Chicken Facts
March 26, 2014 3:07 PM Subscribe
I would like to play a April Fools joke of sorts on coworkers: Someone posted these Chicken Facts to the break room fridge. I would like your help in revising them.
On Twitter, Joan Arkham suggested "Leave it exactly as-is but sub in a list of facts about President Taft", so at least one similar fact will have to be found. I also got a good suggestions from metroidbaby, Rustic Etruscan, and sculpin:
I would like your suggestions as well! I plan to simple edit the HTML of the original webpage to preserve formatting. While I'd love to relabel the diagram as well, I don't know that I have the graphic skills.
So, please, lay (ha!) your ridiculous, absolutely untrue, but sincere and serious sounding Chicken Facts on me.
On Twitter, Joan Arkham suggested "Leave it exactly as-is but sub in a list of facts about President Taft", so at least one similar fact will have to be found. I also got a good suggestions from metroidbaby, Rustic Etruscan, and sculpin:
"Chickens lay more eggs while listening to music in a major key, less for a minor key."
"A chicken can swell to twice its normal size when submerged in water."
"the chicken's wattles contain a deadly poison for which no antidote is yet known."
I would like your suggestions as well! I plan to simple edit the HTML of the original webpage to preserve formatting. While I'd love to relabel the diagram as well, I don't know that I have the graphic skills.
So, please, lay (ha!) your ridiculous, absolutely untrue, but sincere and serious sounding Chicken Facts on me.
Best answer: Following the Latin name for chicken: The Pig Latin name for chicken is icken-chay.
posted by amarynth at 3:18 PM on March 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by amarynth at 3:18 PM on March 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Huh. I have a whole twitter full of joke facts about eggs (self link). You're welcome to use any of them, but here's some of the more chickeny ones:
Lots of chickens are female, but only the queens are capable of laying eggs
Eggs are the only known antidote to venomous chicken bites
For extra convenience while laying eggs, some chickens don't wear pants
Chickens are pretty much made out of eggs
For improved aiming precision, the insides of some hens are rifled
Chickens call laying an egg going number three
Sometimes hens procrastinate and then have to lay all their eggs at once, right before the deadline
Most eggs come from chickens, but some come from other birds, like sand pipers
Farmers have to get up early every morning to squeeze eggs out of their hens
Roosters don't lay eggs, because they're too busy making all that racket
Hacker chickens know how to "jailbreak" their eggs
Eggs are one of the best things to ever come out of a chicken's butt
posted by aubilenon at 3:24 PM on March 26, 2014 [35 favorites]
Lots of chickens are female, but only the queens are capable of laying eggs
Eggs are the only known antidote to venomous chicken bites
For extra convenience while laying eggs, some chickens don't wear pants
Chickens are pretty much made out of eggs
For improved aiming precision, the insides of some hens are rifled
Chickens call laying an egg going number three
Sometimes hens procrastinate and then have to lay all their eggs at once, right before the deadline
Most eggs come from chickens, but some come from other birds, like sand pipers
Farmers have to get up early every morning to squeeze eggs out of their hens
Roosters don't lay eggs, because they're too busy making all that racket
Hacker chickens know how to "jailbreak" their eggs
Eggs are one of the best things to ever come out of a chicken's butt
posted by aubilenon at 3:24 PM on March 26, 2014 [35 favorites]
The name "chicken" comes from the Latin chicchen, meaning "superior breakfast food."
posted by insectosaurus at 3:28 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by insectosaurus at 3:28 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Most chickens lay solid colored eggs, but eggs can be mottled/spotted or occasionally striped.
posted by insectosaurus at 3:29 PM on March 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by insectosaurus at 3:29 PM on March 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
Best answer: The chicken was widely believed to be mythological until brought back to England by Sir Walter Raleigh in 1602, leading to his knighthood.
Chickens are one of only four animals with a natural sense of style, they avoid people wearing clashing clothes.
Chickens can reproduce by budding as well as laying eggs. These buds are commonly sold as chicken nuggets.
In Leipzig, it is traditional for children to keep a chicken in their pants on their first day of school.
Chickens are the only birds with a prehensile beak.
Chickens know your terrible secret.
