First & Last: The long and the short of it = N/A
April 14, 2015 2:03 PM Subscribe
My road to recovery is filled with potholes, and the potholes have alligators in them, and when the alligators open their mouths, piranhas and cobras shoot out at me.
I have found cheaper shelter, but I don't have first and last. I DO have a headache...
An integral part of the solution to my crisis is finding much less expensive housing. I was paying $1300 plus bills which was more than twice my current income. I have found a roommate situation that will much more do-able. (Note- this is in Toronto, ON)
- My current income is roughly $800 a month (variable hours). I am still scrambling for another job to go with it, and am doing whatever little odd jobs I can get...but the $800 is what I can count on.
- Rent will be $750, plus $50 for hyrdo. My phone bill is $80. I can't factor in food or necessities yet, I've been going without anyway so...whatever. (Yes, I know this isn't adding up and that is why I am desperately trying find another job. But, this will still be far more sensible than before.)
- I have given notice to my soon-to-be ex-landord. I am to be out by May 15. One good thing, I owe nothing to them.
- First & last at the new place is expected May 1. If I can't make it, I risk losing the room.
So: I need to come up with $1500 in two weeks.
The gig I have now has just begun. My best guess is I should see about $500 in pay by the end of the month...so there's that.
I have nothing left to sell, I sold everything of value just to get through last month. (I didn't have much of value.) I have no-one to borrow from and my credit is shot. I'm still in overdraft, too.
I have contacted the Toronto rent bank; they won't help because it is a roommate scenario, and that my income is too low. For the record, I am also ineligible for Ontario Works be cause my income is too high.
Alright, then. What haven't I thought of? Any hacks of which I'm not aware? Has anyone faced this predicament and figured it out?
(Or, how do I make $1500 in two weeks? Oh, wouldn't I like to know!)
An integral part of the solution to my crisis is finding much less expensive housing. I was paying $1300 plus bills which was more than twice my current income. I have found a roommate situation that will much more do-able. (Note- this is in Toronto, ON)
- My current income is roughly $800 a month (variable hours). I am still scrambling for another job to go with it, and am doing whatever little odd jobs I can get...but the $800 is what I can count on.
- Rent will be $750, plus $50 for hyrdo. My phone bill is $80. I can't factor in food or necessities yet, I've been going without anyway so...whatever. (Yes, I know this isn't adding up and that is why I am desperately trying find another job. But, this will still be far more sensible than before.)
- I have given notice to my soon-to-be ex-landord. I am to be out by May 15. One good thing, I owe nothing to them.
- First & last at the new place is expected May 1. If I can't make it, I risk losing the room.
So: I need to come up with $1500 in two weeks.
The gig I have now has just begun. My best guess is I should see about $500 in pay by the end of the month...so there's that.
I have nothing left to sell, I sold everything of value just to get through last month. (I didn't have much of value.) I have no-one to borrow from and my credit is shot. I'm still in overdraft, too.
I have contacted the Toronto rent bank; they won't help because it is a roommate scenario, and that my income is too low. For the record, I am also ineligible for Ontario Works be cause my income is too high.
Alright, then. What haven't I thought of? Any hacks of which I'm not aware? Has anyone faced this predicament and figured it out?
(Or, how do I make $1500 in two weeks? Oh, wouldn't I like to know!)
Go for a walk on trash night, a long walk, ideally with a wagon or some such. Pick up anything of any value at all. List it on Kijiji and FB for-sale groups at an appealing price. You'd be amazed at what people will impulse buy, buy to fix up, etc. Here's a guy in Montreal who lives off selling stuff found in the trash for ideas/inspiration.
And scrap the $80 phone bill. You can get bare-bones $15/mo pay as you go stuff from PC Mobile, among other providers.
Here's an ad for a basement room, in a basement, "only request 350," and it looks like there's a good whack of cheap summer sublets coming up from students leaving -- if you have no clear path to the remaining $1000 I think I would start pounding the pavement for something cheaper and maybe even not requiring first and last. It wouldn't be pretty or a long-term solution, but it would allow you to clear your head and more effectively job-hunt while you're able to pay rent and eat.
The only other thing I can think of is seeing if you can sublet your current place for a rate that would be cheap enough to get a short-term tenant but which would still leave you with some folding money while you go couchsurfing, into the shelter system, camping outside the city, I don't know. Not a very appealing option, I know.
posted by kmennie at 2:30 PM on April 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
And scrap the $80 phone bill. You can get bare-bones $15/mo pay as you go stuff from PC Mobile, among other providers.
Here's an ad for a basement room, in a basement, "only request 350," and it looks like there's a good whack of cheap summer sublets coming up from students leaving -- if you have no clear path to the remaining $1000 I think I would start pounding the pavement for something cheaper and maybe even not requiring first and last. It wouldn't be pretty or a long-term solution, but it would allow you to clear your head and more effectively job-hunt while you're able to pay rent and eat.
