Cat introduction tips wanted!

November 23, 2015 8:12 AM

Cat people, please give us some cat introduction pointers, because we're kinda lost.

Background: Until 3 months ago had 2 12-year-old male cats (unrelated) who grew up together since kittenhood. They got along pretty well, though were never snuggly with each other. They had fights pretty regularly, but were similarly sized so it wasn't too big a deal. Then one of our cats died.

We waited 2 months and got a new cat (from this question--her name is Sylvia, thanks all!). She's a small female cat, very friendly to humans, and has never lived with another cat.

We've followed the advice about introducing cats to each other (kept them totally separate for about a week, mixed scents, then allowed them to see each other, then tried to let them interact for a few minutes at a time with supervision). Currently they are separated by a set of doors that are propped open about 3 inches, so they can see each other if they want to.

It's been 3 weeks, and they will sometimes hiss at each other. Sometimes one will hiss but not the other. Sometimes they just stare each other down and one will walk away. Sometimes they just look at each other calmly. When we've let them interact, the older cat will chase the new cat.

1. How long should the separation continue? (It's super inconvenient to have them separated, because it involves dividing our railroad apartment into 2; we don't just have an extra room or bathroom for the new cat.)

2. Is there anything we could do better/differently to make this process more successful?

3. How will we know that the cats just won't get along? Is hissing OK or is that a sign that they really shouldn't be allowed to see each other?

Help!

posted by agent99 to Pets & Animals (12 answers total)

Have you tried the Feliway diffuser yet? It sounds like you really need it.

There's also a _different_ synthetic pheromone from Sentry that works well.

Also - I've found that détente can happen around the food bowls; maybe you could feed them simultaneously near the door opening, so that they can experience a bit of normalcy while near each other. I'd start with the food bowls pretty far away from the door opening, so that they each feel safe, then with each feeding move the bowls a few inches closer.
posted by amtho at 8:19 AM on November 23, 2015 [3 favorites]

Let them work it out. They will. Make them eat from the same plate, but have two big water bowls.
posted by Oyéah at 8:21 AM on November 23, 2015

At this point I would put them in a (supervised) room together for a few hours each night and pretend to ignore them and see what happens. Chasing, hissing, even growling, all that stuff is normal. After this length of time, you're sort of at the point where you have to move forward to see what's going to happen.

I introduced two adult females to each other for MONTHS and they hated each other the entire time and there was zero doubt that it was an unsafe situation. You will know if it's not going to work. But you can't know if you don't give them some space to get to know each other.
posted by something something at 8:22 AM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: I forgot to mention, yes, we do have Feliway wafting through the entire apartment.
posted by agent99 at 8:23 AM on November 23, 2015

My cats are sisters and THEY hiss at each other! To be honest, in your situation, I would have allowed them to mix and mingle days ago. There will be hissing and chasing and unhappiness, but it is rare for them not to sort it out between themselves fairly quickly. I would allow them to mingle freely when I'm home to keep an ear on things, and maybe separate them again when I am away for the first few days. Two food dishes away from each other may reduce a tension point, and some people find two litter boxes help too (seperate from each other).

I have changed our cat population many times, and althought its possible, I have yet to have it 'not work out'.

Welcome to your new furry friend and good luck!
posted by Northbysomewhatcrazy at 8:23 AM on November 23, 2015

One thing that's fun and might help is encouraging them to play through the crack under the door (with the door closed at first, then gradually increasing the opening). Just close the door, get a ribbon or shoelace, and play from one side (then the other), peeking the ribbon out through the crack until the opposite-side cat comes and plays (ribbon-peeking-out is usually irresistible). There will be paws showing under the door, and eventually the same-side cat will come to see what's up, and _maybe_ they will play with each other.

Also - the Sentry calming collars might be helpful when they are put into the same room together. I'd put the calming collars on first, ahead of time, so that the cats can get used to them and so that the collars themselves aren't too distracting. I have seen one of these collars make a vet-hostile cat into a purring playful vet visit favorite.
posted by amtho at 8:31 AM on November 23, 2015

I'll second the food bowl detente. Except when I was introducing a nearly feral cat who I couldn't control (he turned out to have most excellent cat manners and was accepted promptly), I've always fed all my cats together when possible. It's a great way to emphasize that the new cat doesn't threaten the existing food supply, and generally associate the new cat with positive experiences.

