Should I fight the urge to purge (my stuff) while pregnant?
December 7, 2015 10:08 AM Subscribe
I always feel like I can get rid of more of my stuff, specifically clothes, and since our household will need to accommodate another person about six months from now, I feel like this is a good time to aggressively weed things out. At the same time, I would like to not buy a new wardrobe and continue wearing clothes like a decent person. How should I proceed?
Before I got pregnant, I felt like I had too many clothes. My husband and I moved this year and while I think that would have been a great time to toss a lot of things, we didn't because we moved into a bigger place. But I also worried that if I did a big clothing purge, I would be left with very few things to wear. I could be really aggressive about getting rid of stuff but I worry that I'll be kicking myself months from now when I think that I really could have used that shirt that I rarely wore but looked nice with this one suit.
Now that I'm approaching the end of my first trimester, I still feel like I have a lot of clothes, or that I'm trying to fit too many clothes into too little space, but I also feel like I need to get more clothes to accommodate my changing body. Part of me feels like looking at my current wardrobe and asking myself, how will you feel months from now when you might be able to fit into non-maternity clothes again and have this [ratty t-shirt/sweater you only kind of liked in the first place/etc.] to wear. But I still worry that I could get too carried away with the purging. I anticipate that having an infant and a post-partum body will be stressful so also not having clothes to wear sounds even more stressful.
I read about the KonMari method but the thing is, my clothes are mostly for utility purposes. I don't love the suits I have for work, it's really rare that I love a suit, I wear them because I feel like that's what I should wear sometimes. Ditto a lot of my athletic apparel - I love some items like my Lululemon shorts but I'm less enthusiastic about my Old Navy tank tops - yet they do the trick when I'm working out. I've read those who suggested (understandably) getting rid of things that are looking worn out but at the same time, I wear a lot of t-shirts under sweaters, especially during this time of year, so who cares if they look crappy.
Sometimes I do try to replace things in a thoughtful way. I bought a nicer navy suit to upgrade a previous suit made with a crappy material. But I feel inclined to minimize how much I spend on clothes these days so I was planning to put efforts to upgrade on hold.
I also place a high value when shopping on items that don't need dry cleaning which limits the items I buy that I really love but at the same time, then I don't spend time or money on dry cleaning (I wear suits and jackets that need dry cleaning but that's about it). I feel like I buy a lot of sweaters and such that are okay not great so then I don't have to take them to to cleaners but now that I'm taking them out of storage, I'm looking at them and thinking, I don't even really like these things.
Maybe I just care a lot less about clothes than I did before? I usually like clothes. I have some clothes that I really like. I always think that it would be so nice to have fewer clothes but items I really like. But I'm also lazy and not the best at taking care of things so it's helpful to have lots of clothes. If I had things I liked better, would I take better care of them? It's kind of a moot point though because I feel like I can only get rid of crappy clothes now and have to put getting clothes I really like on hold (since I think that if I got nice clothes today, they won't fit a few weeks from now).
I'm not trying to make excuses so if that's how this sounds, please tell me (gently!). I have been more or less living out of laundry baskets lately since I feel limited to certain clothes that feel comfortable right now, so I've been tempted to aggressively go through the clothes that are not in the laundry baskets (and therefore items that I have not worn recently). But of course, a lot of those items are warmer-weather clothes. That I didn't wear when it was warm out. Argh.
If you have cleaned out your closet aggressively, did you regret it or miss any clothing items? I have gotten rid of things that I later felt compelled to replace so I'd like to avoid that. What do you do with items that you don't particularly love yet wear frequently? I can upgrade my ratty t-shirts that I wear under sweaters but they're going to get a lot of wear and will eventually be pretty ratty. How do I plan ahead (or do I plan ahead) for clothing post-partum? Do I just roll with it?
I feel a little silly asking this question so thank you in advance for being kind and for humoring me.
Before I got pregnant, I felt like I had too many clothes. My husband and I moved this year and while I think that would have been a great time to toss a lot of things, we didn't because we moved into a bigger place. But I also worried that if I did a big clothing purge, I would be left with very few things to wear. I could be really aggressive about getting rid of stuff but I worry that I'll be kicking myself months from now when I think that I really could have used that shirt that I rarely wore but looked nice with this one suit.
Now that I'm approaching the end of my first trimester, I still feel like I have a lot of clothes, or that I'm trying to fit too many clothes into too little space, but I also feel like I need to get more clothes to accommodate my changing body. Part of me feels like looking at my current wardrobe and asking myself, how will you feel months from now when you might be able to fit into non-maternity clothes again and have this [ratty t-shirt/sweater you only kind of liked in the first place/etc.] to wear. But I still worry that I could get too carried away with the purging. I anticipate that having an infant and a post-partum body will be stressful so also not having clothes to wear sounds even more stressful.