The only other thing I can think of is seeing if you can sublet your current place for a rate that would be cheap enough to get a short-term tenant but which would still leave you with some folding money while you go couchsurfing, into the shelter system, camping outside the city, I don't know. Not a very appealing option, I know.
posted by kmennie at 2:30 PM on April 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
I think it might be a good idea to take feckless fecal fear mongering up on his offer to connect you with a social worker, if you haven't already done that (or if you haven't tried to connect on your own, maybe through CAMH?). I thought he had a lot of other good advice - have you checked out dishwashing gigs on craigslist, for e.g.?
The other things I can think of are catering (though not sure how quickly they handle payment) and general labour gigs (craigslist again - there seem to be ads for movers), and medical trials. I have seen the latter advertised in the free daily (the Metro).
Don't think too hard, or at all if you can help it, about what you're doing to get through this right now - you are just trying to get through this. You've taken actions to improve your situation, and things will look up if you keep at it. Stay strong.
posted by cotton dress sock at 2:58 PM on April 14, 2015
The other things I can think of are catering (though not sure how quickly they handle payment) and general labour gigs (craigslist again - there seem to be ads for movers), and medical trials. I have seen the latter advertised in the free daily (the Metro).
Don't think too hard, or at all if you can help it, about what you're doing to get through this right now - you are just trying to get through this. You've taken actions to improve your situation, and things will look up if you keep at it. Stay strong.
posted by cotton dress sock at 2:58 PM on April 14, 2015
You need a second gig, one with a steady paycheck that doesn't rely on sales. Bite the bullet, stuff your pride in your pocket temporarily, and start looking at grocery stores, restaurants, retail, coffee shops, anything you can get to pay the bills until you get back on your feet financially.
Quite a bit of your ongoing crisis seems to revolve around depending on uncertain income. Fix that first.
posted by erst at 3:01 PM on April 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Quite a bit of your ongoing crisis seems to revolve around depending on uncertain income. Fix that first.
posted by erst at 3:01 PM on April 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
If you can I'd keep looking for an even cheaper apartment. You're still too far beyond your budget. Your actual "this is the money I have right now" budget, not your "this is what I think I might have if all of the stars align just perfectly" budget. You need to be able to survive on what you make now, and then you'll be in a situation where any money you make on top of that will be money that you can save to get yourself more education/a better apartment/whatever. But right now if you take this roommate situation you're still going to be in a place where your expenses exceed your income. You have to get that under control before anything else will work.
posted by MsMolly at 3:30 PM on April 14, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by MsMolly at 3:30 PM on April 14, 2015 [5 favorites]
I'm not really sure it's possible to find anything much cheaper than that in Toronto, is the problem. I feel like the ad kmennie found is kind of a weird fluke - less than $700, even for a basement room, is pretty rare... You could maybe find a month-to-month one-room rental way west on King West (at Jameson). Or way north in North York, though the problem there is transportation to any jobs will cost you. Unless you can find work up there - which may not be a bad idea, it might allow you to save up for first and last's. Full-time work would probably get you there quicker and more easily (no juggling schedules) - it sounds like you're working on that.
Would you consider going way out, just for a short time?
posted by cotton dress sock at 3:53 PM on April 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Would you consider going way out, just for a short time?
posted by cotton dress sock at 3:53 PM on April 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
I don't mean this to be insensitive, but you've asked at least six questions about how to get out of desperate financial straits. You recently had a similar question deleted for this reason. Again and again, people give you advice and you're clearly not taking it, so I can't help but wonder why you're asking again and again and again how to get right financially, ignoring the collective wisdom, then a few weeks later pretty much asking, "How do I get right financially?"
You've gotten so much great advice that I'm not going to repeat any of it.
You need to figure out why are you ignoring the advice you're getting and continually asking the same question. Once you get that sorted then maybe you can figure out the money part.
posted by kinetic at 4:12 PM on April 14, 2015 [11 favorites]
You've gotten so much great advice that I'm not going to repeat any of it.
You need to figure out why are you ignoring the advice you're getting and continually asking the same question. Once you get that sorted then maybe you can figure out the money part.
posted by kinetic at 4:12 PM on April 14, 2015 [11 favorites]
What kinetic said, basically. I have more thoughts, but dinner is ready.
Please let me connect you with a social worker. Rent banks, Ontario Works, and ODSP all help to cover 1st/last.
Actually, pick up the phone right now and call 211. Tell them the predicament you are in, they will be able to winnow through the list of services to tell you who to contact. After dinner I'm going to see if any restaurants I know need a cash-in-hand dishwasher.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:17 PM on April 14, 2015 [14 favorites]
Please let me connect you with a social worker. Rent banks, Ontario Works, and ODSP all help to cover 1st/last.