The symbol of the Hapsburgs was a chicken rampant.
If you leave over 30 chickens together in a dark room, by morning they will merge into a "superchicken" (called a "bigchick" in the American South)
Chickens can sense fear. Also loneliness.
posted by blahblahblah at 3:30 PM on March 26, 2014 [13 favorites]
Chickens are one of only four animals with a natural sense of style, they avoid people wearing clashing clothes.
Chickens can reproduce by budding as well as laying eggs. These buds are commonly sold as chicken nuggets.
In Leipzig, it is traditional for children to keep a chicken in their pants on their first day of school.
Chickens are the only birds with a prehensile beak.
Chickens know your terrible secret.
The symbol of the Hapsburgs was a chicken rampant.
If you leave over 30 chickens together in a dark room, by morning they will merge into a "superchicken" (called a "bigchick" in the American South)
Chickens can sense fear. Also loneliness.
posted by blahblahblah at 3:30 PM on March 26, 2014 [13 favorites]
The only thing Chuck Norris is afraid of is chickens.
posted by cooker girl at 3:56 PM on March 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by cooker girl at 3:56 PM on March 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Hen's teeth are only exposed when the chicken is startled, or dropped from great height.
The last of the passenger chickens went extinct in 1986.
Five or fewer chickens is called a 'clutch', while more than five chickens is a 'cluck-tonne'.
While the chicken was the first animal to develop steadi-cam head stabilizing technology, it has not yet claimed any of the intellectual property rights that are its due. (This is due to the species' collective fear of legal eagles.)
With the exception of the Derbyshire Redcap breed, all chickens are monoglots.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 3:56 PM on March 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
The last of the passenger chickens went extinct in 1986.
Five or fewer chickens is called a 'clutch', while more than five chickens is a 'cluck-tonne'.
While the chicken was the first animal to develop steadi-cam head stabilizing technology, it has not yet claimed any of the intellectual property rights that are its due. (This is due to the species' collective fear of legal eagles.)
With the exception of the Derbyshire Redcap breed, all chickens are monoglots.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 3:56 PM on March 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
Best answer: Chickens have remarkably high IQs, higher than humans or dolphins. When given an SAT test the chicken will peck the correct answer more than 9/10 times.
The last chicken to swim the English Channel was an leghorn from Chicago known as "Legs" McClucksalot.
The tail feathers of hens, when burned to ash and then powdered, are considered a powerful aphrodisiac.
Renegade groups of chickens in the southeastern US grow to unusual sizes and are ironically called "Texas sparrows." Texas sparrows can grow to 3 feet in height.
The venom in chicken wattles in makes chicken pecking deadly. In the United States, approximately 1,000 people are killed by chickens each year. This does not count attacks by Texas sparrows.
The myth of the unicorn is thought to have originated from a pre-historic chicken sighting.
posted by bunderful at 4:05 PM on March 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
The last chicken to swim the English Channel was an leghorn from Chicago known as "Legs" McClucksalot.
The tail feathers of hens, when burned to ash and then powdered, are considered a powerful aphrodisiac.
Renegade groups of chickens in the southeastern US grow to unusual sizes and are ironically called "Texas sparrows." Texas sparrows can grow to 3 feet in height.
The venom in chicken wattles in makes chicken pecking deadly. In the United States, approximately 1,000 people are killed by chickens each year. This does not count attacks by Texas sparrows.
The myth of the unicorn is thought to have originated from a pre-historic chicken sighting.
posted by bunderful at 4:05 PM on March 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
Early cave paintings found in the Lascaux Caves of southwestern France depicted a battle scene between chickens and bison. The chickens were winning.
posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto at 4:24 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto at 4:24 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
If a chicken is vibrated continuously during the laying period, it will produce a scrambled egg.
Scientists have genetically modified a chicken which can lay green eggs and ham.
posted by goethean at 4:24 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Scientists have genetically modified a chicken which can lay green eggs and ham.
posted by goethean at 4:24 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Four ounces of chicken dung contains more fiber than an equivalent amount of flax seed and twice as much calcium as a glass of milk.