I read about the KonMari method but the thing is, my clothes are mostly for utility purposes. I don't love the suits I have for work, it's really rare that I love a suit, I wear them because I feel like that's what I should wear sometimes. Ditto a lot of my athletic apparel - I love some items like my Lululemon shorts but I'm less enthusiastic about my Old Navy tank tops - yet they do the trick when I'm working out. I've read those who suggested (understandably) getting rid of things that are looking worn out but at the same time, I wear a lot of t-shirts under sweaters, especially during this time of year, so who cares if they look crappy.
Sometimes I do try to replace things in a thoughtful way. I bought a nicer navy suit to upgrade a previous suit made with a crappy material. But I feel inclined to minimize how much I spend on clothes these days so I was planning to put efforts to upgrade on hold.
I also place a high value when shopping on items that don't need dry cleaning which limits the items I buy that I really love but at the same time, then I don't spend time or money on dry cleaning (I wear suits and jackets that need dry cleaning but that's about it). I feel like I buy a lot of sweaters and such that are okay not great so then I don't have to take them to to cleaners but now that I'm taking them out of storage, I'm looking at them and thinking, I don't even really like these things.
Maybe I just care a lot less about clothes than I did before? I usually like clothes. I have some clothes that I really like. I always think that it would be so nice to have fewer clothes but items I really like. But I'm also lazy and not the best at taking care of things so it's helpful to have lots of clothes. If I had things I liked better, would I take better care of them? It's kind of a moot point though because I feel like I can only get rid of crappy clothes now and have to put getting clothes I really like on hold (since I think that if I got nice clothes today, they won't fit a few weeks from now).
I'm not trying to make excuses so if that's how this sounds, please tell me (gently!). I have been more or less living out of laundry baskets lately since I feel limited to certain clothes that feel comfortable right now, so I've been tempted to aggressively go through the clothes that are not in the laundry baskets (and therefore items that I have not worn recently). But of course, a lot of those items are warmer-weather clothes. That I didn't wear when it was warm out. Argh.
If you have cleaned out your closet aggressively, did you regret it or miss any clothing items? I have gotten rid of things that I later felt compelled to replace so I'd like to avoid that. What do you do with items that you don't particularly love yet wear frequently? I can upgrade my ratty t-shirts that I wear under sweaters but they're going to get a lot of wear and will eventually be pretty ratty. How do I plan ahead (or do I plan ahead) for clothing post-partum? Do I just roll with it?
I feel a little silly asking this question so thank you in advance for being kind and for humoring me.
Why not "purge" by putting all the stuff you don't want into a tupperware container and if after a year you didn't need to get anything out from it, THEN donate/goodwill it?
Another strategy that does not work for me because my closet is too full is to turn the hanger around when you wear something and after a period of time, get rid of all the stuff that wasn't turned around.
posted by k8t at 10:21 AM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Another strategy that does not work for me because my closet is too full is to turn the hanger around when you wear something and after a period of time, get rid of all the stuff that wasn't turned around.
posted by k8t at 10:21 AM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Buy a popup wardrobe (sometimes called portable closets, they're plastic construction with an all-around canvas zip), fill it with all the clothes you feel like purging, and shove it somewhere out of sight in your new, larger home. (Like: garage or attic if you're in a house.) "Purge" to your heart's content and hide it away.
However many months from now if you're feeling stifled by your lack of clothing options, go hit up your secret stash. They'll be right there waiting for you.
p.s. Definitely go the wardrobe route and do NOT fold them up in a box somewhere. Things that get sealed in boxes tend to languish and be forgotten about; it's harder to pull out one item at a time or browse the contents and they will smell like box. No bueno.
posted by phunniemee at 10:24 AM on December 7, 2015
However many months from now if you're feeling stifled by your lack of clothing options, go hit up your secret stash. They'll be right there waiting for you.
p.s. Definitely go the wardrobe route and do NOT fold them up in a box somewhere. Things that get sealed in boxes tend to languish and be forgotten about; it's harder to pull out one item at a time or browse the contents and they will smell like box. No bueno.
posted by phunniemee at 10:24 AM on December 7, 2015
You can't really plan ahead for clothing post-partum because you don't know what your body will do. I bought a bunch of big plastic tubs and packed away my "regular" clothes based on a) size; b) how much I liked them and was likely to wear them again; and c) category (summer/winter/work/etc.). So when I did eventually get back to my pre-pregnancy size, I was able to pull out a bin of appropriatedly sized casual clothes that I actually liked. When I went through most of the bins, I was like, "Haha, this is terrible, I should have gotten rid of this stuff YEARS ago!"
Put all the bins in the basement or the attic or the garage (i.e., long term storage); minimize your clothes down to things you are currently wearing, that fit in your closet/dresser space -- which, you will not want to spend a ton of money on maternity clothes, and everyone understands why you wear the same two dresses twice a week each to work (and why by month 9 all your maternity stuff starts to look pretty ratty).
IMMEDIATELY post-partum you will probably be wearing maternity clothes (and a few nursing things, and a few things you grab to hold you over during the rapid body shape change). When the body change slows down, you'll know if you need to buy some new post-partum clothes or if you can pull out a bin or two of stuff you like. Which, when you do, you'll probably be like, "Oh, half of this I don't like as much as I thought I did." And you will have gotten used to wearing far less variety (during the maternity clothes phase) AND to having enough free space in your closet and dresser to put your clothes away properly. So I bet you'll have a lot less ambivalence about getting rid of stuff.