Actually, pick up the phone right now and call 211. Tell them the predicament you are in, they will be able to winnow through the list of services to tell you who to contact. After dinner I'm going to see if any restaurants I know need a cash-in-hand dishwasher.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:17 PM on April 14, 2015 [14 favorites]
Cotton dress sock, Craigslist shows a pretty solid selection of rooms in shared apartments that are under $500/month. This is a search with ads that don't have "female" or "student" in them (since the OP wouldn't fit either of those categories) and it still comes up with over 1000 hits. The OP will have to do a lot of searching to find something that is convenient to work, and these rooms are definitely pretty bare bones living, but things within his budget are out there.
posted by MsMolly at 4:19 PM on April 14, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by MsMolly at 4:19 PM on April 14, 2015 [4 favorites]
I strongly agree with the people above who are saying you need to find something for a lot less than $750 if the income you can currently count on is only $800. If you have already sold everything and didn't have much of value to begin with and don't have family that can help you, etc. then it is extremely challenging to raise $1500 in two weeks. Even if you could borrow it, I strongly advise against that. You can't afford to make ends meet now. You sure as hell do not need a new loan on top of that.
You cannot crisis manage your way to a long term solution. Crisis management is for short term relief. In order to break this cycle, you need two things:
1) Crisis management that lets you merely survive in the short term.
2) Long term plans that will break this cycle.
You seem to not be working on that second part. That seems to not even be making your radar.
I will second that you should call 211 and find out what resources exist to help you with crisis management. Find out what food banks, soup kitchens and other resources can help make sure you eat. But you have got to do some long term planning or this will never end. You are already burning through the patience and good will of people here on MetaFilter. I have no idea what other bridges you have burned/are burning. But there will come a point past which people will start not caring because it seems to make no difference.
posted by Michele in California at 4:35 PM on April 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
You cannot crisis manage your way to a long term solution. Crisis management is for short term relief. In order to break this cycle, you need two things:
1) Crisis management that lets you merely survive in the short term.
2) Long term plans that will break this cycle.
You seem to not be working on that second part. That seems to not even be making your radar.
I will second that you should call 211 and find out what resources exist to help you with crisis management. Find out what food banks, soup kitchens and other resources can help make sure you eat. But you have got to do some long term planning or this will never end. You are already burning through the patience and good will of people here on MetaFilter. I have no idea what other bridges you have burned/are burning. But there will come a point past which people will start not caring because it seems to make no difference.
posted by Michele in California at 4:35 PM on April 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
99% of those rooms are in the "way out", more inaccessible areas I mentioned, is the thing - "Toronto" but not really.
I guess, OP, it's down to either changing your idea about living in central Toronto - just for now - or, taking up feckless fecal fear mongering's advice - he is saying there is actually money available for first's/last's.
Unless you've been down that road? Did someone tell you you're ineligible for Ontario Works, face to face? If so, did they not offer any other alternatives?
I think if you haven't done so yet, reaching out to get help - including any psychological support you can get - is really critical.
posted by cotton dress sock at 4:51 PM on April 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
I guess, OP, it's down to either changing your idea about living in central Toronto - just for now - or, taking up feckless fecal fear mongering's advice - he is saying there is actually money available for first's/last's.
Unless you've been down that road? Did someone tell you you're ineligible for Ontario Works, face to face? If so, did they not offer any other alternatives?
I think if you haven't done so yet, reaching out to get help - including any psychological support you can get - is really critical.
posted by cotton dress sock at 4:51 PM on April 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Very last post, sorry - my apologies for not reading your question more carefully. You can't do the rent banks, ok, not enough income. Ontario Works, you're saying no. Disability - if your diagnosis is ADHD, I assume it wouldn't be easy to make a case for it.
Ok, so that leaves you with the fast-money options above. Try them.
Also though, even if you miss out on this $800 room, you can find another one - those ones are easy to find - as soon as you get your work situation sorted. Reviewing replies so far, the road map would be:
1 - Call 211 if you haven't just in case there are some options you don't know about.
2 - Rent a room in North York or Scarborough. It's ok, other people live there, it might not be ideal but it's fine. And this is just going to be temporary, ok? This will give you some time/breathing room to find
3 - A 40-hr a week job, because nobody's living in the TDOT on $800/month. Use temp agencies to get back into any kind of office work. A straight-commission sales job is not something you can do right now. You need a job with a real basic salary. If that means customer service, ok. You can do that for long enough to get back on Vynase and get your head clear and yourself financially comfortable for a while.
4 - THEN you can figure out your next steps for the bigger plan - an apartment closer to the centre, figuring out career questions, etc. Don't lose heart.
posted by cotton dress sock at 5:24 PM on April 14, 2015 [5 favorites]
Ok, so that leaves you with the fast-money options above. Try them.
Also though, even if you miss out on this $800 room, you can find another one - those ones are easy to find - as soon as you get your work situation sorted. Reviewing replies so far, the road map would be:
1 - Call 211 if you haven't just in case there are some options you don't know about.
