Flash, I Love You, But We Only Have Eight Hours to Clean the World!
November 10, 2014 4:41 PM   Subscribe

I'm devoting tomorrow to battling entropy and getting my house back to a mostly-clean state. What's going to give me the biggest bang for my buck in that time period?

Due to a horrible confluence of deadlines, health issues, and general laziness, my house has become ridiculously messy. Think of a house where no laundry is ever folded but only goes to live in the clean laundry pile on the closet floor; where no cabinet nor shelf is orderly; no mail sorted; no object in its place; with school papers everywhere. This is my house.

Typically in a serious cleaning effort I focus on the kitchen and bathrooms and get them sparkling clean. As a result, none of those rooms is going to take much work! But as a result, none of the other rooms ever gets much better. So I need help coming up with a strategy to bring up the general cleanliness level of the whole house to make future maintenance-level cleaning feasible and sufficient.

So! Given eight hours to clean, what would you focus on for the absolute biggest feeling of accomplishment? How would you divide up that time? A room an hour? Sweep the whole house for one criterion at a time? How would you apportion breaks and so on?

Most especially, how do you not get sucked down the rabbit hole of "I need to put these bins in the attic so first I need to fill them up so first I need to weed out all of the too-small clothes to give away, oh wait I can't do that until I get Kid A to try this on, I'll put it in a pile here that will be buried in two hours." Or the office version, "Right I just need to clean off my desk, OK these papers need to be filed, which means I need to make a new folder, wait, where did I put my label-maker..." This is a thing I do, and it means I can spend ages and only barely touch the vastness of what needs done because I'm stuck on one pile of clothes, or one pile of laundry.

Please note that I am not asking for how to form habits and routines. FlyLady and UFYH are not what I am looking for right now.
posted by Andrhia to Home & Garden (32 answers total) 61 users marked this as a favorite
 
I might start with this strategy and just expand it exponentially to include 8 hours?
posted by janey47 at 4:56 PM on November 10, 2014


Best answer: Wow, do we live together? If so, you're the quietest roommate.

I'm not the most successful de-clutterer, but I view it as two major steps: step 1: get things out of the way of living my life. this means bagging clothes for later sorting, washing the dishes, stowing items in the piles of crap on the floor, anything physically preventing the kitchen appliances from being used (i.e. flammable stuff resting on the stovetop) and doing a very cursory stay-or-go attack on the clothes pile. I do about 20 minutes major area, and then I move on because my patience for that particular pile of clutter is gone by then.

Step 2 is applying labor to remove dirt/filth. Now that you can see the floor, it's time to vacuum that sucka. You've removed all the misc accumulation on the stovetop, so scrub it (re-foil the reflectors-- it's the easiest and most rewarding cleanup job in all the entire kitchen). Sink empty of dishes, scrub that. (Unless your oven is a shitshow of burnt-on crap, save that for another day, IMO.) Disinfect the countertop, now that it's not covered with misc bottles, papers, old mail. Prioritize by frequency of use-- stovetop before bread machine or blender.

By the time you've done all your trouble-piles once, and maybe gone back to a few, you'll have a good idea in your head of the deeper solution:: sort into storage bins, maybe, or sort out the unwearable clothes (I concentrate on holed, irredeemably dirty, or otherwise offensive to the eye or appropriate body part).

This whole time, you can process your active clothes in laundry, you can do dishes in a dishwasher if applicable.

For detail work, like filing, do what everyone does: pile shit in an inbox and work it when time allows-- nobody does all their filing at once without making it the entire job (or hire a paid intern).

After that, the important part: forgive yourself for not being perfect and not getting it all done and having to do it in the first place. Face it, you value your time, and don't value cleanliness like the world tells you do. Since you haven't caught diphtheria from your own bathroom, chances are you're doing a good-enough job, and it's good to aspire to better, but aspiration doesn't put food on the table, so accept that cleanliness is not your strong suit.
posted by Sunburnt at 5:00 PM on November 10, 2014 [3 favorites]


First start with messiness: Everything that is misplaced in the room goes into piles, but is not dealt with yet. One huge pile is trash/recycling/donating (that can separate piles, obviously). It should be big. It shouldn't be second guessed. If you're not sure, it goes in that pile.

Then, stuff that needs to leave the room goes in one pile. Do not take it to the other room, just put it in one place.

