Help me make this job decision with my BRAIN.
October 10, 2014 5:34 AM Subscribe
I've just been offered an awesome job! But I feel terrified at the prospect of quitting my current job. How do make myself feel okay about leaving a job that often isn't very good for me?
Current job (more in my previous questions):
> I do programming and training for a nonprofit about half time and work one-on-one with an individual in the community half-time
> Both parts of this job can be fairly fun but also incredibly stressful
> The hours are often quite weird and I have to work about every other weekend
> The work is very rewarding
> Management at this job is unwilling to do much actual managing
> It's a 1/2 hour commute and many days I wind up driving over 100 miles (though I do get mileage compensation)
> I am paid $13/hr so annually about $26000, with crappy benefits
New job:
> I would be working as an ESL teacher (something I'm quite good at), including being paid to lesson plan
> The nonprofit I'd be working for seems like it has really great goals
> The hours would be regular and I'd be off by 1pm most days
> It's a 20 minute commute
> position is grant-funded and is not guaranteed after six months, but the director is positive they will get more money
> It pays $26-28/hr, for 20 hrs/week which means I'd be making the same amount of money while working half time
Okay. Seems very obvious that I should take this new job. But I can't overcome the feeling of guilt at the idea of quitting my current one. How will my supervisees manage without me? Will someone else be doing all the fun activities I've set up next year? Will I ever get to see any of the great people I work with again? Will the person I work with in the community have to sit at home all day without me to take them out?
The third option is taking the new job but continuing to work at my current one part-time. My current employers wouldn't be thrilled with this, but I think they would go with it rather than lose me completely (they have no time to train someone new). However, this would mean driving from one job to the other every day (45 minutes) so the reduction in stress would be limited. I've worked this job with another job before and it made me nuts. But I could make quite a bit more money than I'm accustomed to, which would be nice. And there is a potential for this new job to disappear after six months, so hanging on to both might be the most secure move.
Basically, there's plates of beans everywhere. Help me make yet another important life decision, please!
Current job (more in my previous questions):
> I do programming and training for a nonprofit about half time and work one-on-one with an individual in the community half-time
> Both parts of this job can be fairly fun but also incredibly stressful
> The hours are often quite weird and I have to work about every other weekend
> The work is very rewarding
> Management at this job is unwilling to do much actual managing
> It's a 1/2 hour commute and many days I wind up driving over 100 miles (though I do get mileage compensation)
> I am paid $13/hr so annually about $26000, with crappy benefits
New job:
> I would be working as an ESL teacher (something I'm quite good at), including being paid to lesson plan
> The nonprofit I'd be working for seems like it has really great goals
> The hours would be regular and I'd be off by 1pm most days
> It's a 20 minute commute
> position is grant-funded and is not guaranteed after six months, but the director is positive they will get more money
> It pays $26-28/hr, for 20 hrs/week which means I'd be making the same amount of money while working half time
Okay. Seems very obvious that I should take this new job. But I can't overcome the feeling of guilt at the idea of quitting my current one. How will my supervisees manage without me? Will someone else be doing all the fun activities I've set up next year? Will I ever get to see any of the great people I work with again? Will the person I work with in the community have to sit at home all day without me to take them out?
The third option is taking the new job but continuing to work at my current one part-time. My current employers wouldn't be thrilled with this, but I think they would go with it rather than lose me completely (they have no time to train someone new). However, this would mean driving from one job to the other every day (45 minutes) so the reduction in stress would be limited. I've worked this job with another job before and it made me nuts. But I could make quite a bit more money than I'm accustomed to, which would be nice. And there is a potential for this new job to disappear after six months, so hanging on to both might be the most secure move.
Basically, there's plates of beans everywhere. Help me make yet another important life decision, please!
I promise you that your current workplace will be just fine when you leave. I worked at a place for 5 amazing years, 2 meh years and 4 awful ones. I felt like crap when my new, amazing job came around. I did the jobs of 2 1/2 people! Who would submit the DTOs? Who would make sure the ads were scheduled? Who would change out the monthly banners for the car company? Would it be goodbye forever?
You know what? Someone learned how to do the DTOs. After a week of mess, all of the ads were scheduled properly again. Someone else learned about the car company banners. I see my former coworkers on a regular basis (usually at retirement parties).
I have a new group of friendly coworkers. I sleep better. I love my work. And anybody's job can be gone in six months.
