With The Facts.
If I were to spontaneously ask, "tell me about where your hometown", you'd consider what you know, what you think I would find interesting or valuable, and frame it in a way that I could understand your message. Same with <technicalThing/>.
Not In Possession Of The Right Facts At The Right Time is a different problem - this is kind-of the prep angle you describe doing.
posted by j_curiouser at 4:23 PM on December 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
I have found that the best way to prepare for high stakes/jittery moments is to actually practice for them. Like you, I move easily through a wide variety of social situations. Small talk isn't a problem because it's low stakes and largely predictable.
Things that have made a significant difference in my life:
1. Guided practice. My sister and I collaborate on this, but you can choose anyone you're close to. For example, whenever one of us has a job interview, the other one takes on the role of HR. Before an important job interview I had last summer, my sister researched the position and developed a list of relevant and challenging questions. During our mock phone interview, I was SO nervous. I completely botched several questions and sounded like a complete dumb ass. Here's the beautiful thing, though: I was able to try every single question again. Unlike real life, I got do-overs. During the actual interview, the questions felt like softballs. That initial rigorous preparation gave me confidence in my own knowledge base. (The best part: I got the job!)
2. Improv classes. On a whim, I did a ten sessions of improv classes at a local comedy club. Unlike simple public speaking, improv challenges your ability to speak extemporaneously in an intelligent way. It's less about being funny than it is about being comfortable in a huge variety of scenarios.
posted by WaspEnterprises at 4:31 PM on December 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
Things that have made a significant difference in my life:
1. Guided practice. My sister and I collaborate on this, but you can choose anyone you're close to. For example, whenever one of us has a job interview, the other one takes on the role of HR. Before an important job interview I had last summer, my sister researched the position and developed a list of relevant and challenging questions. During our mock phone interview, I was SO nervous. I completely botched several questions and sounded like a complete dumb ass. Here's the beautiful thing, though: I was able to try every single question again. Unlike real life, I got do-overs. During the actual interview, the questions felt like softballs. That initial rigorous preparation gave me confidence in my own knowledge base. (The best part: I got the job!)
2. Improv classes. On a whim, I did a ten sessions of improv classes at a local comedy club. Unlike simple public speaking, improv challenges your ability to speak extemporaneously in an intelligent way. It's less about being funny than it is about being comfortable in a huge variety of scenarios.
posted by WaspEnterprises at 4:31 PM on December 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
My best advice is to just do it as much as possible. You can practice, but it's not the same. Volunteer often to do it for real. I have a similar thing (I'm naturally soft-spoken, so it's hard to hear me unless I'm talking to you one-on-one), and it's been held against me in reviews, so now whenever there's a chance to give a presentation or lead a call, I ask if I can do it. I can stand in front of a mirror and speak from my chest or whatever, but it feels fake and I get bored. The real thing is the best. It takes time (I'm not where I could be yet), but it'll happen.
One trick that might help you is something I read in Esquire a few years ago. Tom Chiarella wrote an article about an experiment he tried for a few days where any time someone spoke to him, he would count to three before responding. Didn't matter what the question was, or even if there was a question. If he knew the answer, he'd just count to three. If he didn't, he'd organize his thoughts during that time.
One benefit for you is that he reported it made his interlocutors slightly uncomfortable. Since you're uncomfortable too, this levels the playing field.
posted by kevinbelt at 4:55 PM on December 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
One trick that might help you is something I read in Esquire a few years ago. Tom Chiarella wrote an article about an experiment he tried for a few days where any time someone spoke to him, he would count to three before responding. Didn't matter what the question was, or even if there was a question. If he knew the answer, he'd just count to three. If he didn't, he'd organize his thoughts during that time.
One benefit for you is that he reported it made his interlocutors slightly uncomfortable. Since you're uncomfortable too, this levels the playing field.
posted by kevinbelt at 4:55 PM on December 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
I find that with planning meetings there's the added pressure of making decisions for which you have inadequate information. This frequently takes anxiety about demonstrating competence to an overwhelming level. I don't know your technical subfield but in mine it's rare for a planning meeting to have no detail at all on what is being decided. You can usually have a chat with the people who are running the meeting beforehand to find out what they want to focus on and then take some time to think through what that means with respect to your responsibilities. And if not enough detail is provided, it's okay during the meeting to say you will get back to them.