Clean clothes go in one pile, dirty clothes go in another pile. Everything that goes on that one bookshelf goes in one pile (if it's really bad just take everything off it and start from scratch). All paperwork goes in one pile. Etc. Go through the whole house and do that much, just sorting everything. If you need other family members' input on things (like trying on) that all goes in a pile per person.

Then, everything that was in the wrong room gets sorted into the right room and into that room's piles.

Only then do you actually start putting stuff away. Again this is not the time for filing and whatnot -- stuff that can stay in a neat "to be filed" pile stays there. Clothes get hung up. Put things back on the shelves. You can do laundry throughout the whole process. Kids stuff gets put away. Stuff that needs other family members' input all happens at once.

Once you've done most of the putting away you can get started on the actual cleaning (as opposed to tidying -- vacuum, clean surfaces, etc.). Only then do you start on anything that requires more work -- work on that pile of stuff to be filed in front of the TV. Put the bins up in the attic now that they're all done.

The trick is to not get stuck. If any individual thing is going to take you more than 30 seconds to deal with, it needs to go in a "to deal with later" pile. Get to everything once before you start spending more time on anything in particular. Every area should hit "good enough" not "perfect" status on the first pass, and then getting to perfect gets easier when you have a little time.
posted by brainmouse at 5:01 PM on November 10, 2014 [3 favorites]


My thought is to get a bunch of standardized boxes (like these), or depending on the age of your children and the state of your recycling, diaper boxes.

As your cleaning and encounter something that needs an action (filing, shredding, trying on, mending, etc), label a box (I'd go with a big piece of paper scotch taped on the front) and throw it in.

Then you can stack the boxes out of the way while you do the rest of the cleaning. If/when you have time you can process each box. This should be more efficient too bc you'll be doing all the labeling/filing at once, all the trying on, etc.
posted by pennypiper at 5:06 PM on November 10, 2014 [1 favorite]


I always start cleaning binges by dragging a large black trash bag with me from room to room, throwing out things that are trash. You'd be surprised how much STUFF that you've accumulated is actually just trash masquerading as stuff. If you so choose, you can also also have a separate bag for things you can instantly determine need to go in the donate pile.

Once the trash/donatable stuff is out of the way, I find it much less daunting to start the organizing phase.

I often find myself doing a lot of running around during the organizing phase, so I think it's important to put things in piles as a first step. "This pile is stuff that goes in the kitchen, this is the pile for the bathroom" etc., so that you're not making more trips than necessary from room to room.
posted by Gonestarfishing at 5:07 PM on November 10, 2014 [7 favorites]


The first places to clean are the places where other jobs get done.

(I know you said you didn't want FlyLady type advice, but there's a reason FlyLady starts with cleaning out your sink: if your sink is cluttered up, or the counter next to it is, then stuff like washing dishes or cleaning out the fridge gets way more frustrating.)
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:09 PM on November 10, 2014


OH, and one more thing - listen to a few podcasts as you clean to make the experience a little more enjoyable. For me at least, having the TV on is a nonstarter because inevitably I'll need to sit down and watch the action to understand what's happening in the show. I find that podcasts are engaging enough that I kinda go into cleaning autopilot zen mode and maybe don't freak out as much about decisions, but not so engaging that I'm distracted from cleaning.

If you have a problem with running around from room to room, having an interesting podcast running on a stationary device in the room you're working on will help keep you from running to the kitchen to put one fork in the sink, only to come back and realize there are also 8 plates and a cup that should have gone to the kitchen.
posted by Gonestarfishing at 5:15 PM on November 10, 2014 [2 favorites]


Take everything out of your closets and make each item prove its worth before you put it back in. Get rid of all items that didn't make the cut. Having tidy closets will make it easier for you to put away stuff in the future because there will be room for it. By the end of this, you should have a large bag of trash, recycling, and giveaway.
posted by oxisos at 5:21 PM on November 10, 2014


I like to start by putting away all the things that I know quickly and easily where they go. That leaves fewer things to sort and figure out later. So in your example, first put away clothes you know where they go (and are sure they should go), completely ignoring the ones that are too small or belong in a dresser which is already stuffed full. Only once you've done the rounds of easily put away things do you come back to harder ones. (And then decide whether that or sweeping/scrubbing and all is the next priority.) When you start sweeping and scrubbing, start with anything that actually bugs you to look at or you recall makes you feel better when clean.
posted by Margalo Epps at 5:23 PM on November 10, 2014 [1 favorite]


Best answer: I prioritize by hitting the things with the biggest impact first.

