Wedding gift for children in new blended family?
October 28, 2014 11:55 AM
My son is creating a new little family and grandma wants to give a small, sentimental gift to the children to help them remember and celebrate the day.
My oldest son is getting married on Saturday. The ceremony will be strongly geared toward blending the two families of her 3-year-old twin boys and his 7-year-old daughter. The kids are participating in the ceremony and will have "I do" questions to answer, along with the adults. We are thrilled to have two very verbal, active, sweet new grandsons. I would like to give all three kids some little gift that hopefully will reinforce their memory of the day their new family was created.
Can you give me some ideas of what to give? I don't have a lot of time left and would like to come up with something that I could use to pull each child aside and give them a quick, heartfelt, meaningful little speech while giving them the gift.
My oldest son is getting married on Saturday. The ceremony will be strongly geared toward blending the two families of her 3-year-old twin boys and his 7-year-old daughter. The kids are participating in the ceremony and will have "I do" questions to answer, along with the adults. We are thrilled to have two very verbal, active, sweet new grandsons. I would like to give all three kids some little gift that hopefully will reinforce their memory of the day their new family was created.
Can you give me some ideas of what to give? I don't have a lot of time left and would like to come up with something that I could use to pull each child aside and give them a quick, heartfelt, meaningful little speech while giving them the gift.
Well, with the caveat that what to you will be sentimental and heartfelt to you will be not resonate that way with them right now, I would be inclined to get them three books of classic fairy tales.
posted by DarlingBri at 12:31 PM on October 28, 2014
posted by DarlingBri at 12:31 PM on October 28, 2014
Three year old boys aren't too sentimental but you could give them a keepsake and with a little toy attached (it will also keep them busy). Or maybe a nice book with a heartfelt inscription.
A seven year old girl is easier - I'd say pretty pendant- maybe engraved.
posted by beccaj at 12:38 PM on October 28, 2014
A seven year old girl is easier - I'd say pretty pendant- maybe engraved.
posted by beccaj at 12:38 PM on October 28, 2014
For the girl I am all about birthstone rings/pendants, that mark the new family for HER (as wedding rings do for the adults)!
Three-year-old boys are tough, I think you will probably have to do something + a toy. Engraved picture frames with pictures of the family in them? Or something your son has always really liked, to share with them? Like ... if he barbecues, maybe little chef aprons with their names and kid-sized barbecue tools? Or if he has dogs, stuffed dogs with collars with an engraved keepsake tag?
Actually, I like the idea of a stuffed animal of some sort, with an engraved keepsake tag that can be "dogtag" style which boys can wear later if they want, or keep safely tucked in a drawer if not, with the family names and the date, with a birthstone pendant for the daughter.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 12:45 PM on October 28, 2014
Three-year-old boys are tough, I think you will probably have to do something + a toy. Engraved picture frames with pictures of the family in them? Or something your son has always really liked, to share with them? Like ... if he barbecues, maybe little chef aprons with their names and kid-sized barbecue tools? Or if he has dogs, stuffed dogs with collars with an engraved keepsake tag?
Actually, I like the idea of a stuffed animal of some sort, with an engraved keepsake tag that can be "dogtag" style which boys can wear later if they want, or keep safely tucked in a drawer if not, with the family names and the date, with a birthstone pendant for the daughter.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 12:45 PM on October 28, 2014
Bracelets with their names? Or an endless knot rope bracelet? Whatever it is will need to expand as they grow.
posted by ottereroticist at 12:49 PM on October 28, 2014
posted by ottereroticist at 12:49 PM on October 28, 2014
I really like the idea of a special stuffed animal (maybe each one unique but tied to some common theme?). I still have some special stuffed animals/dolls from my grandmother and an aunt that I keep around and plan to pass down to my kids. Obviously you can't guarantee that this will happen! But, I think kids CAN definitely have an emotional connection to stuffed animals at a young age, and it will probably hold more appeal for 3-year-olds than would a more 'adult' sentimental object (picture, pendant, etc.).