I also suggest that you break down your goals a little bit. Aim to be clear before you aim to be relaxed, aim to be relaxed before you aim to be quick thinking. Speaking as a fellow sufferer of this sort of anxiety, I find it makes things worse if I expect myself to be perfect at all of these things at once.
To practice, I suggest you work on technical projects with people outside of work. It'll give you similar speaking opportunities (making decisions at planning meetings, explaining technical subjects on the fly, demonstrating your understanding in front of people whose respect you want) but without the added pressure of having it be your job.
posted by rhythm and booze at 5:08 PM on December 30, 2015
I also suggest that you break down your goals a little bit. Aim to be clear before you aim to be relaxed, aim to be relaxed before you aim to be quick thinking. Speaking as a fellow sufferer of this sort of anxiety, I find it makes things worse if I expect myself to be perfect at all of these things at once.
To practice, I suggest you work on technical projects with people outside of work. It'll give you similar speaking opportunities (making decisions at planning meetings, explaining technical subjects on the fly, demonstrating your understanding in front of people whose respect you want) but without the added pressure of having it be your job.
posted by rhythm and booze at 5:08 PM on December 30, 2015
If you're visually oriented, would it help to draw stuff? Maybe take a minute and sketch a flowchart or what-have-you on a pad of paper?
posted by yarntheory at 5:26 PM on December 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by yarntheory at 5:26 PM on December 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
In discussion situations where you can't completely deflect until later, get used to thinking about and methodically talking through the dependencies for a given decision. Keep in mind that it's in everyone's best interest, not just your team's interest, to defer decisions until later that have the potential to be damaging or rescinded if made in haste. It's your duty to resist the temptation to make an ill-considered off-the-cuff suggestion.
Also, specifically preparing for every meeting beforehand is a good idea—even if that just means going through the agenda and making sure you're up-to-date on everything included. Or if the meeting in question doesn't have an official agenda, work with your team or project manager to make one for internal use and prep. Make a discipline of doing this before every meeting and it'll be a lot easier to be on top of off-the-cuff questions, and if you have that kind of overview of the project in your head before a meeting, you'll also be better able to speculate or deflect. (It also makes it a lot easier to remember what the hell was discussed or decided!)
Additionally, even if someone else is taking official notes during a meeting and/or delegating action items afterward, take your own notes, so you have a space to make note of that small point you'd like to get back to, the more complex analysis you'd like to add to the discussion of Y thing, or that action item that just got put on your plate. Then you don't have to sit there rehearsing it. Use a notebook page or notes on your laptop as a visual scratchboard.
Finally, think about the purpose of having a meeting in the first place, as opposed to just chatting or emailing: Who is in the room right now who has answers to the things you'll be asked to work on next? Is there anything crucial you need to ask them now? Is there anything it wouldn't be politically savvy to ask now, but that the discussion reminds you to follow up on later? Are there any people who aren't in the room who you'll need to follow up with? Keep notes.
posted by limeonaire at 10:30 PM on December 30, 2015
• "I think X is a good idea, and we've definitely done it that way before, but I haven't been directly involved in the implementation, so I'd like to check with Joe first before moving ahead with it. Is that OK? Is there a specific date you need to know for sure? What's our target date for fully integrating this feature?"After a while, you start to get used to certain speech patterns that can help you guide the flow of ideas and what gets noted for later, discussed further, or tabled. This is separate from your actual body of technical expertise—just knowing how to route technical discussions and follow-ups is a skill set in and of itself. And you can also demonstrate technical expertise of a given feature or tool just as well by talking through the underpinnings of a specific request.