Overall the priority goes from:

Decluttering higher priority than cleaning (dirty, organized house looks better than clean, cluttered house)

Gross stuff higher priority than less gross stuff (toilets, showers higher priority than floors)

High stuff higher priority than low stuff (areas in eye line higher priority than say stain on carpet)

Quick clean higher priority than deep clean (getting floors swept higher priority than getting floors mopped)

Outside higher priority than inside (visible areas - counters, bookcases, etc - is higher priority than insides of closets, drawers, files etc)

More specifically, here's how the priorities would go for me:

1. De-clutter / Put Away (1 hour) - Put on a podcast. Throw away as much as possible. Get out a big box for donations. Dump stuff in there. The way I put away is like this, for example:

Bunch of shit on kitchen table. I attack that pile - put dishes away in cupboards, throw trash away in trash. Being near the trash brings me closer to the counter where I see a new pile of clutter. I put away all the kitchen-related items in that pile. But it also contains a book, which I want by my bedside. So I go into the bedroom to place the book on my bedside table. That's where I see a pile of clothes. I put away the clothes. The pile of clothes also contains a coat, which I walk to the hall closet to put away. The hallway contains a pile on the table of stuff that needs to go in the study...

Basically, I allow the different piles of crap to take me on a constantly moving tour of the apartment. This maximizes my efficiency and lessens my annoyance by:

a. I'm never making a purposeless trip. If I were decluttering room by room, I'd need to keep exiting the room to put other-room stuff away. But this way, I'm always transporting something to be put away.

b. It keeps things interesting - I'm not stuck in one room for half an hour.

2. Surfaces - Quick Clean (0.5 hr) - Wipe down all easy surfaces (mirrors, tables, dust visible areas of bookcases, kitchen counters)

3. Gross Things (0.5 hr) - Clean toilet. Scrub kitchen sink. Take out trash. Wipe Trash can.

4. Floors (0.5 hr) - Quick Clean - Vacuum and sweep

5. Surfaces (1 hr) - Deep Clean - Grimy grout, Yucky shower.

6. Floors (0.5 hr) - Deep clean - Spot clean carpets; Mop kitchen floor, hardwood floor

7. Details (1 hr - infinity) - Any terribly fiddly details you've missed go here. I put here: dusting baseboards, dusting blinds, filing things, detailed organization, cleaning inside of microwave, cleaning insides of things in general (bathroom cabinet, organizing closets, cupboards, etc)
posted by Uncle Glendinning at 5:29 PM on November 10, 2014 [12 favorites]


I would: take the eight hours and spend four of them working to buy pizza and beer or brewing beer and making pizza or whatever, and then bribing a good friend to come over for four hours and do it with me in exchange for pizza and beer. Because other people are ruthless with mess that is not their own, and it's really, really helpful. The other person will make you stay on task (because what sort of jerk would get busy with another project when their friend was over to help clean) and make you feel just the right amount of stupid about your hoarding, and lots will get bundled off to the charity shop.
posted by kmennie at 5:38 PM on November 10, 2014 [9 favorites]


Hmm, I've used the Pomodoro Technique in a similar situation and got way more done than I would have otherwise. You can download the timer onto a computer or smartphone if that would help or just set a kitchen timer. Good luck! I hate housecleaning.
posted by Snazzy67 at 5:57 PM on November 10, 2014 [2 favorites]


If this were my house, I would grab a large trash bag and put it in a central place/on the pathway to the door by which the trash leaves. Then I would take a smaller bag into each room, designate one random spot as 12 o'clock, and work around the room in a complete circle from that point putting trash in the bag. Small bag of trash to big bag. Rinse and repeat for each room. Then take the big trash bag out to the trash.

Next, take a big bag and go from room to room picking up things to be donated. Small bags labeled with "For [smaller child who gets your kid's outgrowns]" and other relevant reminders are fine. Then stow the bag where you're likely to deal with it. For me? That's my car.

Toss dirty clothing in a basket. Take dirty laundry to wherever it needs to go next: laundry area, carrier, etc.

Clean the largest flat surface in each room: Make the bed. Clear the table. These are going to be your temporary crap catchers -- if you can use boxes/piles for fix/put away/file/goes to another room, all the better.

Now, pick everything you can up off the floor and vacuum/sweep.

Go back and gather the piles of to fix/to file, and stow these collections somewhere.

Gather the things that go in other rooms and put them in a box/bag that you can carry.

