Help me fix my penis. Or at least help me leave it alone.
May 7, 2014 8:22 PM Subscribe
I have a friction burn on my penis. Is there anything other than time that could cure it? And if time is the only option, how does a guy who's been bookending his days with an orgasm for over a decade turn it off?
I was sick and taking cold medicine a couple weeks ago, and one or both of those things made it really hard to orgasm, but I stubbornly tried anyway, to the point of rubbing myself raw in a couple places. After that, I did probably all of the worst possible things I could do. I went to the gym, riding my bike there and back in tight jeans. I jerked off a bunch. I slept with the people I'm sleeping with. So it was bad and now it's worse. Willpower is not my strong suit.
I was able to hold off from masturbating for a total of two days before I gave in. I tried to be gentler, gripping it differently, but it didn't help.
Has this happened to you? Do you know of any creams or salves I can pick up? Should i be finding a urologist in my area? And how do I fight the urges? I feel like an addict, but for orgasms. Smeone should write a song about that sort of things.
*sorry for making any of you picture a sad, injured penis. please assume that it is attached to a devastatingly handsome Jon Hamm-type who may need to be taken down a peg, if that is of any consolation
I was sick and taking cold medicine a couple weeks ago, and one or both of those things made it really hard to orgasm, but I stubbornly tried anyway, to the point of rubbing myself raw in a couple places. After that, I did probably all of the worst possible things I could do. I went to the gym, riding my bike there and back in tight jeans. I jerked off a bunch. I slept with the people I'm sleeping with. So it was bad and now it's worse. Willpower is not my strong suit.
I was able to hold off from masturbating for a total of two days before I gave in. I tried to be gentler, gripping it differently, but it didn't help.
Has this happened to you? Do you know of any creams or salves I can pick up? Should i be finding a urologist in my area? And how do I fight the urges? I feel like an addict, but for orgasms. Smeone should write a song about that sort of things.
*sorry for making any of you picture a sad, injured penis. please assume that it is attached to a devastatingly handsome Jon Hamm-type who may need to be taken down a peg, if that is of any consolation
Neosporin and let the wound heal for a couple of days.
Masturbating to the point of injuring yourself might indicate a need for some type of counseling.
posted by vapidave at 8:42 PM on May 7, 2014 [7 favorites]
Masturbating to the point of injuring yourself might indicate a need for some type of counseling.
posted by vapidave at 8:42 PM on May 7, 2014 [7 favorites]
So in high school This One Guy I Know suffered an unfortunate carpet burn on his penis due to some vintage pants and dry humping gone awry. The burn/pain lingered for a few weeks actually, and made it difficult to engage in onanistic or coupled sexual activities.
A dermatologist is probably not totally necessary right away. You should put some aloe vera on it, or perhaps a more potent burn ointment like neosporin, but honestly - the only way for this to heal is to leave it alone for a while. I know that's not what you want to hear, but you're going to make it worse if you keep at it. If it gets much worse, or shows any sign of infection, go see your GP or a dermatologist.
posted by Lutoslawski at 8:43 PM on May 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
A dermatologist is probably not totally necessary right away. You should put some aloe vera on it, or perhaps a more potent burn ointment like neosporin, but honestly - the only way for this to heal is to leave it alone for a while. I know that's not what you want to hear, but you're going to make it worse if you keep at it. If it gets much worse, or shows any sign of infection, go see your GP or a dermatologist.
posted by Lutoslawski at 8:43 PM on May 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
Counseling, schmounseling. Friction happens.
It should heal faster than you'd think.
So I've heard.
posted by umbú at 9:07 PM on May 7, 2014 [7 favorites]
It should heal faster than you'd think.
So I've heard.
posted by umbú at 9:07 PM on May 7, 2014 [7 favorites]
Use a vibrator with a clitoral stimulator, like a rabbit. No friction plus it feels totally different and you can vary the intensity.
posted by grumpybear69 at 9:31 PM on May 7, 2014
posted by grumpybear69 at 9:31 PM on May 7, 2014
Yo, wassup, they invented this thing called lube… It was pretty much made to aleviate this problem. Also, maybe relax the death grip? Finally, though I've never personally tried 'em, the dude part of Oh Joy Sex Toy swears by a bunch of different accoutrements that get around that death grip problem (you're fucking a sock then, but hey).
posted by klangklangston at 9:33 PM on May 7, 2014 [9 favorites]
posted by klangklangston at 9:33 PM on May 7, 2014 [9 favorites]
Of those that own a dick, who hasn't rubbed themselves raw? There aren't enough counselors in the world.
