gift (?) for a NICU nurse
November 23, 2014 6:54 PM Subscribe
Our daughters just got out of the NICU after a long stay. Our primary nurse was really wonderful and I'd love some advice about how to thank her.
The staff of the NICU was really great in general, and I read this question and am planning to bring some food and a note for the whole staff. But the main nurse on our care team was basically single-handedly responsible for bringing me through the whole thing with my emotional health intact. I want to thank her for it.
I think this is one of those situations where someone has helped you so much that nothing feels adequate in response. The only thing I can think of is some flowers and a letter with a picture of the girls -- any ideas of something that would be more meaningful? (And are nurses even allowed to accept gifts from patients?)
(Also, let me say that the answers to both my question and an earlier one about NICU stuff were incredibly helpful to me during this crazy time and I read through both of those threads multiple times. So thanks for the help, metafilter!)
The staff of the NICU was really great in general, and I read this question and am planning to bring some food and a note for the whole staff. But the main nurse on our care team was basically single-handedly responsible for bringing me through the whole thing with my emotional health intact. I want to thank her for it.
I think this is one of those situations where someone has helped you so much that nothing feels adequate in response. The only thing I can think of is some flowers and a letter with a picture of the girls -- any ideas of something that would be more meaningful? (And are nurses even allowed to accept gifts from patients?)
(Also, let me say that the answers to both my question and an earlier one about NICU stuff were incredibly helpful to me during this crazy time and I read through both of those threads multiple times. So thanks for the help, metafilter!)
The NICU nurses I know would all appreciate a picture of the girls. I think that also the nurses I know would really appreciate something like a Starbucks gift card (or a card that you can use in the hospital Starbucks/coffee shop) or a gift card for a dinner at a nice local restaurant. The two nurses I know have both received and accepted those types of gifts from their patient's parents and they have very much appreciated them.
But the biggest and most important thing is the picture and a heartfelt note to her about how helpful she was. Also, write a letter to her supervisor about how great she is.
posted by sockermom at 7:14 PM on November 23, 2014 [4 favorites]
But the biggest and most important thing is the picture and a heartfelt note to her about how helpful she was. Also, write a letter to her supervisor about how great she is.
posted by sockermom at 7:14 PM on November 23, 2014 [4 favorites]
My little sister is an ICU nurse, and from what she has said in the past, I think that a letter with a picture of the girls is perfect. What will make it even more meaningful though is if you send another letter in a few months with an update on how well everyone is doing. Things like that makes my sister's day.
If you bring food for the unit, call ahead and make sure you bring it when your nurse is going to be there, she probably misses seeing you too!
posted by mjcon at 7:18 PM on November 23, 2014 [4 favorites]
If you bring food for the unit, call ahead and make sure you bring it when your nurse is going to be there, she probably misses seeing you too!
posted by mjcon at 7:18 PM on November 23, 2014 [4 favorites]
A personalized thank you letter is great but also write a letter to the Director of Nursing, the HR department, and the CEO of the hospital. I doubt if she can ethically accept anything other than a token gift.
posted by Grumpy old geek at 7:32 PM on November 23, 2014 [9 favorites]
posted by Grumpy old geek at 7:32 PM on November 23, 2014 [9 favorites]
An SBUX card would be so appreciated, I'd bet, so the nurse can at least have a moment's respite with a decent cup of coffee. A thank you note as well.
posted by discopolo at 7:33 PM on November 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by discopolo at 7:33 PM on November 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
My wife is an ICU nurse. She received a card from a patient's family and it meant the world to her. Like I was amazed at how much she talked about it.
Avoid monetary or similar gifts (starbucks cards etc.) as that can cause some ethical silliness, especially if other staff members see it.
posted by Sternmeyer at 7:34 PM on November 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
Avoid monetary or similar gifts (starbucks cards etc.) as that can cause some ethical silliness, especially if other staff members see it.
posted by Sternmeyer at 7:34 PM on November 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
Here's what I'd do:
One card for the whole unit with a box of cookies or something similar that can be shared. Include a photo!
And,
A personal thank you letter addressed to this nurse,with a copy sent to the manager of her unit (and if you really want to go big, to the Chief Nursing Officer of the hospital too) would be really nice. You could slip a gift certificate in there if you want to but I think the letter will really express your appreciation. If you're worried about legality, one option is you could call the hospital and ask for their risk management or legal department. They should be able to clarify the specific monetary total the nurse can accept.
- A Nurse
posted by latkes at 7:50 PM on November 23, 2014 [4 favorites]
One card for the whole unit with a box of cookies or something similar that can be shared. Include a photo!
And,
A personal thank you letter addressed to this nurse,with a copy sent to the manager of her unit (and if you really want to go big, to the Chief Nursing Officer of the hospital too) would be really nice. You could slip a gift certificate in there if you want to but I think the letter will really express your appreciation. If you're worried about legality, one option is you could call the hospital and ask for their risk management or legal department. They should be able to clarify the specific monetary total the nurse can accept.