Go through each room and put away the things that go in each room. Grab the put away box and walk through your space, returning objects to specific places in each room.

What I find is that if I have a general plan, and specific steps, I am less likely to get bogged down in "I have to fix this thing right now!" or "Hey, I found that toy piece that kid was looking for last week; now where'd I put that toy..." Rotating from room to room also keeps me from sinking into fractal mess.

Good luck!

P.S. Wear a pedometer if you have one -- there's something satisfying and motivating about seeing that number go up.
posted by MonkeyToes at 6:02 PM on November 10, 2014 [1 favorite]


Don't do eight straight hours of cleaning. You will make yourself miserable.

Give yourself one hour in one room each day. Work on one room until it's done. Within the room, focus on one area at a time -- first clear the desk, then clear the couch, then the shelves, then vacuum, dust, and straighten up. Put on some good music while you clean.

If you must do marathon cleaning, at least take breaks every hour. Go outside or sit around and do something mindless for half an hour.
posted by chickenmagazine at 6:15 PM on November 10, 2014 [1 favorite]


If there's anything you've been avoiding because it's too dusty/cobwebby/blech, hit it with a Swiffer duster first. It's fast, and to me it makes a big difference to how gross it feels to be dealing with some of that old paperwork or whatever. Plus I don't get a face full of dust, so less runny nose and other yuck.

Then, my approach would be similar to MonkeyToes'. You'll go room-to-room in three passes, with a trash bag, a donate bag, and a laundry basket that will be your "displaced items" box (to collect stuff that's in the wrong room). Plus swiffer duster and maybe a water bottle for yourself.

First pass - Find all the floors
Pick up trash, and collect all "keep" stuff off the floor/chair backs/etc into a central location (coffeetable, made bed). Throw anything that goes in another room into your laundry basket that you'll carry with you to the next room. Depending on how things look, you might vacuum the carpets/sweep at this point if they seem bad... you don't want "oh no, look at the floor", you want "hey, I can see the floor, progress!"

Second pass - Put everything away
Take all the displaced stuff to its correct room, dropping it in with the rest of the stuff for that room. Then put stuff away in the rooms. (If you have extra stuff, think about your storage needs, and whether you could get rid of some/a lot of the extra stuff.) Paperwork filing, or other very time-intensive/rabbit-hole tasks, go last. If you need to, just put the paperwork in its own box rather than lose your cleaning momentum.

Third pass - Clean the surfaces

And yeah, obviously take breaks, break things up by room or by pass. But I bet a lot of this will go fast once you get rolling.
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:19 PM on November 10, 2014


brainmouse: "Only then do you actually start putting stuff away. Again this is not the time for filing and whatnot -- stuff that can stay in a neat "to be filed" pile stays there. Clothes get hung up. Put things back on the shelves. You can do laundry throughout the whole process. Kids stuff gets put away. Stuff that needs other family members' input all happens at once."

There's an underlying principle here that makes cleaning a lot easier from my perspective, which is that part of your initial sweep should be to make it so you can group similar tasks together in batches. Initially this looks remarkably like achieving nothing, since e.g. if you pick up all the mail around your house and put it in a pile it's still not finished per se, but the idea is that when you get around to dealing with the mail you will incur a much smaller marginal cost in dealing with each piece (both because you can get into the flow of it and because you don't have to do stuff like cross the room with each new thing you find) than you would if you went from zero to dealt-with individually for each item as you came across it.
posted by invitapriore at 6:20 PM on November 10, 2014 [2 favorites]


I feel like my house is clean when the floors are clean. So when the place is super cluttered the first thing I do is pick everything up off the floor and either place it on the kitchen table or on the bed. Then I sweep or vacuum. After that it's just a matter of distributing the relevant clutter back to the room it's supposed to be in. Then I take a break for an hour or so. Next I may start putting the clutter away in the relevant rooms, starting with the shared spaces first. If I don't get to bedroom clutter today, no worries, as long as the kitchen table is clear. If you've got kids or a spouse, enlist them in cleaning up the bedrooms and/or the laundry.
posted by vignettist at 6:30 PM on November 10, 2014


I am an advocate of the very brutal trash run. I know that my house is cluttered largely because I have too much crap - crap that I must not care much about because I leave it strewn about - and the best way to deal with it is to get rid of the crap I truly do not love and need. The more crap you get out of your house, the more possible it is to organize the shelves and hang the clothes* and actually vacuum and get most of the floor clean.