What Klangy said. Use lube and relax your grip. Tight and dry is the cool ranch Doritos of masturbation and it is time to improve your palate.
posted by munchingzombie at 10:07 PM on May 7, 2014 [20 favorites]
What Klangy said. Use lube and relax your grip. Tight and dry is the cool ranch Doritos of masturbation and it is time to improve your palate.
posted by munchingzombie at 10:07 PM on May 7, 2014 [20 favorites]
It was the "sorry for making any of you picture a sad, injured penis" that prompted me to say that the asker might need counseling.
It was years of experience that prompted my recommendation of neosporin.
posted by vapidave at 10:27 PM on May 7, 2014 [6 favorites]
It was years of experience that prompted my recommendation of neosporin.
posted by vapidave at 10:27 PM on May 7, 2014 [6 favorites]
From what I understand, the chemicals that get released during sex and orgasm are inherently addictive, and many adults feel they need a certain frequency of sexual activity in order to feel physically and psychologically well-adjusted. That's one reason couples fight so much about how often they have sex. So if you're feeling like you're addicted to orgasms then you're probably right, but that's just a natural result of being an adult human being.
If I were you I would take the advice given above about lube and Neosporin, and just cut your sexual activity down to the minimum you need until it's healed. It might also be a good time to experiment with figuring out what that minimum is. For my partner it's about once a week, for me it's once a day, but it sounds like for you it might be twice a day.
I know folks nowadays bristle at any suggestion that sex might not always be good for you, but I think that feeling compelled to engage in extra sexual activity even when you know it's exacerbating an existing injury is a sign of a small problem that you might want to look at. It might be helpful to think of it in terms of your relationship with food: sometimes it makes sense to let loose and indulge in whatever you'd like to eat, other times you might need to focus more on your health and be much more careful about what you choose, but most days will probably be a mix of healthy food and small treats. But at no point does it make sense to stop eating entirely, you know? I think the same can be said for sexual activity.
And yes, I've been through what you're going through.
posted by sam_harms at 1:19 AM on May 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
If I were you I would take the advice given above about lube and Neosporin, and just cut your sexual activity down to the minimum you need until it's healed. It might also be a good time to experiment with figuring out what that minimum is. For my partner it's about once a week, for me it's once a day, but it sounds like for you it might be twice a day.
I know folks nowadays bristle at any suggestion that sex might not always be good for you, but I think that feeling compelled to engage in extra sexual activity even when you know it's exacerbating an existing injury is a sign of a small problem that you might want to look at. It might be helpful to think of it in terms of your relationship with food: sometimes it makes sense to let loose and indulge in whatever you'd like to eat, other times you might need to focus more on your health and be much more careful about what you choose, but most days will probably be a mix of healthy food and small treats. But at no point does it make sense to stop eating entirely, you know? I think the same can be said for sexual activity.
And yes, I've been through what you're going through.
posted by sam_harms at 1:19 AM on May 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
Bike rider, tight-pants-wearer, and penis haver here. Underwear matters, especially during the swampy months.
I can't speak to the other stuff, exactly. But I've definitely ridden myself* into some discomfort, and a neutral lotion like Nivea creme helps.
*HEYOOO… actually, not like that
posted by a halcyon day at 3:06 AM on May 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
I can't speak to the other stuff, exactly. But I've definitely ridden myself* into some discomfort, and a neutral lotion like Nivea creme helps.
*HEYOOO… actually, not like that
posted by a halcyon day at 3:06 AM on May 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
Try Corn Huskers lotion available at most chain drugs. Pure glycerin and lanolin and designed to heal cracked dry skin quickly. Absorbs completely and smells very little.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 4:00 AM on May 8, 2014
posted by halfbuckaroo at 4:00 AM on May 8, 2014
Oh boy, I never thought I would see the day where I could impart the knowledge gained from one of my most embarrassing college experiences in order to help someone.
Back in the day, I was woefully unaware of the abrasive properties of anti-dandruff shampoos. I'm sure you can figure out the unfortunate chain of events that transpired next.
Anyway, I basically did nothing and was healed up in a little over a week. There was scabbing, it was uncomfortable, itched like crazy (which was a VAST improvement over the stinging-like-hellfire that preceded it), but time heals all wounds. That being said, if you can get your hands on some neosporin, I can't imagine that would be a bad thing.
In the meantime, can you get yourself off in other ways? Anal stimulation, scrotal massaging, frenulum rubbing, etc. Either way, take it easy, fella.
posted by JimBJ9 at 5:58 AM on May 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
Back in the day, I was woefully unaware of the abrasive properties of anti-dandruff shampoos. I'm sure you can figure out the unfortunate chain of events that transpired next.
Anyway, I basically did nothing and was healed up in a little over a week. There was scabbing, it was uncomfortable, itched like crazy (which was a VAST improvement over the stinging-like-hellfire that preceded it), but time heals all wounds. That being said, if you can get your hands on some neosporin, I can't imagine that would be a bad thing.
