For no apparent reason, I am suddenly super stressed out and completely unable to concentrate on anything...
I asked two questions
a year ago about a sort of identity crisis I was having. The answers were extremely helpful and up until a few days ago I felt like I had gotten over it. I no longer feel any obsessive compulsion to become "great" or to constantly compare myself to others. A few weeks ago, I was very excited to start the summer, and I had drawn up a schedule to ensure that I made some progress studying the things I'm interested in.
Two days ago, however, completely out of the blue, I started worrying again. I feel that it is somehow connected to this prior issue, but the reasons for my worrying aren't exactly clear to me. I think maybe I'm stressing that I'm not doing all this studying "of my own accord". I thought I had cleared this up by resolving to study only a few areas I'm very interested in (modern music and string theory, in particular) with specific goals (composing a piece or being able to understand a certain part of the math), but maybe I hadn't convinced myself that this was really only out of curiosity and not due to my past compulsion. Last year, after several months of thinking, the solution I had come up with was: "It doesn't matter whether I'm mediocre or whether I ever gain recognition for my work; I should just do the things that I'm truly interested in, and not bother to compare myself to others or to stress about the outcome." This was solid in my mind up until two days ago; now I feel like I have to keep rehashing it constantly, like I don't really believe it anymore. (I hope this is making sense.)
I decided to just try and work through it, but I can't actually focus on anything. I spent all of last summer lying around, and I did eventually work through my anxieties, but I had lost so much time... I really don't want that to happen again... Please help!