*Hang your stuff up straight out of the dryer. This is the #1 way to make your life less cluttered with basically no additional effort. Throw out things you keep coming across but do not wear.

I also like a clean floor. And I have dogs who will intervene if there's a bunch of crap on the floor. So I say do a major trash run, including all the stuff you're saving for a later that belongs to the person you'd like to be but not the person you are, and then get the floors clean, and then sweep/mop/vacuum.
posted by Lyn Never at 6:36 PM on November 10, 2014 [1 favorite]


One secret that works for me is to keep switching rooms. Try to stay in touch with that part of yourself that can tell what will make the most difference in this room in a short period of time.

A good head game to play is to think "oh shoot, my [in laws / date / bookclub] will arrive in 45 minutes! I'd better..." ...quickly scoop all these dirty clothes into a hamper. And take out this disgusting trash! Etc. If you give yourself a certain amount of time to get the house as presentable as possible, it leads to really effective cleaning where you naturally choose the things that make a big difference in 45 seconds (like make the bed), remove the most disgusting things (like the stinky trash), hit economies of scale (walk from room to room bringing all the dishes into the kitchen), and get things tidy (stack up all the papers) without being overly thorough (readng and filing all the papers).
posted by salvia at 6:46 PM on November 10, 2014 [1 favorite]


I too find myself able to do kitchen and bathroom deep cleans, while laundry and living room can take literally 8 times the mental energy to do half the work. I think it's because I have a couple of cleaning subroutines that I know well enough that I can quickly find my way back to the routine, even if I get distracted in the middle. And I have a couple of those subroutines per room - for example, in the kitchen, my subroutines are things like "dishes" and "floor" and "stove," where dishes consists of the following tasks in sequential order: "put clean dishes away, collect dirty dishes from all rooms in sink or dishwasher, start dishwasher, wash dishes in sink, wash pans, dry pans and put away, wipe down sink." I know these subroutines so well that it's easy for me to stop in the middle when I get a text or something, and quickly remember where I was in the routine when it's time to get back to work.

With that in mind, I have drafted out routines for bedroom and living room that have helped me enormously. I literally write it down so that I can pick it up and look at it if I get distracted or sad in the middle. I've included some sample subroutines below.

Basically, if you don't like cleaning and struggle with following the cleaning routine in your brain, you need to institute an external brain by way of a detailed list.

Sample Bedroom Routine
Shoes: clear any debris off the shoe rack, find shoes throughout every room in the house and put them in front of the rack, put all the shoes on the rack, find any shoes that don't have their partner or make a mental note that it's missing.
Clothes: clear everything off the bed, then make the bed (even if all you to is spread a blanket out. Get two trash bags (one for donate/trash clothes, one for dry clean/mend/iron clothes), (if hamper is full, start a load of laundry or get another trash bag), put anything I already know is dirty into the hamper, put any clothes I know are clean on the bed, collect all the clothes from all of the rooms. I often get stuck at this point, with my clothing mountain on my bed, so I've narrowed it down to starting JUST with socks. Basically, I put all of the socks in a pile and all of the underwear in a pile, and that is a thing that seems both easy and happy. I keep the socks out throughout the rest of the folding and get to see the pile grow throughout the whole process. Once I've done a first pass on socks, I start to fold the shirts and tank tops and gym clothes, then the pants. If anything belongs in trash or mend bags, put it there instead. Finally, I put everything in it's drawer or cupboard in reverse order: first pants, then shirts/tanks/gym clothes, then finally that oh-so-satisfying sock and underwear mountain.
Dresser top/jewelry: etc etc
posted by samthemander at 6:49 PM on November 10, 2014


I've never used UFYH for a routine. I just like the app version (known as Unfilth Your Habitat) because it times you and gives you specific things to do.

I have the same sorts of problems. The best thing for me is to do one type of thing at a time. Sometimes I need a checklist to do it.

I think you probably need to give yourself a particular reason or goal. Do you want your public areas to be nice enough to have someone over? Clean the living room, entryway and public bathroom (and maybe the kitchen). Cleaning to make your own mind a little lighter? Do your bedroom, your bathroom and wherever you like to hang out.