posted by rainbowbrite at 12:56 PM on October 28, 2014
posted by rainbowbrite at 12:56 PM on October 28, 2014
I love the idea of a pendant for the little girl with the date of the wedding. For the boys a special book is nice too. I also am thinking that a special "grandparent" event for the kids as a welcome gift? Like my grandparents would take my cousin and I to a special event like a play or the Ice Capades or something like that and then have a sleep over once a year. It didn't have to be a big deal, we saw a lot of high school productions, or even just spent the evening baking cookies together, but it was a cool special time for us as the big cousins in the family. So you could present a card with a date proposed for a special day together?
posted by goggie at 12:56 PM on October 28, 2014
posted by goggie at 12:56 PM on October 28, 2014
3 year old boys = Hot Wheels, Trains. Maybe get them each a toy and then write a letter to them for them to read when they are all grown up.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:16 PM on October 28, 2014
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:16 PM on October 28, 2014
I would not get them a toy or a stuffed animal. I'd get something that will last and be re-purposed as adults. Nor would i get something different based on gender, because I think that's not cool, and also because the gender lines are also the family lines (boys from one parent, girl from another), so I'd want to a uniform gift for all the children -- something they each have that makes them feel like a team.
When I was a kid, I loved having something kind of grown up but just for me, and in particular, I have a place-setting of china my mother's best friend bought for me when I was three that I loved.
Maybe an little chalice or goblet engraved with the date of the occasion that can be used on anniversaries every year to re-enforce the creation of the new family annually? You might put a small toy inside each one, too. I think the little goblet would have a kind of superhero accessory feel to them, and is something that they might keep forever.
posted by girlpublisher at 1:53 PM on October 28, 2014
When I was a kid, I loved having something kind of grown up but just for me, and in particular, I have a place-setting of china my mother's best friend bought for me when I was three that I loved.
Maybe an little chalice or goblet engraved with the date of the occasion that can be used on anniversaries every year to re-enforce the creation of the new family annually? You might put a small toy inside each one, too. I think the little goblet would have a kind of superhero accessory feel to them, and is something that they might keep forever.
posted by girlpublisher at 1:53 PM on October 28, 2014
A framed photo of the new family for each of them. Maybe in a frame that says "Family"? Or if you have time, a personalized frame that says "The ______ Family" (that would really only work if they will all have the same last name).
posted by amro at 2:28 PM on October 28, 2014
posted by amro at 2:28 PM on October 28, 2014
What a lovely thought! It sounds like a beautiful day.
We have pewter little goblets. A friend of our family gave our family of 4 one each. I use mine at Passover for Elijah's place setting. I also use it for magic. Quite a useful article.
Silver piggy banks would be nice for each child. Tiffany, Reed and Barton and Target all sell them. Perhaps with a couple of bucks in each?
What a wonderful introduction into your family.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 4:32 PM on October 28, 2014
We have pewter little goblets. A friend of our family gave our family of 4 one each. I use mine at Passover for Elijah's place setting. I also use it for magic. Quite a useful article.
Silver piggy banks would be nice for each child. Tiffany, Reed and Barton and Target all sell them. Perhaps with a couple of bucks in each?
What a wonderful introduction into your family.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 4:32 PM on October 28, 2014
I also loved having "grown up" stuff when I was a kid.
Kid-sized luggage/suitcases personalized with their names?
Little locking treasure boxes for their private stuff?
Getting all three kids the same thing communicates that they're all part of the same family unit now.
posted by nowmorethannever at 4:56 PM on October 28, 2014
Kid-sized luggage/suitcases personalized with their names?
Little locking treasure boxes for their private stuff?
Getting all three kids the same thing communicates that they're all part of the same family unit now.
posted by nowmorethannever at 4:56 PM on October 28, 2014
Yes, 100% agreed with girlpublisher here:
Nor would i get something different based on gender, because I think that's not cool, and also because the gender lines are also the family lines (boys from one parent, girl from another), so I'd want to a uniform gift for all the children -- something they each have that makes them feel like a team.
I recently picked up some of these lovely wooden trade tokens from a shop nearby that carries them, but you can also order them online. How about one of the "kiddo" packages for each kid (but maybe ask if they can package them in a bag that doesn't say "kiddo" because no kid WANTS kid-branded stuff). And you'd have to get consent from their parents, but the understanding would be that they can redeem them with anyone in the family -- their (new) parents, (new) siblings, or even their grandparents. They can team up and redeem them together, or choose to have some one-on-one time with someone. The tokens are lovely and smooth and look/feel nice, and they could easily become small keepsakes, but they also encourage the new families to blend and spend time together. If you had extra time, I'd say you could even include one metal token in each bag, engraved with the family name (if there is one) or some sort of meaningful word/phrase.
posted by Ragini at 4:57 PM on October 28, 2014
Nor would i get something different based on gender, because I think that's not cool, and also because the gender lines are also the family lines (boys from one parent, girl from another), so I'd want to a uniform gift for all the children -- something they each have that makes them feel like a team.