Chickens are prone to swallowing small inedible objects they find while scratching for food, and these items sometimes make their way into the eggs they lay. Among the documented items that have been found inside chicken eggs are coins, small nails, various types of jewelry, the pin from a hand grenade and a human finger bone.
In tropical climates chickens are often kept indoors as pets, as they will keep a home free from insects, mice and small lizards. They can be easily trained to use a litter box like a cat.
With some effort, chickens can be taught to talk, much like parrots and mynah birds. However, they cannot produce the sound of the letter "H" as the shape of their epiglottis prevents them from exhaling audibly. Due to this they are also unable to sing.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 4:42 PM on March 26, 2014 [8 favorites]
Chickens are prone to swallowing small inedible objects they find while scratching for food, and these items sometimes make their way into the eggs they lay. Among the documented items that have been found inside chicken eggs are coins, small nails, various types of jewelry, the pin from a hand grenade and a human finger bone.
In tropical climates chickens are often kept indoors as pets, as they will keep a home free from insects, mice and small lizards. They can be easily trained to use a litter box like a cat.
With some effort, chickens can be taught to talk, much like parrots and mynah birds. However, they cannot produce the sound of the letter "H" as the shape of their epiglottis prevents them from exhaling audibly. Due to this they are also unable to sing.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 4:42 PM on March 26, 2014 [8 favorites]
Best answer: Chickens have an additional brain at the end of their spine that provides motor control in their back ends.
In nineteenth century England, chicken feathers were woven into baskets to receive calling-cards in the homes of the nascent middle-class.
A litter of kittens raised with a chicken from birth grow up to be obedient, docile, and empathetic.
posted by Banish Misfortune at 4:46 PM on March 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
In nineteenth century England, chicken feathers were woven into baskets to receive calling-cards in the homes of the nascent middle-class.
A litter of kittens raised with a chicken from birth grow up to be obedient, docile, and empathetic.
posted by Banish Misfortune at 4:46 PM on March 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
"Most of what one reads about chickens is verifiably false"
- Abraham Lincoln
posted by 4ster at 4:52 PM on March 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
- Abraham Lincoln
posted by 4ster at 4:52 PM on March 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
Best answer: All modern chickens share a common ancestor: a 16th century Austrian bird named Ch. Grechenhoff von Neudorff.
Chickens are closely related to reptiles; their bipedal gait can also be observed among basilisks, which are commonly known as Jesus lizards.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 5:05 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Chickens are closely related to reptiles; their bipedal gait can also be observed among basilisks, which are commonly known as Jesus lizards.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 5:05 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Best answer: A chicken can have 4 or 5 teeth on each foot.
Chickens lay different colored eggs, depending on this season's trendiest colors, as set by the Maison des Poulins in Paris.
Chickens are bad mamma-jammas.
If cut off, a chicken's beak can be kept alive for days by submerging it in a glass of flat ginger ale.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:08 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Chickens lay different colored eggs, depending on this season's trendiest colors, as set by the Maison des Poulins in Paris.
Chickens are bad mamma-jammas.
If cut off, a chicken's beak can be kept alive for days by submerging it in a glass of flat ginger ale.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:08 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Chickens are the only bird who are not required to pay an income tax.
Sir Winston Churchill had a chicken walk across his back every morning while he planned his day. He referred to it as "scratching out an idea" and claimed it saved thousands of lives during the Battle of Britain.
Chickens are unable to be killed as passengers in auto accidents. They do so by flapping their wings violently when they sense a crash.
Most toucans in zoos are actually black chickens wearing a false beak.
posted by Turkey Glue at 5:36 PM on March 26, 2014 [6 favorites]
Sir Winston Churchill had a chicken walk across his back every morning while he planned his day. He referred to it as "scratching out an idea" and claimed it saved thousands of lives during the Battle of Britain.
Chickens are unable to be killed as passengers in auto accidents. They do so by flapping their wings violently when they sense a crash.
Most toucans in zoos are actually black chickens wearing a false beak.
posted by Turkey Glue at 5:36 PM on March 26, 2014 [6 favorites]
Guys, is it okay if I steal some of the eggy ones you've come up with?
posted by aubilenon at 5:44 PM on March 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by aubilenon at 5:44 PM on March 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
When not killed for food, chickens can survive for up to 100 years.
posted by bunderful at 5:55 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by bunderful at 5:55 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Best answer: On the diagram change "beak" to "pecker." Add a pointer to label something Pop Sickles and one to Auxiliary Tail.