Project 333 is a method of building small capsule wardrobes where you don't get rid of anything; you put it all away and take out only 33 pieces per 3-month season, and only purge after trying a few seasons with the smaller wardrobe and deciding how you like it. Haven't tried it myself but a lot of people like it.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:24 AM on December 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
Put all the bins in the basement or the attic or the garage (i.e., long term storage); minimize your clothes down to things you are currently wearing, that fit in your closet/dresser space -- which, you will not want to spend a ton of money on maternity clothes, and everyone understands why you wear the same two dresses twice a week each to work (and why by month 9 all your maternity stuff starts to look pretty ratty).
IMMEDIATELY post-partum you will probably be wearing maternity clothes (and a few nursing things, and a few things you grab to hold you over during the rapid body shape change). When the body change slows down, you'll know if you need to buy some new post-partum clothes or if you can pull out a bin or two of stuff you like. Which, when you do, you'll probably be like, "Oh, half of this I don't like as much as I thought I did." And you will have gotten used to wearing far less variety (during the maternity clothes phase) AND to having enough free space in your closet and dresser to put your clothes away properly. So I bet you'll have a lot less ambivalence about getting rid of stuff.
Project 333 is a method of building small capsule wardrobes where you don't get rid of anything; you put it all away and take out only 33 pieces per 3-month season, and only purge after trying a few seasons with the smaller wardrobe and deciding how you like it. Haven't tried it myself but a lot of people like it.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:24 AM on December 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
The first rule of closet cleaning is to not keep stuff that you might fit into "someday." Another way of saying this is only keep the things you wear and love right now. Typically this advice is for people trying to lose weight, but it can also apply to you, being likely to gain weight.
KonMarie's advice is good. I also like these two blogs on the concept of a capsule wardrobe: Un-Fancy and Into Mind.
I am going through this right now too because three weeks ago I moved to a new country and put all my suff in storage. You can do as k8t suggests and "store" the items in the garage or under your bed or whatever. Also, beware the sunken cost fallacy.
But life is too short to wear clothes you don't like only because they fit you or they happened to be on sale or whatever.
posted by Brittanie at 10:27 AM on December 7, 2015
KonMarie's advice is good. I also like these two blogs on the concept of a capsule wardrobe: Un-Fancy and Into Mind.
I am going through this right now too because three weeks ago I moved to a new country and put all my suff in storage. You can do as k8t suggests and "store" the items in the garage or under your bed or whatever. Also, beware the sunken cost fallacy.
But life is too short to wear clothes you don't like only because they fit you or they happened to be on sale or whatever.
posted by Brittanie at 10:27 AM on December 7, 2015
When I was pregnant, my mum offered to house a bunch of my older clothes. She took three full suitcases home with her. That was back in March. Do you know, I cannot recall a single item of clothing she took! I'm going to ask her to take the lot to the charity shop tomorrow. It was definitely the right time to do it for me.
posted by threetwentytwo at 10:27 AM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by threetwentytwo at 10:27 AM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
I think there is a certain fashion (I guess I'd call it) for minimalist living and purging one's belongings that seems like quite a luxury to me. The luxury to have the time and money to replace dingy undershirts, and the luxury of a professional life where one can wear whatever one wants, etc, etc. That's not to say that living a little more minimally isn't a good thing, but sometimes I think the pressure to purge can be just as burdensome as having too much, especially where the decisions about what to keep are so complicated. Give yourself permission to not be as minimal as you think you should.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:27 AM on December 7, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 10:27 AM on December 7, 2015 [8 favorites]
I agree to some extent with Rock Steady and forgot to mention in my first comment that in times of great change in my life, the urge to "nest" is always SUPER high. So maybe this is just a nesting thing with you?
posted by Brittanie at 10:29 AM on December 7, 2015
posted by Brittanie at 10:29 AM on December 7, 2015
kat518: "But I'm also lazy and not the best at taking care of things so it's helpful to have lots of clothes. If I had things I liked better, would I take better care of them? "
Probably? But also, clothes wear out whether or not you wear them, and they wear faster if they're all shoved in a closet or drawer with no room to be stored properly. It's terrible for the fibers. Living out of laundry bins is terrible for the fibers. All your nice stuff is getting junky a lot faster because you have too much of it to store and take care of it properly.
My husband is of your mind, but FINALLY after YEARS of nagging he went through this past summer and purged his closet and dresser until he was down to just the stuff that actually fit neatly in his closet and dresser. He has WAY LESS laundry, it doesn't pile up and then sit there for a month and then require five loads to get through it all, and he can put it away in an hour instead of it taking days and being unpleasant because there's nowhere for anything to go. Now everything he owns is nice (except for, like, his yardwork sweatshirt sort of things that are grubby for grubby chores), he can always find it, and nothing sits for weeks in a dirty laundry basket with dirt working its way into the fibers and breaking them down, or for weeks in a clean laundry basket getting wrinkled and folded in ways that snap the fibers and break them down, or shoved into a closet, unworn for months, stuffed up against its buddies getting musty and having the fibers rub against all the other packed-too-close shirts, breaking down.