2 - Rent a room in North York or Scarborough. It's ok, other people live there, it might not be ideal but it's fine. And this is just going to be temporary, ok? This will give you some time/breathing room to find
3 - A 40-hr a week job, because nobody's living in the TDOT on $800/month. Use temp agencies to get back into any kind of office work. A straight-commission sales job is not something you can do right now. You need a job with a real basic salary. If that means customer service, ok. You can do that for long enough to get back on Vynase and get your head clear and yourself financially comfortable for a while.
4 - THEN you can figure out your next steps for the bigger plan - an apartment closer to the centre, figuring out career questions, etc. Don't lose heart.
posted by cotton dress sock at 5:24 PM on April 14, 2015 [5 favorites]
I will add this:
I am currently homeless. I started my own website not long after hitting the street to try to keep track of information I need because good information on services for the poor is surprisingly hard to come by. I am still probably my best customer. I still use my own website to look up things I need information on.
So, you may have trouble uncovering the resources you need even if they exist. I sometimes find it hard to find things online that I know for a fact exist locally because my social worker told me it exists -- and I have had a college class in online search and basically spend all my time online. I think I am reasonably Internet savvy. Some of these resources are just hard to find. Resources to help the poor seem to be almost like an underground, secret network.
If 211 is not able to refer you to sufficient resources to help you cope adequately short term, then find some service provider -- possibly an emergency food bank or homeless services center -- go there in person and ask for paper handouts on local resources. If that is not sufficient, get a phone book and start calling the local area churches and ask if they have any programs.
I am currently really struggling to make ends meet. My food stamps got cancelled and I tried to reinstate them ...yadda yadda. We can skip my sob story. Suffice it to say, recent months have been very challenging and I have again been looking for help.
I currently know of two once a week meal sites locally. Other than on my own website, I doubt they are listed online. They are not listed on the paper handout I was given when I went back to the welfare office and reapplied for food stamps. I believe they are both run by a church (two different churches). One of them is held at a church and one is held at a public park. One of these meals is working for me and is helping me stretch my resources.
I have seen evidence previously that a lot of churches have small programs that are often not listed on the Internet, not listed on handouts at service centers and so on. They get promoted by a sign on the church property, word of mouth and other really local, small scale efforts.
A lot of this will be things like a free meal, free food and free clothes (sometimes good bags with hygiene items and what not). I seriously doubt they will help you come up with $1500 for your first/last months rent so you can move to an apartment you can't really afford. But since your situation is so tight, a free meal here and there can really help. And it looks like you aren't going to get this solved any time soon, so knowing where you can get a free meal or other help can make a difference.
The church based meals generally do not ask a lot of questions and do not require you to fill out forms, prove need, talk about how much money you make, etc. They are looking for converts and some of them are genuinely doing it out of an attitude of "love thy neighbor and help the poor." For various reasons, this is a better solution for me right now than trying to again go back to the welfare office and reapply (again) for food stamps.
So these once a week meals are places where you can go eat just because you are hungry, without being told you make too much money, you make too little money, you live in the wrong neighborhood, you filled out the form wrong, we need another interview. But they are NOT well advertised. You will need to do some research to find things like that.
That still won't get you the $1500 dollars you need to get into THIS particular apartment. But if you can arrange to get into an apartment for less than the $800 you are making per month right now and can supplement your resources with free meals and food pantry food while working out your long term plan, you have much better odds of finding a way to work it out. Going hungry on a regular basis is not a good way to find a solid path forward.
Best of luck.
posted by Michele in California at 6:04 PM on April 14, 2015 [6 favorites]
I am currently homeless. I started my own website not long after hitting the street to try to keep track of information I need because good information on services for the poor is surprisingly hard to come by. I am still probably my best customer. I still use my own website to look up things I need information on.
So, you may have trouble uncovering the resources you need even if they exist. I sometimes find it hard to find things online that I know for a fact exist locally because my social worker told me it exists -- and I have had a college class in online search and basically spend all my time online. I think I am reasonably Internet savvy. Some of these resources are just hard to find. Resources to help the poor seem to be almost like an underground, secret network.
If 211 is not able to refer you to sufficient resources to help you cope adequately short term, then find some service provider -- possibly an emergency food bank or homeless services center -- go there in person and ask for paper handouts on local resources. If that is not sufficient, get a phone book and start calling the local area churches and ask if they have any programs.
I am currently really struggling to make ends meet. My food stamps got cancelled and I tried to reinstate them ...yadda yadda. We can skip my sob story. Suffice it to say, recent months have been very challenging and I have again been looking for help.
I currently know of two once a week meal sites locally. Other than on my own website, I doubt they are listed online. They are not listed on the paper handout I was given when I went back to the welfare office and reapplied for food stamps. I believe they are both run by a church (two different churches). One of them is held at a church and one is held at a public park. One of these meals is working for me and is helping me stretch my resources.
I have seen evidence previously that a lot of churches have small programs that are often not listed on the Internet, not listed on handouts at service centers and so on. They get promoted by a sign on the church property, word of mouth and other really local, small scale efforts.