Take the job! Write up a list of your duties during your 2 week notice and walk away completely. It will be fine!
posted by kimberussell at 6:03 AM on October 10, 2014 [5 favorites]
You know what? Someone learned how to do the DTOs. After a week of mess, all of the ads were scheduled properly again. Someone else learned about the car company banners. I see my former coworkers on a regular basis (usually at retirement parties).
I have a new group of friendly coworkers. I sleep better. I love my work. And anybody's job can be gone in six months.
Take the job! Write up a list of your duties during your 2 week notice and walk away completely. It will be fine!
posted by kimberussell at 6:03 AM on October 10, 2014 [5 favorites]
Your "current job" bullet points read to me like a big plate of rotten lima beans.
The "new job" bullet points look like a cross between cherries jubilee and fresh peaches.
You would be insane not to take the new job!
How your current "managers" get along without you is firmly their problem. Do you think you're indispensable? They're sure not paying you as if you are.
Move on! Stretch your wings! Have more fun, at more pay!
posted by BostonTerrier at 6:07 AM on October 10, 2014 [3 favorites]
The "new job" bullet points look like a cross between cherries jubilee and fresh peaches.
You would be insane not to take the new job!
How your current "managers" get along without you is firmly their problem. Do you think you're indispensable? They're sure not paying you as if you are.
Move on! Stretch your wings! Have more fun, at more pay!
posted by BostonTerrier at 6:07 AM on October 10, 2014 [3 favorites]
You're not Leslie Knope and is Leslie Knope was Leslie Knope she'd be...well, deluded.
You're not irreplaceable. None of us are. Granted, some of us do a better job at things than others, but you have a right to do what's right for you.
posted by inturnaround at 6:11 AM on October 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
You're not irreplaceable. None of us are. Granted, some of us do a better job at things than others, but you have a right to do what's right for you.
posted by inturnaround at 6:11 AM on October 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
Look at it this way - leaving opens up your job for somebody else not as awesome as you to take a step up in their career.
posted by COD at 6:16 AM on October 10, 2014
posted by COD at 6:16 AM on October 10, 2014
There's never going to be a "good time" to quit a job, so you just have to do it. If your current employer really, really wants to keep you then they may try to counter-offer, but new job sounds AWESOME and a great opportunity for you. Managers deal with people leaving all the time and it may be that losing you will be a wake up call that they need to change some things, but you should never feel guilty about moving on to bigger and brighter things for yourself ( and because, non-profit, for profit, whatever the business, they will usually have no problem letting you go if they needed to do so).
posted by thefang at 6:19 AM on October 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by thefang at 6:19 AM on October 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
How do make myself feel okay about leaving a job that often isn't very good for me?
By leaving. You don't need to feel okay about resigning in order to resign. Is it more pleasant? Absolutely. Is it necessary? Nope.
Just leave. Angst and all. When you submit your notice you might feel better. You might feel worse. Once you actually leave and start the new job....that's when you'll start feeling better.
Congratulations!
posted by space_cookie at 6:26 AM on October 10, 2014
By leaving. You don't need to feel okay about resigning in order to resign. Is it more pleasant? Absolutely. Is it necessary? Nope.
Just leave. Angst and all. When you submit your notice you might feel better. You might feel worse. Once you actually leave and start the new job....that's when you'll start feeling better.
Congratulations!
posted by space_cookie at 6:26 AM on October 10, 2014
Best answer: You seem to be suffering from an illusion that is common in the nonprofit world (I know because I have been there): that you are indispensable. You are not. When you leave, they will hire someone else, or they'll get other people to pick up parts of your job.
How will my supervisees manage without me?
Do you mean your supervisors, or are you actually making $13/hour managing people? That is insane. Either way, they will be fine because your organization will hire someone else. Even if they don't, they will be fine without you, because you are not indispensable.
Will someone else be doing all the fun activities I've set up next year?
Probably. But they'll be making $13/hour. If you're worried that no one will organize the fun programs you have planned - they may not, but they will plan other activities that will probably be great too.
Will I ever get to see any of the great people I work with again?
If you want to, yes. I'm still very close friends with people I worked with 10-15 years ago. Others have drifted out of my life, but that happens.
Will the person I work with in the community have to sit at home all day without me to take them out?
No, because someone else will take them out - the person your organization hires to replace you. Because you are not indispensable.
I apologize if this sounds harsh. I'm sure you are amazing at your job, because your passion shows through. But this idea that no one else can do what you do is toxic and it's what leads good people to burn out of the nonprofit sector. The thing is, when you leave, your organization will hire someone else. They may not be as good as you at some things, but they will bring other things to the role that you don't.
