cut off flaky friend?
February 27, 2014 7:28 AM Subscribe
How to deal with a friend who you really like, who is really unreliable?
posted by bearette to Human Relations (26 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
I've had a friend for several years; in many ways I consider him my best friend. I really like his personality, we communicate so easily and understand each other always in conversation. It's one of those "kindred spirit" friendships. When we hang out, we always have a great time and hours past without notice. He is 100% present when we talk, gives great advice, is a great listener, and in general is very nice.
However, on a practical level he is very unreliable, and always has been (from my point of view). We live in different countries, and will make plans to video chat which requires lots of planning, sort of, because of the time zone difference. In the past he has completely dropped the ball on communications over and over again, often leaving me hanging. He always apologizes and changes his behavior a little bit, but usually reverts back.
Recently we have been talking about doing a business venture together (because we have so many ideas and agree on many things) and he made all of these plans for us to talk once a week, research for us to do in between, and such. So, I did the research, and he told me at the last second he couldn't make our first meeting and I haven't heard from him in three weeks. This is typical of stuff he does.
The problem is, it drives me crazy and I think it's disrespectful. and yet he is a unique friend; I don't have any other friends that I enjoy talking to as much and who I feel understand me as well. Perhaps I could find one, I admit.
My questions, essentially: Is it worth dealing with this crap when the friend is special? Or is it less painful in the end to cut him out of my life? If I keep him in my life, how do I deal with this flaky crap? If I cut him off, how do I deal with the loss of friendship, and stick to my guns of not contacting him?
note: I've talked to him about this issue so many times; he always apologizes and it seems to get better initially but then it happens again.