This sounds like fun!
posted by evilmomlady at 5:57 PM on March 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
This sounds like fun!
posted by evilmomlady at 5:57 PM on March 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
Though malicious killers when provoked, there are several recorded instances where chickens have saved human lives.
posted by bunderful at 6:00 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by bunderful at 6:00 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
You could buy a copy of this book at leave it in the break room.
posted by w0mbat at 6:04 PM on March 26, 2014
posted by w0mbat at 6:04 PM on March 26, 2014
In 2014, scientists expect to reintroduce the velociraptor by modifying chicken DNA.
posted by empath at 6:12 PM on March 26, 2014
posted by empath at 6:12 PM on March 26, 2014
Best answer: You probably should add a label pointing at the butt that says "ovipositor".
posted by aubilenon at 6:20 PM on March 26, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by aubilenon at 6:20 PM on March 26, 2014 [7 favorites]
Best answer: Don't forget to label the horsefeathers.
posted by amtho at 6:29 PM on March 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by amtho at 6:29 PM on March 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
The Indigo Girls song "Chicken Man" was inspired by a little known cult from about 100-80 BCE which worshipped chickens. The lyric "Chicken Man, Chicken Man, Chicken Man hold my hand" is a direct quote from their ancient manuscripts.
posted by bunderful at 6:34 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by bunderful at 6:34 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Chickens can travel through time by accelerating to 88 miles per hour.
Specially bred yellow chickens provide all the feathers for the Big Bird costume used on Sesame Street.
The first hybrid of a chicken and a turkey, known as a "chirkey," was hatched in 2002. It was reportedly delicious.
A pet chicken once escaped from its owners' car at a gas station in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and four months later arrived on its own at their new home in Forks, Washington.
There is a chicken behind you at all times, but it moves out of your range of vision whenever you turn around.
Chickens enjoy making up outrageous lies about themselves.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:56 PM on March 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
Specially bred yellow chickens provide all the feathers for the Big Bird costume used on Sesame Street.
The first hybrid of a chicken and a turkey, known as a "chirkey," was hatched in 2002. It was reportedly delicious.
A pet chicken once escaped from its owners' car at a gas station in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and four months later arrived on its own at their new home in Forks, Washington.
There is a chicken behind you at all times, but it moves out of your range of vision whenever you turn around.
Chickens enjoy making up outrageous lies about themselves.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:56 PM on March 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
Only the peregrine falcon can fly faster than a chicken.
posted by double block and bleed at 9:23 PM on March 26, 2014
posted by double block and bleed at 9:23 PM on March 26, 2014
An eleven year old boy in Providence, RI was one of 637 people in the US to die last year of gallus toxicosis ("chicken poisoning") after eating 43 Chicken McNuggets.®
posted by double block and bleed at 9:35 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by double block and bleed at 9:35 PM on March 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Ramses II paid over 500 pounds in gold and electrum for a single chicken feather as a gift for his daughter, as chickens were unknown in Egypt at that time.
posted by double block and bleed at 9:44 PM on March 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by double block and bleed at 9:44 PM on March 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
Best answer: If you removed all of the chickens from Earth, the length of day would decrease by four minutes, due to the lower mass of the planet. If you removed all the Chickens from the moon, all intercontinental shipping would cease, due to the utter lack of tides.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 9:49 PM on March 26, 2014
posted by Cold Lurkey at 9:49 PM on March 26, 2014
Best answer: The deadly game of chicken is based on the competitive behaviour of poultry during the rutting season, in which two birds face off and ram into each other head-first. This is how a pecking order is established.
A chick is a juvenile hen; young roosters are called dudes.
Chickens perform most bodily functions via a single orifice called the egg nog.
Nearly all chicken recipes can be made vegetarian by replacing the poultry with an equal amount of marshmallow peeps.
Mock chicken soup, popular during the chicken famine of the 18th century, was made with turtle meat.
An egg cream is a popular drink made with eggs and cream.
The ostrich is known as the chicken of the sea.