A lot of this will be things like a free meal, free food and free clothes (sometimes good bags with hygiene items and what not). I seriously doubt they will help you come up with $1500 for your first/last months rent so you can move to an apartment you can't really afford. But since your situation is so tight, a free meal here and there can really help. And it looks like you aren't going to get this solved any time soon, so knowing where you can get a free meal or other help can make a difference.
The church based meals generally do not ask a lot of questions and do not require you to fill out forms, prove need, talk about how much money you make, etc. They are looking for converts and some of them are genuinely doing it out of an attitude of "love thy neighbor and help the poor." For various reasons, this is a better solution for me right now than trying to again go back to the welfare office and reapply (again) for food stamps.
So these once a week meals are places where you can go eat just because you are hungry, without being told you make too much money, you make too little money, you live in the wrong neighborhood, you filled out the form wrong, we need another interview. But they are NOT well advertised. You will need to do some research to find things like that.
That still won't get you the $1500 dollars you need to get into THIS particular apartment. But if you can arrange to get into an apartment for less than the $800 you are making per month right now and can supplement your resources with free meals and food pantry food while working out your long term plan, you have much better odds of finding a way to work it out. Going hungry on a regular basis is not a good way to find a solid path forward.
Best of luck.
posted by Michele in California at 6:04 PM on April 14, 2015 [6 favorites]
You have been on EI recently so you should be eligible for Second Career; it pays you while you are re-training (and pays tuition too). However, I suspect you are not 100% in a place mentally to start school. I don't know about ADHD meds but I strongly suspect they are covered by Trillium. Go back to your doctor, talk to your pharmacist and get your health sorted out.
$800/month is way more than you can pay. I think you may need to live in the shelter system to access services and get stabilised before you can think of paying that much a month in rent. It sucks, but moving out way further from the core and getting a metro pass might be an option. As is finding a single room for closer to $400-500 in a large share house. If you get accepted by second career you might want to look into doing it somewhere cheaper like Hamilton. Right now though, you don't have enough money to put a roof over your head so the shelter system will do that for you.
posted by saucysault at 7:21 PM on April 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
$800/month is way more than you can pay. I think you may need to live in the shelter system to access services and get stabilised before you can think of paying that much a month in rent. It sucks, but moving out way further from the core and getting a metro pass might be an option. As is finding a single room for closer to $400-500 in a large share house. If you get accepted by second career you might want to look into doing it somewhere cheaper like Hamilton. Right now though, you don't have enough money to put a roof over your head so the shelter system will do that for you.
posted by saucysault at 7:21 PM on April 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thank you everyone.
(Look, I'm not easy to deal with and I'm sorry for that. I am a mess, and I always have been, and I have a hard time wording things right; as well I find it difficult to take in information. I often don't make sense, and so many things that seem to come easy for everyone else make no sense to me.
It's been like that my entire life. My childhood didn't make sense; it didn't make sense why my mother was so sick and dying more and more each passing day when I was young, it didn't make sense why she given up on life. And it didn't make sense why my father would make my mom and I stand by the wood stove and point his shotgun at us and tell us how easy it would be to pull the trigger. It did not make sense to me why he would strap me with his belt over and over, calling me a worthless piece of shit until I would agree with him.
And so, I grew up scared. Scared of life, scared of trying to make sense of things. Scared to ask questions. My mother asked no questions and neither did I. My mother held the belief that in life you get what you get, and you ask no questions, and it will all be over someday.
Only much later in my life did I finally want to ask questions...and I guess I'm not very good at it. And often indeed, when I get answers I'm not sure what to do with them. So I ask over and over, and hope that I'll finally understand.)
Addressing a couple points - I'd like if at all possible to stay in the area I am (which is not really downtown, but just outside of it) because I am within walking distance of the job I do have...so I can save on transit. This job could well lead to better things in a while, so I'd like to keep it if I could. All I need is another job to go with it and I just might make it. And I should note I have been able to get additional gigs, short term though they may be. Assisting at a trade show, yard work cleanup, painting - are some examples of what I've done in the last month.
The $800 is what I can count on, guaranteed. I should've been clearer. Though overall my income still is unstable and that is why I want that second job.
As for this room available, it is with someone I know, and I would feel better about that. I should mention the $750 is all inclusive and laundry is free.
My big huge bullet point is this: If I can just figure out how to get that first/last paid, and then land a second steady job that pays out few hundred a month, then I'll be ok.
And, yes - Second Career. I have investigated it and am pretty sure it's my only hope to improve my life in the future, and want to make that happen. But first I need to stabilize and get to a better mental place. Also, I have no idea what I would study since I have still no idea what I want to do with my life -hence a couple of askmes I have posted.
posted by Soap D. Spencer at 7:54 PM on April 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
(Look, I'm not easy to deal with and I'm sorry for that. I am a mess, and I always have been, and I have a hard time wording things right; as well I find it difficult to take in information. I often don't make sense, and so many things that seem to come easy for everyone else make no sense to me.