• "I'm not entirely sure if that will work as we've discussed, and I'll need to look into it further after this call. A couple of things to keep in mind are A and B, though—our answer will definitely depend on the answers there. Let's put down some action items to have so-and-so follow up on A, and can your team let us know more about these specific aspects of B by next week? Then we'll be able to give you a better answer."
• "Just thinking ahead, if there's any issue with Z thing, does your team have any preferences for other ways to move forward? I know we've also used D and F for this before, so those could be good options, though we'll want to check with Jan before we confirm for sure."
• "We definitely want to make sure we stay on schedule and have this solution in place by January 8. What's the status of [thing that's on the other team's plate]? Our team will have more for you on C thing by Thursday, so you'll have time to review it. And once we have [other team's item], we can review that and let you know more details regarding timeline and next steps."
Also, specifically preparing for every meeting beforehand is a good idea—even if that just means going through the agenda and making sure you're up-to-date on everything included. Or if the meeting in question doesn't have an official agenda, work with your team or project manager to make one for internal use and prep. Make a discipline of doing this before every meeting and it'll be a lot easier to be on top of off-the-cuff questions, and if you have that kind of overview of the project in your head before a meeting, you'll also be better able to speculate or deflect. (It also makes it a lot easier to remember what the hell was discussed or decided!)
Additionally, even if someone else is taking official notes during a meeting and/or delegating action items afterward, take your own notes, so you have a space to make note of that small point you'd like to get back to, the more complex analysis you'd like to add to the discussion of Y thing, or that action item that just got put on your plate. Then you don't have to sit there rehearsing it. Use a notebook page or notes on your laptop as a visual scratchboard.
Finally, think about the purpose of having a meeting in the first place, as opposed to just chatting or emailing: Who is in the room right now who has answers to the things you'll be asked to work on next? Is there anything crucial you need to ask them now? Is there anything it wouldn't be politically savvy to ask now, but that the discussion reminds you to follow up on later? Are there any people who aren't in the room who you'll need to follow up with? Keep notes.
posted by limeonaire at 10:30 PM on December 30, 2015
1. Talk to yourself before important meetings. Practice responding to uncomfortable questions that might be asked. Sure, you're not going to pre-epmt all of them, but you'll get some of them down. Practice practice practice...
2. You're visual. If I have access to a whiteboard, I draw what I'm saying. That helps me to articulate my thoughts, but also gives a focus for other meeting participants, and a way forthem to interact. It also makes it easier to turn it into a discussion rather than a presentation. I love the whiteboard. I have to do a lot of teleconferences, but always make the first meeting a face-to-face one so that I can do the whiteboard scrawling thing. It works for me.
3. Get comfortable saying "that's a good question. I don't have the answer to that right now. But I will find out and get back to you." in a confident tone of voice. And then follow through on that. Don't be apologetic. Acknowledging what you don't know gives you credibility if you present it confidently.
posted by finding.perdita at 2:25 AM on December 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
2. You're visual. If I have access to a whiteboard, I draw what I'm saying. That helps me to articulate my thoughts, but also gives a focus for other meeting participants, and a way forthem to interact. It also makes it easier to turn it into a discussion rather than a presentation. I love the whiteboard. I have to do a lot of teleconferences, but always make the first meeting a face-to-face one so that I can do the whiteboard scrawling thing. It works for me.
3. Get comfortable saying "that's a good question. I don't have the answer to that right now. But I will find out and get back to you." in a confident tone of voice. And then follow through on that. Don't be apologetic. Acknowledging what you don't know gives you credibility if you present it confidently.
posted by finding.perdita at 2:25 AM on December 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
Journalist and politician here. Join a debate club.
posted by Mistress at 2:34 AM on December 31, 2015
posted by Mistress at 2:34 AM on December 31, 2015
Saying "I don't know the answer to that - but let me consider and then get back to you" - far from being a sign of weakness - is a reliable marker when it comes to distinguishing trustworthy experts from field of bluffers.
To make this strategy work for you, try the following:
1. Tell people, from the outset, that you will try to answer all questions straight away - but that it is common for you to choose to park some.
