Was having a second child a career killer?
June 25, 2014 2:53 PM Subscribe
For you full-time working mothers, was having a second child a career killer like my googling suggests? Are there other potentially negative ramifications of having a second that I'm not considering? Feel free to ignore the special snowflake details inside; I tend to ramble.
posted by kei02003 to Human Relations (23 answers total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
If it's relevant, the mister and I are currently balancing two careers (him: inflexible hours; me: flexible and I am home by 3ish), one side business, one highly sensitive two year old, and a blossoming social life. Are we crazy to think of having one more? I am filled with doubts when I think about days like today where I had to rush home to take care of my sick kid.
FWIW, the mister is completely on board with having another and I am ambivalent. I gave up my career the first go-round and luckily landed a job when the mini me was 18 months old but I also gave up around 10k a year and a management position. Not willing to give it up again. But I feel strongly that some children should be home with a parent if possible until age 1 to 1.5.
Other (possibly irrelevant) details: Our side business is not quite off the ground but will be by Q4 this year. Also we have to do IUI with a sperm donor (relevant only because it's not as easy as getting off of birth control and boom!). Social life is hugely important to us; we go out with friends about once a week individually and about once a week as a couple. Mini me didn't sleep through the night until 15 months and I had PPD. Mini me is currently being babysat by a friend who has one child her age but I doubt my friend will want to watch a newborn. Childcare will run us 2k a month which will eat up almost my entire post-401k, post-deductions paycheck. However, we make a comfortable 6 figures in Utah and fully fund both 401ks with no debt beside our mortgage.
The heart wants what the heart wants so....maybe it's not worth it to weigh the pros and cons with such an emotional decision? I'm willing to take that advice too.