Tired of not really having a wardrobe, but unsure where to begin!

September 8, 2014 6:55 AM

At the ripe old age of 37, I've decided I'd like to look more put together and explore wearing clothes that aren't my usual uniform of "jeans, add t-shirt; in case of winter, add sweaters." But there are always snowflakes.

I would like to learn how to dress myself stylishly. Not only in terms of professionally (I'm in the process of re-entering the job market after five years), but also personally.

In my teens and 20s I tended towards ALL THE BLACK CLOTHING, but somewhere after 30, I realized I didn't mind colour so much after all. But again, I tend to be very slovenly. Like, not sloppy and uncaring, but just throwing on a pair of jeans and tee and being done with it. This is mostly because I have never had any guide as to present myself better. I don't want stuffy clothing like blazers and twin sets, but something comfortable, unique yet classic with a touch of whimsy. (I am big on whimsy as my love for funky cute patterned pajamas and knee socks can attest. I also bought an owl print dress because I wanted it.)

So Hive Mind, how do I dress well affordably? What are the mix and match basics a woman should have that looks good? I don't mind the jeans and tee staying in the mix just as long as they are not my every day wear.

I'd like to add that I am of average height (5;5"), average weight (155, with the goal of getting to 150 and then maintaining), but very busty up top, slightly squashy middle, good bum, and long legs.

Help me create and cultivate an attractive wardrobe!

BONUS: vegan-friendly clothing would be great, so any suggestions there would be appreciated!

posted by Kitteh to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (12 answers total)

How are your jeans? Are they a good wash and fit well, in the bum and otherwise? Is the length right? Is the leg opening good for your body shape? How about your tees? Are they the right neckline for you? (If you're busty, you don't want crew neck or turtle, for example.) You also don't want words on your shirt, to look more professional. How are your shoes? Are they professional? And your bras? Have you been in for a fitting? And which colors are best for you?

The reason for all the questions is that it can be easiest to work on building a wardrobe by examining what you wear now - and then building on top of that. You know you like jeans and tees, so look at getting great jeans and tees, first. They can be casual-ish professional, by adding a scarf (whimsy is fine!), or a knit blazer (I know you don't like blazers, but look for knit ones - they feel like sweatshirts, but look much better.)

Cute dresses and skirts in whimsical patterns are great! Make sure the cut and colors are flattering on you. Try on button down shirts (I'm busty and never button all the way - wear a cami if the shirt gapes) and more blouse-y tops, and see what you like on your body. Cultivating your personal style and wardrobe is a lifelong process - don't feel like you need to do this all in the next few weeks. Start looking at stores critically - do you like Anthropologie's style? J Crew? Boden? Modcloth? Eileen Fisher? etc - and try to identify what you like about them, too. Then google for blogs about them, or "xxxx store inspiration."
posted by umwhat at 7:28 AM on September 8, 2014 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Hello, you are me. Except I carry a bit more weight than you, but let's not get technical.

First of all: consider which neutral colours you want to wear now you no longer want to wear ALL THE BLACK. These days I default to navy as my neutral, but grey, brown, and ecru also work well. Navy works for me because I wear a lot of deep jewel colours.

Secondly: You'll want basics. Boring, I know, but you'll want basics. I wear dresses almost exclusively so I have a handful of go-to skirts and dresses. My most oft-worn outfit is a navy wrap-dress which I layer on top of a brightly coloured long-sleeved top and accessorise with insanely colourful necklaces or scarves.

Thirdly: Dress for your shape. I fought this for years and wore oversized tshirts to hide my curves. Now I wear either A-line or tulip skirts. I wear most of "the fun stuff" like whimsical prints on top. I figure most people look there anyway ;) Then I layer it with handknitted cardis and aforementioned insane necklaces.

I'm told I'm "stylish" - I think this means I just make sure every piece I wear goes with whatever else I'm wearing. Most of my clothes are charity shop finds or I make them myself (hello ETHICS).
posted by kariebookish at 7:39 AM on September 8, 2014 [2 favorites]

Best answer: PS Busty ladies can get well-fitted shirts from Pepperberry. Mostly I just wear fitted long-sleeved tees underneath quirky tops. Belts add shape. I hate wearing belts but they do nip in at the waist.
posted by kariebookish at 7:43 AM on September 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I'm also in the midst of a wardrobe revamp/upgrade/maybe-I-should-try-not-dressing-like-a-schlub-all-the-time thing, and...well, I've found Pinterest to be really helpful. I was leery of it for ages --- just didn't seem like my thing at all --- but when it comes to figuring out a new style it's dead useful.

Basically what you need to do is set up a board and then go cruising around the internet and start pinning things you like --- if there's a brand/designer you know you dig, start with their website. Find a few design/fashion/street style blogs and use them as you launch pad. Google images can also be helpful, as my umpteen million searches for "buttercream moto jacket" will attest. The key is, you want to get in the habit of, when you see something and think, "hey, that looks cool" you add it to the board, and after a few weeks when you go back the themes that appeal to you will start to jump out and become obvious --- turns out I like structured clothes with asymmetric necklines and jewel tones, for example.

The website Polyvore is also quite helpful --- it searches a ton of store websites and puts them all on a page in a single tile image display, and you can search for trends/terms and you can start to really grok what is meant when something is described as say, a skater dress.

