The only thing standing in the way.. is myself.
June 15, 2014 6:25 PM Subscribe
How do I get motivated to change and make life better for myself?
posted by MeaninglessMisfortune to Human Relations (7 answers total) 33 users marked this as a favorite
I've been going to therapy for a couple of months now. It's been somewhat helpful and it's opened my eyes to a lot of things I've not been aware of. I struggle with loneliness and social anxiety. At this point it's clear that I have to take the initiative and put myself out there. Whether it be finding new friends, potential romance or a new career path. My therapist and I have been dancing around the same issues we're both well aware of. I need to get results and move forward with this new insight. I want to be able to make positive changes in my life.. but somehow I'm not motivated enough to do it.
I have a lot riding on my shoulders. I'm unhappy with my job, my social circle and I've become completely bored/uninspired with my daily routine (going to a job that I hate and still living with my parents). I'm a creative/artistic soul and I want to somehow find a fulfilling career but I have no idea where to start. The problem is that I have an irrational fear of social rejection and I get really anxious whenever I meet new people. I feel these problems are holding me back. I have been trying to somewhat get myself out there. I've tried online dating which resulted in me going out with people who I don't click with. I've considered meetup and taking classes to learn a new skill, but I never follow through. I always find some excuse to not join. I also know that I should find an apartment and see if I can move out - but I'm just dragging my feet. I understand how irrational I can get and how I'm just avoiding rejection or assuming the worst outcome, but still -- I feel like I can't break out of this comfort zone. It's just fear. With therapy, I feel we've tried everything. It's gotten to the point where I'm considering trying out anti-depressants to give me a boost - and then weaning off them once I get everything together. But I don't want to rely on medication. I've been trying real hard to exercise more, get more sleep - and it does work. I feel more confident and more healthy. But I don't know why I resort to staying at home and avoid any chance to meet new people or go to new places. It's as if I somehow talk myself into not doing anything.
My therapist did say that because of psychological traumas I've experienced growing up, I've developed a bad habit of looking at things in a distorted sense. And how I need to re-wire my thinking. I agree with this though I'm unsure if it's possible.
The question is: How do I make myself do this? How do I push aside the anxiety and laziness to take chances and go out there and be somewhere else and be happier?
I'm not sure if this question is written out clearly and I apologize if I seem like I'm going all over the place. But it'd be great to hear some advice.