It's a fine line to walk, because in order to keep doing this work at a lower wage than you'd earn in the for-profit sector you have to be personally invested and feel like the work has meaning and value beyond the dollars it puts in your bank account. The sort of shocking revelation that I eventually came to is that it's more important to me that I do this work than it is to the world. Because if I weren't doing it, someone else would be, and the work that I was doing would carry on, but I would miss it. Once I figured that out, I was able to be a lot more balanced in my approach to the work and be better at getting what I needed from my employers.
posted by lunasol at 7:28 AM on October 10, 2014 [7 favorites]
How will my supervisees manage without me?
Do you mean your supervisors, or are you actually making $13/hour managing people? That is insane. Either way, they will be fine because your organization will hire someone else. Even if they don't, they will be fine without you, because you are not indispensable.
Will someone else be doing all the fun activities I've set up next year?
Probably. But they'll be making $13/hour. If you're worried that no one will organize the fun programs you have planned - they may not, but they will plan other activities that will probably be great too.
Will I ever get to see any of the great people I work with again?
If you want to, yes. I'm still very close friends with people I worked with 10-15 years ago. Others have drifted out of my life, but that happens.
Will the person I work with in the community have to sit at home all day without me to take them out?
No, because someone else will take them out - the person your organization hires to replace you. Because you are not indispensable.
I apologize if this sounds harsh. I'm sure you are amazing at your job, because your passion shows through. But this idea that no one else can do what you do is toxic and it's what leads good people to burn out of the nonprofit sector. The thing is, when you leave, your organization will hire someone else. They may not be as good as you at some things, but they will bring other things to the role that you don't.
It's a fine line to walk, because in order to keep doing this work at a lower wage than you'd earn in the for-profit sector you have to be personally invested and feel like the work has meaning and value beyond the dollars it puts in your bank account. The sort of shocking revelation that I eventually came to is that it's more important to me that I do this work than it is to the world. Because if I weren't doing it, someone else would be, and the work that I was doing would carry on, but I would miss it. Once I figured that out, I was able to be a lot more balanced in my approach to the work and be better at getting what I needed from my employers.
posted by lunasol at 7:28 AM on October 10, 2014 [7 favorites]
Best answer: Nthing the fact that you are not indispensable. It might sound like a bit of an insult, but it is SO freeing once you realize that the others will continue to do just fine without you.
When (not if... take this job, woman*!) you do leave, just be prepared to still feel a little weird about your old organization for a while. I went to school to switch careers and ended up leaving my organization after more than a decade because they wouldn't make an opening for me that used my new skills. My new job/organization/co-workers/paycheques are AMAZING, but I still get a little choked up when driving by my old office (or even other sites that I never even worked at just because they still have the logo on the front).
*I wrote that before looking at your profile. Concern about the well-being of your former co-workers/organization/clients is such a lady thing to do that I just assumed you were female. It's the kind of subtle self career sabotage that inspired Lean In.
posted by sparklemotion at 7:41 AM on October 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
When (not if... take this job, woman*!) you do leave, just be prepared to still feel a little weird about your old organization for a while. I went to school to switch careers and ended up leaving my organization after more than a decade because they wouldn't make an opening for me that used my new skills. My new job/organization/co-workers/paycheques are AMAZING, but I still get a little choked up when driving by my old office (or even other sites that I never even worked at just because they still have the logo on the front).
*I wrote that before looking at your profile. Concern about the well-being of your former co-workers/organization/clients is such a lady thing to do that I just assumed you were female. It's the kind of subtle self career sabotage that inspired Lean In.
posted by sparklemotion at 7:41 AM on October 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
just be prepared to still feel a little weird about your old organization for a while. I went to school to switch careers and ended up leaving my organization after more than a decade because they wouldn't make an opening for me that used my new skills. My new job/organization/co-workers/paycheques are AMAZING, but I still get a little choked up when driving by my old office (or even other sites that I never even worked at just because they still have the logo on the front).
This is a really good point. I left my last organization for really good reasons (I realized I was underpaid by about 30%, I was ready for a promotion but there were no opportunities), but I still miss a lot of things about working there and still really love the organization. My old team posted happy hour pics on FB the other day and I almost cried. But it was still the right decision!
posted by lunasol at 7:54 AM on October 10, 2014
This is a really good point. I left my last organization for really good reasons (I realized I was underpaid by about 30%, I was ready for a promotion but there were no opportunities), but I still miss a lot of things about working there and still really love the organization. My old team posted happy hour pics on FB the other day and I almost cried. But it was still the right decision!
posted by lunasol at 7:54 AM on October 10, 2014
Response by poster: Do you mean your supervisors, or are you actually making $13/hour managing people? That is insane.
