Am I doing this right?
May 10, 2014 2:56 PM Subscribe
Was prescribed Lexapro by a nurse practitioner but am too anxious to take it. Seeing a CBT specialist on Monday for $$$. So now I'm anxious about the money. Spiral of doom inside!
posted by ziggly to Health & Fitness (7 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
I've been dealing (read: not dealing) with anxiety disorder for a long time, and reluctant to do anything about it due to finances, being shamed by an abusive parent, a stint with poorly managed SSRIs that left me feeling permanently sexually disabled, and just general logistical confusion (how does one go to weekly therapy appointments while holding down a full-time job? how does one justify the financial/time outlay when unemployed?) Then the bottom dropped out of my life when a longtime SO broke up with me abruptly, though I had been picking up on the signs on some level (and writing them off as anxiety!) We lived together and though temporarily housed, I'm now dealing with trying to find a new place in the super-competitive Bay Area, and moving the rest of my stuff. I don't feel merely stressed, I feel like someone fucking died, that I'm going to die, etc. I've been sitting on a Lexapro prescription for two weeks but the list of possible side effects has me terrified and I canceled the follow-up appointment intended to see how I was doing on the medication. I'm relying on valerian, kava, and similar bullshit to get through the day, and conveniently kava is contraindicated for use with Lexapro.
So I've scheduled an initial consultation with a CBT therapist who isn't covered by insurance, mostly because it was easy to get an appointment and he has evening availability. I have an FSA card that can cover 10-15 sessions of this, though the money was earmarked for another essential medical problem that I've been putting off forever. I'm hoping the therapist can reassure me enough to start the medication. Or something.
So, am I doing this all wrong? I have two kinds of health insurance, should I be finding someone covered by them? (One insurance is covered by previously mentioned abusive parent and I was afraid they'd get some sort of notification about this, though I've since changed to electronic notices.) Sliding scale therapy (in spite of the two kinds of insurance, I am probably low-income)? Find a talk therapist instead? Find a psychiatrist? Stop worrying and learn to love the pills? Chuck it all and work through a CBT workbook? How do I navigate this?
Final note: I had a physical and blood tests recently, everything is apparently normal.