I recently picked up some of these lovely wooden trade tokens from a shop nearby that carries them, but you can also order them online. How about one of the "kiddo" packages for each kid (but maybe ask if they can package them in a bag that doesn't say "kiddo" because no kid WANTS kid-branded stuff). And you'd have to get consent from their parents, but the understanding would be that they can redeem them with anyone in the family -- their (new) parents, (new) siblings, or even their grandparents. They can team up and redeem them together, or choose to have some one-on-one time with someone. The tokens are lovely and smooth and look/feel nice, and they could easily become small keepsakes, but they also encourage the new families to blend and spend time together. If you had extra time, I'd say you could even include one metal token in each bag, engraved with the family name (if there is one) or some sort of meaningful word/phrase.
posted by Ragini at 4:57 PM on October 28, 2014
Small pewter cups with their names and underneath by age the names of everyone in their family and the wedding date. Put a toy or candy inside when presenting so they have something to play with but that's something they can keep. My son has a pewter cup of my dad's that he uses to keep pencils on his desk, notable because he is otherwise unsentimental about objects but this one is carefully kept. The cup is battered after 60+ years but still legible and useable. (A "with love from grandma" line would be nice too. My rough toddler has a special cup from her godmother that she uses for imaginative play although as its ceramic I don't think it'll survive childhood. The cups are a classic and useful gift that will last a lifetime.
posted by viggorlijah at 5:05 PM on October 28, 2014
posted by viggorlijah at 5:05 PM on October 28, 2014
What about two shirts from each set grandparents that says "My Grandma loves me" and "My Grandpa loves me" and put them in a cup/mug with an engraving to remember the day by.
Congratulations on your new grandkids!
posted by sciencegeek at 5:26 PM on October 28, 2014
Congratulations on your new grandkids!
posted by sciencegeek at 5:26 PM on October 28, 2014
Definitely not anything that says "grandma" or "the -- family." Presuming the mother is still around, it's up to her to decide if you get to be called grandparents and what the family name is. No matter how thrilled you are, this is in some ways not a happy event for any of the kids. It's fine to get them a toy or whatever, but make sure that your enthusiasm for the event and preconceptions of the new blended family do not supersede the hard, actual work of creating a functional blended family.
posted by yarly at 6:28 PM on October 28, 2014
posted by yarly at 6:28 PM on October 28, 2014
No matter how thrilled you are, this is in some ways not a happy event for any of the kids.
You have no way of knowing this.
Presuming the mother is still around, it's up to her to decide if you get to be called grandparents and what the family name is.
The mother of the twins? I presume she's still around if she's marrying OP's son, who apparently is entitled to no say at all.
posted by amro at 6:09 AM on October 29, 2014
You have no way of knowing this.
Presuming the mother is still around, it's up to her to decide if you get to be called grandparents and what the family name is.
The mother of the twins? I presume she's still around if she's marrying OP's son, who apparently is entitled to no say at all.
posted by amro at 6:09 AM on October 29, 2014
I would take a lot of photos at the wedding and at other family events over the next few weeks, then make a nice hard-cover bound picture book. Maybe one for each kid, but maybe one to share would be okay.
posted by CathyG at 4:24 PM on October 29, 2014
posted by CathyG at 4:24 PM on October 29, 2014
Thanks so much! Unfortunately, I waited too long to order, and I can't get the pewter cups in time for the wedding on Saturday. However, all five members of the new family have birthdays in December so now I have easy birthday gifts!
posted by raisingsand at 9:00 AM on October 30, 2014
posted by raisingsand at 9:00 AM on October 30, 2014
This thread is closed to new comments.
I'm at a loss for specific items but I think that it would be awesome for there to be a grandparentizing-grandchildizing portion of the day. Where each kid is introduced to his/her new grandparents.
posted by sciencegeek at 12:30 PM on October 28, 2014