2. Add any questions you can't answer to a whiteboard parking list. Make sure that you and your audience are agreed on the wording of these questions. If you like to work visually then you could also summarize any queries with a diagram.
3. Try to give people an estimate of when you will be able to respond: perhaps "after the coffee break", perhaps "after a month long feasibility study". Again - try to make sure everybody is agreed on these time scales.
4. Keep the "park list" visible somewhere publicly - and keep your word about getting back with a response.
For some audiences only, it is even more impressive to be willing to improvise your way to an answer. To do this:
1. Warn them that this is an improvised process and that it might not work.
2. Summarize the problem in clear written form - maybe with a diagram.
3. Break the problem down and talk through your thought process. Be prepared to sketch. Don't be afraid of blind allies. Ask the audience to help you by checking your assumptions; treat this as a team exercise rather than a demonstration.
If you don't come up with a solution, you will normally have still been able to show how you would break down the problem space. If you do come up with the solution then remember to offer credit to all those who helped you. And acknowledge your luck!
posted by rongorongo at 2:36 AM on December 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
To make this strategy work for you, try the following:
1. Tell people, from the outset, that you will try to answer all questions straight away - but that it is common for you to choose to park some.
2. Add any questions you can't answer to a whiteboard parking list. Make sure that you and your audience are agreed on the wording of these questions. If you like to work visually then you could also summarize any queries with a diagram.
3. Try to give people an estimate of when you will be able to respond: perhaps "after the coffee break", perhaps "after a month long feasibility study". Again - try to make sure everybody is agreed on these time scales.
4. Keep the "park list" visible somewhere publicly - and keep your word about getting back with a response.
For some audiences only, it is even more impressive to be willing to improvise your way to an answer. To do this:
1. Warn them that this is an improvised process and that it might not work.
2. Summarize the problem in clear written form - maybe with a diagram.
3. Break the problem down and talk through your thought process. Be prepared to sketch. Don't be afraid of blind allies. Ask the audience to help you by checking your assumptions; treat this as a team exercise rather than a demonstration.
If you don't come up with a solution, you will normally have still been able to show how you would break down the problem space. If you do come up with the solution then remember to offer credit to all those who helped you. And acknowledge your luck!
posted by rongorongo at 2:36 AM on December 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
I've noticed that in situations when I'm anxious to come across as clever or intelligent, when I have to explain something, I tend to really want to have a perfect encyclopedic verbal answer to the question. It's like I feel that the normal state of affairs is that everything I said before should have been very clear, and if a question comes up, the "correct" way is to answer with total lucid verbality. So anything that violates these expectations creates anxiety—which isn't helpful.
I'm not sure this makes sense to you, because I'm trying to illustrate a habitual attitude that's a little hard to explain, so I hope you recognize some of it.
But what I've noticed can be an antidote is to really internalize and accept the fact that explanations aren't trivial or straightforward, especially with a varied audience: it's a classic deep problem of rhetoric and writing, how to create an accurate picture in someone else's head. If I'm comfortable with that, then it's no surprise that somebody would have a question. It encourages me to explain things in a few different ways, and to use some gestures and stuff (you're visual and lots of people are, so what's intuitive to you may help them too), and to ask little counterquestions like "does that make sense?" or "ok, are you familiar with X?"
When I feel like this approach really clicks, then it's like I get a connection with the audience that's based in a mutual understanding that I am really trying to explain something and it may or may not get across perfectly but there's almost like a spirit of cooperation. Sometimes in meetings it's led to people helping me out with other ways of explaining. It goes along with another general thing I like to do in meetings which is to defuse the tension of individual prestige and try to create a situation that's less like everyone trying to be impressive and cool and straight-faced, and more like a group of friends trying to accomplish something. Of course the extent to which this is possible depends on the nature of your organization, but I see it as very valuable so I try to encourage it.
One obvious way of doing it that might be appropriate sometimes is to just ask someone else if they can try to explain briefly if you think they could do it, like "hey Jane, you explained this pretty nicely last week, could you help me out for a second?" or something (if you think Jane wouldn't mind) (obviously you can't do this all the time).
