Socks that may or may not exist
April 22, 2014 4:11 PM Subscribe
A plea for socks for a fussy, fussy, fussy man.
posted by A Terrible Llama to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (23 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
So Mr. Llama has a sock problem he's been struggling with for years. I'd like to help him solve his sock problem.
Here are things Mr. Llama hates:
Smartwool (I hate Smartwool too, it strangles your feet, it's like getting your blood pressure taken)
Floppy sad socks from Target that scootch down your ankles
Thick, itchy socks.
Prickly socks with too much elastic that he got from The Gap.
Having cold feet, which he has from September through June.
He has high arches, which translates as wide feet.
So you can probably gather the problems with constraints.
To the best of my ability to discern the preferences, I think he wants a lightweight sock that won't roll down and create a depressing little leg warmer around the bottom of his calf. I think he needs crew socks for the summer, for sneakers, and taller socks for the winter. He got some sock liners at one point, and liked that okay.
I don't think he cares where he has to go to get these awesome mystery socks, but I have watched him hit retailer after retailer for a full ten years and the man still hates his socks. I kind of thought Thorlos, which I like a lot, but after my showing them to him, he remained unimpressed.
What to do for the finicky sock wearer with chilly feet?
It is possible he simply hates socks, but he isn't going to like sockless feet any better.