- A Nurse
posted by latkes at 7:50 PM on November 23, 2014 [4 favorites]
I have a nurse mother and a doctor father, and it would surprise me to hear that there is a rule against accepting gifts. Both of my parents have received (small/token) gifts from patients now and again. Hell, I remember Christmases where there was literally no room on the kitchen counters due to the onslaught of fruit baskets, homemade fudge, holiday cookies, cured meats, hogshead cheese (!), etc. from my parents' patients.
That said, yes, keep it simple and in the realm of consumables or a token gift card, for sure. My parents get gifts from patients, but they don't get TVs or cars or jewelry from patients. One year a patient gifted my dad with a beagle puppy, and that was highly controversial.
posted by Sara C. at 7:55 PM on November 23, 2014
That said, yes, keep it simple and in the realm of consumables or a token gift card, for sure. My parents get gifts from patients, but they don't get TVs or cars or jewelry from patients. One year a patient gifted my dad with a beagle puppy, and that was highly controversial.
posted by Sara C. at 7:55 PM on November 23, 2014
I don't know your families naming traditions which can be, well, traditional but a middle name might work here and make for a nice story.
My Mom was extremely well taken care of when her situation was dire and afterword I sent an effusive email ccing everyone I could find thanking them.
posted by vapidave at 8:18 PM on November 23, 2014
My Mom was extremely well taken care of when her situation was dire and afterword I sent an effusive email ccing everyone I could find thanking them.
posted by vapidave at 8:18 PM on November 23, 2014
In my experience as a nurse, yes, some places do have rules against excepting gifts that have monetary value. This really varies from place to place, though. You could potentially call the hospital's information desk and see if they can tell you their policy, if you are set on giving some kind of gift card, etc.
But I really do think a nicely written note, saying what you say here about how important her help was for you and your family, would be the best gift you could give. That's the sort of thing that keeps you going when you have to stay late after a 12-hour shift, a doctor is yelling at you for something that isn't your fault, a family member is threatening to sue you, and you have two new transfers.
posted by bookish at 8:20 PM on November 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
But I really do think a nicely written note, saying what you say here about how important her help was for you and your family, would be the best gift you could give. That's the sort of thing that keeps you going when you have to stay late after a 12-hour shift, a doctor is yelling at you for something that isn't your fault, a family member is threatening to sue you, and you have two new transfers.
posted by bookish at 8:20 PM on November 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
Echoing the above advice to write a heartfelt letter with a photo. I'm a nurse, as well as a mom to NICU-graduate twin boys, and something the NICU staff have loved over the last 4 years are updates of how our kiddos are doing (we send annual birthday photos and Christmas cards that are put up on the private staff room photo wall) and 'anniversary' visits to the NICU. The nurses have loved seeing them in person and we keep in contact with them on Facebook as well.
posted by sealee at 8:46 PM on November 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by sealee at 8:46 PM on November 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
Call the HR department and find out their policy on gifts.
If you CAN get her something, give it directly to HR or to her and do not drop it off at the nurse's station. A coffee gift certificate is A+++.
I think it's great that you would also include a larger food gift for the whole team. FYI - a fruit basket is a great alternative to the onslaught of chocolates/candies that nurses are often gifted.
posted by pintapicasso at 8:47 PM on November 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
If you CAN get her something, give it directly to HR or to her and do not drop it off at the nurse's station. A coffee gift certificate is A+++.
I think it's great that you would also include a larger food gift for the whole team. FYI - a fruit basket is a great alternative to the onslaught of chocolates/candies that nurses are often gifted.
posted by pintapicasso at 8:47 PM on November 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
We did a basket filled with little funsize chocolates, healthy snacks and candies for all the nursing staff to dip into and share so everyone on each shift got at least a handful, and a handwritten card with photograph when she was healthier looking thanking them, plus detailed feedback to the management on how great the nurses were. I found out recently that they had framed our letter with the photo and a friend with a grandchild in the same NICU spotted it and was encouraged knowing our story for their little baby!
The most helpful thing I've done is make a google reminder for myself and send an annual update with a new photograph for the nurse, because they tend to only hear from patients' families the first year. When we were in the NICU, a mom and her four-year old came by with a cake for the nurses - they couldn't keep the cake for health reasons, but they were so so happy that shift to see the little kid grown up.
posted by viggorlijah at 10:02 PM on November 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
The most helpful thing I've done is make a google reminder for myself and send an annual update with a new photograph for the nurse, because they tend to only hear from patients' families the first year. When we were in the NICU, a mom and her four-year old came by with a cake for the nurses - they couldn't keep the cake for health reasons, but they were so so happy that shift to see the little kid grown up.
posted by viggorlijah at 10:02 PM on November 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
+1 to annual updates. I went to a locally famous perinatologist for a few appointments and was so impressed to see photographs of ten-year-olds he'd delivered a decade prior on the walls of his office.
posted by town of cats at 11:22 PM on November 23, 2014
posted by town of cats at 11:22 PM on November 23, 2014
I'm so happy to hear that your babies are doing well.