It's been like that my entire life. My childhood didn't make sense; it didn't make sense why my mother was so sick and dying more and more each passing day when I was young, it didn't make sense why she given up on life. And it didn't make sense why my father would make my mom and I stand by the wood stove and point his shotgun at us and tell us how easy it would be to pull the trigger. It did not make sense to me why he would strap me with his belt over and over, calling me a worthless piece of shit until I would agree with him.
And so, I grew up scared. Scared of life, scared of trying to make sense of things. Scared to ask questions. My mother asked no questions and neither did I. My mother held the belief that in life you get what you get, and you ask no questions, and it will all be over someday.
Only much later in my life did I finally want to ask questions...and I guess I'm not very good at it. And often indeed, when I get answers I'm not sure what to do with them. So I ask over and over, and hope that I'll finally understand.)
Addressing a couple points - I'd like if at all possible to stay in the area I am (which is not really downtown, but just outside of it) because I am within walking distance of the job I do have...so I can save on transit. This job could well lead to better things in a while, so I'd like to keep it if I could. All I need is another job to go with it and I just might make it. And I should note I have been able to get additional gigs, short term though they may be. Assisting at a trade show, yard work cleanup, painting - are some examples of what I've done in the last month.
The $800 is what I can count on, guaranteed. I should've been clearer. Though overall my income still is unstable and that is why I want that second job.
As for this room available, it is with someone I know, and I would feel better about that. I should mention the $750 is all inclusive and laundry is free.
My big huge bullet point is this: If I can just figure out how to get that first/last paid, and then land a second steady job that pays out few hundred a month, then I'll be ok.
And, yes - Second Career. I have investigated it and am pretty sure it's my only hope to improve my life in the future, and want to make that happen. But first I need to stabilize and get to a better mental place. Also, I have no idea what I would study since I have still no idea what I want to do with my life -hence a couple of askmes I have posted.
posted by Soap D. Spencer at 7:54 PM on April 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Michele, your points are great, and services work slightly differently up here, so I'm not sure they translate.
Soap, 'could lead' is horseshit. I think you'll be more effective if you focus on what is, here and now, and not what might be.
I am willing to extend a room in my apartment (with its own separate entrance for you, and a lockable-by-you door between us, for a very specific period of time) to you for a price that is affordable for you, that gives you room to provide first and last for 1 June or maybe 1 July, if you can show a plan that gets you something stable. Available 15 May or sooner.
#1 on your plan will need to be a living space that is within your actual budget. Is this something you are willing to do?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:03 PM on April 14, 2015 [17 favorites]
Soap, 'could lead' is horseshit. I think you'll be more effective if you focus on what is, here and now, and not what might be.
I am willing to extend a room in my apartment (with its own separate entrance for you, and a lockable-by-you door between us, for a very specific period of time) to you for a price that is affordable for you, that gives you room to provide first and last for 1 June or maybe 1 July, if you can show a plan that gets you something stable. Available 15 May or sooner.
#1 on your plan will need to be a living space that is within your actual budget. Is this something you are willing to do?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:03 PM on April 14, 2015 [17 favorites]
(I am right downtown on a 24hr TTC route, fyi)
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:04 PM on April 14, 2015
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:04 PM on April 14, 2015
Hey, I am okay with you asking questions, even over and over. I am probably one of the more patient people here in that regard. So I am not scolding you for doing that. I am just trying to get you to focus on what is realistic.
Part of being realistic involves an awareness of how much other people are willing to lend you an ear. My situation is also a tough one. Yes, there are times when I am incredibly frustrated with the degree to which other people simply do not understand, aren't supportive and so on. But I also know that it is better to give it a rest sometimes than to demand that they understand something that is simply alien to their experience.
That is one of the most maddening things I deal with. So you definitely have my sympathies. But the reality is that people only have so much to give and it is better to get some help, even if it isn't really enough, than to get told to shove off, we have had enough of your crap.
I wish the world was better about some things. But it just isn't and understanding that is helpful in trying to forge a path forward.
My big huge bullet point is this: If I can just figure out how to get that first/last paid, and then land a second steady job that pays out few hundred a month, then I'll be ok.
Those are some very big IFs you are dealing with. Other than the very first answer, I am not seeing any answers that seem to think coming up with that $1500 on such short notice is realistic. And trying to get a second job is also something that can take a long time.
I have had plenty of plans in the past that sounded really good on paper but did not pan out. I also basically had a wealthy man promise me substantial assistance some years ago. I haven't gotten it yet. I sometimes cling to that (empty) promise as hope of a quick resolution, as a kind of emotional security blanket. But I am aware that actually betting on his help is foolish. So I continue to work on finding solutions that are realistic, that are achievable. It is the only path forward. If I catch a lucky break, great! But I don't make plans for the future based on "and then some lucky break happens and that makes it all pan out" which is kinda what you appear to be doing here.