Go through your area(s) of choice and just hit everything in layers:
Papers -- toss the stuff that can immediately be tossed; set the other stuff aside and DON'T GO THROUGH IT RIGHT NOW.
Laundry -- just get it all in the baskets and stuff.
Books and media -- get them in or next to their Homes.
Cluttery clothes and accessories -- just put them as close to their Homes as you can.
Straightening: fold blankets, make beds, put the pillows back on the couch, etc.
Cleaning: wipe down the obvious grody spots, like bathroom counters, etc.
posted by Madamina at 7:32 PM on November 10, 2014


I'd think of what you need to accomplish as de-cluttering rather than cleaning. Cleaning is like, scrubbing filth. You don't have filth. You have too much stuff out of place.

Go room by room. Start with the task of getting everything off the floor. Then get everything off of surfaces (chair seats, table tops, hanging off doorknobs, etc). Then make beds and vacuum floors.

The clean laundry pile: Easy. Throw it into the dryer for 10 minutes to release wrinkles, then fold it, put it into drawers and closets.

Your papers and mail: Sit down on your clean floor and sort into piles (things to throw into recycling, things that need more immediate attention, things to file away). Get some folders and put the piles inside. Then put the folders in a drawer to be further dealt with on another day (or at the end of tomorrow if you have time). Just turn the messy piles into sorted-and-contained-in-folders piles.

Random stuff: You need three garbage bags. One is straight up garbage to be tossed. The next is a donate bag for stuff you no longer want, but that somebody else might. The third is "I want to do something with this but I don't know what at the moment". These bags are like your folders. Just sort the stuff. Put the garbage bag out with the garbage. Put the donation bag next to the door. Put the third bag under a bed, in a closet, etc. to be dealt with another day (or at the end of tomorrow if you have time).

Cabinets: Save organizing these for last. The stuff in your cabinets is not a priority because it is hidden away. You need to declutter the out-in-the-open spaces first. If you have time, work on the cabinets.

It is so important to declutter. It makes your brain work better. It makes you love your home again. When we walk into a room and our brain is trying to process clutter it takes a mental toll, especially if that clutter represents stressful issues (like unpaid bills that remind you of budget issues, jeans that you try on but throw on the floor again because they are too tight and remind you of weight you've gained, etc.) Put the stuff back in its rightful spot, then go deeper into actual cleaning (dusting, scrubbing, etc) if you have time. Tomorrow is the day for quickly putting away things that live in a specific spot, throwing away the trash, putting donations into a donate bag, and ear-marking a bag of question-mark stuff which you can isolate from everything else.
posted by RingerChopChop at 7:33 PM on November 10, 2014


Best answer: Stock up on black bin bags and white bin bags.

Choose a room to start. Bring your bin bags and a big, empty container (box, basket) and a glass of water (hydration will stop some of the exhaustion). Set an alarm for 45 minutes. Put on a podcast. Pick up a thing from the floor or a surface and ask yourself 'trash, recycle, defer?'. If it is trash, it goes in the black bag, if it is recycling it goes in the white bag, if it is to be kept it goes in the container. Repeat for all the things.

When the timer goes off, take the trash out (recycling too if that is collected, otherwise pile it up by the door to take to the recycling place later in the day). Come back, make a cup of tea and reset the timer. Once the room is clear, and only IF you have energy, you can sweep the floors and wipe down the surfaces. Save the organising of the stuff in the deferral box for another day.

So, yeah, basically what everyone else says, decluttering is the best bang for your buck wrt housework. I just find its helpful to have a plan with priorities. Declutter is top priority, cleaning is mid priority, organising is low priority; even if you end up with 8 containers of stuff to sort, you should not deviate from the plan and start sorting them. At no point should you touch your label maker.
posted by dumdidumdum at 4:09 AM on November 11, 2014 [2 favorites]


I would identify the biggest problem with each room, and spend half an hour dealing with it, and just cycle through the house. On your first pass, that might be laundry, piles of mail (sort into trash, my problem, somebody else's problem), a layer of clutter on every horizontal surface in the living room; but in rooms like the dining room, one quick pass and it's tidy, so the biggest remaining problem quickly becomes the broken chair, but don't deal with that now, that's only if you have time to come back to it. Do try to spend at least one half hour block in every room; if I didn't have that rule my stairs/hall/entryway would be so covered in cat fur that the stairs would be a ramp, because the bedroom, kitchen, and living room would take all my energy.
It doesn't have to be exactly a half hour, but the point of changing tasks is to keep you from getting sucked in too deep - the goal is not to take care of the mail, the goal is to see the countertop again. Actually sorting the mail is important but that's the put your feet up and deal with it after dinner instead of watching TV kind of job, not the spend a vacation day improving my life kind of job.
posted by aimedwander at 5:34 AM on November 11, 2014


Best answer: have a plan with priorities. Declutter is top priority, cleaning is mid priority, organising is low priority

YES.
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:37 AM on November 11, 2014 [1 favorite]


Always start with just getting rid of the uncomplicated rubbish first. Random bits of paper, receipts, you know what I mean. You'll need lots of rubbish bags for this in all the rooms. After that take all dirty dishes and other things like that to the kitchen and leave them there. Find a place to put piles of clothes and linen (separate piles for both and separate piles again for dirty and clean).