If you are a lazy clothing person, you will probably be much happier, and have a nicer wardrobe, with LESS STUFF to take care of, because the more jammed in your clothing is, the faster it's wearing out, even when you're not wearing it. It's a very false economy (of time or money) to own lots of clothes.
But yeah, keep in mind that those fibers are sitting there decaying whether you wear them or not. Not wearing things doesn't keep them nicer all that much longer, and if your clothes are stored improperly, they're wearing faster.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:34 AM on December 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
Probably? But also, clothes wear out whether or not you wear them, and they wear faster if they're all shoved in a closet or drawer with no room to be stored properly. It's terrible for the fibers. Living out of laundry bins is terrible for the fibers. All your nice stuff is getting junky a lot faster because you have too much of it to store and take care of it properly.
My husband is of your mind, but FINALLY after YEARS of nagging he went through this past summer and purged his closet and dresser until he was down to just the stuff that actually fit neatly in his closet and dresser. He has WAY LESS laundry, it doesn't pile up and then sit there for a month and then require five loads to get through it all, and he can put it away in an hour instead of it taking days and being unpleasant because there's nowhere for anything to go. Now everything he owns is nice (except for, like, his yardwork sweatshirt sort of things that are grubby for grubby chores), he can always find it, and nothing sits for weeks in a dirty laundry basket with dirt working its way into the fibers and breaking them down, or for weeks in a clean laundry basket getting wrinkled and folded in ways that snap the fibers and break them down, or shoved into a closet, unworn for months, stuffed up against its buddies getting musty and having the fibers rub against all the other packed-too-close shirts, breaking down.
If you are a lazy clothing person, you will probably be much happier, and have a nicer wardrobe, with LESS STUFF to take care of, because the more jammed in your clothing is, the faster it's wearing out, even when you're not wearing it. It's a very false economy (of time or money) to own lots of clothes.
But yeah, keep in mind that those fibers are sitting there decaying whether you wear them or not. Not wearing things doesn't keep them nicer all that much longer, and if your clothes are stored improperly, they're wearing faster.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:34 AM on December 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
Its a nesting thing. I purged everything that wasn't nailed down when I was pregnant. That's about the time I got into the One Year rule. If it wasn't worn in the last year (minus seasonal stuff, ski stuff, swim stuff) off it went to the thrift shops. Its a good time now to get into a routine and system so when Baby Kat518 comes along you'll have a way to keep up with their constantly changing wardrobe
posted by PJMoore at 11:09 AM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by PJMoore at 11:09 AM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
What I have done in these situations is to pack everything up in storage boxes or even garbage bags and stick them away out of sight. Then a year or so later, anything I haven't gone looking for goes straight to being donated. I have sometimes gone back to storage to retrieve an item that I thought I would not wear again but turned out to be important (for example, I stored a bunch of pajama shorts during a particularly cold clean-out session when I couldn't envision wearing shorts and so thought I had way too many, but come summer I wanted them ALL back so I could avoid doing laundry and still wear comfy shorts to bed). Other things I basically forgot existed and never cared about, and so those went off to Goodwill, etc.
posted by rainbowbrite at 11:21 AM on December 7, 2015
posted by rainbowbrite at 11:21 AM on December 7, 2015
My answer depends on your means and your time.
My first response is any purging you can do pre-baby is awesome, because time spent Dealing With Things shifts so much with kids -- you are continually sorting out their clothes, keeping the house baby-friendly, stumbling around at night. We got rid of a whack of things I don't miss at all.
For clothes in particular...My body shape really changed post-partum and even when clothes fit they looked awful. So I got new ones, many of them used. But I was on a Canadian mat leave so I had time to shop, and I was okay if not great money-wise. If neither of those describes your situation, it's probably worth keeping them in bins.
Congrats!
posted by warriorqueen at 11:31 AM on December 7, 2015
My first response is any purging you can do pre-baby is awesome, because time spent Dealing With Things shifts so much with kids -- you are continually sorting out their clothes, keeping the house baby-friendly, stumbling around at night. We got rid of a whack of things I don't miss at all.
For clothes in particular...My body shape really changed post-partum and even when clothes fit they looked awful. So I got new ones, many of them used. But I was on a Canadian mat leave so I had time to shop, and I was okay if not great money-wise. If neither of those describes your situation, it's probably worth keeping them in bins.