Because you are Canadian, there are things I didn't talk about because I assume it wouldn't help you. Some of the things that have been helpful to me have been doing some online reward programs that I assume are U.S. only, like coke rewards and Bing rewards. Neither of those would be a means to come up with $1500 in short order. It amounts to a $5 gift card here and there, which is meaningful and helpful to me and it is something I can kind of count on because I am at the computer all the time anyway. It is something I can do, in spite of my medical situation. And a little extra here and there -- consistently that I can count on and have some degree of control over making it happen -- makes a difference.
I also collect recyclables to supplement my income. I have no idea if Canada has any programs for turning cans and bottles into cash as an incentive to increase recycling. Again, this is not a means to make $1500 quickly. It is a means for me to make a relatively quick $1 to $5 dollars per day. It adds up and it means I no longer ever face a situation of "Okay, I have no money at all left and it looks like two weeks before I can get more and OH GOD." I know that a worst case scenario is that I won't have much, but I will have something. There is a big difference between the prospect of having nothing at all to eat for two weeks straight and the prospect of having very little every day for two weeks straight.
I do freelance writing online and that is kind of my main gig in terms of earned income (I also get alimony, which is currently my big check for the month). I have worked hard on getting better at that and on developing some good practices for work process so I don't write crap while I feel awful and thereby hurt my long term earning potential. It's been a long, slow, hard process but my earned income is trending upwards (even though I have been too sick to work the past few weeks, which has made things really hard). So, this is something that works well for me, but, I have never earned $1500 in short order that way and there is some ramp up time.
This is why I emphasize that you need to come up with a realistic long term plan. Short of doing something stupid and desperate like committing some kind of crime, coming up with that kind of money on short notice is not easy for most people. It is even less easy for someone (like you and I) who has trouble coping on a regular basis. Rising to the occasion takes more energy, mental focus and so on than just muddling through day-to-day life. When just muddling through is so hard, the odds are really poor that you can quickly raise that kind of money.
It sounds like you have already looked at the programs that are available. It sounds like other people here who are Canadian and somewhat in the know for such things don't have new programs to suggest that you had not previously heard of. Maybe one exists, but, again, if it does, it isn't readily turning up.
I am not telling you that to discourage you. I am telling you that you need a more solid, realistic plan that isn't so dependent on very big IFs. That is the only path out of this.
I am making forward progress against very long odds with very big problems. That is how I have been doing it. And it is why I haven't yet walked in front of a train to try to end it -- because I am seeing gradual but steady forward progress.
posted by Michele in California at 11:55 AM on April 15, 2015 [5 favorites]
Part of being realistic involves an awareness of how much other people are willing to lend you an ear. My situation is also a tough one. Yes, there are times when I am incredibly frustrated with the degree to which other people simply do not understand, aren't supportive and so on. But I also know that it is better to give it a rest sometimes than to demand that they understand something that is simply alien to their experience.
That is one of the most maddening things I deal with. So you definitely have my sympathies. But the reality is that people only have so much to give and it is better to get some help, even if it isn't really enough, than to get told to shove off, we have had enough of your crap.
I wish the world was better about some things. But it just isn't and understanding that is helpful in trying to forge a path forward.
My big huge bullet point is this: If I can just figure out how to get that first/last paid, and then land a second steady job that pays out few hundred a month, then I'll be ok.
Those are some very big IFs you are dealing with. Other than the very first answer, I am not seeing any answers that seem to think coming up with that $1500 on such short notice is realistic. And trying to get a second job is also something that can take a long time.
I have had plenty of plans in the past that sounded really good on paper but did not pan out. I also basically had a wealthy man promise me substantial assistance some years ago. I haven't gotten it yet. I sometimes cling to that (empty) promise as hope of a quick resolution, as a kind of emotional security blanket. But I am aware that actually betting on his help is foolish. So I continue to work on finding solutions that are realistic, that are achievable. It is the only path forward. If I catch a lucky break, great! But I don't make plans for the future based on "and then some lucky break happens and that makes it all pan out" which is kinda what you appear to be doing here.
Because you are Canadian, there are things I didn't talk about because I assume it wouldn't help you. Some of the things that have been helpful to me have been doing some online reward programs that I assume are U.S. only, like coke rewards and Bing rewards. Neither of those would be a means to come up with $1500 in short order. It amounts to a $5 gift card here and there, which is meaningful and helpful to me and it is something I can kind of count on because I am at the computer all the time anyway. It is something I can do, in spite of my medical situation. And a little extra here and there -- consistently that I can count on and have some degree of control over making it happen -- makes a difference.
I also collect recyclables to supplement my income. I have no idea if Canada has any programs for turning cans and bottles into cash as an incentive to increase recycling. Again, this is not a means to make $1500 quickly. It is a means for me to make a relatively quick $1 to $5 dollars per day. It adds up and it means I no longer ever face a situation of "Okay, I have no money at all left and it looks like two weeks before I can get more and OH GOD." I know that a worst case scenario is that I won't have much, but I will have something. There is a big difference between the prospect of having nothing at all to eat for two weeks straight and the prospect of having very little every day for two weeks straight.
