How do I stop a sleazy journalist from using my name?
December 6, 2005 3:36 PM 
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Seven years ago, I had an extended affair with a celebrity, and it has recently come back to haunt me.
When I was a sophomore in college, I met and carried on a relationship with this married celebrity, Mr. X, who was pretty much revered in the media as a saint. My roommate at the time had a big mouth and told a whole bunch of people about it after we broke up. Eventually, our affair reached supermarket tabloids as a semi-blind item (i.e. Mr X was named but my own name was not mentioned, just a description of me). Of course Mr. X denied the affair through his publicist; the gossip pretty much fizzled out after that and everyone went on with their lives. I graduated, got married and had a child, and he just kept on being himself.
Fast forward to yesterday; I received a phone call from my old roommate who had been contacted by a journalist who is writing a tell-all book about Mr. X and had dug up my name. The writer couldn't track me down because I've never been listed in the phone book and I have a new name. The writer of course wanted information about me, and the affair, for the book. My roommate for once kept her mouth shut, but called me right away to warn me that this guy is calling other friends of mine, and even my parents (my mother never told me because when he had called she just hung up on him; she didn't want to upset me by telling me he had called).
My question is this: If somehow this guy does get someone in my past to cough up my number and tracks me down, hounding me for dirt, what can I say to him that will make him stop digging? I don't want to talk to him or anyone about this and I'll tell him so, but my fear is that he will print my name anyway. I'm terrified what will happen to me if that occurs, both personally and professionally. Basically, what I am looking for is, any way to keep my name out of that book, short of suing. What are my rights?
Here is an interesting article about legal issues surrounding unauthorized biographies. Mostly it's concerned with the subject of the book, in this case your ex-boytoy, but scroll down and you will see:
Tip: The privacy rights of private persons are treated more stringently then those for public figures/celebrities. Therefore an author should obtain consent from a private person when the biography contains private or embarrassing facts about that person.
If you are tracked down, you would do well to mention the fact that the courts would likely side with you should you choose to bring a suit about your privacy being violated. (The threat of a suit may be enough to keep your name out of it.)
posted by Gator at 3:55 PM on December 6, 2005