MBA in self-management

September 30, 2014 12:55 PM

Expert self-managers, how do you do it?

Hey hivemind! :) so I have asked about this in relation to specific behaviours before but I am trying to understand more about EQ lately and part of that is self-management. How do you effective self managers handle things like (i) heated arguments (ii) procrastination (iii) destructive habits?

Thank you!

posted by dinosaurprincess to Human Relations (2 answers total)

Well, I'm not saying that I''m an expert or that I have banished all destructive behaviors from my life. But a large part of this for me was about mindfulness. The ability to be aware in the moment of what is happening , factually and emotionally, is key to my being able to manage it effectively.

There were three things that helped me on my journey to better self-awareness: meditation, journaling and self-tracking. I hate meditating and I sucked at it, but I did learn some useful things from it, like how to breathe through an uncomfortable situation instead of running away from it or going on the attack. Journalling was great after a bad experience - writing about what happened and how I felt helped at the time and was also useful to come back to a few weeks later, when I had more perspective. Self tracking was incredibly helpful - I tracked good behaviors and bad behaviors as well as other things like mood, physical things, diet, exercise, sleep etc. After a few weeks I got to see patterns I hadn't seen before. For instance, I've always hated crying at work. I found that the only times I ever cried at work were after nights of too little sleep - I had literally never made that connection before. I adjusted my sleep habits so that now I get a full 6 - 7 hours every night and it's been years since this was a problem. On days where I have too little sleep, I am careful about putting myself in difficult situations, and all is hunky dory.
posted by yogalemon at 2:23 PM on September 30, 2014 [4 favorites]

For heated arguments, there's this book: Difficult Conversations

For procrastination, it is often due to perfectionism. First find a way to deal with your inner critic.

For destructive habits, seek counseling.
posted by vienna at 12:38 PM on October 1, 2014