So, the ex just went to prison for 2 years, non-parole period of 1 for a despicable crime, that like everything else, he lied about - and I wouldn't be bothered except he's left a mess behind for his kids, my kids, nice young adults on limited incomes.
posted by b33j to Law & Government (48 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
He's hugely in debt. From going through his paperwork, he was thinking about bankruptcy. All his utilities are late, and he's broken arrangement after arrangement to pay them. Until 2pm Wednesday afternoon, he shared accommodation with my son, who has the same name.
I've had a friend's lawyer husband recommend me a lawyer, and contacted him but he hasn't yet got back to me. I have access to the ex's paperwork, so that we can get a proper picture of all the debt he's in. Thinking about getting power of attorney for son so he can get ball rolling on bankruptcy proceedings, so no more debt accumulates. Yes, I know I don't have to help my ex, but I do have to help my son.
My son's name is on not on the lease and rent is due tomorrow - I can take care of this.
I was thinking of telling all the utility /bank / debtors that ex is in prison, and then rather than transferring accounts to son (thereby settling him with debt that's not his -and yes, he's been supporting his father financially but where he thought bills were being paid, apparently money was going elsewhere, like lawyer costs).
But with the shock - the arrest was November 2.5 years ago, and he of course maintained his innocence, and the unlikelihood of him going to prison - I feel like I'm missing crucial things I need to do.
There's a car with 29 months of 60 month lease here - now unregistered. A motor bike. Another older car, that my son paid rego on, but ex did not do what was necessary to transfer title (get a roadworthy cert) and that can't be backdated.
The household items are not worth much, and truly, my sons entire savings and wages have gone to his father for so long, that I think I can make a case that they are his.
I think, but haven't run the numbers completely yet, that my son, once things are sorted, can afford to live here with room mate. It saves hassle (and cost)of sending ex's belongings to his mother, re homing the cats, actually finding good place for son to live.
Daughter is in first 6 months of PhD, and told her supervisor so is being supported that way. Her boyfriend has said he doesn't know what to say or do to help her (though she has been explicit about not needing to say anything, just to give her comfort).
Neither of the kids have asked for details of what the actual crime was - naive in life experience and assuming that the story he told was true. If they ask, I will tell them, but it's indecent dealings with a 6 year old, not public exposure like he said.
Okay, region is Queensland, Australia. Question is, what do I need to do urgently, what other things should I think about that I haven't been, what must I absolutely avoid doing? Lists, legalslities, links.
I did suggest to the kids that I pay for them to talk to a professional, each, so they can process this but they don't want to. They are very private people, introverts. I am trying very hard to be compassionate about their father in their company (I agree with them, that like them, I'm angry and shocked but I don't say what I'm thinking). When I get a chance, I plan to see someone myself. No, there is no one else who can help them out. Ex's father estranged himself from family over 10 years ago, ex's mother frail and broke and poor. Ex's brother sexually assaulted daughter when she was a child.
I found and emailed the correct people to get his location and contact ability for the kids.