The end result is of all this browsing and curating is that when you do go out to shop you have a target in mind --- figuring out a silhouette and a palate that appeals to you and works with your body/colouring is like, three-quarters of the battle.
posted by Diablevert at 8:00 AM on September 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

Two more things --- getting into the habit of pinning what looks cool will also help you find new designers whose aesthetic you dig. Also, I've found it useful to let things sit on the board for a bit --- sometimes, a little time goes by and the shine wears off. It can help you figure out which are the key pieces you should actually go out and purchase.
posted by Diablevert at 8:14 AM on September 8, 2014

Around the same age as you are I decided to liven up my wardrobe, but I wasn't really sure where to begin, plus I didn't make much money. I was not good at determining what the right look was for me, my body type and personality. I also started a new job where I wanted to look more professional without resorting to black and navy suits. I thought about the items I feel comfortable in, particularly accessories. I hate costume jewelry (on me), although I like simple silver and gold pieces, scarves, funky quality shoes. I really don't pay much mind to the clothing itself and focus on it as a template: simple basic and natural tones. So, I went to the Salvation Army frequently and managed to put together a strikingly good assortment of slacks, blouses, scarves and cardigans, almost entirely J. Crew, Black&White, Cache, and Ann Taylor, very little to no wear. 10 years later I still almost exclusively shop at Salvation Army because I like the variety and of course the cost. However, I spend some money on my shoes and coats. I buy shoes from Fluevog, which aren't cheap but boy is it worth it to have some funky comfortable heels, flats and a pair of boots. FWIW, my husband and I make a combined income of $400K a year, and I still LOVE Salvation Army!! I think spending money on work clothes is silly when you can get great clothes for 90% off, and you can really afford to experiment while evolving your personal style.
posted by waving at 9:25 AM on September 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I guess it depends on where you work. I'll give my perspective as a teacher.

I've never, never, never felt comfortable in professional clothing. I don't like anything touching my neck, or anything fitted around my arms or waist. But as a newly middle-aged woman, I'm realizing that I need to look more professional to combat the stereotypes about women of a certain age and flakiness/general uselessness.

I've found that a washable blazer, a nice tank or t-shirt, well-constructed jeans or jeans camouflaged as pants (these being my new favorite item of clothing ever), some light jewelry, maybe a scarf on cooler days, and boots with heels makes me look ten times more professional that my normal jeans/shirt look. I have become a fanatical Eddie Bauer shopper, if only because they seems to specialize in "clothing in wearable colors without any weird shit on them" that are amazingly comfortable as well.
posted by bibliowench at 11:09 AM on September 8, 2014 [3 favorites]

You're not really a snowflake, and there are lots of questions like this which I'm too lazy to look up right now, so here's a summary.

- Make a Pinterest board (or other moodboard) where you collect outfits you like. Once you have a bunch, analyze them to see what you like about them. From there, figure out what styles you might want to copy. (I also like looking at people on the street -- look for someone with a similar body type or whose style you love, and see what they're wearing.)

- Some websites that will help you include youlookfab, Into-Mind, Putting Me Together. Also, google "capsule wardrobe" for tons of resources.

Figure out what you want to look like first, then find clothes that will help you get there.
posted by chickenmagazine at 11:11 AM on September 8, 2014

Response by poster: To answer questions about my work setting: I do part-time admin in a university setting.

I'd like to wear more dresses and skirts with nice tops because again, it has been A Life in Jeans.
posted by Kitteh at 11:32 AM on September 8, 2014

The blog Academic Chic isn't active anymore, but the archives are still up! There were 2 or 3 contributors, each with a slightly different take, and all working at a university.
posted by jrobin276 at 2:51 PM on September 8, 2014

Best answer: 1. Find a local vintage shop with stuff you like. There's probably one or more possibilities near the university.
2. Only buy stuff you think looks FABULOUS on you. "Okay" is not enough.

That's the core of my fashion philosophy, which regularly results in outfits that get compliments. I wrote a blog post about the rules I buy clothes by not too long ago.

ALSO: Be prepared to flail around a bit before you find your style. Avoid spending a ton of money on anything and you'll feel relatively free to experiment, and let go of experiments that just never worked out. Which is why I like the "vintage" thing - it's probably pricier than Goodwill, but what you're paying for is the curation. I'm much more likely to find something I like in Redlight than I am in the Goodwill next door. And it's still a lot cheaper than going shopping at the mall. I've phased out most of my first attempts at Finding My Style because they just didn't work; they went into the donation bin at Goodwill. Maybe someone else will love them instead of having them linger in the back of my closet.

(That said I do have a few new things - the occasional gorgeous find at Nordstrom Rack, some of Black Milk's lovely spandex stuff, a few lacy/chiffon pieces, my lightweight fall coat from the local goth shop... keep the bar high for this, though.)

I dunno if vintage clothing is vegan-friendly or not. Is it okay if the animals that grew the fur in that fabulous coat were killed ten years ago?
posted by egypturnash at 11:41 PM on September 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

Best answer: What you want is a capsule wardrobe. The concept is having pieces that you can mix/match to make several different outfits. I'm terrible at putting them together myself, so I look at pinterest, fashion blogs, and have used this capsule wardrobe planner to help me use what I already have instead of doing what I'd naturally do, which is go buy ALL the clothes.
posted by hollygoheavy at 7:44 AM on September 9, 2014 [2 favorites]