In the meantime, can you get yourself off in other ways? Anal stimulation, scrotal massaging, frenulum rubbing, etc. Either way, take it easy, fella.
posted by JimBJ9 at 5:58 AM on May 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
Coconut oil is a surprisingly good and pleasant lube, and it's also anti-fungal, anti-bacterial, soothing and leaves skin feeling really nice.
I'm just saying.
posted by Too-Ticky at 9:18 AM on May 8, 2014
I'm just saying.
posted by Too-Ticky at 9:18 AM on May 8, 2014
Some things that help my skin heal faster, regardless of the cause of the problem:
Soak it in an apple juice and salt water mixture. (In this case, I would make it a bath -- a gallon of apple juice, a cup or more of salt, in comfy temperature water.)
Drink aloe drinks.
Drink apple juice or eat apples/apple sauce.
Eat pig skins.
posted by Michele in California at 10:12 AM on May 8, 2014
Soak it in an apple juice and salt water mixture. (In this case, I would make it a bath -- a gallon of apple juice, a cup or more of salt, in comfy temperature water.)
Drink aloe drinks.
Drink apple juice or eat apples/apple sauce.
Eat pig skins.
posted by Michele in California at 10:12 AM on May 8, 2014
Diaper rash ointment, aka, zinc oxide creme.
posted by Neekee at 3:09 PM on May 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Neekee at 3:09 PM on May 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
Ah, Penaten Cream is German diaper rash ointment. It is also pretty awesome stuff (but not for sunburn -- ugh).
posted by Michele in California at 3:15 PM on May 8, 2014
posted by Michele in California at 3:15 PM on May 8, 2014
If it's itching, you might also try a hydrocortizone cream. And yes, for gods sake, use lube in the future.
posted by Aleyn at 3:57 PM on May 8, 2014
posted by Aleyn at 3:57 PM on May 8, 2014
For the record, I do not myself have a phallic attachment. But the penis to which I avail myself maintains a relationship with a silicone - well, for lack of a better term -- pocket pussy. It is very, very soft and squishy but textured and judging from the noises he makes, quite fine. If you can't go completely cold turkey, maybe such a toy (with plenty of lube) would help minimize friction.
posted by kattyann at 9:05 PM on May 8, 2014
posted by kattyann at 9:05 PM on May 8, 2014
halfbuckaroo: "Try Corn Huskers lotion available at most chain drugs. Pure glycerin and lanolin and designed to heal cracked dry skin quickly. Absorbs completely and smells very little."
I strongly disagree with this answer unless your penis is made of saddle leather. Corn huskers lotion would burn like crazy, IMHO. It works great for dry hands in the winter, though. I would avoid anything that has alcohol as an ingredient.
You are, um, not the first guy in the world to do this. I had good luck with brand-name Desitin paste. The zinc oxide plus cod liver oil in it will soothe and protect you from further chafing from underwear/pants. The generic baby butt creams all seem to have alcohol in them that irritate sensitive skin, so I'd steer clear of those.
I would also strongly recommend that you leave it alone until it heals. I'm all for healthy masturbation, but you wouldn't run on a broken foot, would you? Give it time to heal completely.
Then, when you're ready for action, get some K-Y jelly or astroglide. If you want to use a hand cream, again, avoid anything with alcohol in it. Under no circumstances use shampoo or soap, ever.
You might also want to look around on the internet for different ideas about masturbation teschniques that are less rough on your penis. Remember: you only have one. If you treat him right, he will treat you right ;)
posted by double block and bleed at 2:26 PM on May 11, 2014
I strongly disagree with this answer unless your penis is made of saddle leather. Corn huskers lotion would burn like crazy, IMHO. It works great for dry hands in the winter, though. I would avoid anything that has alcohol as an ingredient.
You are, um, not the first guy in the world to do this. I had good luck with brand-name Desitin paste. The zinc oxide plus cod liver oil in it will soothe and protect you from further chafing from underwear/pants. The generic baby butt creams all seem to have alcohol in them that irritate sensitive skin, so I'd steer clear of those.
I would also strongly recommend that you leave it alone until it heals. I'm all for healthy masturbation, but you wouldn't run on a broken foot, would you? Give it time to heal completely.
Then, when you're ready for action, get some K-Y jelly or astroglide. If you want to use a hand cream, again, avoid anything with alcohol in it. Under no circumstances use shampoo or soap, ever.
You might also want to look around on the internet for different ideas about masturbation teschniques that are less rough on your penis. Remember: you only have one. If you treat him right, he will treat you right ;)
posted by double block and bleed at 2:26 PM on May 11, 2014
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by sammyo at 8:41 PM on May 7, 2014 [1 favorite]