The ancient Babylonians, pioneers in the redistribution of wealth, worshipped a golden hen called Qu'ic-ken, from which the popular tax software gets its name.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:32 PM on March 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
A chick is a juvenile hen; young roosters are called dudes.
Chickens perform most bodily functions via a single orifice called the egg nog.
Nearly all chicken recipes can be made vegetarian by replacing the poultry with an equal amount of marshmallow peeps.
Mock chicken soup, popular during the chicken famine of the 18th century, was made with turtle meat.
An egg cream is a popular drink made with eggs and cream.
The ostrich is known as the chicken of the sea.
The ancient Babylonians, pioneers in the redistribution of wealth, worshipped a golden hen called Qu'ic-ken, from which the popular tax software gets its name.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:32 PM on March 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
s/waddle/wattle/g
posted by caution live frogs at 7:09 AM on March 27, 2014
posted by caution live frogs at 7:09 AM on March 27, 2014
As proven by a lucky stowaway on Apollo 14, it only takes one chicken laid end to end to breach the gap between the earth and moon.
posted by Turkey Glue at 3:21 PM on March 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Turkey Glue at 3:21 PM on March 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
I'd be tempted to put in a Breaking Bad joke with Los Pollos Hermanos.
posted by barnone at 3:28 PM on March 28, 2014
posted by barnone at 3:28 PM on March 28, 2014
Hey maryr, if you get a chance, would you post a photo of the end result? I'd love to see what you end up with!
posted by evidenceofabsence at 5:13 PM on March 28, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by evidenceofabsence at 5:13 PM on March 28, 2014 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Will do! And I appreciate all the contributions - I'll mark any I use as a 'best answer'. Right now I'm struggling through the horrifying autogenerated HTML used on the original web page. Not entirely sure where I can post a simple HTML web page these days either! I'm not web 2.0 ready!
posted by maryr at 9:33 PM on March 28, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by maryr at 9:33 PM on March 28, 2014 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Final product is here featuring contributions from *takes a deep breath* neckro23, amarynth, aubilenon, blahblahblah, Cold Lurkey, Serene Empress Dork, Banish Misfortune, evidenceofabsence, Rock Steady, Sys Rq, double block and bleed, herrdoktor, and the aforementioned Rustic Etruscan and sculpin. (I think that's everyone!) Metroid Baby did the wonderful, wonderful graphic. And I would have liked to use more, but I wanted to keep the list pretty close to the original length.
I'll let you know if my co-workers react at the end of the work day, but I thought you'd enjoy reading the final product. I had a blast putting this together; thank you all again!
posted by maryr at 8:34 PM on March 31, 2014 [6 favorites]
I'll let you know if my co-workers react at the end of the work day, but I thought you'd enjoy reading the final product. I had a blast putting this together; thank you all again!
posted by maryr at 8:34 PM on March 31, 2014 [6 favorites]
I'll let you know if my co-workers react at the end of the work day
maryr's lack of update can only mean one thing. One of these facts hit a little too close to home, and she was disappeared by black helicopters, and now is being held captive by shadowy forces.
Or she decided to eat dinner first.
posted by aubilenon at 8:00 PM on April 1, 2014
maryr's lack of update can only mean one thing. One of these facts hit a little too close to home, and she was disappeared by black helicopters, and now is being held captive by shadowy forces.
Or she decided to eat dinner first.
posted by aubilenon at 8:00 PM on April 1, 2014
Final product is here
It is beautiful in every way. Thanks for sharing it with us!!
posted by evidenceofabsence at 11:52 AM on April 3, 2014
It is beautiful in every way. Thanks for sharing it with us!!
posted by evidenceofabsence at 11:52 AM on April 3, 2014
Ahahahaha... I love it! The labels on the graphic are hysterical. I don't know why "root chakra" made me snort out loud, but it did.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 1:32 PM on April 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 1:32 PM on April 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: It's a bit late, but here's a better link for the final copy: http://tilde.club/~maryr/chickn/
posted by maryr at 2:11 PM on October 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by maryr at 2:11 PM on October 1, 2014 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by neckro23 at 3:14 PM on March 26, 2014 [2 favorites]