Start with that. Don't overwhelm yourself with thoughts of cleaning walls and floors or even wiping down benches and dusting and vacuuming. That can wait.
posted by h00py at 5:40 AM on November 11, 2014


Step one is to get containers/bins/baskets and put like items together to get them out of your way. So mail in one, dirty clothing in another, clean clothing, trash bags for trash, and a bin for Other crap. This would be things like the baby shower gift you need to wrap, Jewelry you took off in the living room, shoes, etc. The idea is not to get caught up in anything except sorting and getting out of your way. Even use bins for your bathrooms and kitchen. Get every surface clear.

Then clean top to bottom. Spray anything that might need to sit with cleaner on it first. Tub/shower/counters/oven. Dust and make beds while your cleaners clean. Once the beds are made you can put the bins on the beds.

Tackle the fixtures in the kitchen and bath, you shouldn't have to scrub too hard, since the cleaners have penetrated and loosened the crud.

Lastly, do the floors.

Then shower and put on fresh clothing.

If you have bin of dirty dishes, do those in your nice clean kitchen. Dry them and put them away.

Sit with the TV on and fold up your clean laundry. Then sort through your mail, keeping a trash can for garbage, a basket for things to pay and a shredder for anything that should be shredded. See what you can have come to you on-line (bills) so you don't have so much paper.

After that's done, take the bin with stuff from your counters and wipe it down with a Clorox/Lysol cloth and put it away. Ditto your bathroom stuff. Ditto your coffee table stuff.

I find it helps to have cleaning music on. My favorite cleaning music is Ella Fitzgerald Sings the Cole Porter Songbook. The People's Court, Maury and Dr. Phil can be good too. Lots of talking, but no real need to see what's going on.

I'd love to help! These projects can be such fun!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 7:42 AM on November 11, 2014


Take a quick walk around. Look at stuff. Go somewhere already clean (your bathroom? A cafe for breakfast?) and plan: how will you achieve "a place for everything". This is a necessary precursor to "everything in its place".

Need some folders made? Need a bin to stack stuff for your kids to try on? Make "a place for everything" in 30 minutes.

Then focus on giving yourself a feeling of spaciousness. That will help you solve more difficult problems.
posted by amtho at 7:47 AM on November 11, 2014


My apartment periodically (read as: every couple of months) gets like this. Here's how I deal with it:

Phase 1: Put everything into the room it belongs in (or will be cleaned in, in the case of laundry). All papers from every room go in one location; in my case I use the living room coffee table.

Phase 2: Start with the bathroom and kitchen. They're always the dirtiest, and if I need a snack or bathroom break during the rest of my cleaning process it's nice to be able to retreat to a room that's already done. I also consider the litter box part of this phase since it's a dirty thing I don't want to deal with during a later phase.

Phase 3: Laundry. I sort everything into the colors/loads it will require, set the washer/dryer to chime, and after that laundry is on auto-pilot. Hear a chime, go back and move things from washer to dryer, or from dryer to bed (my holding place for clean laundry). The first load always includes sheets/blankets so the first load can be partially "put away" by just making the bed.

Phase 4: Papers. I sort everything into two piles: Recycling and look-again. Then, I look again and deal with any and all letters, bills, etcetera. It's a nice sit-down break between active-cleaning phases, which is why I put it in the middle.

Phase 5: The neatening. I typically do my bedroom first, then the living room. I bring a recycling and trash bag in with me and put everything back in its proper place. If the laundry is done, I fold it and put it away first. The living room is next. While I'm at it, I try to clean top to bottom, sweeping dust and whatnot onto the floor as I go.

Phase 6: Vacuum like my life depends on it. If I've neatened properly, I should have to do absolutely nothing to prep for vacuuming. I have a cat, so I do the furniture with the pet hair attachment first, then go to the floor.