Congrats!
posted by warriorqueen at 11:31 AM on December 7, 2015
I'm pregnant right now so I don't have the longer term perspective yet, but I'm pretty happy with what I've done with clothing so far. I went through all of my clothing around the end of the first trimester when some clothing stopped fitting, and divided it into three categories. One - items that currently fit, I like, and I wear - those stay in the closet. Two - items that don't currently fit (but fit just fine pre-pregnancy), that I like, that I actually wore - those went in a box to reevaluate a few months postpartum. Three - items that did not fit pre-pregnancy, items that I don't actually like, and items that I never actually wore went to Goodwill. I had a bunch of inexpensive shirts from Forever21, Target, etc that I did sometimes wear but didn't actually like, and they went to Goodwill too - I had/have enough clothing that there's no reason to hold on to a $5 tank top I dislike just because it technically fits. I admit that I kept just a few favorite items that don't fit, but they went in a separate bag to store for now.
As I continue to grow out of my clothing (nearing the end of the second trimester now), I put aside the non-fitting items with the category two items to reevaluate later. That way, everything in my closet fits me - it's really nice not to have items that I wouldn't wear anyway making my closet/dresser more cluttered. If nothing else, I highly recommend that you take anything that doesn't currently fit you and put it aside for the moment.
posted by insectosaurus at 11:34 AM on December 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
As I continue to grow out of my clothing (nearing the end of the second trimester now), I put aside the non-fitting items with the category two items to reevaluate later. That way, everything in my closet fits me - it's really nice not to have items that I wouldn't wear anyway making my closet/dresser more cluttered. If nothing else, I highly recommend that you take anything that doesn't currently fit you and put it aside for the moment.
posted by insectosaurus at 11:34 AM on December 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
In my opinion, the answer to "should I do [huge organizational/decluttering project] before the baby comes?" is always YES. You're not only making room for all of the baby's crap, but this is the last time for a while that you'll have this much time and energy to do stuff for yourself. And, make no mistake, cleaning out your closet is doing something nice for yourself.
With the baby and all of its bodily leakings, you're already going to be doing laundry on a regular basis in the future - your be-spit-upped shirts as well as the baby's clothes. The fewer clothes you have, the less daunting laundry will be, and the less time your dirty clothes will spend in a heap, smelling sour and grody and bringing you down.
Will you miss stuff? Maybe. I sometimes miss clothes I no longer have, but the things I miss are almost always things that I wear often enough to wear out. If you love it, you wear it. If you don't wear it, you don't miss it. Wardrobes are impermanent and ever-changing anyway, as much as we like to talk about "classics" and "investment pieces." In ten years, nearly all the stuff in your closet will be gone or replaced anyway.
Specific closet-cleaning advice with maternity/postpartum/babywrangling in mind: keep the Lululemon-type stuff because that stuff stretches and because you can send it through the laundry a zillion times. Anything fitted with little or no stretch will probably not accommodate you for much longer, and when/whether it'll fit you again postpartum is anyone's guess. This is not to say you should get rid of all your tailored pants, but if you're on the fence about certain garments with a not-so-forgiving fit, this might help you make the decision. If you plan on breastfeeding or pumping, clothes that don't accommodate those tasks will probably not get much use in the next year or two (goodbye, high-necked dresses).
posted by Metroid Baby at 11:53 AM on December 7, 2015
With the baby and all of its bodily leakings, you're already going to be doing laundry on a regular basis in the future - your be-spit-upped shirts as well as the baby's clothes. The fewer clothes you have, the less daunting laundry will be, and the less time your dirty clothes will spend in a heap, smelling sour and grody and bringing you down.
Will you miss stuff? Maybe. I sometimes miss clothes I no longer have, but the things I miss are almost always things that I wear often enough to wear out. If you love it, you wear it. If you don't wear it, you don't miss it. Wardrobes are impermanent and ever-changing anyway, as much as we like to talk about "classics" and "investment pieces." In ten years, nearly all the stuff in your closet will be gone or replaced anyway.
Specific closet-cleaning advice with maternity/postpartum/babywrangling in mind: keep the Lululemon-type stuff because that stuff stretches and because you can send it through the laundry a zillion times. Anything fitted with little or no stretch will probably not accommodate you for much longer, and when/whether it'll fit you again postpartum is anyone's guess. This is not to say you should get rid of all your tailored pants, but if you're on the fence about certain garments with a not-so-forgiving fit, this might help you make the decision. If you plan on breastfeeding or pumping, clothes that don't accommodate those tasks will probably not get much use in the next year or two (goodbye, high-necked dresses).
posted by Metroid Baby at 11:53 AM on December 7, 2015
So, I am not pregnant nor have I been pregnant, but I did a pretty substantial purge of my clothes let's say eight months ago. I do have to laundry a bit more often than I did (but if you have a baby, you're going to be doing laundry all the time anyway, so whatever). I did get rid of a few things I later realized I liked or needed -- like, I got rid of all my grody white tank tops, and then I regretted it in the spring when I had nothing to wear under thinner summer shirts. So I got some more tank tops from Old Navy. It was no big deal. Honestly that's the only thing I felt compelled to replace. I wish I had more summer shirts, but I didn't like the shirts I got rid of. It has given me a really clear sense of what I *actually* like and what I just tolerate (I love soft t-shirts and will wear them until they are gross and fall apart, but they have to be really soft for me to love them).