I do freelance writing online and that is kind of my main gig in terms of earned income (I also get alimony, which is currently my big check for the month). I have worked hard on getting better at that and on developing some good practices for work process so I don't write crap while I feel awful and thereby hurt my long term earning potential. It's been a long, slow, hard process but my earned income is trending upwards (even though I have been too sick to work the past few weeks, which has made things really hard). So, this is something that works well for me, but, I have never earned $1500 in short order that way and there is some ramp up time.
This is why I emphasize that you need to come up with a realistic long term plan. Short of doing something stupid and desperate like committing some kind of crime, coming up with that kind of money on short notice is not easy for most people. It is even less easy for someone (like you and I) who has trouble coping on a regular basis. Rising to the occasion takes more energy, mental focus and so on than just muddling through day-to-day life. When just muddling through is so hard, the odds are really poor that you can quickly raise that kind of money.
It sounds like you have already looked at the programs that are available. It sounds like other people here who are Canadian and somewhat in the know for such things don't have new programs to suggest that you had not previously heard of. Maybe one exists, but, again, if it does, it isn't readily turning up.
I am not telling you that to discourage you. I am telling you that you need a more solid, realistic plan that isn't so dependent on very big IFs. That is the only path out of this.
I am making forward progress against very long odds with very big problems. That is how I have been doing it. And it is why I haven't yet walked in front of a train to try to end it -- because I am seeing gradual but steady forward progress.
posted by Michele in California at 11:55 AM on April 15, 2015 [5 favorites]
Can you do under-the-table day labor? Get up super early and line up at teh hardware store before 6am and get picked up to do some construction. You'll probably start out by picking up debris around the site or some such, but if you prove to be reliable you can gain contacts and get $100US per day or more after a short period.
Can you donate plasma? Participate in medical studies? Contract work for a downtown messenger / delivery service?
posted by WeekendJen at 12:31 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
Can you donate plasma? Participate in medical studies? Contract work for a downtown messenger / delivery service?
posted by WeekendJen at 12:31 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Update:
Well, I pulled it off...mostly. I raised $1200 of the $1500 I needed, and indeed the month isn't over yet. I was lucky enough to find a labour-intensive reno gig that offered mucho hours. It nearly killed me (so, SO tired...) but I got to use a few skills I sort of forgot I had, and it sure was a great bootcamp (four flights of stairs + cinder blocks = in combat shape pretty quickly).
My soul feels a bit better.
I'm not out of the woods yet; this gig ends soon, but I have a couple of opportunities on the horizon.
Thanks again to everyone for their concern and advice. Much appreciated.
posted by Soap D. Spencer at 4:09 PM on April 27, 2015 [3 favorites]
Well, I pulled it off...mostly. I raised $1200 of the $1500 I needed, and indeed the month isn't over yet. I was lucky enough to find a labour-intensive reno gig that offered mucho hours. It nearly killed me (so, SO tired...) but I got to use a few skills I sort of forgot I had, and it sure was a great bootcamp (four flights of stairs + cinder blocks = in combat shape pretty quickly).
My soul feels a bit better.
I'm not out of the woods yet; this gig ends soon, but I have a couple of opportunities on the horizon.
Thanks again to everyone for their concern and advice. Much appreciated.
posted by Soap D. Spencer at 4:09 PM on April 27, 2015 [3 favorites]
Congratulations. :-)
posted by Michele in California at 6:07 PM on April 27, 2015
posted by Michele in California at 6:07 PM on April 27, 2015
In Toronto you are eligible for the Rent Bank if you have a job and need to borrow money for rent. See here. I believe it is interest-free.
If you receive any social assistance at all (OW or ODSP) you are eligible for the Housing Stabilization Fund (ask your OW worker or go to your community legal clinic).
In the future, perhaps in the winter, if you get behind on hydro bills, LEAP is assistance for low-income individuals with emergency needs: here
Your local community legal clinic has pretty stringent financial criteria of who they can assist but likely you would be eligible. They are, in my experience, great at connecting you with services that can assist you in these situations including housing lists of low-cost housing across the city (I know this list is available at the Parkdale clinic). Though they are a strained resource, they specifically provide assistance for housing and housing rights (as well as social assistance and benefits).
posted by hepta at 6:58 PM on April 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
If you receive any social assistance at all (OW or ODSP) you are eligible for the Housing Stabilization Fund (ask your OW worker or go to your community legal clinic).
In the future, perhaps in the winter, if you get behind on hydro bills, LEAP is assistance for low-income individuals with emergency needs: here
Your local community legal clinic has pretty stringent financial criteria of who they can assist but likely you would be eligible. They are, in my experience, great at connecting you with services that can assist you in these situations including housing lists of low-cost housing across the city (I know this list is available at the Parkdale clinic). Though they are a strained resource, they specifically provide assistance for housing and housing rights (as well as social assistance and benefits).
posted by hepta at 6:58 PM on April 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Soap D. Spencer at 2:12 PM on April 14, 2015