I'm much less of a hands off guy when there's a lot of growling and hissing than most. Cats don't want to please the way that dogs do, but they do learn pretty quickly that some behaviors aren't acceptable- and while that won't eliminate them, it does cut it back quite a bit. But I don't generally intervene unless one of the cats really isn't having fun, for instance when the growling escalates into yowling.

At this point you've got to start letting them mingle when you're home. Maybe a few minutes to start with, but unless things go poorly they can probably coexist while supervised by the end of the week, and after another week or two probably be unsupervised if there isn't any outright fighting or extensive chases with bad feelings.

It is generally worth biting the bullet sooner than you might like since the work of confinement itself creates stress for both you and the cats, and that causes extra problems.

In my toughest situation, I rotated which cat had the run of the house when I wasn't home to supervise for six weeks or so.
posted by wotsac at 8:58 AM on November 23, 2015 [3 favorites]

And no, the hissing and staring is really a defense of territory thing. If they're still often hissing and staring once their territory is coextensive for a few weeks, and if they're getting into actual, proper yowly angry fights, or if one or both of the cats just doesn't seem to enjoy the situation at all, then you need to worry. But until you've actually established the new status quo, this is just a thing the cats are going to do.
posted by wotsac at 9:04 AM on November 23, 2015

Nthing the opinion that hissing and swatting is normal and no big deal unless it devolves to a real serious fight (and you'll know if it does, don't worry). My two mostly love each other -- they snuggle a lot and clean each others' heads and touch noses and all that good stuff -- but sometimes they get pissy with each other and do the hissing and swatting thing. If it goes on too long, I break it up by clapping loudly a couple times and that's that.
posted by holborne at 9:12 AM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]

Yea my cats hiss sometimes and play much more of the time, and I think the key is that one isn't scared of the other - one is much bigger than the other and when they fight the little one does all of the hissing, but also usually started it, but he isn't at all scared of the bigger one. I've had friends where their cats never could be together at all, and it was partially because one beat up on the other one to a degree that the victim was 24/7 scared of the aggressor. That's what you want to avoid in my non professional opinion.

I agree that you should have gotten them together earlier. It's a little nervewracking but you gotta get it started.
posted by sweetkid at 9:33 AM on November 23, 2015

As mentioned above, we've had sibling cats that couldn't stand each other, but no-one ever got injured in their frequent squaring up / wrestling / swatting matches. Which were a bit funny to watch as the cats were two dark tortie sisters, both of whom were typical of their ilk (loved us, hated everyone else in the feline family) but who conducted their battles in almost complete silence.

Anyway, we had five cats then and two and a half cats now (one remaining Tortie Sister, small and even more cantankerous and quite fragile, plus two hulking boy cats) and my experience is that none of them have ever buddied up or got along really well, but they do coexist well enough even with hissing and slapping. I certainly would let them meet at mealtimes when everyone is more intent on filling their faces, with bowls facing away from each other if possible. We also keep TS away from the boys at night, just so she can relax a bit more but generally they practice indifference towards each other with an occasional spat.
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 11:21 AM on November 23, 2015

nthing the feed them together idea. I had two cats (brother and sister) who decided they hated each other after coming back from the vet one time. We separated them for a bit since there was dangerous fighting. I forced them to eat near each other on opposite sides of a closed door. Did this for like a week. Forced them to tolerate each other when I was home by allowing them both out in the same space. Any serious fighting and I intervened otherwise I tried to let them work it out. You want to try to get them to play together - I did this by tossing a feathery toy on a string on a stick around - it was a toy they both loved and slowly they'd play with it together with me there. You could also do something like smear some tuna on their heads in a hard to reach spot and see if they will social groom each other - the social grooming can give them good feels and a bond. It took my cats over two months to be ok with each other again. Now they snuggle together and love each other a ton! Keep working at it and hopefully you'll get there. It can be tough and really try your patience to be sure.
posted by FireFountain at 12:51 PM on November 23, 2015