Phase 8: I shower. When I clean a lot, I feel like half the dirt gets on me, because I go like a madman the whole time, and I get sweaty and generally feel gross afterward. So I shower, put on some nice clothes, and just enjoy looking around my wonderfully clean apartment.

Phase 9: I order takeout or go out to eat. Because I am NOT going to make more dirty dishes today.

My apartment only has a kitchen/laundry room, bathroom, living room, and bedroom, so I'm sure this strategy would change somewhat if it was larger and/or multi-level. For me, no matter how awful the place is, it rarely takes me longer than four hours to do all this.
posted by Urban Winter at 8:39 AM on November 11, 2014 [1 favorite]


Closet/clothes: Nothing gets folded because folding is a huge pain in the arse. Try hangers and bins.

First triage, ideally you'll use laundry baskets or something for this so you can move things around, if you're really in a bind you can just make piles. Sort by type of thing, my groups are: Pants, shirts, skirts, dresses, other outerwear, underpants, socks, bras, other underwear...just based on what you have enough of to make a pile.

I like open-ended pants hangers because it takes 10 seconds to put pants on them and 2 seconds to take them off (I have this exact one, they're a little expensive but they don't tip over too much)...pants take up probably the most room ever when folded so getting the whole mess onto hangers leaves a lot more room for everything else.

For underwear, you can use bins or drawers, as long as there are dividers that are the right size. Dividers need to be big enough spaces that you don't have to think when sorting and small enough spaces that you can actually find the thing you need. Personally, I use two of the XL Rubbermaid bento bins, which gives me 8 divisions that are 6"x6"x8" tall and 2 divisions that are 6"x12"x8" tall (I have a lot of underthings). I started just putting in my major groups (underpants, bras, sports bras, etc.). Then when I had too much in any one section, I pulled it all out and broke it into two logical groupings (for example dark underpants vs light underpants, and racer back vs straight back sports bras). Underwire bras go into one of the big bins because of how they're shaped, the other big bin is a place for things that have no other home...lonely socks or odd items that I only have one of. Start by putting your socks in without pairing them (unless you already have them paired), then when you have everything else put away pull the socks out again and pair them--you'll have more space and it'll be more manageable to work with a small pile. Tie them together for trouser/boots socks and roll into balls for ankle socks. I don't really "organize" anything except the underwire bras, just pile in underpants and paired socks. It makes putting everything away really fast (NO FOLDING), when getting things out mostly I don't care about a specific item just a general category so the thing on top works fine, or if I do need a specific item I only have a small area to search. Who cares if my underpants have some wrinkles?
posted by anaelith at 9:39 AM on November 11, 2014


Response by poster: Man you people were *seriously* underestimating the level of squalor I'm dealing with.

I took your ideas about decluttering to heart as the biggest bang for buck. So I started off decluttering in my bedroom, clearing off some surfaces by way of putting stuff in bags for the office and bathroom to deal with (ZOMG so many nail polishes on my night table.) And then I wiped away the dust! And cleared out under my bedroom furniture! And put my shoes neatly under my bed!

But I realized that my biggest quality of life problem is... laundry. Tooooo many clothes that don't even fit anybody. So after that I just dealt with laundry all day, mostly the stuff in bins in the hall and the stuff in the clean pile, with a few loads of fresh washing thrown in. The upshot is one garbage bag of stuff to be thrown away; three bags of outgrown clothes to be donated; five big plastic bins of unseasonal or not-yet-fitting clothes weeded out and tossed up in the attic; and about six big baskets of laundry folded and put away. (This was... not all of it, either. Sigh.)

It wasn't the overall house sprucing-up I was imagining, but it is probably the one that will result in the most immediate quality of life improvement, inasmuch as I'll feel better about life when I wake up first thing and don't see piles and piles of papers on my night table, and now the kids have absolutely no excuse for not being able to find clothes in the morning.

Thank youuuu!
posted by Andrhia at 4:26 PM on November 11, 2014 [5 favorites]


Like someone above mentioned - I like to play a game where I think "What if people were coming over in 1 hour" and instantly my mind knows which are the worst areas that need to be cleaned ASAP. Once those are clean, play the game again...people are coming in one hour! Your brain will again know what needs to be done and prioritize it without you really having to think at all. Play the game til your house is as clean as you'd like it to be!
posted by thegoldfish at 8:57 PM on November 15, 2014 [1 favorite]


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