If the clothes you're thinking about getting rid of aren't particularly special to you, that actually makes them super easy to replace (so long as you're not extremely strapped for cash and/or both scrupulous about buying fair-trade clothes and unwilling to buy used). If you realize you want more junky t-shirts, there are a lot of places that will sell you junky t-shirts for cheap.
I think purging the closet is a good idea right now. I think you will be happy about it overall, even if you have to put in an emergency Old Navy order at some point.
Also, on sweaters: you can almost always wash "dry clean only" sweaters in the washing machine on cold/wool cycle. Just don't put them in the dryer. Lay them flat to dry if at all possible (I like pop-up drying racks like this mesh drying rack)). Seriously, a wool sweater will almost always last longer than an acrylic or rayon one even if you don't follow the instructions to the letter.
posted by mskyle at 12:00 PM on December 7, 2015
If the clothes you're thinking about getting rid of aren't particularly special to you, that actually makes them super easy to replace (so long as you're not extremely strapped for cash and/or both scrupulous about buying fair-trade clothes and unwilling to buy used). If you realize you want more junky t-shirts, there are a lot of places that will sell you junky t-shirts for cheap.
I think purging the closet is a good idea right now. I think you will be happy about it overall, even if you have to put in an emergency Old Navy order at some point.
Also, on sweaters: you can almost always wash "dry clean only" sweaters in the washing machine on cold/wool cycle. Just don't put them in the dryer. Lay them flat to dry if at all possible (I like pop-up drying racks like this mesh drying rack)). Seriously, a wool sweater will almost always last longer than an acrylic or rayon one even if you don't follow the instructions to the letter.
posted by mskyle at 12:00 PM on December 7, 2015
I'm in this mood too, and I got rid of TONS of crap. Most of it was stuff that I never really liked, or wore or looked fabulous on me. I have a smaller wardrobe now, but I'm much happier more of the time in what I'm wearing.
Check out some of the pregnancy blogs about building a capsule wardrobe for when you start to really need maternity clothes.
As for where to buy, don't invest. Target I think has the BEST stuff (according to the pregnant folks I bought maternity clothes for.) It's stylish, inexpensive and pretty neutral. Spiff it up and change it up with infinity scarves or statement necklaces. There will come a time about 5 or 6 months hence where you'll be happy just not to be naked and nothing pokes you.
A Pea in the Pod at Macy's is good place to get stuff. There is usually a rack with stuff marked down 30%. No reason not to buy discounted maternity clothes, also, be on the look out for the spring/summer stuff now. You'll likely NOT be in the mood to deal with it when you're very pregnant and grouchy.
Get a couple of good bras from a maternity shop where they can fit you. Get some comfy panties too. You will not be sorry about spending the money on good underwear.
If you're on the fence about something, put it away until after your pregnancy and decide then. Your shape may change, or your taste or your ability to deal with a particular color.
This is a wonderful time, and if you feel compelled to nest, I think you should!
Enjoy this time!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 12:29 PM on December 7, 2015
Check out some of the pregnancy blogs about building a capsule wardrobe for when you start to really need maternity clothes.
As for where to buy, don't invest. Target I think has the BEST stuff (according to the pregnant folks I bought maternity clothes for.) It's stylish, inexpensive and pretty neutral. Spiff it up and change it up with infinity scarves or statement necklaces. There will come a time about 5 or 6 months hence where you'll be happy just not to be naked and nothing pokes you.
A Pea in the Pod at Macy's is good place to get stuff. There is usually a rack with stuff marked down 30%. No reason not to buy discounted maternity clothes, also, be on the look out for the spring/summer stuff now. You'll likely NOT be in the mood to deal with it when you're very pregnant and grouchy.
Get a couple of good bras from a maternity shop where they can fit you. Get some comfy panties too. You will not be sorry about spending the money on good underwear.
If you're on the fence about something, put it away until after your pregnancy and decide then. Your shape may change, or your taste or your ability to deal with a particular color.
This is a wonderful time, and if you feel compelled to nest, I think you should!
Enjoy this time!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 12:29 PM on December 7, 2015
I've skimmed the above and suspect I'm saying the same thing... Purge away. Never again will you have uninterrupted time/space to think about this sort of thing. I did capsule wardrobes for second and third trimester, and wore pieces from each for about three months or so post partum. Then I did another capsule wardrobe of normal clothes a couple sizes larger than usual for being at home, and the same for work clothes. Part of what makes work clothes professional (a suit!) is fit, so you'll likely end up needing new suits anyway.
Kid's a bit over a year now, and I'm more or less back to my normal size and weight... but I'm not the same shape! Things that used to look good on me don't always anymore - I need different cuts, necklines, etc. Also, still breastfeeding so boob access is still an issue! (And I've gone from "Do I like this? Do I wear it often? Is it well tailored?" to "I can't remember what shirt I'm wearing - Is it clean?" Capsule wardrobes for working moms are a godsend.)
