How to combat mental shutdown triggered by feelings of inadequacy.
April 16, 2014 2:20 PM Subscribe
So this will usually be in a family setting. I live quite far away from most members of my family (brothers, cousins etc).
I look forward to seeing them but when I do something happens.
For the first few hours everything is great, I'm happy to see them. We're getting on great.
Then slowly but surely I start to feel that my life is inadequate, and that I am inadequate.
Witty responses become sarcastic putdowns and insults. I feel like I'm taking things the wrong way.
My own capacity for conversation and fun becomes subdued and almost entirely non-existent. I overthink every word. I feel completely mentally drained. And I wish they would leave as soon as possible!
I know I was happy before the visit or stay. I know I never felt inadequate with any of my friends or work colleagues.
But I feel really bad that I feel this way and I feel even worse in the actual situation.
posted by razzman to Human Relations (11 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
Sorry if this is making no sense. I'm trying to make sense of it myself.
It's definitely triggered by some kind of fear of inadequacy, especially in the face of family peers. I fear that others think I'm a doofus, and hey presto, I materialise as a doofus.
I'm looking for ways to break out of the self-defeating brain freeze. What can I do when i feel overwhelmed? What could ‘break state’?
I don’t blame others for feeling this way, even if some of the joking about can be pretty close to the bone, I blame ‘me’ and I’m happy with this judgement except I can’t seem to do anything about it. The brain fogginess and tiredness is overwhelming - I just want to shutdown.
I’ve got a big family gathering later this week to test out any ideas. I promise to report back!