Put more simply, loosen your tie and chill out (for the purposes of this answer I'm assuming your anxiety levels are at least mostly under control) and start simple when you explain stuff. If you have to circle around the subject a little bit until people are on board, that's fine. If it helps you can make up a story like "okay this cup right here is the SQL server and these pencil are left inner join queries..."
posted by mbrock at 3:14 AM on December 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
I'm not sure this makes sense to you, because I'm trying to illustrate a habitual attitude that's a little hard to explain, so I hope you recognize some of it.
But what I've noticed can be an antidote is to really internalize and accept the fact that explanations aren't trivial or straightforward, especially with a varied audience: it's a classic deep problem of rhetoric and writing, how to create an accurate picture in someone else's head. If I'm comfortable with that, then it's no surprise that somebody would have a question. It encourages me to explain things in a few different ways, and to use some gestures and stuff (you're visual and lots of people are, so what's intuitive to you may help them too), and to ask little counterquestions like "does that make sense?" or "ok, are you familiar with X?"
When I feel like this approach really clicks, then it's like I get a connection with the audience that's based in a mutual understanding that I am really trying to explain something and it may or may not get across perfectly but there's almost like a spirit of cooperation. Sometimes in meetings it's led to people helping me out with other ways of explaining. It goes along with another general thing I like to do in meetings which is to defuse the tension of individual prestige and try to create a situation that's less like everyone trying to be impressive and cool and straight-faced, and more like a group of friends trying to accomplish something. Of course the extent to which this is possible depends on the nature of your organization, but I see it as very valuable so I try to encourage it.
One obvious way of doing it that might be appropriate sometimes is to just ask someone else if they can try to explain briefly if you think they could do it, like "hey Jane, you explained this pretty nicely last week, could you help me out for a second?" or something (if you think Jane wouldn't mind) (obviously you can't do this all the time).
Put more simply, loosen your tie and chill out (for the purposes of this answer I'm assuming your anxiety levels are at least mostly under control) and start simple when you explain stuff. If you have to circle around the subject a little bit until people are on board, that's fine. If it helps you can make up a story like "okay this cup right here is the SQL server and these pencil are left inner join queries..."
posted by mbrock at 3:14 AM on December 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
Since, much like a scientist, you are focusing on technical concepts the public may not be familiar with you may want to check some of the resources on science communication. Alan Alda (yep, the actor) runs a program educating scientists on how to present their work to the public in engaging ways. This includes everything from how to give a presentation or an interview to how to give an elevator pitch.
Doing a bit of YouTube surfing on this might turn up some good stuff as he is very highly regarded for this work in the scientific community.
posted by forkisbetter at 4:44 AM on December 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
Doing a bit of YouTube surfing on this might turn up some good stuff as he is very highly regarded for this work in the scientific community.
posted by forkisbetter at 4:44 AM on December 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
...it is even more impressive to be willing to improvise your way to an answer. To do this...Warn them that this is an improvised process and that it might not work... talk through your thought process
this is quite good.
posted by j_curiouser at 8:35 AM on December 31, 2015
this is quite good.
posted by j_curiouser at 8:35 AM on December 31, 2015
I would suggest reading the Charisma Myth, which has a lot of stuff about pausing and being generally aware of how you're interacting with other people and various exercises around this); and Quiet, which doesn't have as many exercises but has a conceptual framework you might find useful for your personal style.
I also think you might want to treat this as more specifically an anxiety thing and not a public speaking skills thing, and spend some time looking into meditation/thought exercises for dealing with rising anxiety (maybe stuff around dealing with panic attacks would be useful, say).
posted by inkyz at 10:58 AM on December 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
I also think you might want to treat this as more specifically an anxiety thing and not a public speaking skills thing, and spend some time looking into meditation/thought exercises for dealing with rising anxiety (maybe stuff around dealing with panic attacks would be useful, say).
posted by inkyz at 10:58 AM on December 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by erst at 3:51 PM on December 30, 2015