100% vote for getting a bra fitting and getting good quality nursing bras. The shop I went to recommended getting fitted at around or after week 30 I think. They were right. I thought my boobs were bigger, but they weren't anywhere near done yet...
I purged everything as it stopped fitting 'cause we're only having one kid. If you think you might have more, I'd hold on to maternity and post-partum basics. Still would purge your normal pre-pregnancy clothes though! (Take notes of your favourites so you can replace them once your body re-settles!)
posted by jrobin276 at 1:35 PM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Kid's a bit over a year now, and I'm more or less back to my normal size and weight... but I'm not the same shape! Things that used to look good on me don't always anymore - I need different cuts, necklines, etc. Also, still breastfeeding so boob access is still an issue! (And I've gone from "Do I like this? Do I wear it often? Is it well tailored?" to "I can't remember what shirt I'm wearing - Is it clean?" Capsule wardrobes for working moms are a godsend.)
100% vote for getting a bra fitting and getting good quality nursing bras. The shop I went to recommended getting fitted at around or after week 30 I think. They were right. I thought my boobs were bigger, but they weren't anywhere near done yet...
I purged everything as it stopped fitting 'cause we're only having one kid. If you think you might have more, I'd hold on to maternity and post-partum basics. Still would purge your normal pre-pregnancy clothes though! (Take notes of your favourites so you can replace them once your body re-settles!)
posted by jrobin276 at 1:35 PM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
My perspective is somewhat different, but I have to say that I really really appreciated having a variety of clothes to wear post-partum: bigger, smaller, rattler and fancy, loose and tight fitting, the whole gamut. Your body will honestly change day to day and the LAST thing I wanted to do for about a year after I had my daughter was shop for clothes. It was both depressing and frustrating and ultimately would have been a waste of time and money since my body did eventually go back to its pre-pregnancy shape (mostly, bra size changed forever). Of course, now I'm pregnant again so I'll have to dance the same dance all over again.
So, honestly, if you have the space just shove everything that doesn't currently fit into plastic totes and leave it be until you know what you will need and use after the baby.
posted by lydhre at 1:48 PM on December 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
So, honestly, if you have the space just shove everything that doesn't currently fit into plastic totes and leave it be until you know what you will need and use after the baby.
posted by lydhre at 1:48 PM on December 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
I KonMaried when I was pregnant and I wish I hadn't. For some strange hormonal reason, I nested not only in the end of my pregnancy but during the entire 38 weeks. My house was spotless for the first time ever, and the KonMari stuff fed into that. While I felt an enormous sense of . . . global peace when I looked out into my empty drawers, closets, and sparse nursery, I actually got rid of a lot of clothes I wish I hadn't.
The problem, as others have said, is that you really don't know what your body will do when you're pregnant. It's not just the changes of pregnancy (which necessitate significantly different clothes for the third trimester versus the second--by the end I was wearing my husband's sweatpants, Old Navy maternity tees, and a pair of crocs two sizes larger than normal every single day) but postpartum body changes. Not to mention accommodating nursing. Little did I know that those cross-body dresses I felt meh about while pregnant would have been excellent for nursing.
In the end, I've discovered that I needed an entirely different silhouette than I did pre-pregnancy, but that some of the clothes I got rid of while pregnant would have been perfect for that. And on top of that, my feet never did go back to normal. I'm nearly two years out from childbirth and I'm still figuring out what looks good on me.
So yeah, I vote wait, if your hormones can abide by it. You really don't know what you'll need down the line.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:58 PM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
The problem, as others have said, is that you really don't know what your body will do when you're pregnant. It's not just the changes of pregnancy (which necessitate significantly different clothes for the third trimester versus the second--by the end I was wearing my husband's sweatpants, Old Navy maternity tees, and a pair of crocs two sizes larger than normal every single day) but postpartum body changes. Not to mention accommodating nursing. Little did I know that those cross-body dresses I felt meh about while pregnant would have been excellent for nursing.
In the end, I've discovered that I needed an entirely different silhouette than I did pre-pregnancy, but that some of the clothes I got rid of while pregnant would have been perfect for that. And on top of that, my feet never did go back to normal. I'm nearly two years out from childbirth and I'm still figuring out what looks good on me.
So yeah, I vote wait, if your hormones can abide by it. You really don't know what you'll need down the line.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:58 PM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'm really surprised people are telling you to purge your wardrobe. If you happen to have a totally different body shape postpartum, a capsule wardrobe may well contain zero items you can even fit into, and then you get to spend some of your copious free time away from your newborn shopping for clothes. If you have the space I see no reason not to keep them around.