Uh...yeah. Being extremely tired of comments like this from friends/family/random strangers was one reason I applied for a new job!
THANK YOU, folks. Thinking about this in terms of reducing my ego (I'm not really that important! they might very well hire someone better than me!) is so, so helpful.
posted by chaiminda at 7:56 AM on October 10, 2014 [2 favorites]
Uh...yeah. Being extremely tired of comments like this from friends/family/random strangers was one reason I applied for a new job!
THANK YOU, folks. Thinking about this in terms of reducing my ego (I'm not really that important! they might very well hire someone better than me!) is so, so helpful.
posted by chaiminda at 7:56 AM on October 10, 2014 [2 favorites]
Nooooo. Nooooooo. Put in your notice! It's really okay to make someone else minorly peeved for like 45 minutes in order to change your entire life situation. You deserve it!
posted by threeants at 9:46 AM on October 10, 2014
posted by threeants at 9:46 AM on October 10, 2014
And there is a potential for this new job to disappear after six months, so hanging on to both might be the most secure move.
I actually *wouldn't* take the new job. Maybe your gut is telling you the same thing my gut is telling me when I read the new job's bullet points?
A part-time job that's only funded for six months is not something to give notice at a full-time, perpetually-funded job (with benefits, even if crappy ones) for, imo. I've also worked in similar positions (teaching/tutoring ESL and TOEFL) and the *minimum* going rate is generally $25-30/hr -- even though that seems like a good hourly, it doesn't actually turn out all that well in terms of your ultimate take home because you're probably a 1099 employee (not W-2), so you don't have taxes taken out of that pay, and because, of course, you don't get a whole lot of hours. (Did you double check to see if whether your W-2 or 1099? Also, does the ESL place offer any benefits? What's going to happen with that?).
If you can take the new job for the six months it's funded for, but keep working at your old place, *and* step back into your full-time role at the old place if the new place doesn't work out, then that's also a pretty good option. But I personally think you're throwing your financial stability to the winds if you quit your current (admittedly underpaid) job to take the ESL teaching gig.
That's not to say you should stay at your current job indefinitely, but personally, I think that you should keep looking for better work (full-time, permanent, *and* with reasonable pay + benefits) instead of taking the ESL gig.
posted by rue72 at 11:54 AM on October 10, 2014
I actually *wouldn't* take the new job. Maybe your gut is telling you the same thing my gut is telling me when I read the new job's bullet points?
A part-time job that's only funded for six months is not something to give notice at a full-time, perpetually-funded job (with benefits, even if crappy ones) for, imo. I've also worked in similar positions (teaching/tutoring ESL and TOEFL) and the *minimum* going rate is generally $25-30/hr -- even though that seems like a good hourly, it doesn't actually turn out all that well in terms of your ultimate take home because you're probably a 1099 employee (not W-2), so you don't have taxes taken out of that pay, and because, of course, you don't get a whole lot of hours. (Did you double check to see if whether your W-2 or 1099? Also, does the ESL place offer any benefits? What's going to happen with that?).
If you can take the new job for the six months it's funded for, but keep working at your old place, *and* step back into your full-time role at the old place if the new place doesn't work out, then that's also a pretty good option. But I personally think you're throwing your financial stability to the winds if you quit your current (admittedly underpaid) job to take the ESL teaching gig.
That's not to say you should stay at your current job indefinitely, but personally, I think that you should keep looking for better work (full-time, permanent, *and* with reasonable pay + benefits) instead of taking the ESL gig.
posted by rue72 at 11:54 AM on October 10, 2014
Best answer: Are you a poetry reader by chance? I keep Mary Oliver's The Journey on hand when I'm facing painful-but-necessary departures from situations I've outgrown.
posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto at 12:24 PM on October 10, 2014
posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto at 12:24 PM on October 10, 2014
Response by poster: rue72, I will have benefits and will not be 1099. Forgot to mention that. I'm not too worried about job security because I am fairly employable and my husband makes enough to support us for a little while if we had to do that.
posted by chaiminda at 12:36 PM on October 10, 2014
posted by chaiminda at 12:36 PM on October 10, 2014
This thread is closed to new comments.
People move on to better opportunities all the time. It's a good thing! When you quit, leave the door open and on good terms.
You are not indispensible, and I'm sure one of your direct reports can fill in for you, or they can hire someone else.
You do yourself a disservice if you keep working for half of what you're worth.
Quit, take the new job, and move on.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:54 AM on October 10, 2014 [5 favorites]