My MIL worked in the nursery, Husbunny used to be a nurse, my sister volunteers in the NICU. They all did this because they're called to it.
For sure send something nice to all the nurses in the NICU.
Send a letter to the hospital telling the administration how wonderful this nurse was to you and your children. This can mean a promotion in the future, which is better than a gift card.
Lastly, donate in the name of the nurse to UNICEF, or Doctors without Borders or St. Judes.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:35 AM on November 24, 2014
My MIL worked in the nursery, Husbunny used to be a nurse, my sister volunteers in the NICU. They all did this because they're called to it.
For sure send something nice to all the nurses in the NICU.
Send a letter to the hospital telling the administration how wonderful this nurse was to you and your children. This can mean a promotion in the future, which is better than a gift card.
Lastly, donate in the name of the nurse to UNICEF, or Doctors without Borders or St. Judes.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:35 AM on November 24, 2014
Our gift to our primary nurses after a 4.5 month long NICU stay was a promise of annual updates, which I intend to keep up forever. I saw them receive updates from former patients, and I realized that more than chocolate or Starbucks what they really want is to stay in touch with the kids and families that they grow to love.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 6:55 AM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 6:55 AM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
As a former NICU nurse, I agree with many of the above posts:
Avoid any gift of significant monetary value.
Write to the hospital administrator for customer service or the director of nursing praising the nurse and giving specific examples of exceptional care.
Provide annual updates to the nurse and/or the NICU, with photos and a personal note.
Provide a fruit basket or homemade treats to the NICU with a note of appreciation for all the nurses who cared for your daughters.
Try to visit the NICU with your daughters as they grow. It was really great to see our kids not just as toddlers, but middle schoolers, hs and college graduates as well!
I know whatever you choose to do will be greatly appreciated. All the best to you and your family.
posted by zoel at 10:18 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Avoid any gift of significant monetary value.
Write to the hospital administrator for customer service or the director of nursing praising the nurse and giving specific examples of exceptional care.
Provide annual updates to the nurse and/or the NICU, with photos and a personal note.
Provide a fruit basket or homemade treats to the NICU with a note of appreciation for all the nurses who cared for your daughters.
Try to visit the NICU with your daughters as they grow. It was really great to see our kids not just as toddlers, but middle schoolers, hs and college graduates as well!
I know whatever you choose to do will be greatly appreciated. All the best to you and your family.
posted by zoel at 10:18 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
My wife is an NICU nurse. She enjoys seeing pictures and getting updates on former patients. If you are able and comfortable with it add them as a friend on Facebook or another social media site and they can keep up. My wife is Facebook friends with many former patients families and really enjoys seeing healthy, happy patients years later.
Although I am sure the gesture of giving food is appreciated she says they receive a very large amount of food and it can be a little too tempting for staff that is on a diet.
posted by Justin Case at 1:40 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Although I am sure the gesture of giving food is appreciated she says they receive a very large amount of food and it can be a little too tempting for staff that is on a diet.
posted by Justin Case at 1:40 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
There was a patient with whom I had a once in a lifetime (I hope) encounter that could have ended in terrible tragedy and instead ended well.
They sent me a poem they wrote in a card, and they searched for me online and found that I am affiliated with a charity, to which they made a very kind donation. I still tear up every time I think of it, and I think I always will. The poem card is one of my most prized possessions.
posted by treehorn+bunny at 9:52 PM on November 24, 2014
They sent me a poem they wrote in a card, and they searched for me online and found that I am affiliated with a charity, to which they made a very kind donation. I still tear up every time I think of it, and I think I always will. The poem card is one of my most prized possessions.
posted by treehorn+bunny at 9:52 PM on November 24, 2014
Response by poster: Thanks very much, everyone. It's nice to hear how you all feel about hearing from patients. I'm back to my original plan of bringing her some flowers and a picture, and a long note about how much she helped me.
And we will definitely, definitely come back and visit in the future!
posted by gerstle at 4:35 AM on November 29, 2014 [1 favorite]
And we will definitely, definitely come back and visit in the future!
posted by gerstle at 4:35 AM on November 29, 2014 [1 favorite]
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I'm not a nurse but am in a helping profession and appreciate a personalized thank-you most of all. (And you could also send a copy to the hospital administration because they can keep it in her personnel record, which could possibly help her get a raise or bonus one day.) She can reread the note during hard times in the NICU and can keep the flowers or share them with colleagues if she'd prefer. Because she sounds as caring as she is professional, I am confident that her greatest "present" or reward here was seeing your daughters go home healthy and that wish was granted!
posted by smorgasbord at 7:14 PM on November 23, 2014 [5 favorites]