Frankly, my clothing strategy is to not buy anything expensive or throw away anything for reasons other than wear until I'm sure I'm through having kids. I have the luxury of a lot of space and a casual-attire job, though.
posted by town of cats at 6:42 PM on December 7, 2015
Frankly, my clothing strategy is to not buy anything expensive or throw away anything for reasons other than wear until I'm sure I'm through having kids. I have the luxury of a lot of space and a casual-attire job, though.
posted by town of cats at 6:42 PM on December 7, 2015
I was surprised to find myself living in giant, old, message/freebie t-shirts postpartum. Before pregnancy, I'd been transitioning my wardrobe to slimmer cut shirts made of nicer fabric. But for a day at home nursing (which seemed like all I did for a long time) those big old shirts were easy to maneuver around the baby. And I had nursing bras but they weren't that practical for the early days with a tiny fussy little baby, just too much fabric in the way, so I didn't wear them at home much. But it also seemed like people were constantly visiting unannounced, so I actually favored the loose shirts with a logo across the chest as being a bit more modest. And having a few was helpful when the baby pooped on the shirt I put on when I had to change out of the one with the spit-up. I'm sure you will like some kind of clothing that is different from what I did, but since it was such a surprise for me, it might be for you too. I agree with others above that shopping with a tiny baby is hard! So my take is to keep the clothes and try to redirect that energy.
posted by SandiBeech at 7:37 PM on December 7, 2015
posted by SandiBeech at 7:37 PM on December 7, 2015
Definitely do a purge. I boxed everything up during my first pregnancy, and had an experience similar to Eyebrows, where I just didn't want to wear any of it anymore. But also, even after I got back to my pre-pregnancy weight (however briefly), my body was different. It's shaped differently than it was before I had kids, and I've changed my style accordingly. Leave space for that -- you just don't know what might happen.
AND, if you, like me and other folks I know, end up gaining more weight than you thought you would and not dropping it right away, you'll want to get new clothes anyway after baby. There is nothing more demoralizing than not having anything to wear but ill-fitting clothes when you're in the midst of the postpartum haze. Box the clothes up, yeah, in case you do want them again...but also to get them out of the way in case you don't.
posted by linettasky at 10:33 PM on December 7, 2015
AND, if you, like me and other folks I know, end up gaining more weight than you thought you would and not dropping it right away, you'll want to get new clothes anyway after baby. There is nothing more demoralizing than not having anything to wear but ill-fitting clothes when you're in the midst of the postpartum haze. Box the clothes up, yeah, in case you do want them again...but also to get them out of the way in case you don't.
posted by linettasky at 10:33 PM on December 7, 2015
Response by poster: Hi all, thank you so much for your insightful answers! Now I'm thinking that as clothes stop fitting, I'll purge a little more aggressively. Some guidelines I'm thinking of are, do I think I'll want to wear this again post-partum (crew-neck sweaters and dresses that I'm attached to), would this be potentially helpful post-partum (wrap dresses), or can I easily replace this for $20 or less (crappy t-shirts). I also want to aggressively go through the clothing "sinks" throughout our place (the chair where we throw the stuff to iron, the drying rack, the piles of clothes that just collect places) and encourage my husband to do the same (trust me, dude, I see the pile of jeans and hoodies on your side of the bed).
I think I'll store the clothes that don't fit but I want to hang on to in a suitcase to deal with later. I previously stored sweaters in space bags, which was okay because they're clear so I can see what's in there but then it's hard to get one thing out of a space bag so maybe I'll try to get small space bags. We have a storage space in our basement so I could stick the suitcase there or maybe under our bed.
It's funny because I felt oddly defensive when someone suggested that I'm nesting (I've wanted to do this for months! I'm not just "nesting"!) but then again, of course I am. It's also that I have yet to totally unpack after our move. But even my husband is nesting. He keeps talking about padding all of the corners to the furniture in our place. And I appreciate the general advice to do stuff like this that we can do *now* because it will only get harder (so I will get serious about replacing that bathroom vanity that I don't love :-))
Would be happy to hear any more suggestions and such but thanks for your thoughts so far!
posted by kat518 at 3:12 PM on December 8, 2015
I think I'll store the clothes that don't fit but I want to hang on to in a suitcase to deal with later. I previously stored sweaters in space bags, which was okay because they're clear so I can see what's in there but then it's hard to get one thing out of a space bag so maybe I'll try to get small space bags. We have a storage space in our basement so I could stick the suitcase there or maybe under our bed.
It's funny because I felt oddly defensive when someone suggested that I'm nesting (I've wanted to do this for months! I'm not just "nesting"!) but then again, of course I am. It's also that I have yet to totally unpack after our move. But even my husband is nesting. He keeps talking about padding all of the corners to the furniture in our place. And I appreciate the general advice to do stuff like this that we can do *now* because it will only get harder (so I will get serious about replacing that bathroom vanity that I don't love :-))
Would be happy to hear any more suggestions and such but thanks for your thoughts so far!
posted by kat518 at 3:12 PM on December 8, 2015
One last suggestion: do keep some crappy t-shirts. There will be days when the kid will be spewing liquid out both ends and infant poop stains something awful. I appreciated having clothing that I was comfortable throwing away AFTER the gastrointestinal crisis was over.
posted by lydhre at 11:48 AM on December 10, 2015
posted by lydhre at 11:48 AM on December 10, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by xingcat at 10:20 AM on December 7, 2015 [7 favorites]